An early Christmas Story



Nineteen years ago, at the beginning of December...I had only one turkey living on the field.
Boris was a mere youngster then...a rather skinny adolescent with a winning nature and an lonely disposition, he spent the short days of winter wandering his enclosure in the vain hope of finding a busty mate.
Unsure of exactly where to get a female turkey from, I put an advertisement up at the post office which read

Wanted
Female TURKEY for sex starved Stag
looks and age immaterial
No time wasters Please


On the 5th of December I received a phone call from a poultry farmer in Hollywell, informing me that he was about to cull his entire flock of English Whites, and if I was quick I could have one female!
I jumped at the chance.
And minutes after the call, I found myself standing in a huge aircraft hanger of a barn, looking at 800, fat, stupid and very loud Christmas turkeys.
"Help yourself" the farmer said and I suddenly found myself with the awesome responsibility of choosing one turkey survivor out of hundreds!
which one should I pick?
Which one looked more nervous?
Which one had the most gentle or needy expression?
I was literally spoilt for choice.....as 1,600 dark soulful eyes watched my every move......
Who would I save?
Which girl would have the opportunity to gallop gaily in a green field with the sun on her beak?

I looked pleadingly at the farmer for inspiration, and without a pause he bent down a picked up a slightly slickly looking female who just had been pecked on the back of her head.....
"Here... have this one" he said..... as he plonked her under my arm
"What should I call her?" I asked, trying to make conversation
He smiled and laughed
"I'd call her fucking lucky....that's what I would call her!"


And that's how Gloria appeared here on the field!........
I told the story to Jason today, when he stopped by when on a dog walk....
"You're a regular turkey Oskar Schindler " he said brightly, when I had finished!



20 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:10 pm

    Did love bloom John?, don’t keep us hanging! 🤣 L

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous6:08 pm

      Oh no, all is not fair in love sometimes.

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    2. He nearly killed her a few times and eventually they had to be separated , Gloria died of old age and was fed to my pigs who ate her beak and all , within 6 hours

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    3. Anonymous7:46 pm

      Really? God you get rid of a body , if you were a murderer

      Sian

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    4. Who says I haven’t

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  2. I'd have had to take the lot! xx

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  3. So, no patter of tiny claws, then?

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    Replies
    1. They had to be separated into different enclosures

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  4. Barbara Anne6:52 pm

    A disappointing outcome, but your heart was in the right place, John. Another one for your book?

    Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. I loved the farmer’s comment ,

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    2. Anonymous7:47 pm

      I tittered ( quoting u) at this too

      Keith

      Xx

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    3. Yes I found him amusing Keith , ps thanks for the email

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  5. The male turkey who used to live next door killed a female he shared space with. I don't think the males and females are supposed to live together. Doesn't seem like it, anyway.

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    Replies
    1. Bingley my second turkey loved his females and looked after them , boris just had eyes for me , he tried to mate me daily

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  6. Anonymous7:45 pm

    Squire John, these animal stories were before I joined Going Gently but I loved this one , very James Herriot ( I loved the tv series)

    Lee

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  7. Could Boris afford to be that picky?

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  8. A poultry matchmaker.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes