Keyboard Warriors



It’s still very warm and dry.
The field grass is tinged with yellow and the roses in the front garden are fully in bloom.
Around six  we had the threat of a storm  but nothing moved past the rumble of thunder until almost seven when it rained without lightening. 
The thunder grumbled on until almost 8pm

I’m watching Barry Manilow at the BBC 

I’m doing another overtime shift tomorrow afternoon.
All monies are going to my counselling fund.

I’d like to think that blogger is frequented by older internet users.
People that have learned to play nice for the most part.
As we all know that’s not always the case. 
Earlier someone complained there were too many videos posted on Going Gently …fair point , but felt the need to add a petulant and negative so I didn’t watch any

Most bloggers I have physically met have proved to be delightful characters. Indeed only a couple of weeks ago, I met up with Libby and had a lovely time, over a gin and tonic, mutually shared information from the written word expanded into the verbal where it becomes real and tactile.
I’ve had friendships with bloggers which  have proved disappointing and I’m now a firm believer that much of this kind of phenomenon is an example of Over familiarity breeds contempt .

Blog friends often turn up daily, feel that they know you and in extreme cases feel that they can say anything to you that in real life they would never say to the face of an enemy let alone a friend.
A little while ago a commentator informed me that I disgusted them. Then they used personal insults to support a view they neither had personal  experience of  or practical facts about. 
It’s a common phenomenon seen with online interactions , akin to road rage.

Another blog follower once referred to me in a comment with such venom and rudeness that I was shocked to my core. At 60 I think I’ve had a good 55 years experience of making friends and during that time had never been spoken to in such a way. 
I cut all contact there and then.
I would not let my best friends talk to me like that, let alone someone who had never met me

Without the nuances, parameters and reality of physically meeting up, proper friendships on line I feel are rare.
Which is sad, as is the bile which is unleashed from faceless and angry people 
Keyboard warriors 
Fuck em


78 comments:

  1. Anonymous7:15 pm

    Really enjoyed our drink together… we’ll do it again ..LibsX

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    Replies
    1. It was lovely to see you my friend xxx

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  2. There are a***holes everywhere, but unfortunately, the internet allows them to spit their venom anonymously and remotely. Why they waste their time, and what they get out of it, I can't fathom. Anyway, I hope we get some rain soon. My garden is looking very sad. Hope the UTI is under control again. xx

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    1. It’s fine, I’ve had the tweet yesterday and I know what to do about it
      I’m a little tired of the constant drip drip of arseholes lol

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    2. I could have phrased that better lol

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    3. Anonymous8:18 pm

      So so funny

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    4. Just re-read it and am now giggling at the drip drip dripping arseholes! xx

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  3. I hope the good, outweighs the ugly. We enjoy having you in our world.

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  4. At aged 11 years of age I was to experience a bully - and have been plagued ever since - in various forms - quite disturbingly trying to sidestep real life trolls who have focused their troubled selves in my direction x

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    Replies
    1. Say nothing and “smile and glide” in blogland flis x

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  5. Anonymous8:14 pm

    This line says it all, John "Blog friends often turn up daily, feel that they know you and in extreme cases feel that they can say anything to you that in real life they would never say to the face of an enemy let alone a friend." As much as I enjoy social media I must say this is the biggest negative. I see it in so many places and it makes me sad. I don't know the answer but I do know my online friends are as important to me as my in-person friends. In my lifetime (65 years) I have moved many times and have stayed in contact with friends all over the world. To me it is no different. A friend is a friend - period - and I consider you one of mine. Let me know if you want another tee shirt from Georgia - walking dead? Jackie

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    1. I would love one Jackie xx and you have just made me smile x

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    2. Anonymous1:25 am

      So glad I made you smile. Watch your mail :-)

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  6. Yes, your comment about "road rage" is spot on. I have also had experience of online behaviour that you would hope would not be expressed face-to-face. It's not that face-to-fact rudeness doesn't exist but it is rarer I think.

    Anyway, your blog is a favourite of mine, and has been for more years than either of us would care to admit to.

    Oh, and a belated happy birthday! We share the same day but I'm a couple of years older.

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    Replies
    1. Graham , thank you for your kind words
      I guess in 20 years time and after much audit and research we will have a clearer picture of the “ psychi” of the net in general

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  7. As you say, some people think it's okay to be as rude and nasty as they like online, and normal tact and consideration doesn't apply. You're right that the only thing to do is cut off all contact, because their behaviour is highly unlikely to change.

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    Replies
    1. I miss my “ friend” that’s the downside . But you are right

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  8. Something about hiding behind a keyboard gives cowardly pussies some sort of power in their own eyes. How sad and unfortunate for us decent bloggers.

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  9. Traveller8:43 pm

    Interesting JG - funny was talking to my partner earlier about “friendship” and what that meant. We then talked about love and what that meant.

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    Replies
    1. Friendship , over all is respectful

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  10. I had a good friend over several years - a very kindly helpful lady - such fun times together - but over time she became quite overpowering and needy and it progressed until I noticed I put her wants first - When I became ill she was very selfish - I ended the friendship - Had to - It is a shame but she had became quite nasty which I couldn't continue to overlook x

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    Replies
    1. Friends shouldn’t overpower others

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  11. As far as videos go, I play very few. Sometimes this is because MrVA is at work in the same room, but often because I like quiet. As far as bolshy bloggers go, I refuse to engage. I had enough of difficult individuals when I was being paid to deal with them. Now, I do not have to.

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  12. It shocks me the things some people will spout online....things they would never speak out loud in public or to someone's face. One of the downsides to modern technology.
    As for the thunderstorm...it must have bypassed your area John. We had an absolute humdinger of a storm....one thunderclap sounded like a bomb exploding, and the front windows shook....someone nearby said that glasses in their cupboard fell over! Part of our area has lost power. However, the rain was very welcome indeed.....I think the garden is breathing a huge sigh of relief.

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    1. We had one huge boom, that echoed around the circle of hills across the valley

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  13. Barbara anne9:44 pm

    It is sad that everyone, everywhere cannot be kind to everyone else. And, yes, the a----holes cannot expect to be tolerated if they don't change. Most likely, they find another target. What a wasted life they must have. Still, it's their choice.
    Stepping away is a life saver.

    Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. I’m intrigued by people’s needs and motivations here

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  14. Mary D10:05 pm

    I don’t have a blog myself,but I follow a few ,mainly crafting, painting,and photography .I love reading your blog and tonight as I was checking it I read your comment about watching Barry manilow! I remember the first time I saw him on tv. And I have been a fan ever since.that was forty four years ago!

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    1. He has the ability to tap into pure emotion at its most teen

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  15. It's quite startling what some people feel compelled to say/write cloaked in anonymity. Keyboard warriors? No. Keyboard cowards.
    Hope resting, hydrating, and the antibiotics have worked their magic and you're feeling much, much better.
    Wishing you a quiet & peaceful evening, and may your shift tomorrow afternoon be quiet also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, 4 litres of fluids and I’m back to normal

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  16. Anonymous10:19 pm

    Runnrose here. For some reason my "google account" and I cannot meet. Just want you to know that over the years, MANY TIMES! you have posted a video that lifted my spirits and made my day! I have been amazed at how unaware I was that that sing, video, etc. even existed. Today's song is especially meaningful because of my present situation. You are much treasured.

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    1. Thank you, I post videos that always please me

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  17. I've been gone for a couple of nights and am catching up with the blogs I have missed. I am sorry that people can be mean to you when you always seem so kind and loving to so many! I hope you continue to share whatever you want on your blog and I will enjoy your posts! xx

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    1. I never write anything rude or nasty on others blogs and I could have been called a sycophant to many

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  18. And that’s why you are going to make such an awesome counselor, John. You can separate the wheat from the chaff. More power to you and have a wonderful day.

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  19. It's your blog, John, and you can write ✍️ whatever strikes your fancy on it and, anyone strolling through can either stay or leave!
    I appreciate not having Ursula showing up on here!
    Reading blogs are just away to peek in on the lives of strangers and sometimes it is fun and sometimes not so much!

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  20. The fact that the internet allows them a place to hide while lobbing their word grenades is what enables their awfulness. I don't engage them. I would delete the comments immediately. In the end, with no one to duel with, they simply wander off. Usually.

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    Replies
    1. I don’t get to many immediately , I tend to only check my blog from 8 pm onwards

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  21. Or as a very witty blog writer I read daily, says....JOG ON !

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  22. ...not only you but also attacking your readers/commenters when they really know nothing about them either.
    Those nasty comments a couple weeks ago had my jaw dropping. SMH

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    Replies
    1. Yes. And I’m sorry for those who had to read such nastiness
      I got used to it

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  23. Anonymous12:13 am

    I came across a phrase the other day which may fit. Parasocial attachment. You see enough of a person online, you feel like they really are your friend. It's not all bad. It got a LOT of people through lockdown, including my household via over 500 hours of watching the same bunch of people who are themselves friends (Critical Role) playing dungeons and dragons, but can become unhealthy, like anything if not approached with good sense. I knew I was attached to them because if you see a face enough, the brain just does that, but I didn't think that meant I could start giving thrm advice, or expecting them to treat me like a friend or even know I existed! I do however have some online friends met on message boards and the like via niche interests and I would say they stand among my dearest friends. As for nastiness, it has always happened. Valentine's day used to be a day where mean cards would arrive as well as lovely ones. People would use the anonymity of those cards to be horrid. I usually try to take behaviour bacllk to apes to see why it persists, I'm not sure what evolutionary benefit there is in being anonymously cruel, but bullying has existed as long as humans have and long before. The bully gets better food, best place to sleep etc, and their babies end up higher in the pecking order too. Now for sure that still happens! Some people evolve, some seem to be still back "in the trees".

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    1. Anonymous12:14 am

      Whoops, sorry, Tina from West Oz here.

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    2. Some interesting comments here, I agree with parasocial aspect , and agree with it covid, made us all reassess our places in the world and where our support came from

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    3. "Parasocial attachment" -- what an interesting idea.

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  24. I haven't received too much bile recently, but I always found that if I did, and I looked for their 'profile' to see what sort of person he or she was, that no 'profile' was available. I think that says as much about them as you need to know.

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    1. Yes Anonymous comments are cowardly

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  25. I work on the principal if you have nothing nice to say, then keep it that way.

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  26. It is sad when friends..online or in person..show a different face. But we cannot..must not..let them harm us.
    Keep on writing, JGG

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    1. Yes my own self esteem will not allow abuse and I’m glad of that

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  27. There are some wonderful people out here and some very disturbed and disturbing ones.

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  28. The amount of hate that people feel free to put on line is a scary thing. I enjoy reading your blog, have never taken offence at anything you have posted but had I disagreed I would just skip over it as you are entitled to your opinion. If it was something I found totally off putting them I would simply bypass your blog. Why can't those sad keyboard warriors do the same. Viv

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    1. I have no trouble being disagreed with, I just have an issue with being told how I should think and act when I’m quite old enough to make those decisions for myself

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  29. I sometimes wonder if the fake friends only attack the one person they dislike, or is it that they hate everybody and treat it as a sport. Bitterness can only be destructive to the person dishing it out, if you ignore them. I sometimes have to block all comments to give me a breathing space. Don't like doing it, but my sanity is important to me. Trying to reason with them doesn't work, they come back for more. Keep your pecker up John, you are a good man.

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    1. I’m not fed up just irritated last night that another innocuous blog gets hijacked foolishly
      I’ve seen the pack mentality in action too

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  30. I think you have more friends here than detractors. Your blog attracts a very varied and generally supportive audience and the nastier elements can always be deleted.

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    1. Not quite that simple jaycee as u probably know

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  31. I'm sorry you've had unpleasant comments John, you don't deserve them. Take solace in the fact that you have so many decent readers here too.
    I suppose it's something that any blog writer could have to deal with, some might be fortunate and not attract the vitriol but perhaps they're in the minority. Like road rage, it's something that's sadly on the increase but I don't know why, it certainly isn't progress in a good way.
    One thing I've noticed is that those readers who keep replying to Anonymous comments seem to fuel the fire. Perhaps if there was no response there wouldn't be any satisfaction for the Anons and they'd go elsewhere.
    Keep on blogging John and I can assure you that your posts are never boring as you suggested the other day, on the contrary, readers wouldn't have stayed around for so long if that was so. The simplest of posts is always welcome.

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    1. I seldom police the blog during the day, I have better things to do ,

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  32. Hoping you are feeling much better this morning. Sending you a smile and a hug. Sharon x

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  33. John, it doesn't make sense, but a person can hear a bunch of lovely things about themselves, and feel sometimes that they can't be true. Hearing a mean thing, or a rude thing, and the hurt is taken on in our deepest selves, as if it were the truth. Sadly, the internet has given the hurt people plenty of ways to hurt people. Your blog has been a source of love and light for me for a long time. Thank you for continuing to write, in spite of the trolls.

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    1. ive only been hurt a couple of times, and those times i was at a venerable state generally,
      usually I slightly exasperated

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  34. For the life of me I cannot figure out why your blog would cause such ire in anyone. To sum up- I think it's them, not you.

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    1. Yes….I suspect I just have the ability to irritate as well as to like…marmite x

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  35. I totally agree with Karla - maybe in your studies you will find why we do this - ignore the compliments and internalize the jibes?!?!? During Covid, when I looked back over my life I seemed to only see the bad things, stupid things ... that isn't the sum of my life and I am concentrating on being more positive and bringing positive things to me. You are the first blog I read in the morning and you always have something uplifting to say. I also follow Weaver of Grass who is always so interesting. I don't comment much (because I don't want to be seen as a fawning idiot??) but I think you are an admirable person and you help me a lot.

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    1. it angers me when others bloggers who have followers of their own call my followers sycophants
      especially when thier own followers can be termed fawning too...hypocrites

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  36. Anonymous10:29 pm

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  37. Sadly, I had to turn on comment moderation to avoid giving a platform to three particular people who specialise in superiority and nastiness. I never read a word that they write and yet from time to time they still each leave comments but "Delete" makes them disappear right away - like flushing a lavatory bowl.

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  38. Anonymous6:59 am

    Good on you John for not letting that nasty person get away with disrespectful behaviour towards you. It’s unnecessary and no one should have to deal with it. I rarely make a comment unless I feel strongly about it as it is difficult for me but mainly because it’s not my job to judge people all the time. I hope you have a better day today. Sally from Kent.

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  39. As Ms. Moon said, I am mystified about why a handful of people have such hostile reactions to your perfectly harmless blog. I think the "road rage" comparison is very apt. Some people carry around a lot of hostility and it seems safe to vent it at people who are at something of a remove -- whether online or in another car. (Then again, road rage occasionally gets people shot! Not that I'm recommending that reaction, even though I am American. :) )

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  40. Parasocial relationships are really something- we interact in a very one sided way. People feel like they know someone well enough to comment, but it amazes me how nasty people can be. It interesting, because they feel they are familiar enough- but would they be so awful to someone in real life (maybe?)

    I enjoy reading - rarely comment

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes