Ive finished the last of my Christmas cards this afternoon, and my mind wandered over a coffee at the kitchen table.
I noted that I’d not sent my ex mother in law a Christmas card since my separation. I had not wanted to. Within a day she had cut me from her life without even a text and that had stung, and wounded me greatly.
But that was five years ago now and I was led by Going Gently to happier times
My memories wandered to a conversation on Broadstairs beach
Sometime almost two decades ago
The Prof made himself comfortable as Sorrel and I had a chat about nothing....these "nothing"conversations drive him to distraction.......which makes them even more entertaining.
Sorrel " I love slices mango and melon"
John: " Do you?........I am a bit partial to pineapple chunks myself"
Sorrel: " Really?"
The Prof " harrumphs" at this point.
John " yes......especially tinned pineapples"
Sorrel" thats strange, I would have thought you'd go for fresh
Brief silence
Sorrel: " Do you like raspberries John?"
John " I've gone off them a bit "
Sorrel " hum"
John:" they are a bit bland, the ones from the supermarket"
Sorrel " What about strawberries?"
The Prof then sighs very loudly and shifts in his deck chair
John" Oh I love stawberries ! ........"
Sorrel " I love them too"
Prof ( under his breath ) " oh For fuck's sake"
Long silence
Sorrel " John......what Are your thoughts on passion fruit?"
The Prof screaming into the wind " OH MY GOD........I WAS ADOPTED!!!!!!"
I smiled at the memory
And on impulse wrote her a Christmas Card
Oh John , time to forgive and forget and to celebrate
ReplyDeleteBig balls
Keith
Xx
That made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteTime to heal the rift. You were both hurting in your own way. I hope she accepts the card in the spirit it was sent. xx
ReplyDeleteI think people have missed why I’ve sent the card. It’s for me, it’s my need
DeleteI get that, John. Moving on. xx
DeleteJoining in with the others...I hope she does accept your good wishes
ReplyDeleteSee above xxx
DeleteWell done you! I'm doing quite a bit of this right now, partly because I'm in a new relationship. Want to heal rifts, etc. Good luck and I hope it works for you. Jx
ReplyDeleteHow sweet of you but I guess it’s time
DeleteLee
A Christmas card. Brilliant. The best ever way to clean the slate, clear the mind of the old resentments, slights and hurts, remove that power she had, and to show yourself the kinder soul the better person. But then, all the rest of us knew that about you anyway. Consider that page going gently turned.
ReplyDeleteGoing forward x
DeleteYou are such a good man.
DeleteI imagine she will very much appreciate the card. She must have many good memories of you.
ReplyDeleteI’m sure she’s moved on , more than I have but the card was for me not really for her
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DeleteVery kind of you. I hope she shows the same toward you.
ReplyDeleteNo need
DeleteAny thoughts on blueberries?
ReplyDeleteHeehee!
DeleteEven if she doesn't respond, it doesn't take away anything from your gesture. It was a nice thing to do.
ReplyDeleteYou should have asked her about gooseberries.
DeleteI remember that conversation and “prof”’s impatience. I hope your reaching out is taken kindly and your generous heart is not hurt again.I was fortunate w my mother in law when my marriage broke up. Unlike my brothers in law she was always warm and loving, Happily celebrated all my holidays which were not hers. She set a good example as do you.
ReplyDeleteThe painted beach huts are adorable
Lizzy d xxx
It’s time YP to let hurts go, whats the point?
DeleteMore to the point, what's the point of sending her a card. She's no interest in knowing you. You need to recognise when a relationship is dead in the water.
DeleteIt’s not about her, it’s about me, it’s how I feel
DeleteI left the original comment not YP but not the anonymous follow up.
DeleteLizzy d
I hope she responds, and responds nicely.
ReplyDeleteI don’t need a reply,
DeleteThe Prof doesn't come off well!
ReplyDeleteI thought his reaction was amusing
DeleteWould he have been more patient if you'd been discussing Oscar Wilde plays?
ReplyDeletelol I doubt it
DeleteSome conversations are so funny to a listener! Remembering the good times and sending good wishes.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteMy son's lovely ex girlfriend wrote me a sweet note and I did not reply out of loyalty to my son. I deeply regret it. I have no way of contacting her now although I heard through a friend that she was doing well. It's some comfort but I still feel ashamed.
ReplyDeleteOld hurts need to be put to bed
DeleteYou are very forgiving, John. Xx
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ReplyDeleteA great memory. Moving past the past, is something we do for ourselves not others.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteI don't have many happy memories of my ex-husband and, of course, sometimes we did get along so there were some good times. I think the many years of my resentments building up just have wiped them out.
ReplyDeleteAnd that is sad
DeleteI can quite imagine the Prof doing just that. :-)
ReplyDeleteKind of a dick move. You were talking to his mum, chatting with her and he disapproved of you and her. I'm glad the memory doesn't hurt anymore.
ReplyDeleteIt was all done in humour
DeleteGolly. Seems really pretentious to me, both the huts and his reaction to that conversation. Well done in sending her a Christmas card. 'Tis the season and you're doing very well for yourself, career, and family.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Not pretentious just rather funny babs
DeleteI fear that might have been an old wound best left closed..... but i'll hope for the best for you... Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteI’m not expecting nor want a rep,y , the sending of the card is my Catharsis
DeleteI hope she appreciates your card and sends one to you. Her son hurt you tremendously, maybe she feels parental guilt and has not communicated because of it.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not a time for analysis
Deletegood one
ReplyDelete