I’m in a strange, unsettled period of my life at the moment, most of which I can’t discuss here.
Im a fixer a sorter, a rescuer by nature.
I’m also a people pleaser
And so when I’m feeling depleted, my go to position is not always a healthy choice for me.
For it depletes me further.
I’m not explaining this for anyone else but myself, I’m just reminding myself to regroup and to take stock
today,
My friend Polly is on a conference in Barcelona and she has just sent me one photograph
No words, no comments , just this photo
And viewing it, has nurtured every sadness, today has brought with it
I'm beginning to think I would have my time again if it were possible.
ReplyDeletethat old saying 'you can't please all of the people all of the time') comes to mind - it's difficult with people pleasing to know where to draw the line and look after number one (you) I hope you will give yourself little treats and pats on the back and sometimes say 'no' when it gets too much, you need to be selfish sometimes! Betty x
ReplyDeleteWhat a glorious and exuberant photo of sunshine through those lovely stained glass windows. It makes me wonder if perhaps I can fly!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
John, I know that one well. You want to help but you know if you do it will knock you for six. Trouble is that in the nicest possible way if people know you will help and wrap them up in love when things are tough they will gravitate your way. You cannot fix all of the people all of the time. Sometimes they have to learn to fix themselves too. There are such things as boundaries and if you impose them some just do not understand. They do not see the other side of things where you know if you do help you will be scuppered and the pain that is carried on the inside when you say you cannot do; more so if it is someone you consider a good friend and that hurts too. I have lost many good friends over the years all because I have imposed boundaries. The people who are meant to be in your life will stay and where there are gaps new ones will come in. You count too and if you are not able to help because of what is going on in your own life at any one particular time so be it that is circumstances making the choice for you. For many years I have been an alternative health practitioner and one of the most basic rules for the technique of healing that I use is that if you the Practitioner are not well or not 100% for any reason the healing will not be as effective as it should be. Sometimes it is a case of "Healer, heal thyself" Learning to love yourself is a fundamental tool that you need to be able to use in enforcing boundaries and for you to be able to grow and flourish. You have done a lot of growing in the past few years, now it is time to take time for you. A little time now will save further issues later on. You can only do what you can do at any one time. A decision is not wrong at the time of making it, it is just the circumstances change and people review matters in a different light. Hugs I feel your pain, do what is right for you at this time. Hugs Tricia x
ReplyDeleteTakes one to know one. Which is probably why most of us are here and know what you are not saying.
ReplyDeleteThe most levelling thing is simply to give yourself time. Breath deep, get your shoulders down from around your ears and do whatever is necessary to try and decompress a little. And stop making the brain take all the strain. Try leaning out instead of leaning in, and make sure the people leaning in are doing so to support as well as to be supported. You do not have to always be everyone else's flying buttress. And sometimes it is just your turn to take a breather, to be helped, to think of yourself first. And none of this is easy, even though it all sounds like a bag of cliches. Because cliches are cliches for a reason!
Beautiful photo! Wishing you strength & healing, plus sending virtual hugs John.
ReplyDeleteI need to use Pattypan’s comments myself, not always easy to do. WI Dee
This, too, shall pass.
ReplyDeleteI think we have similar experiences although I also think you tend to go much further and do much more than I do. I hope you can be kind to yourself right now. Aren’t we always at least a bit unsettled?
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're feeling off-kilter. As others have said, and as you already know, you sometimes just need to say no, for your own sake. The photo is beautiful. I'm not religious at all, but the sight of that rainbow of colour touches my soul. xx
ReplyDeleteBeautiful photo. Hugs for you, John. x
ReplyDeleteI often look to my cats for comfort. If I had a dog I’d hug him too.
ReplyDelete