Emotionally speaking it’s been a bit of a rollercoaster ride over the past two weeks..ever since a blogger insulted me on line, only removing the insult when challenged by a third party. The internet allows for such behaviour .
Such words would never be verbalised if I was stood there in person and the whole thing strangely upset me. Work has been challenging at times . I’ve had to pass an interview and essays too
It’s all been a bit h e a v y .
The antibiotics I’ve been prescribed have made me intermittently nauseous but have reduced most of the soft tissue infection in my face. However my glands remain swollen and painful, and I’m self conscious and down about how I look.
I still have my effing cold too.
Dorothy last night with me on the sofa she’d just shared a frankfurter sausage !
And of course Dorothy died early this morning
I’m relieved she won’t have to linger any more and was grateful for having time to spend with her on the couch over the weekend with the fire lit warmly.it was her time and I’m glad.
At the end she looked a little worried but hid her head under my chin as I told her to be a brave girl. She snapped at the others so as usual it was only me and her against the world.
The last smell she smelled was me,
the last voice she heard was mine
In the five years since she came to me, she’s always been such a scared girl at times
But not scared anymore.
I’m going to the cinema later.
The place that makes me better.
John, so sorry to hear about Dorothy. I'm glad for the time you had together. Janet.
ReplyDeleteIm so sorry for your loss of beloved Dorothy. My heart is sad for the soul and spirit of the beautiful girl she was and always will be xxxx
ReplyDeleteSending the warmest hugs. I'm glad she was able to be with you, her best friend at the end. You gave her the best life and you should be proud of that. Be gentle with yourself. RIP Dorothy. xx
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this John.
ReplyDeleteShe was always a scared girl but she found her safe space in your home and in your arms. I'm glad you had this last special weekend together.
Sending all my love. xx
So sad about Dorothy and a beautiful end for her being with you. Take time to heal yourself and get back to full health, remember you are the most important thing in your life 🙏. Jan in Castle Gresley
ReplyDeleteR.I.P. Dorothy. A good way to go, dreaming of her last small fish with half the batter removed and of her last frankfurter.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry John, my thoughts are with you. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeletetous nos animaux de compagnie devraient avoir une mort douce comme Dorothy..tout mon amitie John
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry to read this. Take care of yourself ~ love Ro (n.w.Italy)
ReplyDeleteEchoing what so many other people have written and will write. You have given dear Dorothy the best of love and life. Now take care of you. Josie
ReplyDeleteYou have had a lot to cope with recently.Dorothy was struggling,too.You made sure her life was as pleasant as possible -in so many ways...You are a good man,may things get progressively easier for you , xx-Mary
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice way for Dorothy to spend her last days, with love and comfort. I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care. xx
ReplyDeleteYou have been the best thing that could have happened to her, with added sausages. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry John. Shedding tears for a sweet little bulldog who touched so many hearts. Thoughts are with you, Mary & Roger. So glad you were together at the end. Sweet dreams Dorothy xx
ReplyDeleteShe died in the arms of her favourite human, feeling loved and comforted. What better way to go? Hope your cold goes soon, the face continues to heal and the cinema takes your mind off things for a couple of hours. x
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about Dorothy, - have loved reading about her these last five years, a character indeed
ReplyDeleteSending you so much love John. Sleep well Dorothy, you were so loved by many who never met you in person <3 xxx
ReplyDeleteOh John, I'm so sorry about Dorothy, but relieved that she had a peaceful ending. Wrapped in her Dad's arms, hearing nothing but loving words, she couldn't have had better.
ReplyDeleteShe had a wonderful life with you and her fur family, loving and being loved, now it's time for her to rest. XXX
A gentle goodbye ....
ReplyDeleteIm not sorry for her , it was her time and i know you get that.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing John
Lee
Bless her dear heart 💗 If Dorothy could talk I'm sure this would be her wish xx 💞
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss. Sweet Dorothy was lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Dorothy's end was peaceful and surrounded by love. It's the ending we wish for us all. It seems to have been a challenging couple of weeks for you and probably your cold and even maybe your face blemish is all down to the stress. To miss-quote Bette 'it's been a bumpy night', but soon the dawn will break. xx
ReplyDeleteDorothy was a gift in your life John Gray, as you were in hers XX
ReplyDeleteSending love xx
ReplyDeleteNow I'm crying. She was blessed, as were you. ♥
ReplyDeleteYou write so beautifully. I think we're all in tears.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry John. Rest peacefully sweet Dorothy you certainly captured lots of hearts x
ReplyDeleteJohn, dear one, Dorothy has gone 'gently into that goodnight' - how perfect that you didn't have to make the decision for her with a vet's injection. I am so glad that her eding was in the place she most in the world. Now she is at peace - now you must cocentrate on getting yourself well again, Plenty of good food, all your village friends around you (they'll feel her death too) and some good night's sleep. Rest in peace dear old Dotty - you have enhanced one another's lives during the years you have been together Roger and Mary will miss her too. x
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said Pat. xx
DeleteOh John, sweet Dorothy is as you said, no longer scared. You were the best Dad for her. Peace to you.
ReplyDeleteThey break your heart. You gave a wonderful five years. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteWatched American Fiction last night - would recommend if you haven’t seen it
We are so sorry to read this John and are shedding tears too. She had a wonderful life with you. Weaver said it all so perfectly.
ReplyDeleteWendy (Wales)
Sending love, it hurts so much, we lost Purdy our younger cat last Thursday, they leave a huge hole.
ReplyDeleteYou gave Dorothy the best life and the best going party weekend, then cuddled up with her daddy at the end. I’m in tears now. Look after yourself John. XX gigi
ReplyDelete"time to spend with her on the couch over the weekend with the fire lit warmly.it was her time and I’m glad."
ReplyDeleteAnd what more could either of you have asked for. She was loved. Hugs to you my dear.
Adding my condolences about Dorothy. You and she were lucky to have had each other, and you gave her the best care possible. I hope you are able to do the same for yourself as you continue to heal.
ReplyDeleteNina
I am very sorry, John. x
ReplyDeleteSo sorry John but glad she didn’t go in pain or fear. , but with you close. hugs. Hope your face will continue to improve.
ReplyDeleteNot anonymous.. Frances. Doing it on my phone!
DeleteYou did well, John; Dorothy will rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteSad to read this John but you made her last couple of days as happy for her as possible. Thoughts are with you. Heather
ReplyDeleteOh John....you gave her love in spoonfuls and she wasn't alone...sending hugs x
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about Dorothy but glad you were there to love and comfort her over the last few days. Take care xx
ReplyDeleteWish we were all there for much needed huggs. Take care,
ReplyDeleteThis was the news I was dreading but I am glad her suffering is over and that you were there with her....for her and you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry that Dorothy has gone. You gave her a wonderful five years full of love, companionship and yummy treats. What a rough time you've had recently -- may things improve soon.
ReplyDeleteI hope the cinema works her magic for you. You deserve a great film and a good rest
ReplyDeleteDorothy ended her life in the very best hospice at home xo
So sorry for your loss....it is so hard to recover....they are such a part of our lives.
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry for your loss..it’s simply devastating to lose a pet. I hope you feel better physically too….you are well loved here online…
ReplyDeleteIt is just the saddest time when a pet dies .... it really gets to you doesn't it ? I couldn't believe how devastated I was when ours died. An older friend told me she has cried more over her pets than some people !!! Wishing you more happier times for 2024 John which there will be. sending lots of love. XXXX
ReplyDeletexo
ReplyDeleteJohn, we are feeling your pain this morning. Probably most of us have had the experience of losing a beloved pet. It is so hard to accept. Sending you love.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to read that Dorothy has died, but also glad that she has had such an amazing full loved life with you. I like many other readers have enjoyed reading about Dorothy, what a wonderful unforgettable character to have been part of your life. I wish you good times in the future on your new counselling path. I hope the cinema was good. My first film was an old showing of Beau Geste in the village hall, and I’ve loved going to the movies ever since. Jean in Winnipeg.
ReplyDeleteRest in peace, dear Dorothy -- and may your memory be a blessing to John and all those who loved you, and love him.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. She had the best “dad” and touched many hearts. Sending love & hugs. WI Dee
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry John. Holding you in my heart right now. X
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for your loss John, it's so hard when they leave us. Take care xx
ReplyDeleteA sad but not unhappy end...glad for you both that you were together.
ReplyDeleteTalk to those who knew and loved her in your village.
That was my doctor's prescription when I lost Mountain Man. Doing them good as well as yourself. It worked
((((hugs))))
Massive condolences to you, JayGee. We knew it had to come but nevertheless it still hurts like hell. Poor girl, but it couldn't have happened in a better way. Thank you so much for being there for your with your comforts and presence for her - and thank YOU Dot for just being. Rest in Peace.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I’ve followed your blog for many years, so sorry about Doro .
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad to hear about Dorothy, it's heartbreaking when we lose our pets. She had your love and care over those years, and I'm so glad she was with you when she died. It's clear that she loved you too.
ReplyDeleteI cried when I read it, I feel your pain, I know what it's like to lose our dearly loved pets. You gave her a safe and wonderful life, and will never forget your special times together. Hugs.
Jean.
Oh John I am so sorry. It was good that you were together at the end and she was so well loved. I so feel for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are not self serving you share
ReplyDeleteIndeed John you share too much of yourself, that heart is always on that sleeve.
Thank you for sharing your warm and you sad life experiences .
You do it with a natural warmth which is lacking in most of the others I follow.
That’s why I come back
Keith
Xx
You gave her a good life and a good death. May we all know such love.
ReplyDeleteI am heartbroken for you. x
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about Dorothy but she had a great life while she was yours and was very loved. Sending much love to you. Heather
ReplyDeleteDear John - her end was peace and she was so loved......all that we hope for at the end for us and our loved ones.
ReplyDeleteHugs x
Alison in Wales x
Sending hugs, John. xx
ReplyDeleteYou did her proud John, loved until the end. Love to you, Jan Bx
ReplyDeleteRest in Peace, dear Dorothy. Having had a scared little dog myself, I'd always had a really soft spot for her and was happy that she came to someone who understood and accepted her for who she was. She was so lucky to have chosen you. You must be bereft and heart hurts for you. Sending you a comforting hug.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that you were Dorothy’s human .
ReplyDeleteSiobhan x
She was so loved. She will be so missed. I wish I had better words to give but sometimes there are none.
ReplyDeleteYou gave her a good life. You gave her a good death. My condolences. This is a heart breaking time.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry,
ReplyDeleteJackie
Bless you for the love and attention that you gave her, all the way through to the end. I am truly sorry for your loss. Ranee (MN) USA
ReplyDeleteI am sad for your loss of Dorothy, John......but what a time you both have had together........what a gentle end. Susan M/ Calif.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. May you in time find comfort in memories of dear Dorothy and your good life together. You gave her so much care and attention in her final days. We will miss her.
ReplyDeletelove
lizzy
Sending love and comfort to you and wishing you peace. Thank you for being so good to your pets.
ReplyDeleteHeartfelt sympathy, John. My heart breaks for you. Xx
ReplyDeleteJohn, Your kindness to your pets and how you express your feelings towards them goes further than you may realize. I find it tempers my impatience with the challenges I have with my own dog, so she by way of , transference is it? , gets benefit of your love of yours.
ReplyDeleteFunny world.
So sorry to read of this but knew that it had to come. The passing over Rainbow Bridge is never welcome, for those left behind. At least it was full of love and peaceful. RIP little lady Dorothy thank you for your presence, the love you gave and the memories made. John hugs, you gave love where it was needed most - how could you do any other. Now time to look after you first and Mary and Roger. Give some of the kindness you freely give to those in need to you for a little while. Enjoy the time at the Cinema, the alone time to lose yourself and distract yourself so that you can process in your own time. Thank you for being you and being so kind. Hugs Tricia (Pattypan) x
ReplyDeleteWith her dad at the end, well done for being such a good guy x
ReplyDeleteAhhhh, John....I have no words, but am sending you all the love in my heart right now. x
ReplyDeleteShe is with Winnie and Albert and all your other beloved pets ..they leave a legacy of love .Bra straps up and onward now sweetheart xx
ReplyDeleteJohn, I am so sorry. Knowing that it was coming doesn't make it any easier. I'm glad she spent her last moments snuggled up with you.
ReplyDeleteSorry about losing Dorothy. I'm happy you two had a last cuddle on the couch, and shared a last sausage. Far better than in a vet's office with injections. You gave her a good last 5 years. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get over your cold and infection soon.
Condolences on the passing of Miss Dorothy. Glad you were able to spend her last days with her. We will all miss her. Jen
ReplyDeleteYou know all these troubles and hassles and sadnesses only come in waves so you have no option but to just cope and deal with them all at the same time and push through them, because if they came as single spies, the effort and stress would defeat you.
ReplyDeleteI am so sad to hear of Dorothy, but she went in the gentlest way for you both, with a frankfurter rather than a rubber chicken this time, eh? So now concentrate on you for a change, and get yourself well again. This is never a good time of year, but spring is just around the corner. God bless
so sorry
ReplyDeleteMy deepest condolences to you, John dear. I hope the cinema lifts your spirit, and you feel better emotionally & physically. Be kind to yourself.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about Dorothy but so pleased you were with her at the end. She has touched our hearts through your stories. Look after yourself and the rest of your fur babies. xx
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your family of friends and animals who mourn the loss of Dorothy.
ReplyDeleteBonnie in Minneapolis
I am so glad you were able to be with her 'til the end. What better way to go than feeling the love and warmth of your favorite person on earth. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you for loving her. Godspeed sweet girl. ~Jo
ReplyDeleteSweet Dorothy - may she rest in peace with all the bulldogs gone ahead. I recall when she moved into the cottage - and it's hard to imagine that was five years ago. But long enough for her to be blessed with a good life alongside other much loved animals and you John. . . . . . . the best 'dad' she could ever have.
ReplyDeleteTake care of you now - be well - be brave.
We are all thinking of you.
Mary in NC (I think my comments are posting again after the hiccup)
I follow you on Facebook and the support you are getting from your “ real” friends is a testament to how much you are liked
ReplyDeleteAmanda R
Sorry seems inadequate, John, but know that you are very much in my thoughts today . Shelly xxx
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry for your loss, but thankful the she had so much love in her life and a peaceful passing. Take care of yourself. Robin in Nebraska
ReplyDeleteRIP sweet Dorothy. Take care John. Try to embrace the good things...You got the job and that is to be celebrated. As for nasty trolls online, give them no heed. Their only wish is to upset you and when you get upset they feel they have accomplished what they wanted. Try to not give them the satisfaction.
ReplyDeleteSad news. Look after yourself and the Welsh.The cottage is going to see empty.
ReplyDeleteMy condolences John. I know nothing I can say will make you feel any better but I'm sad for you and send you all my best wishes.
ReplyDeleteSending you love, John the Dogs...
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxo
Elizabeth
so sad to read about your dear Dorothy but so glad of the time you and those who loved her had for loving goodbyes Jane xx
ReplyDeleteA peaceful end is what we all wish for, isn't it? So sorry for your loss, John. xx
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss , sending you my love.Yael
ReplyDeleteDo sorry John - she was a beautiful soul and lucky to have you. The only thing wrong with owning pets is that our time with them is too short.
ReplyDeleteA peaceful passing, we all hope to have one. So sorry for your loss, John, she had a good life with you. Do take comfort in that.
ReplyDeleteSo many hugs and so much love coming your way including blessings for Dorothy and love for Roger and Mary.
ReplyDeleteHer passing with her head under your chin seems so fitting, she was a brave girl in her favourite humans arms. R.I.P Dorothy and much love and hugs to you John and the other furbabies.
ReplyDeleteDeepest sympathy and empathy, John. as I undstand the heartbreak and sense of loss. Thanks be that Dorothy found yu and the back and had 5 years of love, safety, companionship, Albert, and you - not to forget safety, kindness, and good food.
ReplyDeleteBig hugs, my friend
Oh John, huge hugs. She went far too soon, but at least she had you with her and she was at home, and knew she was cherished. We have just lost our oldest cat, but he was about 18 and went with a stroke. Sad, but it was his time. She's with Albert now.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, she did seem to have had the sort of end we would all like for our pets and ourselves.
ReplyDeleteHugs xxx
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for your loss. Stay strong. Big hugs Dxx
ReplyDeleteI always read your posts but don't comment. I'm very sorry about your loss.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
So sorry John x
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. Your post brought tears to my eyes. One of the only faults that dogs have, in my mind, is that their life span is too short. xo
ReplyDeleteThinking of you with a heavy heart- another time of sorrow and loss for y ou but what a beautiful, loving end for Dorothy. Sure hope you found a flick that took you away from the sadness, even for a short time. Lini from Petaluma
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. Dorothy was a fine girl.
ReplyDelete❤️
DeleteI haven’t got the time to answer your comments , but be assured ive read each one and have been moved by them all. Dorothy touched trendy carol and her hubby as well as me and I want to celebrate them in all this,:without them , I couldn’t have looked after ANY dogs and their distress today was awful to see….
ReplyDeleteOh John, I grieve with you. She touched all of us who read of your kindness to her, transforming her into the loving and trusting dog she was, and accepting her for herself, limitations and all. Hugs and wishes for your restoration to full health. I reckon you need to treat yourself - healthy, vitamin packed, exotic stuff... and CHOCOLATE!! XX
ReplyDeleteVirginia , I don’t do chocolate but i do comfort food. But I’m not doing that today xx
Deletethinking of you xx
ReplyDeleteSo sorry ! My thoughts for you and Dorothy's care givers.
ReplyDeleteLinda from Alabama
Oh, I’m so very sorry about Dorothy. She was well loved by you. I hope your illness goes away quickly and you get to do something that will bring you joy. Lynn, New Mexico, USA
ReplyDeleteVery sorry to hear about Dorothy.
ReplyDeleteSo loved and so very cared for. Hope that you are okay. Take care of yourself.
So sorry to hear about Dorothy, I’m glad she got to go with you holding her and giving her peace xx Lynda
ReplyDeleteYou're the only blogger that time after time has brought me to tears. I am so invested in you and your pets. Grieving along with you at the loss of Dorothy.
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry for your loss. Dorothy’s world was made a better place when she was chosen by you. You leaned in with patience and warmth xx
ReplyDeleteJust cried reading this. I’m so sorry, but I’m glad you were a team right up until the end, sending love x
ReplyDeleteSo sad with you about Dorothy
ReplyDeleteIt seems I've said it so often, but sorry John. I hope whatever you see at the cinema is bright and gay.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry and so thankful she had her last five years with you.🫂
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. But it touched my heart that her last smell and voice was yours.
ReplyDeleteMy sympathy to you and your friends who took such good care of Dorothy. Kathy near Chicago Il
ReplyDeleteI truly do not know how you do it John, knowing how short lived bulldogs live. My grandmother loved bulldogs. She used to have a little cement statue in her garden of one. One thing is for sure. Yours have all lived the best lives ever. Take care my friend. Sending love and condolences for sweet Dorothy. Galestorm
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about Dorothy. Pets = Family. Losing one can be horrendous.
ReplyDeleteNo words, just love and light sent your direction.
ReplyDeleteSending you love and hugs. Our fur babies leave huge holes in our hearts.🤗😘💖xxx
ReplyDeleteVery sorry to hear about Dorothy.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about Dorothy very sad news, my thoughts are with you (Sandy from mid wales )
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice way to die. It’s what we all want in the end I think. It’s the ones left behind who are dealing with grief. Hugs❤️
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry, John. All the best, Carol
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry to read this John 😢 be kind to yourself and thinking of you. Louise (Mids) X x
ReplyDeleteYou were a tremendous gift to Dorothy and she was to you. You always have a bit of my heart. (Screw the trolls.) I hope you’re feeling much better soon. What a time this has been.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss John; thinking of you and sending some hugs. xx
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry John. Those words never seem enough in times like these. It was good for you both that you were able to have that time together. Just you and her. My heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself and I hope you get well soon. Although it will probably take a bit more time for your heart to heal. Hugs from across the pond.
ReplyDeleteAww John x
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to read this, John. Sending love. Xx
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you both. Rod from Surfers Paradise, Australia.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry to hear the sad news about Dorothy. She will be so missed by us all.
ReplyDeleteApologies for the delay in sending condolences - Google has been blocking me out.