Tact is the art of saying nothing, when there is nothing you can say.
So many people cannot cope with this skill
It doesn’t feature in their arsenal
Some need to either fill a void with a platitude,or emoji or prove to themselves they are worthy by trying to say the right thing.
Invariably they make things worse by failing to reading the room, or by not seeing the bigger picture.
Silence is part of counselling culture and training.
It allows a look to convey concern or empathy or just acceptance
It gives space, and allows pain to be shared without heavy handed words and meaningless phrases
Silence is ancient
It is powerful
And it is not used enough
Thank you for this reminder. I am not a big talker, and often wish some would not comment on everything. I so enjoy your posts.
ReplyDeleteThis is a personal post today
DeleteYou are so right.
ReplyDeleteA rarity sometimes but I agree lol
DeleteI'm sure I don't use it enough. I try to, but sometimes the thing I want to say just won't stay unsaid.
ReplyDeletePerhaps an answer is pausing a little and giving yourself a question…..will what I say be useful ?
DeleteI’m sensing a great deal of pain in this post
ReplyDeleteLee
You sense right
DeleteDoes this mean that a counsellor can earn money by saying nothing and just sitting there sagely, occasionally nodding or raising the old eyebrows? Even Yosser Hughes could have done that.
ReplyDeleteI’ve know some do exactly this
DeleteA song from my mental jukebox John: " When You Say Nothing At All"- Ronan Keating. The lyrics are brilliant.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
DeleteWithout saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may, I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best, when you say nothing at all
All day long, I can hear people talking out loud (ooh)
But when you hold me near (you hold me near) you drown out the crowd (out the crowd)
Try as they may, they can never define
What's being said between your heart and mine
The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best (you say it best) when you say nothing at all
Oh, the smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best (you say it best) when you say nothing at all
That smile on your face (you say it best)
(When you say nothing at all) the truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand lets me know that you need me (you say it best, when you say nothing at all)
(You say it best, when you say nothing at all) nothing at all
Love it! Was this song in the movie Nottinghill or Love Actually or ... ?
DeleteHugs!
Notting Hill
DeleteThanks to you, I'm now trying to think before I dive in. Trying to teach myself to read their body language and judge when words are needed and, more importantly, when they're not. xx
ReplyDeleteI’m not a silence lover, I’ve chosen to embrace it more
DeleteTact cannot be taught, and neither can empathy.
ReplyDeleteMy point exactly ( xxx)
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SCOimBo5tg
ReplyDeleteIsn’t she lovely
DeleteSometimes, the act of being there, without the need to offer solutions or words, can be profoundly supportive. A sense of normalcy and an unspoken assurance that a person is not alone. This form of silent support allows for emotions to be felt, expressed and worked through without feeling pressured to articulate feelings or entertain the friend/relative. It takes being comfortable with yourself, with your own feelings and emotions, and those of others. Not everyone is and that need to fill the silences is often too painful.
ReplyDeleteWestern communication with the need to speak, read, and write so extensively that even short pauses can feel awkward, prompting us to fill the gap with small talk. In many Western contexts, silence can come across as a void that must be filled or a sign of disengagement.
DeleteYet in numerous Eastern, native American, Scandinavian, and Polynesian cultures are quiet cultures with more emphasis on affective communication, such as expressing their feelings about something, rather than just verbal communication. The tradition of story telling, listen, observing is the golden silence.
An interesting and astute perception
DeleteSo very true, John.
ReplyDeleteFrom my childhood, "If you cannot say something nice, say nothing at all."
Hugs!
I think it’s more , if you are not sure of what to say , say nothing
Delete