I share my shame with Helen Sharman

 Bloody hell, Jill Archer ( Patricia Green) sounded frail on The Archer’s last night. 
It doesn’t sound like the actress will survive long enough to win the Victoria Sponge at the Flower And Produce show this year, which is sad 

All this Olympic chatter reminds me of the world student games which was held in Sheffield in 1991.
I was one of the 25 thousand capacity audience at the Don Valley Stadium who saw former Astronaut Helen Sharman DROP and EXTINGUISH the flame before reaching the bloody cauldron . 
Oh God she must have felt dreadful ! 
The crowds, as I recall were kind. 
See below Student Games Memory number two!!!


I love embarrassing stories. This one is an old one but I think it's worth repeatingBack in 1991 I was celebrating the multicultural social events organised in Sheffield when the World Student Games were held in the city.

I went with a friend to the Crucible Theatre which was hosting a free night of folk music and dance (in the foyer!)...as usual I was dressed down for the event (t shirt and ripped jeans! - remember the fact I had ripped jeans on)
but as the whole event was very relaxed I kind of blended in!
Anyhow I remember sitting on the steps of the bar looking down at the singers and crowds below..and one guy, who was sitting at a table with some friends caught my eye!
I looked at him.....he looked at me! and suddenly I thought "my lucks in!!!"
Anyhow this game of glances carried on for a while ( I remember the guy looked a little like a bearded Jake Gyllenhall) and I did that half smile and hair toss flirting thing! before I caught sight of him downing his pint then weave his way through the tables to walk to where I was sat up on the stairs!
He leaned over slowly so I could smell his after shave and whispered gently into my ear
"Hey mate...I wanted to tell you that you have a rip in your jeans and one of your b*lls is sticking out!"...he suddenly left and went to sit down again!!
What happened to me?..........well I died .....died in a pool of rancid shame

87 comments:

  1. Jo in Auckland4:28 am

    Hahahaha! What a letdown...but at least someone had the b*lls to tell you.

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    1. Anonymous12:48 pm

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    2. I was so convinced that I’d clicked too jo ☹️

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  2. Oh dear, oh dear. NOT what you wanted to hear. What a balls-up!

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  3. Lizzie6:42 am

    I agree John, Jill archer sounded dreadfully ill 😮

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    1. I don’t think , by the sound of her, that she has an emotional swan song in her, to be recorded which is sad

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  4. Oops! What no undies? Well I guess it's one way to attract attention! xx

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Oh my! I'm dying of second hand embarrassment

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    2. Anonymous12:48 pm

      ho ho ho

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    3. Yes it makes your toes curl

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    4. Anonymous7:16 pm

      Doesn’t it just
      And were you reminded by the drag queens in Paris , he lost a bollock too but that was in front of millions

      Keith

      Xx

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    5. Was at least his was a fabric covered one

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    6. Was at least his was a fabric covered one

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  6. Tracy7:06 am

    It is a good job I had just put my cup of tea down when I read that!

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    Replies
    1. I like a good spurt of coffee in the morning

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  7. Well at least we know you have hanging balls and not tight units.
    To be fair to the torch bearer, the flame shouldn't have fallen out so readily.

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    Replies
    1. We do not know that at all my man !

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  8. Anonymous8:22 am

    Oh oops John, that made me laugh and splutter over my coffee, sorry about your shame but at least you owned it and shared it with us, sometimes it is good to reflect positively. Jan in Castle Gresley

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    Replies
    1. It’s always a good one to recall at dinner parties if I ever went to any

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  9. Ouch x 😳

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    1. Anonymous1:59 pm

      Nobody mentioned it being painful so why the Ouch?

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  10. Ug... Not one of your better pick-ups! I'd like to forget that post, but it's all too vividly replaying itself in my imagination. Not pretty!

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    Replies
    1. Sorry John - no offence meant ... but God didn't do a particularly good job of male anatomy ...

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  11. Ripped jeans and going commando. You are a brave man. Such a shame about Jake Gyllenhall.

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  12. You should have requested his expertise in bollock management x

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    1. https://tenor.com/en-GB/view/amelie-water-splash-swoon-melting-gif-5346882

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    2. Anonymous9:44 pm

      Bollocks are out of my sphere of expertese Mavis

      Lee

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  13. Ah well..at least he was nice enough to warn you!
    Talking of the Archers, do you read Keith Flett's blog...the actor who played Grace has just died, in her 90s... interesting why Grace was written out of the script

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  14. I applaud him.for letting you know,lol.

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  15. Anonymous11:22 am

    Moaning Mavis wins for best reply!!!! :-) Jackie

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  16. Willem Maas11:37 am

    Bought a pair of really lightweight cheesecloth trousers for the hot weather and all was well until while standing in line at the supermarket I realised that they were ripped open at the gusset and my manhood was fully exposed. It was to my good fortune that it was not fully rampant but I was deeply ashamed nevertheless

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous12:39 pm

      Don't buy the trousers from AliExpress.

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  17. In the right crowd, that would have merely enhanced the flirtation.

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    Replies
    1. In Sheffield in1991 it was the end of my life

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    2. Anonymous12:43 pm

      .. I know this is the internet and not exactly real life but I have some respect for you and your ability to make the most of it. O think you were badly treated and yet you have persevered. These people are few

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  18. Well someone noticed. As they say, it pays to advertise.

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    Replies
    1. If I swung them around my head today no one would notice

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    2. Anonymous1:48 am

      LOL....That is untrue. Please do not do that to prove a point. The consequences could be dire.

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  19. Anonymous12:46 pm

    yawn

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  20. Anonymous12:47 pm

    bet you cant wait for that woman to die another funeral for you to attend and enjoy and comment upon

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    1. Anonymous1:14 pm

      sounds like your idea of fun is to find a damp open grave and to lie in it
      Lee xxxxx

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    2. Anonymous1:27 pm

      oh its messed up lee what a jerk off

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  21. I expected something like that might happen when you mentioned the ripped jeans, John! xxoo

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  22. Well...he was kind to tell you, I guess.

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  23. Oh, what a let down. snicker snicker

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  24. Ha! Well, I guess that is a danger with ripped clothing. I knew I didn't like it for some reason.

    I agree with Andrew -- I think the Helen Sharman incident is the fault of the torch designer. Those things should NEVER go out no matter what a person does to them.

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    Replies
    1. If you look at it , after falling, it actually looked like it was filled with charcoal !!!! I was interested to hear the the French Olympic cauldron is light seen through water , no fire involved

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  25. Too funny! Why is it that embarrassment is so funny when it's over?
    I had a young patient a few years ago who told me after I got him in my IV chair, that he had fainted in the past but thought he would be fine today. He said, it was only when the nurse was digging around for his vein that he fainted.
    I started his IV, no problem but before I let him stand up, I asked him, are you going to go down on me?
    I'm sure I turned red and I died a little inside. He was very nice and just chuckled. I'm hard to embarrass but I was so embarrassed that day, I avoided the waiting room until after his scan. But it's a good story:)

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    Replies
    1. Oh my. hee hee thanks for the funny at your expense Pixie.

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    2. Nurses love dirty humour so yours was just right pixie my girl

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  26. Barbara Anne3:21 pm

    Ah, it's good that dying of shame isn't fatal! Great story thoug.

    Hugs!

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    1. I seem to attract embarrassing stories

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  28. She needs to work on her balance.

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    1. I guess she was weightless for many months before the games

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  29. Commando and ripped jeans do have their risks.........

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  30. That made me chuckle! It was kind of him to let you know so discreetly. x

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    Replies
    1. I know and it made a good story lasting 30 years or so lol

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  31. I am sniggering. Honesty and appreciation of your tale-telling demands that I confess I'm sniggering. Not giggling, sniggering.

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  32. No click. Just exposure. That is pretty funny.

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  33. How did he know it was one of your balls? It might have been a scotch egg.

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  34. Anonymous1:46 am

    Asked a young man in a store once where his nuts were! My teenager started giggling and I was so embarrassed! Never have forgotten it! Kathy near Chicago.

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  35. I found a condom while gathering the laundry from my 16 y.o. son's bedroom. It should have been his father's talk and i hated him for not sticking around. Then i thought carefully about what i wanted to make sure he knew and resolutely marched down to the garage where he was working on his truck. I was horrified to hear me say 'before you start having sex i need you to think long and hard...' i could have died.

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  36. Anonymous5:03 pm

    Work from home and earn a respectable $60k a week, which is amazing considering that a year ago I was unemployed in a terrible economy. I always give God praise for honouring me with these rules, and now it’s my duty to practise anticipatory compassion and share it with everyone. Likewise, GOOD LUCK.

    Here is I begun
    ═════►► 𝐖𝐰𝐰.𝐉𝐨𝐢𝐧.𝐏𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝟗.𝐜𝐨𝐦

    ReplyDelete
  37. Anonymous8:40 pm

    I wonder if he tells the same story 🤭

    ReplyDelete
  38. Stubblejumpers Cafe2:40 pm

    I'm laughing -- where is the LIKE button?! LOL
    This entire post was a treat.

    ReplyDelete
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