I had my last therapy session yesterday
It was my therapists last session before retirement
The session went over by twenty minutes but neither of us said anything
We shook hands as I got up to leave and we both looked a little tearful
An 80 year old therapist and her 62 year old client
“Be Happy and confident in what you do “ she said squeezing my hands as my grandmother or auntie
Glad would have done
“I will miss you” I told her honestly
“ I know” she replied, her old eyes twinkling.
And she'll miss you. xx
ReplyDeleteI hope she will
DeleteYou could arrange to meet up for coffee or a pub lunch later in the year.
ReplyDeleteNo Neil, see below x
DeleteAre you 'allowed' to keep in touch with a therapist who is no longer your therapist? Pros and cons?
ReplyDeleteTo answer you and YP
DeleteIts not a case of being allowed its just not good practice
We worked together on my reflections and my reactions and we did it professionally
Its over now and we both know that
That's what I expected. I never mention what I did for a living, but I know way more about many people than I now wish I did. It makes things awkward, especially in a rural area where I'm bound to bump into them.
DeleteThat had to be so hard, saying goodbye to your beloved therapist. I hope I never have to. I've had mine for 17 years. She's been with me through so much. She told me once that we could be friends, but only after a five-year period where she didn't see me as a client. I don't know if that's the rule, or her rule. You will have clients who feel the same way about you, John. To be seen and heard - is what all of us want, and not too many people can do that for others. You can.
ReplyDeleteI have my friends and Boundaries are healthy in therapy
DeleteSo touching. I admire your work with her and how far you've come. I'm confident you will be a splendid therapist and that you will find it rewarding. You are a profoundly good writer to boot. xxx
ReplyDeleteI am only just realising that I may be ok at this therapy thing
DeleteBe happy and confident is wonderful advice. I'm glad you seemed to have learned from her and can pass that on to your own clients.
ReplyDeleteFor. A client centred therapist she talked a lot. X
DeleteBless you both, and very well done to you xx
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteSorry, above anon was me
ReplyDeleteXx thank u
DeleteEmpathy must be a vital component of any therapist I imagine but I suppose that can also mean a little sadness too at times.
ReplyDeleteI never quite understood the proper meaning of empathy until quite recently
DeleteSo touching. Congratulations to you both.
ReplyDeleteX😉🤪
DeleteOne of my running buddies once told me that I was better for her than a therapist. I don’t know why but I think it was that I listened to her and didn’t judge. I was not in her social circle so didn’t know any of her friends. She knew I did not gossip so her secrets were safe with me. She just needed to be heard. I never had a therapist but at times it might have helped. I just believed that when you came to a fork in the road, you made a list of pros and cons for each direction, then went for it. It somehow worked for me. My girls think I did the right things but it was a bit rough on them for a few years. You will miss your therapist, she was just the right person at the right time and helped you to understand yourself. You did so well with her. I’m as proud as a mother for you. Gigi
ReplyDeleteAn interesting. Comment
DeleteFor some clients “ walk and talk” therapy is less confrontational than traditional methods
Therapy is organic whilst out for a walk
Heartwarming.
ReplyDeleteX
DeleteI have enjoyed reading what you wrote of your therapist. What great good fortune to have had such a wonderful person in your life. Also for her too, clearly a heart warming cross generational relationship. Jean in Winnipeg,
ReplyDeleteThe moment I liked her was the time after I said something that wasn’t quite honest
DeleteShe simply said
“ well that’s crap
Therapy creates such a strong and yet perplexing bond -- personal but professional, therapeutic but emotional.
ReplyDeleteYes, especially as. I feel. She was truly listeningto Me
DeleteLovely.
ReplyDelete😄🩷🌷
DeleteGlad you had the chance to work with her.
ReplyDeleteAmen 😊🩷
DeleteI hope she has a wonderful retirement and you have a wonderful career. Together you're the alpha and omega of counselling.
ReplyDeleteThere are a great number of counsellor out there, 18 in our group alone
DeleteWell done John and congratulations. X
ReplyDeleteThank you Camille x
DeleteWhat a wonderful last client she had, I'm sure you both got so much out of all your sessions. Well done on completing them, I hope she has a happy retirement.
ReplyDeleteHer husband. Is the psychologist. Who is still practicing ,
DeleteShe was certainly the person you needed at that moment in your life. How fortunate you were to find her. And I have a feeling, she will remember her last client with a great deal of fondness.
ReplyDeleteI know it shouldn’t matter but I’m pleased she is fond of me
DeleteShe sounds outstanding. You had the best possible experience doing work with her. I sense, for years to come, you will both remember each other fondly.
ReplyDeleteShe called me “ Bonny” the other day, that pleased me
DeleteIf you have been lucky enough to have a good counsellor ( and it sounds very much like you have), their wisdom and insight never leave you. I still return back to conversations with my wonderful counsellor from my sessions with her 40 years ago ; she was a wise old bird too !
ReplyDeleteI learned to trust again with mine
DeleteHow touching and sweet. I'm glad you had her as your counselor as you two were perfect for each other.
ReplyDeleteLove the suggestion above that you two might meet for lunch somewhere at some time.
Hugs!
Have now read your reply that further meetings with your counselor wouldn't be appropriate for the reasons you stated. Makes sense. Sniffle...
DeleteHugs!
Yes. My therapist. Asked me if We were to meet in public what I would want her to do? ( some clients want and ask to be ignored) I said hug me lol
DeleteNo better way to end a doctor-patient relationship.
ReplyDeleteEndings can be hard, for the therapist too. I’ve just experienced that. With. Two of my. Clients
DeleteSome people just touch our hearts and having that connection when you have been on a journey together is so special . However I can see why such a relationship had to end . Were you her last big challenge !!!! X Bernie
ReplyDeletelol I hope. I wasn’t lol
DeleteWhat a remarkable gift for you both.
ReplyDeleteI wasn’t lucky finding her, my. Supervisor suggested he, knowing we would make a fit
DeleteWish you could be my councilor! the ones here get together at the local pub and laugh about their cients! Doesn't make one feel confident. I went to one in another city but he was just a pill pusher. Yuck. Your people will be so lucky to have you - but you can't help everyone.
ReplyDeleteTalking about clients is a no no , as a nurse black humour is the mainstay of many a nurses sanity
DeleteElements of transference there but you already know that , that’s why you wrote about the connections
ReplyDeleteYour counsellor is not the only wise old bird
Lee
Yes I. Have done a bit of reflection on my relationship with my gran
DeleteYour therapist has left you with the skills to help others, wonderful. Good luck to you both. Josie
ReplyDeleteI would argue that my supervisor actually has developed my skills. My therapist increased my self awareness and my motivations
DeleteShe made me look at patterns in my relationships too
And cut through my defence mechanisms
Hell John
ReplyDeleteWhy did this have me in tears ?
Keith
Xx
You are an empath x
DeleteThank you for writing about this so honestly. You'll be excellent at counselling. Jxx
ReplyDelete