I’ve dated the same guy four times now since the beginning of February
I won’t tell you any more about him because he’s not worth the effort
Suffice to say he has just admitted he has a partner that he’s living with and not one that was estranged from him but still sharing the house.
He was good company and laughed at my jokes
Sheesh
why do gay men lie so much?
Carrie Bradshaw, answer me that one?
Mind you I’m not bereft or even upset
I feel more resigned than anything else
What a surprise ? Not!
I had planned to meet him tonight as college was off….and he still wanted to meet even though I saw them both in Sainsbury’s on Sunday afternoon, discussing the possible toppings of what looked like Sainsbury’s home made pizzas.
I’ve arranged to see the acclaimed Home I’m Darling at Theatre Clwyd with Chic Eleanor tonight and have decided to concentrate on my ability to be the best spinster in the parish.
If I had a pashmina I would fling it.
It's not just gay men.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not just men (I know).
DeleteDating after 60 is awful! I have resigned myself to having a good friend to go out with but remaining single. Can't deal with anyone else's drama or bad habits! lol
ReplyDeleteWell said , I concur
DeleteIn my experience Some men always want extra with their pizza - Greedy buggers - Chic Eleanor is perfect company for you Johǹ xx
ReplyDeletelove this comment!
DeleteYes one of your better ones flis lol
DeleteAs well you should!
ReplyDeleteLol indeed
DeleteI'm afraid it's just not gay men that lie. One of my work colleagues just found out the chap she's been seeing is in a relationship as well, why can't people just be kind and honest with one another. You fling the invisible pashmina John. x
ReplyDelete.
Interestingly I’m not that bothered
DeleteSomething that says a great deal me thinks
I do have to tell you I am still grinning heartily at this post! A good 10 minutes later, not the situation, your way of telling it. You are the man, Charlie Brown!
ReplyDeleteYes I must admit, I walked away in Sainsbury’s more incredulous and laughing rather than upset
DeleteYou should have rushed up to him in Sainsbury kissed him all smiles and said " Ralph darling....I was just about to call you...you left your wallet at my place. I found it in the dog's basket " Chortling and guffawing..Must fly....see you tonight !
DeleteJeez, John. Why do some people think that's OK? You deserve better than that. Could Chic Eleanor lend you a pashmina for swishing purposes? I've just quickly read a review of Home I'm Darling. Looks a good 'un. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. xx PS How's Albert? x
ReplyDeleteIf that’s your rules that’s ok ..I’ve dated guys who are open about their partners’ existence and I have no trouble with that …lies are lies though, and I cannot abide a liar .
DeleteThe play was rather good and very enjoyable , I will review it tomorrow .
As for Albert . When I drove up he was in the garden
He walked into the kitchen
Ate a plate of chicken on the kitchen table and went to bed
I don't think lying is a trait of only gay men, lol. The straight ones lie too.
ReplyDeleteAs Big Daddy said on Cat on a hot tin roof
Delete“ There ain't nothin' more powerful than the odor of mendacity!”
A.
DeleteFor goodness sake. I will have to repeat it. Lying in such ways is done by plenty of women too. Lying, cheating... it's done by people.
DeleteA of course you are right, I’m seeing it just from my point of view xx
DeleteWho ever he was he did not deserve you. Have a scotch egg buy a pashmina and swish it.
ReplyDeleteIrene
I’ve started a new style for men
DeleteJohn, I check your blog post title now every morning and if I don't see it announce the passing of Albert, I breathe a sigh of relief! I also have an old cat so I know something of what you are going through. What color of pashmina scarf would you have liked to fling?
ReplyDeleteYellow
DeleteAs for Albert
DeleteHe has just eaten a medium plate of chicken
No not yellow, with your skin tones it should be a dusky pink or a sage green ..now swish with aplomb ..
DeleteNo not yellow, with your skin tones it should be a dusky pink or sage green ..Tweetart
DeleteAnd if I had a pashmina, dear John, I would send it you to fling. And stamp on. Louise X
ReplyDeleteAnd I would fling it gayly
DeleteFling on. You don't deserve that xx
ReplyDeleteI don’t
DeleteOof - not a good feeling. But I do love your reaction. As another commenter has said, it's not just gay men who lie, either. Maybe they do it more because they may have lived their lives needing to lie about some things, and it's easier to lie about other things as a result? I don't know. Enjoy your movie; that's a very healthy response to a disappointment - just keep swimming.
ReplyDeleteI’m not really upset
DeleteAs I’m not really surprised
I’m not really upset
DeleteAs I’m not really surprised
What a git. His loss. I'm sure Chic Eleanor would have just the right pashmina for you. Enjoy yourselves. x
ReplyDeleteWe had a lovely night
DeleteYou are better off without someone who lies. Enjoy your evening with a real friend.
ReplyDeleteI’ve always thought that ….always
DeleteIf I had the money I’d buy you ten pashimas , you are worth more than that. Sadly people lie all the time. Hope Albert is not giving you or darling roger more « frighteners ». Hugs, remember you are wonderful. Noreen
ReplyDeleteNoreen, he was waiting for me when I got home, and ate a plate of chicken before taking himself off to bed
DeleteSorry to read this. But, it's not gay men, although I'd venture to guess it's more men than women. Jerks!
ReplyDeleteBastards lol
DeleteSomeone that misrepresents themselves or conveniently leaves out a significant other is untrustworthy. Dump him.
ReplyDeleteI think their truth is an open relationship
DeleteIf that was the case , I could have coped with it if told, I’m an adult
He needed to apply that openness to you too. Very unfair to you otherwise. I'm not sure about giving up. I would if I had to start again, but I might start a romantic friendship club to makes sure I still got cuddles! Tina in west oz.
DeleteJust rob Eleanor's x
ReplyDeleteWorth a fortune
DeleteSorry to hear this John.
ReplyDeleteAt least pashminas are light and your postie won’t get too annoyed with the parcels arriving…come on folks SEND JOHN A PASHMINA!
Oh god ……I never thought of that…..I feel a bring and buy sale coming on
DeleteDisappointing proof that he is not worth youor time, John. Hope the movine was as delightful as Chic Eleanor's good company.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
The play was excellent , West end quality
DeleteAs my favorite TV doctor (House) says, "Everybody lies."
ReplyDeleteI guess you could be right, some, in my sad experience more than others
DeleteYou could always ask Chic Eleanor to wear a false beard and lower her voice by several octaves. Lessons in belching and unashamed farting may also assist.
ReplyDeleteThat me and never Eleanor !!
DeleteFling the pashmina and toss your head whilst harrumphing. What is wrong with people?
ReplyDelete- krayolakris
Some are shallow ….that’s ok if you don’t pretend to be something more substantial
DeleteWhat a lying shit head.
ReplyDeleteYou lovely loyal friend x
DeleteWhat a jerk he is! You are well rid of him. xx
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed his company
DeleteI can live without it x
My sister had the same thing happen to her with a woman she was dating. Arilx
ReplyDeleteCow
DeleteKudos for having the strength to fling yourself out there. Fling on and shop on!
ReplyDeleteNaw….I’ll start a new hobby
DeleteJust as well you found out now! X Mary
ReplyDeleteYes…thank goodness for pizza
DeleteI can't tell you how many times in my past I went on a date with a guy only for him to tell me he had a partner. I felt like saying, "Why are we even HERE?!" Sadly, I also lacked a pashmina.
ReplyDeleteLol …..I will give up the ghost me thinks lol
DeletePeople that lie suck, period.
ReplyDeleteIn more than one way!!
DeleteYou can forgive alot of things in the name of love but lies and betrayal are unforgiveable. My last boyfriend, gay, young, good looking and great in bed made a fool out of me. I am 70, wealthy and vulnerable to what law enforcement here in Ohio, USA call elder abuse. I wanted so bad for the relationship to work that I was blind to the fraud and embezzler he was. There is no fool like an old fool. As they brought him out of the courthouse after the trial and sentencing he was near enough to me that I walked up to him. My right arm may tremor terribly from the Parkinson's but I swung that arm so fast and hard that my open handed slap across his face took him down to his knees. Then I calmly said "Now who is the fool you cad" and I turned and walked away. I heard the jailer say "you had that coming". Cad? It will soon be punk where you are going. This is a true story and I hope evryone
ReplyDeleteWell that would make a great tv drama scene …very DYNASTY .
DeleteI KNOW upsetting at the time , but we are old fools woody
Big hugs xxx
Thank you for sharing
I bet Chic Eleanor would gladly loan you a pashmina!
ReplyDeleteLol she would indeed
DeletePoor you bleat bleat
DeleteYes poor me x
DeleteThat man was nothing but a liar, a cad, and a fraud. I was the victim of such a person who was a cad, an embezzler and an elder abuser. He was 30 and I am 70. In the courtroom he called me an old fool which I guess I was. After the trial and the jailers were taking him away and I was close enough to him I swung my badly tremoring arm (I have Parkinson's) and with my open hand slapped him across the face so hard he went down on his knees. I said clamly "now who is the fool". I heard the judge say to his bailiff "he had that coming". So John, there is a lot of us over 60 out there and gay or straight we are being way to often subjected elder abuse that starts out as flattery but easily turns into lies and deception. All we want is a little love, attention, kindness and our self-worth validated. And for me I want my trust in humanity renewed. Life is to damn short at this point to be playing games. Your a good man JG. A good man that anyone would be proud to call a friend. You didn't deserve what ever the game was that man was playing with you. Be safe, be careful, and be happy.
ReplyDeleteI will deArheart
DeleteAll I can think is I better start dating before I hit 60 :)
ReplyDeleteI give up x
DeleteFling away
ReplyDeleteTo Woody In Ohio: I can definitely imagine how hurtful that was to you. I worked in a very large international financial company. My boss embezzled over $2M over the course of 4 years. He used us to carry out his fraud and lied to our faces while stabbing us in the backs. Something like that affects you forever. It is hard to trust.
ReplyDeleteBeing taken advantage of in a personal relationship has to be very painful. I wish you peace.
Gawd, I had one of those walk through my life at one time too. Every time I see him in our small town he gives me this big grin, which I just want to wipe off his ignorant face. I don't though, as he's always hand in hand with his semi invalid, innocent wife.
ReplyDeleteI wonder of his partner knows about you.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm glad you found out early enough, before the relationship had grown into something more that was built on such a selfish lie.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sh#tface! If he couldn't be honest about something (that ought to have been) so important to him, you couldn't trust him to be honest in any other way. You are definitely much better off without his presence in your life. Flick that Pashmina and wiggle those hips!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad Albert isn't in pain, and is living life on his terms again.
Any date with Chic Eleanor I'm sure would be ample compensation. You spotted him discussing pizza toppings with 'him indoors' - you couldn't make it up - I guess you were his bit on the side? Or maybe he wanted to jump ship? People often hold a torch for someone else or fantasise about someone else when they're in a relationship, especially if the relationship has broken down. It's when people act on their inclination that it goes wrong. It can be for a genuine romantic reason, but usually there's a s3xual one. I guess one thing that you can take from it John, is that at 60 there was a chap that clearly fancied you. Just that he was the wrong one. Not the one with the hole in his jumper. I'm sure he'll turn up.
ReplyDeleteSadly as many have said it's not just gay men who lie. In a way I'm glad you're not too upset but also sad. I tried dating for a while again and it's just as slim pickings for women in their 50s. I seem to attract bare faced liars and con artists. I can spot them from the first message!! So I've given up. I'm happy to be single now, I don't even think I could let someone into my life any more. I'm happy with my daft dog and mad chicken :-) xxx
ReplyDeleteYou could have stood beside them at the pizza counter pretending to choose your own and as just another customer ,nonchalantly say " so hard to choose isn't it only to get home and find you have made the wrong choice ", smile and walk away with a wiggle and swinging your basket ! Lying is a horrible thing it causes most of the bad feeling in the world so sorry that you have had this experience and hope it doesn't put you off pizza x
ReplyDeleteYeah, that resonates with me...the best spinster. I'm in my early 70s and have really come to terms with being single. My last attempt at dating proved to be one of the worst, the guy being a real nasty piece of work in the end. Now I feel pretty at peace with it, especially when spending time with married friends and family and observing that it's not easy for them either!
ReplyDeleteNina
It almost like you need to do a background check before the second date.
ReplyDeleteJohn, ugh! I'm so sorry he is a schmuck! He doesn't deserve you. Dating, whether at 60 or in your 20's is the same! My son (31) was contacted by a girl he dated briefly in college. When they met up, she confessed she was already in a relationship, it wasn't going well, and would he be interested if she broke up with the guy? My son, ever the man of integrity, asked if the bf knew she was with him, and she said, "no, of course not!" My son stood up, said "You have no integrity." and left. WTF? No one wants to be the "back up" relationship.
ReplyDeleteI would fling the pashmina around his neck, nice and tightly so that no draughts get in.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're handling this brilliantly. Some folk are just not worth the effort are they, you are obviously twice the man he is and therefore he is not coming up to scratch. His loss!!
What a shit. Glad you found this out before getting all emotionally invested. I feel sorry his partner, and feel like you dodged a bullet on that one.
ReplyDeleteI read more and more about the difficulties to date and keep friends as we age. I am glad you are making an effort despite this disappointment.
ReplyDelete