A Kind and Timely Photo

 I’m in a strange, unsettled period of my life at the moment, most of which I can’t discuss here.
Im a fixer a sorter, a rescuer by nature. 
I’m also a people pleaser
And so when I’m feeling depleted, my go to position is not always a healthy choice for me.
For it depletes me further.
I’m not explaining this for anyone else but myself, I’m just reminding myself to regroup and to take stock
today, 
My friend Polly is on a conference in Barcelona and she has just sent me one photograph 
No words, no comments , just this photo


And viewing it, has nurtured every sadness, today has brought with it

92 comments:

  1. I'm beginning to think I would have my time again if it were possible.

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  2. that old saying 'you can't please all of the people all of the time') comes to mind - it's difficult with people pleasing to know where to draw the line and look after number one (you) I hope you will give yourself little treats and pats on the back and sometimes say 'no' when it gets too much, you need to be selfish sometimes! Betty x

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    1. I’m usually good at this but, there are more worries ( unshared) lurking betty

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  3. Barbara Anne2:29 pm

    What a glorious and exuberant photo of sunshine through those lovely stained glass windows. It makes me wonder if perhaps I can fly!

    Hugs!

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    1. She sent me the photo similar to the one I took when I was there

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  4. Yorkshire Liz2:52 pm

    Takes one to know one. Which is probably why most of us are here and know what you are not saying.
    The most levelling thing is simply to give yourself time. Breath deep, get your shoulders down from around your ears and do whatever is necessary to try and decompress a little. And stop making the brain take all the strain. Try leaning out instead of leaning in, and make sure the people leaning in are doing so to support as well as to be supported. You do not have to always be everyone else's flying buttress. And sometimes it is just your turn to take a breather, to be helped, to think of yourself first. And none of this is easy, even though it all sounds like a bag of cliches. Because cliches are cliches for a reason!

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    1. Liz, I love your advice here, and your words are my words ( spoken to others)
      I value them

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  5. Anonymous2:53 pm

    Beautiful photo! Wishing you strength & healing, plus sending virtual hugs John.

    I need to use Pattypan’s comments myself, not always easy to do. WI Dee

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    1. I had planned a date on Friday and cancelled ,
      I have to think carefully just why I did that

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  6. This, too, shall pass.

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  7. I think we have similar experiences although I also think you tend to go much further and do much more than I do. I hope you can be kind to yourself right now. Aren’t we always at least a bit unsettled?

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    1. Agreed…I’m feeling better tonight, I’ve let friends in

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  8. I'm so sorry you're feeling off-kilter. As others have said, and as you already know, you sometimes just need to say no, for your own sake. The photo is beautiful. I'm not religious at all, but the sight of that rainbow of colour touches my soul. xx

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    1. Gaude wanted the colours of the sea and the sky through different windows

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  9. Beautiful photo. Hugs for you, John. x

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  10. Krayolakris3:53 pm

    I often look to my cats for comfort. If I had a dog I’d hug him too.

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    1. Roger is searching the night sky through the cat flap , Mary is next to me as always

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  11. You're a thoughtful and honest man. That's part of what's hard to cope with.

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    1. I’m sharing my shit because I know it’s safe t do so here , you are my friends

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  12. Damselfly4:02 pm

    Gorgeous photo from within La Sagrada Familia!
    Hugs to you, John dear, and head scritches for sweet Mary, dim & delightful Roger, lovable Bun, and warrior Weaver!

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    1. Roger is in the kitchen with his head through the cat flap , mary is asleep next to me, bun in in front of the fire and weaver is our killing small children

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  13. Good advice from Pattypan. Gorgeous light.

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  14. Polly’s photo is beautiful and the blessing is that she wasn’t on the Funicular. Wishing you small steps forward as you work to refill your cup. Witness is sometimes the only thing that be done and that, too, is precious to the receiver. Take good care of yourself. Hugs.

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  15. I just look at that photo and remind myself that there is beauty behind the sadness.
    Another cliché I know...

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  16. Jackie5:33 pm

    Yes, I totally get that

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  17. Anonymous5:36 pm

    John, the picture is stunning! I’m sending you love and the biggest hug in the world !❤️. Carol in Atlanta

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    1. The photo reminded me of when Jane and I walked into the sagrada and the organs planted a surprise welcome
      And I cried

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  18. I am sorry you are sad or struggling, it seemed just the past few weeks you are doing so very well. Especially after the job threat resolved and your health is managed and improving. Hang in there. You are loved and supported by so many of your fans. Sending a hug and a G&T, tho I ll take mine w vodka/ soda American style. Xx lizzy

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    1. I think I was travelling along on Adrenalin lizzy , and now I’ve come down with an unexpected bump ,
      With a few unpublished new worries x

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    2. We're here to listen, to offer a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on. You have my email if you wish.

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    3. And I value that offer dearHeart

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  19. Do whatever you need to do to get yourself back to your even keel.
    Lovely photo an amazing building site :-) Josie ( )

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    1. I’m doing exactly that , alcea, x

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  20. A virtual hug coming your way xx

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  21. Anonymous6:56 pm

    Oh I so agree with my Mamaleh Lee
    Have you been trying for jobs outside the hospital ? If you have at 60 that’s a tough road to negotiate , I. Understand that tale all too well and it’s an exhausting one.

    Your friend

    Keith

    Xx

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  22. DearHeart Keith , a wise old bird you are

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  23. And dearest Lee, we have to meet one day , we really do, have Filipe wrapped up and sent around

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  24. Wise words which I have taken on board
    I adhere to your boundary ideas , but I have to acknowledge that the Adrenalin which has fed me over the past 7 weeks has now dissipated and left me flat…I have looked at other jobs and other finance sources and things are tough x

    Thank you for your words dearHeart

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  25. Anonymous8:16 pm

    I’d scare you to death if we met , but like I once told you , I’d buy you a cocktail in Docks 3rd avenue

    Lee

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  26. Hope all will be well, John. xo

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  27. Did you know that colour healing is one of the most natural healing elements there is and so soothing. It reflects the light in the soul, it is always nearly understood just by looking as well. That photo is pure healing in itself; something particular about the light. Sometimes we choose a particular colour to wear on one particular day and that can reflect what is going on at soul level with you. You will get there and you will get through it. Although these things cause upheaval and angst, which we could do without, sometimes they lead to the right situation for us individually although you cannot always see it at the time. Sometimes though we can beat ourselves up with possibilities that may never happen, the What if's, instead of letting things unravel in their own time and place. I hold my hand up as being a chief offender, as you say it is when the adrenalin which is helping you through that drops. Sometimes you are not meant to fight, just be aware xx

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  28. My best friend is nuala , you won’t frighten me

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  29. When I walked into the cathedral my heart soared
    It is the most amazing experience of my life

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  30. That photo seems to have almost mystical/magical qualities and I am not a woo-woo person.
    You know well that so many of us out here are in your pocket in case you need us.

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  31. Imagine the genius to understand how the light would burst with color [in the cathedral]. The talent, the creativity, the engineering skills. Gaudi must have been a rare gifted man.

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    1. Gaudy wanted some windows to reflect water and then Forrest’s , and u get that feeling so well , god I loved this building so much

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  32. I would love to go back there to see that light. (There was still no roof when we were there 25yrs ago!) Take it easy, things will iron out in the end.

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    1. It’s almost finished my friend just a few spires to go

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  33. Then it is meant for you. Follow the light it will never lead you astray nor will your inner voice. Trusting is a big part in the process. Let your inner light guide you. Always here xx

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  34. During stressful times, I often take one day at a time and tell myself, tomorrow is a new day.
    Thinking too far ahead just brings to many unknowns.
    In the US there are lots of people doing online counselling sessions. Is the same true in the UK?

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  35. Anonymous10:56 pm

    Health comes first, everything else is secondary. Veggie soup with a touch of curry and crusty bread soothes

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    1. Lee’s chicken soup with Matzah balls

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  36. That photo is amazing. The left half could pass for an Impressionist painting.

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    1. It’s exactly how I remember it , and that experience was sublime

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  37. Dear John, coming down with a tremendous thump was totally predictable, after such a ghastly month or more. So, curl up with friends who can be leant upon, and believe a new day will dawn and the sun will shine again. I'd supply a flying buttress from New Zealand if I could. XX, and more XX.

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    1. Chic Eleanor texted today with the offer of theatre , how lovely

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  38. I hope you find some things to make you smile this weekend. A movie, a Scottish egg?

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    1. I’m working all weekend and that’s ok, I will be busy

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  39. Anonymous2:45 am

    Hang on! Sometimes all you can do. Kathy

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  40. I think you understand yourself well. You are truly depleted and running on empty after a stressful time and need to protect and strengthen yourself at the moment before you have enough for others too. The words of "Pattypan" are so helpful and also those of all your wonderful commentators here. Bathe your inner self in healing light and the photo reminds of exactly that. Take good care of yourself.

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    1. My nerves have been battered by several issues recently .some I can’t share here

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  41. I don't have the words that will make a difference to how you feel, but I sincerely hope your worries are resolved - life always seems to serve up cold showers when you least expect them. I hope yours warms up soon, xx

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    1. Sharing some of it here helps my friend

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  42. Shelly Williams9:07 am

    I think it’s our age, John . We just get one lot of problems sorted and then along come the next lot ! Look after yourself Shelly xxx

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    1. Shelly. Ain’t THAT the truth 😕👍

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  43. Stunning picture, John. It is mysterious and enchanting. I can see how it would heal you. Mental health, as you well know, is a soup of sorts - so many ingredients, and each day's batch is different. I used to want to feel great every day, and worried when I didn't. Now I know that just isn't possible, and I can mostly just go with the flow.

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    1. A good tact , and one I’m trying to adhere to

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  44. A very large hug to you from London. Look after yourself, in fact cherish yourself. We're all thinking of you and wishing you well. Jxx

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    1. Jan I wish I could share, my worries at the moment, but I can’t x

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    2. I understand that you can't. Too far away to deliver an actual hug, but all the same.... We are there for you, whether or not you can share your worries right now. You matter to me. Jxx

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  45. What wonderful light. Sending hugs from afar.

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  46. It takes a special friend to know that sending you a simple photo will be just what you need at that moment. You have a lot of special friends that are there for you. xx

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    1. I do indeed and I count you as one of them , I remember well your pragmatic support soon after Chris left

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  47. Jo in Auckland.4:02 am

    Oh that photo is wonderful, the minute I saw it I felt that I might cry, I'm still teary whilst writing this. I'm adding to the big hug from afar, you've had so much on your plate and living on the edge of it all makes sense you've come down with a bump. I know that feeling all too well, not a lot left in the tank. Just know that even from lil ole NZ I am sending you healing vibes. I love what Pattypan says about colour healing ... probably why the photo want's to make me cry. Chin up {{{HUGS}}}

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  48. Anonymous7:41 pm

    Do hope that whatever your unsaid worries are, that they pass, and you feel peaceful. Beverley.

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  49. Anonymous8:20 pm

    If you can't discuss it on here why write about it? Are u thinking we'll all be so worried wondering what it can be about? Couldn't give an ant's fart.

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