The Church as seen from my garden today
I’m not religious.
I’m agnostic I suppose but I’m a humanist by nature who believes for the most part that there is good in most of us.
I envy the certain nature of someone who has a strong faith
It lends a particular inner peace that at times seems very simple and very serene
Perhaps things seem more black and white to them
Less ambivalent
I miss sitting in our little stone built church
It’s locked and empty now.
Only a few years ago I used to clean it.
I Polished the pews until they smelled of lemons and shone in the light filtering from the south facing windows
And I hoovered the red carpet until the plug was pulled from the wall.
After that I would sit
And think and drift off from thinking into a meditative fugue
I miss that
I miss the silence, the true silence forced by two foot walls and windows of lead.
No faint buzz of traffic
No chirps of sparrows
Just silence.
I'm like you, not religious, but I find a church no matter how large and ornate, to very simple and small.. quaint churches...very serene.
ReplyDeleteThe stone seems to absorb the history, it’s almost palpable
DeleteI, too, am not religious, but the architecture, stillness and quiet inside old churches always gets to me. It's a shame your church isn't open for quiet contemplation, but I guess that would open it to vandalism. Is there any news as to its future? xx
ReplyDeleteIt’s a pity, the Trelawnyd Community Association already has a huge village hall to look after, and to maintain
Deleteit always made us laugh at you in the village the fact that you clean the church but your house was filhty inside!
ReplyDeleteWhat an odd thing to say and an obvious lie to boot…..how bizarre
DeleteI'm an atheist but I have to admit that walking into Notre Dame last week for the first time since the fire, I cried - Bel Ami
ReplyDeleteI get that John, I would be the same my reaction when I walked into La Sagrada Familia was unexpected too.i was overwhelmed
DeleteLovely and evocative writing.
ReplyDeleteI have much affection for the old building, which I always view as an old man
DeleteI don't like being in churches anymore. I think of all of the years I was Catholic and followed all of the rules and it makes me angry and I don't find peace there at all.
ReplyDeleteI am not religious at all now but I find peace in nature and beauty in simple things..
I get that , being forced and expected into religion must be stifling
DeleteYour church is the twin of our church.
ReplyDeleteI, too, am not religious but appreciate the quiet serenity and beauty of a church building.
When it became apparent that the Church authorities here could no longer keep and maintain ours, it was sold for conversion to a dwelling. I wonder what fate has in store for yours?
I think selling it as a home is a problem as the new graveyard which sits behind it is still in use as a graveyard with several dozen plots still unused
DeleteI am no fan of organized religion myself but there is something in the architecture of churches, especially these old stone churches, that feel peaceful.
ReplyDeleteThe inside of the church is austere almost masculine
DeleteLovely description x
ReplyDeleteAlison in Wales x
Thank you Alison x
DeleteI'm also a lover of the calm of churches. I don't think it's that things are black and white to people with a strong faith, more that they feel that things are out of their hands, so the angst that most of us churn over within ourselves is handed over to a higher being. Many scientists are religious, perhaps because whilst they can explain the how of life, they cannot explain the why. What has been done in the name of the church is a different thing altogether.
ReplyDeleteYes let’s not go there x
DeleteLovely post today, John. I agree that there is something ethereal in an old church now empty of people where people of faith worshiped for centuries. I've read the term "thin space" for that lingering calm, peace, and holiness within the walls.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
“ Originating from Celtic traditions, Thin Spaces gives meaning to the moments in life where heaven in no longer so far from you. The present moment obtains so much of God's goodness that the space between Him and his vast Earth becomes wildly thin.”
DeleteGoogle
I also do not ascribe to religion. I do like meditation and gardens, woodlands, and nature.
ReplyDeleteI do love very old stone buildings like your church. Can the community take over the church?
In Concord, MA there is a very large Unitarian Universalist church. When their minister retired and a new minister arrived, a group of people were unhappy with the changes made. They acquired an empty church and built themselves a doctrine.
The village has already taken over care of the village hall..we tried to get the Bishop to make st Michael’s a pilgrim church ( and looked after by the village ) but he would not have it
DeleteI'm not religious either.... but i too enjoy the silence in a church.... the peace... I remember the first time i went up to a church to do just that and the door was locked.... for security reasons i learned... i always thought of churches as unlocked and free to enter and sit any time... how times change... Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteOurs had a list of key keepers on the door
DeleteI had a key for years
Organized religion is not for me, although I participated at some stages of my life. Sad the little church couldn’t be open for some set hours daily. I’d think volunteers from the village would help maintain it. Could it be listed as an historical site and open for visitors?
ReplyDeleteMeant to include my name.
DeleteWe’ve tried all similar avenues
DeleteI have on few occaisions found great solace and peace sitting inside an empty and quiet church, though not a religious person myself. I cannot recall why your lovely church is no longer open
ReplyDeleteSusan M/ Calif
Things could well change susan, let’s hope so
DeleteWhat a pity that the church is no longer open. the way you write things-you are a poet. Sue
ReplyDeletelol how kind you are Sue
DeleteSeems that you got right to the center of things with contemplating the light, scents, and the silence. There is an expression "..the peace that passes all understanding..." maybe that is what you caught a glimpse of. Also in the Good Friday and some burial liturgies that I am familiar with there is a line "...and those whose faith is known to God alone..." It sounds to me as though you are on the right path for you.
ReplyDeletePeace
Will Jay
I had forgotten it was almost Easter, not my favourite time of year
DeleteI was sad to see your last post is deleted. I came back to read it again. Anyway, I am not religious and most churches do not offer the feeling for me that many describe here. What does it for me is Nature. Hope you have a good day John.
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry I was so vociferous ( I’m a red head) but that anon makes me so pissed
DeleteLee
No matter Lee, I always love your potty mouth, I deleted it because of the #iliness of some of the comments
DeleteI'm sorry your lovely church isn't accessible anymore. I presume it's no longer a working church? Gone are the days of being able to seek peace and quiet in a church. They are usually locked. At least you have the countryside and your animals. (Wendy SAfrica)
ReplyDeleteOfficially there was only 6 or 7 regular parishioners
DeleteIs anybody responsible for checking the church? If you leave an old building locked up for weeks on end it will soon begin to deteriorate. Perhaps the church could be repurposed. JayCee on The Isle of Man lives in what was once a church and maybe that would be the best future for your church.
ReplyDeleteYes I believe it’s checked on regularly and it’s in excellent condition with a robust roof
DeleteWhen I did go to church, I went to St James Bond church in Toronto. Ian Fleming was at the Air Force base across the road from the church., and lived by the church for a short time during WW2. Sadly the church has been torn down and there are condos there now. It is believed that is how James Bond got his name. Gigi
ReplyDeleteHow interesting
DeleteI would love to live in your stone church. Gigi
ReplyDeleteNow that’s an idea
DeleteIt's a lovely church, John. Sad that it sits empty now. Once upon a time it was something of a hub for the village it seems. Now quiet. I don't attend church regularly in any way anymore, but was raised in a devout family. Married into one, too. My faith is still strong. A part of me. No, life isn't all black and white--most of it is lived in the gray areas. For me, that understanding is key to faith. Is there a simplistic element to faith? Yes. LOVE. --Elise
ReplyDeleteI don’t think it was ever the hub of Trelawnyd . There was three chapels , two of which only closed within the last few years
DeleteNot in recent times, John, but I'd think during the last century and earlier. Village churches were where weddings, baptisms and funerals happened. Many, many more people attended churches back then.
DeleteThis is Wales though, where chapels outnumbered Anglican churches. Our local market town has many more (empty) chapels of different denominations than Church in Wales churches which, although still open, are poorly attended.
DeleteI know that feeling, Often today churches are locked up like a bank vault.
ReplyDeleteI hope it evolves into something useful
DeleteWhat a beautiful looking little church. I can only imagine how you must miss sitting in there while meditating.
ReplyDeleteLike many of the others here, I am not religious - in fact I have no definite religious views, but I feel that there is some kind of Higher Power that gave us life and that each of us carries that Power within. I call on It when I need strength.
Of course this is my belief and I respect what everyone else feels.
Nicely put katie
DeleteThere is something very profound about old churches, the faithful who have walked through those doors and sat in those pews, and (some of them) found solace, and comfort and answers. Generations have celebrated and grieved and commemorated. And even a nonbeliever can acknowledge the existence of those who came before us, and those lives make that church a holy place.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry John, most of the priests I've known well didn't believe either.
ReplyDeleteWonderful descriptive writing. I really do hope that a book written by you is somewhere in the future. Hugs ~ Ro (n.w.Italy)
ReplyDeleteFor me, only some older churches have that atmosphere. The smaller, simpler ones when they are empty and you can absorb it all silently , and the large and sometimes ornate ones in Italy even when filled with people.
ReplyDeleteLike you, I’m not religious but I do find it peaceful to sit inside a quiet old church.
ReplyDeleteI'm very like you with old churches, the stones seem to have absorbed so much over the years. Mostly I guess from the devout, calm people that have found their personal salvation inside, the happy and the quietly poignant services, also the funerals which although have been heartbreakingly sad have shown people's strength at supporting each other. A sit in or around a church, or a stroll through a graveyard is a balm for the soul. I'm sorry that yours is locked up now, I know how much you loved your time in there, nourishing it's interior.
ReplyDeleteBittersweet and beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame the church can't simply stand open for people to use on an individual basis, with a volunteer corps to clean it now and then, but given the risk of vandalism and liability I suppose those days are past.
ReplyDelete