I was buggered yesterday.
The acuity rating of our patients is high, which essentially means they are complex and need a great deal of nurse intervention
The upside of this is that you are busy and stimulated
The downside is that your feet ache when you get home.
I so needed Dorothy’s foot massage tongue last night
I soaked my feet in a washing up bowl of hot soapy water instead.
Gin and tonic in hand.
I woke late today, it was nearly eleven
I walked the Welsh and treated them with some cooked ham
And enjoyed the face Mary always pulls when she’s eating something delicious
I had a Facebook message from a guy I didn’t recognise this morning too.
It was the son of one of my old spinal Injury patients I’d nursed back in 1998 or so
Her name was Julia and I remember her once wheeling herself into my office to inform me that I was
A hard hearted bastard!
“ I’ve been called worse “ I shot back
“I bet you fucking have “ she replied over her shoulder
Julia was a patient we would now describe as challenging
Then I would have described her as a pain in the arse
But I sort of liked her, despite her ability to be able to exasperate even the most pious of nuns.
Julia’s son messaged me with the news that his mother had died at the age of 77
She was herself to the end, he wrote, and even called her Intensive Care Consultant a Cu*t before she succumbed to her illness.
That sounded like the julia I remembered, the middle aged Rotherham woman who would give the young male paraplegics a run for their money any day, with a potty mouth and with a respect for no one she hadn’t tested herself.
She was a terrier of a woman, spiky, earthy some would say common. A product of a hard upbringing and a life of tragedy.
But when Julia left the Spinal Injury Unit she left me a signed paperback book she had read whilst on bedrest
It was Going Gently by David Nobbs.
I still have it somewhere
On the front page she had written with love from Julia, you gave me my life back
And I replied to her son’s message with this very story
Another heartwarming and heart breaking reminiscence. I'm sure Julia's son will enjoy that story. Is that where you got the title of your blog from?
ReplyDeleteOn a different note, I remember those aching, hot, sweaty feet after a long shift. A long soak in a bowl of hot, soapy water is bliss, although I suspect a foot wash/massage by an adoring bulldog is better! xx
Yes I read the book soon after and that’s where the blog title came from
DeleteShe was obviously still a little soft-hearted beneath that brash, hard-shell coating then?
ReplyDeleteShe was very motivating with her younger fellow patients , as I recall
DeleteLovely memory, worth all the aching feet and back.
ReplyDeleteI’ve rested all day today , it’s been bliss
DeletePersonality traits can be very trying. Those same traits help the individual get through the day. That's my experience.
ReplyDeleteBut for a manager and strong personality nurses they can be a headache, I did a lot of peacemaking with her as I recall
DeleteAnother beautifully written vignette, John. "A product of a hard upbringing and a life of tragedy" -- I know that spiky, difficult personality type too. Sometimes there's a soft heart underneath all those tough, protective layers.
ReplyDeleteYes , we often would look at each other after a “ discussion” without saying anything
DeleteTg3 look said I understand u
You have helped so many people in your life, John.
ReplyDeleteAnd they have shaped me
DeleteWell, that made me cry John, but in a good way. And after all these years of following you, I had no idea where the title of your blog originated from. Nice.
ReplyDeleteYes. I’d be interested what everyone thought it had come from
DeleteThat's an amazing person. It sounds as if she powered her way through life. I'm glad you knew her. Clearly you're important in their lives.
ReplyDeleteSome people are battlers
DeleteThey fight to survive everything
Oh, man. The. patients you do not forget.
ReplyDeleteShe named you.
And she sounds like my kind of woman.
I can name at least a dozen spinal patients who were special to me
DeleteShe was one
What a heartwarming story, John, and some patients do really stay in your memory forever. Another one for your book. so print it and stick it in a folder or box with the others you've chosen or we've chosen! ;-)
ReplyDeleteThey make both water bath and wooden foot massagers since dear Dorothy has gone, but I've not used any of them so have no recommendations.
Hugs!
I need and want another bulldog
DeleteThere is a book in you lad. You’ve already written most of it.
ReplyDeleteYes I have
DeleteThat gave me a shiver!
ReplyDeleteA good one I hope…..
DeleteYes, a good one!
DeleteI found that quite moving
ReplyDeleteLee
🙏🌈
DeleteDifficult patients usually do better. She sounds like the kind of patient I like and I'm glad she had a long life.
ReplyDeleteAnd you remember them more
DeleteLovely memory, one which I'm confident Julia's son will cherish.
ReplyDeleteRest well, John dear.
I remembered him after the message.
DeleteA young man who loved and understood his rather difficult mother
Oh John, you are such a good man. I love all your stories but this one really got me.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others that you must write a book. You have touched so many lives.
Carol in Atlanta
I’ve written once before about the origin of going gently but I didn’t make it clear that it was an accident of reading and then a gift
DeleteA bit of grit normally helps when times are tough.
ReplyDeleteThe nurses on rehab often had to be tough mudders, but not just confrontational for the sake of it.
DeleteKnow we know the origin of your blog title, how appropriate. Life is truly full of characters.
ReplyDeleteYes it all started in spinal injuries and a gift of a book read by accident
DeleteAnd that perfectly describes what you do, and how and why you do it. Your life, attitude and career in a nutshell. It also shows the impact you have on people you help and look after, and how the heartfelt impact of you stays with them forever. Take a quiet bow, John Gray.
ReplyDeleteI was always quite tough on her, but I was also very careful to support her young son and daughter who where only in their early 20s then
DeleteWe did a great deal of family support back then
I had a teacher like her, she was hard on me but before graduation she suddenly was kind and I needed that
ReplyDeleteKeith
Xx