A Handbag!

 A woman in a polished BMW drove into my parking space at Tesco’s in Llandudno Junction at lunchtime. I was waiting patiently for the spot after a dreaded 3 hour fire lecture at work 
And was hoping for a quick get in /get out scenario. 
She was wearing sun glasses too, 
On an overcast day! 
My dander was up
She waved gayly, shrieking insincerity 
That was until I yelled 
“Cheap Outfit !!! ( I couldn’t see her shoes ) 
And as she spun around to argue , I batted in my next insult of “ Goes with yer handbag !” With  gay abandon
Okok I was on thin ice as I was dressed in my useful and terribly over used blue Christmas Jumper, but I thought I’d take the chance
The handbag shot was an aside…but I could tell that it had hit home
as she scrabbled to see which one she had picked up

I will leave you with the adorable lisping choir




8 comments:

  1. Anonymous2:42 pm

    Fire lecture? But was it led by real fire fighters? 🤩 Kath x

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  2. What is it about the season of peace and goodwill, that brings out the selfishness in some? She deserved the cheap handbag jibe. And a three hour fire lecture - I feel your pain! Why was I expecting the lisping choir to be dressed as Santa or elves?🧑‍🎄 xx

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  3. She probably had an urgent appointment with her manicurist or tattoo artist so needed to do a quick Tesco foie gras and oysters shop on the way.

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  4. Haha ... absolutely brilliant. Good for you. xx

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  5. Anonymous3:09 pm

    Can we book you for our nearest Waitrose !! Plenty of targets there !! Xx Bernie

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  6. Anonymous3:24 pm

    Comment for your troll
    DONT YOU FUCKING DARE !!!!

    Lee

    ReplyDelete
  7. Entitled people irritate the shit out of me. Well done John.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You said that your dander was up. What exactly is a "dander"? I hope it's not what I am thinking it might be.

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes