I’ve been reading some interesting articles by Imran Ahmed, the CEO of the nongovernmental organisation CCDH ( Centre for Countering Digital Hate) . He discusses people who exhibit the psychological trait of “negative Social Potency” which can be simply described as “ Wanting to upset or hurt” couple this with boredom, a need for attention or personal amusement and you have what my mother would occasionally refer to as a shit stirrer .Professor Mark Griffith from Nottingham Trent University discusses the need to be amplified and adds this concept into the mix.
We all want to be heard but people with Negative social Potency want to upset whist being heard.
It’s a sad way a run a railroad.
And a dysfunctional way of living a life.
I had sausages cooked in the air fryer for brunch today. I made them into hot buttery sandwiches with flat bagels, perfect with a mug of tea. I’m going back to bed shortly as I’m on nights , and I will be taking the girls with me as hormones are raging here still..
I will leave you with a thank you for a pre Christmas gift I received yesterday. A lovely leather bound note book, which is quite beautiful A kindness of which I’m extremely grateful for
I love this video, it’s the Chap’s Choir singing Book Of Love which was produced to support the men’s mental health charity CALM . Campaign Against Living Miserably .
Sweet…..
Happy Christmas
No more red shoes let's hope.
ReplyDelete?
DeleteHappy Christmas to you, John and thanks for all the giggles, tears and thought-provoking you've given us. xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading and for coming back for more.merry Christmas to you
DeleteHappy Christmas to you and yours John; I’ll give you details on the particulary nice pieces we sung - on Psalter Lane - as requested - when I get home and rummage through my choir bag.
ReplyDeleteOn Psalter Lane sounds like a song title - a bit like the tender On Raglan Rd by the Dubliners…
It’s always interesting to see what other choirs sing, you can Nick their best songs
DeleteAnd when I say Nick , I mean use
DeleteThanks for the Chap's Choir video. What a wonderful way to start my day.. And a Happy Christmas and Joyus New Year to you and your randy kids.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a beautiful piece done very well. I quite adore it
DeleteBeautiful music. Brilliant chorus. You can sing me anything. John.
ReplyDeleteI’d love to sing this is choir , it has a gentleness about it don’t you think
DeleteNearly everyday there is something in blogland that I could be negative about, but I chose not to. I either find something kind to say, or if I really can't I pass over that post. Kindness is a choice.
ReplyDeleteSimply put david but your thinking isn’t warped by slights, or a misjudged sense of right
DeleteMerry Christmas, John. Thanks for sharing your blog with us. x
ReplyDeleteThank you more for reading it
DeleteSaid individuals absolutely despise and run for the hills when they are held to account. With no tolerance for their BS, I've taken one such person to task and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. This individual is no longer looking to engage me. The Choir is fantastic.
ReplyDeleteFace to face challenging is a rare thing with NPS,…..unfortunately….
DeleteI've never heard that song "Book of Love" before -- good song and performance by the Chaps Choir.
ReplyDeleteIt’s simple but incredibly moving
DeleteFor years my blog used to be unmoderated but then three Negative Social Potency sufferers kept turning up like judges constantly making remarks that began to upset me and caused offence. They never had anything nice to say so I had to go for the moderation option. Occasionally they still leave comments but I have disciplined myself to never read anything that they write. I just press "Delete". It must be awful to be afflicted with NSP but I just don't want anything to do with such folk.
ReplyDeleteToxic is the word for some ( though not all) after all some people just enjoy a debate no matter what your (or their) position
DeleteGetting ready for the busy weekend! I've got lots to do but lots of time to do it so I am not worried.
ReplyDeleteHope your Christmas is happy, John! xx
I hope yours is too Ellen
DeleteI have had more than my share of narcissistic twisted lying people leaching from myself - mother in law - sister in law and another individual - I have been too soft with them and they saw it as a weakness in Me - and then sucked harder - I have had to unstick them and leave them in their swamp of shit x
ReplyDeleteI can look after myself here dear flis , never worry
DeleteBut I was sticking up for Eleanor too -You see someone was saying unpleasant things about me and when I told another lady about it she said "she doesn't like you because you are dainty " x
DeleteI just listened to a YouTube video of Professor Scott Galloway, and he spoke of how we are creating this culture of men, mostly, who are isolated, angry, and like to hurt others because they are hurt. He was talking about the men from the U.S's many mass shootings. I was rather astonished at how accurately he got down to causes and conditions, and isolation was one of the greatest causes. We are so connected by the Internet, but less connected in person. It is my goal for 2023 to make more opportunities to be with people! You inspire me to do just that, John!
ReplyDeleteGalloway speaks a great deal of sense, I’ve listened to several of his podcasts and he’s been interviewed on you tube .
DeleteHe is an “ expert” on the isolation phenomenon you mention here.
I've been reading about isolation and how it can make us mentally and physically ill. We see it in the elderly - they fail quickly when one or the other spouse passes. It can kill alcoholics, there is an actual broken heart syndrome, that literally misshapes the heart and can kill. We are herd animals, really, meant for community. I love your little community John, and how you strive to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Merry Christmas to you and your lovely pack of 4-legged friends!
DeleteAnd all best Christmas wishes to you, my love. Cointinue to shine your bright light into all our dark corners and make us smile, give us hope. It is a sad fact that we meet hundreds of wonderful people on blog and in reality, but it is the sad a*******s who linger in head and heart like a bitter pill.
ReplyDeleteIt is useful to find a proper term to describe these pathetic sad people, but does not help me forgive or excuse their spite and negativity. My mother was the prime example, so I know the mindset from the inside, and there is nothing to be done to help or heal. They relish in their (what they think is) power.
Have a warm and wonderful Christmas, John, your family - two legs and four - all of Trelawnyd and all the John Gray support team out there. And here is to a better and less fraught 2023!
I’m feeling more sorry for such people rather than just irritated and god forbid , angry ..
DeleteI am however irritated by myself by so often reacting
What a lovely way to wake up this morning. I love this song.
ReplyDeleteIt’s a new one on me .
DeleteThe very best to you and your house John. All creatures great and small! Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteAnd to you debby
DeleteInteresting about "negative social potency." That describes several of our American political figures to a tee!
ReplyDeleteI know it was meant as a joke but you make an interesting point
DeleteA joke? Any number of your Anonymous comments and the NSP folks making them certainly fit that bill.
DeleteI love getting a new notebook and a leather bound one sounds very posh. All the possibilities ahead of what you can write makes them very special.
ReplyDeleteTrue, a lot of people take to social media to criticise, poke fun at, hurt or just plain shit stir. It's usually the unhappiest people that have this trait.
The literature would suggest a more complicated psychological dysfunction ….I don’t think it’s a purely new phenomenon …after all even in Agatha Christie times there were poison pen letters
DeleteTrue!!
DeleteSheesh. I got caught up in the greetings, I forgot the blog post entirely. Yes. I think that Professor Griffith is hitting it on the head. 'Negative social potency' is pervasive to be sure, but there is one more thing. They have a need to be heard. Right. But why, do you suppose? I'm going to guess that it is because their own life does not allow them to be heard for whatever reason. The barrier may be their own mental illness, or they may be caught in a dysfunctional relationship. They have a need to hurt others. Right. But why do you suppose? I think that anger always comes from a deep hurt and brokeness. I also think they thrive on getting a response from others. I see this as pathological, really, and I do not believe that it can be addressed directly, because that would them to process criticism and apply the criticism to their own behavior, which they are usually not able to dom seeing themselves as perfect, and the rest of us as flawed and needing fixed. The only defense you have, as a blogger, is to delete the comments. You are minimizing the ripple effects of that kind of vitriol.
ReplyDeleteSomething interesting though is Patton Oswalt's reaction to a troll: https://www.yahoo.com/now/patton-oswalt-responded-twitter-troll-001524419.html This is old, but it does demonstrate the importance of kindness.
Interesting reply Debby. Ahmed suggests a Bastic type of behaviour modification. Ie cutting off the source of the gratification which is easy to say , but hard to do .he also likens the behaviours we often see around road rage which interesting too.
DeleteI get a sense that negative social potency comes under the blanket umbrella of “ personality disorder “ something I’ve never quite understood , even when I was a psychiatric nurse.
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ReplyDeleteI watch the The Chaps video several times a day. love it! Merry Christmas to you John
ReplyDeleteHappy Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI could listen to the Chaps Choir all day.
Mimi
I wondered and was curious about the red shoes earlier - but they haven't as yet replied - This brought back bad memories - Some years ago here my telephone rang and M I L seemed consumed with anger - after calming her down apparently "someone" had bought a pair of red shoes !! - I realised then she was to be avoided x
ReplyDeleteI wondered if the red shoes comment was a reference to Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz? Maybe they were questioning whether Roger had managed to "get" to Dorothy, and she would produce several little Dorothys! xx
DeletePerfect xx
DeleteAnd I shall use it x
ReplyDeleteLove the music and it's wonderful they and many others add positive energy in thiis world. Music I've loved for 30+ years are Mannheim Steamroller's Christmas CDs. They will cheer you up!
ReplyDeleteHope the girls are well behaved and that your co-wrkers and patients love them.
Hugs!
I love the chaps choir video... very moving for this time of year... not necessarily what they are singing... which is wonderful.... but the calmness and quiet they infer with their lovely voices. I decided very suddenly whilst listening that choral music of any description is what I like listening to most of all. I think it is the "mass" of voices that "sings" to me. Much the same as I like the skirl of the pipes and drums ... en masse. Wonderful for the soul.
ReplyDeleteDon't know what red shoes mean either but I'm definitely picking up a "blood" vibe too.
On a nicer note; thanks for all of your wonderful blogging over the past year, I visit very often and comment if I have time and the inclination and would miss you very much if you stopped blogging. You make me giggle, guffaw and hoot without giving a toss what anyone thinks and I often come away from reading your blog with a huge smile on my face. Thanks very much for that I love it. Merry Christmas to you and your fur babies... I hope that 2023 brings you everything that you want and truly deserve. XX
Jo in Auckland
Thank you jo , that means a great deal
DeleteMerry Xmas to you John.WhenI was growing up in a strict Methodist house we were not allowed to say “merry”!
ReplyDeleteI am busybusybeejay aka Barbara from the above post,but blogger insists on making me anonymous !
DeleteHi BBJ, If you click oon the work anonymous, you'll have the drop down list of ways to sign your name. I choose the boom one and type my name in for every comment.
DeleteCheers!
Beautiful choir - have a good Christmas dear one.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful music/song, wonderful choir! Thank you for the all the wonderful blog posts, thought provoking in one way or another, and always a joy to read. Wishing you & yours a Merry Christmas, and peace, joy, laughter, love, good health, and prosperity in the coming year.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard that song before but it, and the choir singing it, made me tear up just a little.
ReplyDeleteThank you, John, for letting us follow along for another year of Going Gently. You are a daily dose of sanity in this perplexing world. Love, Elizabeth
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmnDXRJ7btE
DeleteWhat a nice rendition.
ReplyDeleteAnswer to query way back: Our choir uses 100 Carols for Choirs edited and arranged by David Willcocks & John Rutter.
I particularly like Birthday Carol for its syncopation but I absolutely love I Saw a Maiden - there’s a lovely version on YouTube by the Stairwell Carollers.
A lovely wake-up for Pirate.. thankyou!
ReplyDeleteHave a happy and peaceful time, John....doggy hormones permitting!!
Merry Christmas, John. xx
ReplyDeleteYour course sounds interesting, John. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSimply beautiful music. Happy Christmas John.
ReplyDelete