Going Gently

 I didn’t follow Michael Mosley at all, but like thousands of people was saddened by his death. He seems to have been an all round good guy and his death by natural causes has shocked and surprised many. 

In my experience , people, often behave like animals do at the point of death. They can become agitated and disorientated and often have the urge to hide away on their own . Blood chemicals disarray  , hypoxia and delirium all play their own part in this, but in my view there seems to be something more primeval in play. 

There is often a need for people to be on their own. 
To be away from the sickbed, 
To be alone from the clan .

This phenomenon is well know amongst hospice nurses, who invariably warn relatives of what could happen if vigils are broken, even for the most shortened of times. 
Often families wrap this age old behaviour into some sort of altruistic sparing of their loved ones feelings and I get that totally , but at the end of the day , I sort of understand more the urge to hide away somewhere cool and dark and comforting as the body systems slowly shut down one by one.


93 comments:

  1. I saw that with Pirate. He still held my hand though.

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  2. I have followed the Michael Mosley case very closely. He just wanted to get through the perimeter fence. He was thirty metres from survival. He had made a wrong turn about a mile back - instead of heading to Symi town where he and his wife and friends were staying.

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  3. I was saddened, but also couldn't understand why he went for a walk in that heat. I've read reports that he told friends he felt unwell. Maybe your theory is correct and he wanted to hide away, albeit unknowingly. The only saving grace is that he was found. Some small comfort for his family.

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    1. That’s what I thought , it was his time , and he went out on his own

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    2. As Pud says, he took a wrong turning, was out in the sun for longer than expected, perhaps got disorientated due to the heat. He wasn't aware that he was going to die and it's ridiculous to say that he knew he was and so went out on his own. You're comparing him to hospice patients, which are completely different. He was healthy, he'd had a small stroke some years ago but due to his work he knew his body more than others. The post mortem says he died from natural causes, he didn't know he was going to die and hide away to die.

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    3. It was a talking point jan
      Nothing more

      He also died of natural causes

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    4. Also most people in my experience don’t know they are about to die, but they do know they feel different and unwell

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    5. Read your comment above mine John, you said
      "it was his time and he went out on his own"
      referring to your previous statements about going away to hide.

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    6. I suggested one view .you expressed another , neither of us will know

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    7. Anonymous6:03 am

      My father was on holidays and made a statement that he didn’t think he would go back to work. He died from a heart attack. I truly believe he knew he was unwell.

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  4. Anonymous9:03 pm

    Your comment about it being a primeval act resonated greatly with me

    Lee

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  5. Doctors can predict the approximate year of death even to the seemingly healthy - my Dr did to my horror x

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  6. As cats go away to die.

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    1. Anonymous6:05 am

      Yes .. there is something very suspicious in why a person would go for a walk in 40degree heat after making a statement that he was not feeling well .. and left his phone behind.

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  7. When my 99 year old uncle died in hospice in his own home with 24/7 carers, the Hospice nurse said he is waiting for me to come to his bedside so he can die. And he did exactly that. The Hospice nurse told me some people in her care want someone near and other people wait until family steps away and then die, choosing to be alone. I've experienced both cases.

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  8. You are so right. We are animals and animals very often crawl off to die privately, on their own. Some people seem most at peace with family members at the bedside, but certainly not all.

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  9. Consciously or unconsciously he knew something was happening. My sister checked on my father at 6:30, and fell asleep in a chair next to his bed, I checked on him just before 7:00 and he was gone. I didn't even notice my sister sleeping in the room.

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  10. I am not familiar with him, but your post raises an interesting scenario. I know there can be an awareness that defies explanation.

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    1. Exactly
      Too much drama in blogland tonight
      I will be deleting the blog next

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  11. Anonymous12:42 am

    Like Susan, I have seen both. My Mother waited for all three of her daughters to arrive before she died. My sister, in hospice, waited until all family members were out of her room. - Jackie

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    1. I’ve seen plenty of relatives give permission to their loved ones to go , and they did

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  12. There is that animal instinct in us I think and have heard of this. It's interesting what you describe of experiences at the hospice and I agree so much with that last sentence.

    I have been unable to understand why Michael Mosley would set off like that in vicious midday heat without a mobile in an unfamiliar area. If he felt unwell then it seems even stranger. It's just tragic that he was so near to help in the end and I feel so sorry for his poor family.

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    1. The party had got to a remote beach by water taxi. It would not return until 4pm. The walk back to Symi town should not have been too tricky but in the fishing village of Pedi he took a wrong turn over a rocky headland in searing heat.

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    2. Thank you for clarifying thIS YP

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    3. Yes, that does help me to understand the situation a bit more. I remember having the option of one of those beach drop off days when on an "all inclusive" holiday somewhere and not feeling comfortable with being unable to leave when I wanted to, rather than being picked up at a certain time. But then I'm not really one for laying on the beach for too long and maybe not one for arranged outings on holiday. Thank you

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  13. I took 'natural causes' to mean that he died of a natural body function like heat stroke rather than something deliberate like an attack

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  14. He sermed a nice, caring and clever man, who devoted his time to educating us all on making us healthier. I feel sad that he died alone, but am glad he was found. He will be missed by so many.

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  15. I have known two cases of continual vigil broken only by a loo break - and that's when the patient died.

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  16. It's sad for sure, he was a good guy.

    My Gran hung on until every single surviving member of her family had managed to visit her over the course of a couple of days, and then quietly died on her own the night of the final visit.

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  17. My FIL waited until everyone was with him at the hospice home, and promptly died. There were some in the room that didn't even know he'd died, it was so quiet and quick.

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  18. With regard to actual moment of death, I expect these various tales of contradictory timings are all due to coincidence. Some people will die with others in the room and some won't, so there will be anecdotes that will fit any scenario.

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    1. No I disagree Andrew and I’ve been in the room many hundreds of times

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  19. Anonymous11:45 am

    I am totally with you on this. I know I want to be outside and to quietly slip away by myself. Jean in Winnipeg

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  20. In a recent interview Dr Mosley said something that I had heard him say many times before - that he did not want to die 'early' as his own father had done. His father was 74 when he died, Michael Mosley 67. Despite having stayed on the island before, I believe he simply took a wrong turn, ran out of water, and was heading for the sea and for people who could help him. He was so close.

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    1. My point was for discussion only and not a definitive explanation of what actually happened…who knows
      I noted it said he felt unwell before he set off, sometimes people do want to be alone when serious ill ….it was only a general discussion

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  21. I know nothing of death but I know that a birthing woman will instinctively find a small, private space and a position which facilitates baby's progress.
    And none of it is concious.
    I think it's entirely possible that forces he didn't understand drove Michael on his last walk

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    1. Kylie
      That’s interesting as I see myself and my nursing colleagues as palliative care Doula’s

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    2. The way you accompany your patients is absolutely the work of a doula but you also have technical/ medical understanding I don't have

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  22. I am certain that my mother waited until I had left her before she died. I had told nurses that I would go at a certain time and actually left a few minutes early. When they checked in on her at the time I was due to leave she had died.

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  23. Like you mentioned, I think it was his time. Still sad, tho.

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  24. Anonymous1:13 pm

    Michael Mosley 's death and the circumstances around it have certainly made a lot of folk think ( me included )
    Apparently fit, relaxing on holiday, not old .........
    I like the piece you wrote John, thought provoking too.
    Alison in Wales x

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    1. Yes thank you, I wanted it to be thought provoking , not provocative

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  25. Barbara Anne1:34 pm

    It is sad when good people are gone. Brilliant writing, John, and so true.

    My Dad waited for me to arrive from out of town.

    Hugs!

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  26. Yorkshire Liz1:42 pm

    We will never know Dr Mosley's thoughts or instincts on this, just that the publicity surrounding his disappearance and death has made everyone think, and take it as a palpable warning. Many animals go off to die alone, and many people prefer to be alone too.
    My grandfather waited until I stepped out of the room for a moment to go to the loo as I sat in vigil with him; when my husband died - after I spent the night with him in hospital - we had been talking when our daughter texted to say she would be with us in minutes, she was just putting coins into the car park machine and would be with us in two minutes. I passed on the news, and our conversation lapsed as we waited for her. When she opened the door the first thing she said was: "he's gone without me." He had died immediately after I spoke, and so quietly even though I was sitting next to his head I did not know. He had simply not wanted out daughter to be there and see. The act of dying is a mysterious and highly personal adventure.

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    1. Your last sentence summed up my post for me
      “ The act of dying is a mysterious and highly personal adventure”

      Beautifully put xx

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  27. I understand that impulse too, on a primeval level. Mosley's case is especially tragic, though, because I think he was trying to get help and just didn't make it.

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    1. The primeval level fascinates me .many patients can be totally unresponsive and nearing death when a voice or something familiar lifts them

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  28. CCTV shows him at the top of the rocky slope stumbling about and turning one way then another. Disorientated because of heatstroke. He didn't know that he was about to die and didn't hide away, he had stopped at several points on the way down alongside the fence, but there were no openings.

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    1. Please don't say any more.

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    2. It would seem that jan’s need to be right is more important than others’ feelings.

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    3. Anonymous5:21 pm

      You're wrong John but perhaps you don't want to admit it, you inferred that he was going away to hide as he knew he was about to die. This isn't true and I stated the known facts in order to point that out to you. These are known facts from CCTV footage.
      To infer that he was leaving his family in order to hide away and die is incredibly hurtful to his family. Obviously the right thing for you is to amend what you said but I guess that's not likely to happen after your comment "Jan's need to be right is more important than others feelings."
      You have chosen to put me in the wrong.

      Flis, my comment was to John, not to you. However anything that I have written can be heard on the BBC news.


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    4. Anonymous5:23 pm

      I omitted to leave my name : Jan

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    5. Is this the same Jan that has been hounding me for a long time? Quoting from the BBC news, ha ha, that's a joke. Everything they say has been bought and paid for by the globalist cult.

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    6. My original point was a discussion point and as usually jan has missed the nuances of a conversation
      To say and I quote “ To infer that he was leaving his family in order to hide away and die is incredibly hurtful to his family. ”
      Is a stupid, and a usual “ concrete” way of looking at things
      I discussed the need to hide away as a primeval urge, ie one that is “beyond thought” something innate

      Please look up the dictionary usage of those words

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    7. Ps “ jan” my arse

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    8. Anonymous3:57 pm

      YOUR arse? Hell no, I can't think of anything worse. Who knows where it's been.

      However it was a typical response from you whenever you can't admit you're wrong.

      I'm not surprised you're disliked by some of the villagers (as you've said yourself) as not everybody likes a holier than thou attitude.

      And now, goodbye, really had enough of you! attractive.

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  29. It is interesting how the death of someone people didn’t know can bring out some of these comments.

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    1. Absolutely , I’m somewhat speechless at a few

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  30. Anonymous5:12 pm

    As a long time nurse I have seen patients that appear to be hanging on at the end for 'some one' to arrive at the bedside. Then again I have seen patients that have a rota of relative by their bedside, never alone. The the odd minute someone pops to the toilet or for a cigarette, they die. Some people need company and some need to be alone.

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    1. Yes, I know the same situations , I just wanted to discuss them

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  31. Perhaps many commenters are not aware that Michael Mosley's wife is a GP. I doubt she would have happily waved him off to walk back to the home of their hosts had he been displaying any stange symptoms. CCTV and maps make it clear what happened, and it is not at all the same as the elderly or terminally ill choosing their time to slip away. The 'discussion' seems to be totally at cross purposes.

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    1. Anonymous6:50 pm

      I completely agree veg artist. Sometimes just the opening line - 'I didn't follow Michael Moseley at all' would have been quite enough.
      He wasn't a terminally ill patient - just a man in his '60's - much like this author - who decided to walk back to their holiday house in the heat of the midday sun.
      Most people would have shaken their head at the illogical decision and wondered what was going on, but to compare his shockingly rapid decline and death with someone pumped full of drugs in a hospice is quite frankly insensitive.

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    2. Anonymous8:21 pm

      Jesus H Christ ! There’s more than one of them!
      Insensitive?
      Total bullshit lady
      John was discussing a subject he knows about very well and although his thoughts and ideas are no more wrong or right than anyone else’s, he has an interesting point to make
      Arguing a point that really doesn’t need it is like pissing against the wind

      Pointless

      Lee

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    3. Oh Lee you make me laugh, you’ve said it better than I could ever.
      Are you related to Mavis ?

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    4. Anon , I only left your comment I deleted because of the humour of lee’s barb

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    5. Anonymous9:40 pm

      Attaboy xx

      Lee

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    6. Anonymous11:50 pm

      This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  32. From what I read of Mosley's death he was out on a steep hill in the heat of the noonday sun and had taken a wrong turn before falling. One can't help wondering if he was affected by dehydration, over-heating and exhaustion.

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    1. Or another natural death, such as a cardiac episode or stroke

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  33. Jo in Auckland7:04 pm

    I have followed Michael Mosley for several years now; his education in the medical field was remarkable. He came across as a very approachable and funny man. He also became a voice in my head after reading his books on intermittent fasting which I followed with great success. I learned how to read my body and I put it all down to his teachings. I was incredibly sad to hear that he was missing and was hoping for a much much better outcome to this. As I am aware he went for a walk appearing not to have even a water bottle with him in 35 degree plus heat although he did have an umbrella, to get lost and then be so close to where he needed to be but succumb to the heat is a tragedy in itself. I feel so for his Dr wife and family.

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    1. I heard he felt unwell before his walk . I like his work on diabetes , read his ideas only this afternoon

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  34. Traveller7:14 pm

    Some of the comments on this blog have taken a strange turn. The way I read the post was John was reflecting on the deaths he has seen. I found the post interesting as it is alien to me.

    Thank you to the nurses who have commented, it has added to my understanding of death - whilst I have experienced the death of loved ones, I haven’t been in physical proximity when it happened.

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    1. Thank you traveller, I was musing about behaviour I have seen often at the end of life. I wasn’t writing to argue any point in particular lol

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    2. Traveller9:41 pm

      I really do appreciate it when you write about your experience with end of life. As I said I have no experience with it but know I have a 50:50 chance that it will happen in the future. it will be me or my partner thus 50:50. I find your insights thought provoking.

      PS would be a few excellent chapters in a book!
      PPS as someone else wrote does new cat flap = a feline to join the cottage?
      PPPS I miss Albert

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    3. I miss him too
      Pps I’ve made strides today to review a next bulldog

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    4. Traveller8:34 pm

      Now that is exciting news that I nearly missed among some really weird comments here.

      PS rather fancying Lee!

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    5. She has emailed me some delightfully rude emails, and reminds me of Miriam Margolyes
      Sans filter lol…

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  35. All “ new” named commentators repeating the argument will be deleted

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  36. Anonymous10:40 pm

    Fucking amen

    Lee

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  37. People simply dumbfound me sometimes. How a simple reflection can spark such outrage is the craziest thing. I will never understand it.

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  38. Am so happy to read that you are thinking of a new bulldog! It would probably be so good for the dogs too.

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  39. It’s water now off a ducks back

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes