I’m looking through my Filofax ( I know I’m a dinosaur) at the next ten days and apart from one long shift on Saturday , my days off and annual leave is filled with things to do.
I think that over the last two years I have pushed myself to be busy. And what I mean by that , is that I wanted to be productively busy….enjoyable busy……appropriately busy.
The world and his wife doesn’t come to you, when you’re on the wrong side of fifty, single and not blessed with Russell Crowe ( circa 2001) good looks.
You simply have to make the effort.
Today I’m off to London, (a flying visit to touch base with Nu ) as well as a real post covid treat- tickets to The Royal Ballet and I’m mindful that. I’m back in London early March to see Cabaret also with Nu ( her Christmas gift to me). Im planning to catch up with my friend Alex in the big smoke in April too, and no doubt we will get some cheap theatre tickets for something stimulating
The capital has been well and truly rubber stamped as it were.
Next week I’m on holiday. Sunday I’ve got two cinema trips booked Flee ( an animated gay themed film from Afghanistan) and The Duke ( the comedy heist movie with Jim Broadbent ) Monday it’s pottery with my sisters and lunch out with a friend. Tuesday it’s choir and the start of a five week film course on zoom.
Wednesday the dogs and I are off to Sheffield for four days and all of us are stating in a dog friendly Airbnb, a cottage in Loxley which overlooks Hillsborough, my old home town.
I’m a little tired of visiting Sheffield in a rushed manner. Dog sitters and time off work often means that I have to grab just an overnight visit, necessitating a triage of who to catch up with first.
This time as well as meeting up with stalwarts Mike, Jane and Jonney H , I’ve arranged dinner out and in with my old friend Sarah, and with Meggie and Mick who I haven’t seen together since their wedding back in the day when I had a waist and brown hair.
I’ve arrange walks with Jane and Bev and Maisie ( who was a baby when I left Sheffield ) and coffee and cake with Kathryn and Vince and everything is slotted in without rush and without drama.
For a fee my host will dog sit the girls if needed
Meggie and Mick’s wedding
I say all this, not to boast… look at me what a good friend I am! Perhaps I'm actually underlining what a poor friend I’ve been. Friendships are like tomato plants, they need regular feeding, and with relationships and work and the pace of life in general it’s easy to let things slide, concentrating on the few rather than the all.
It’s also easy not to be a good friend to yourself.
I think we all can act the martyr at times, the slouch, the couldn’t be bothered whilst sometimes the best thing to do is to hike up those bra straps and get on with doing
I’m trying to live that mantra, but it can be hard
Very hard
Gorgeous Dave messaged me the other night.
“Found dirt cheap tickets to Rome in June , fancy coming for a weekend?” it went
My reply was within minutes
“ let’s go for it!”
The train is just motoring through the midlands,
I get into London at 1pm.
A walk through Bloomsbury and I’ll be at Dishoom well before 2.
You do nurture your friendships, John, but life has a way of getting in the way sometimes. You are packing your days with happy memories and loved ones. Can't be bad! Enjoy the catch up with Nu. xx
ReplyDeleteAs I said earlier, enjoy. I am just off to the cinema.x
ReplyDeleteI'm so the opposite. I only work part-time, yet guard my days off as if they're all I live for. There are the things I have to do, and many things I don't ... and so I don't. But I don't live alone, so don't feel the need to get out and socialize; I tend more to appreciate the times I have our house to myself. You seem to be on the go a lot, while I on the other hand make a point of not committing myself to activities I may not feel like participating in when the day comes. I'm not sure it's any wiser, but it's where I'm at. As long as you're happy, not lonesome, and doing what you think best for your mental health, you're doing it right. I enjoy your busy life vicariously! -Kate
ReplyDeleteI agree with the phrase in your post -get on with the doing. Its easy to fall into a comfy state of doing nothing, but it doesn't do me any good. This last winter I've made more of an effort to join a book group, go back to the gym, reach out to friends, and to talk to people, and join zoom events. I don't want to feel I haven't lived my life.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a lot of fun! Enjoy every moment, John!
ReplyDeleteYou have a wide circle of friends and catching up will be good fun.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE how you've made a plan to go and DO, to see and to enjoy! I think so many of us last year just gave up the ghost for it, as it was just too much to consider. I've put my pet sitting clients on notice that this year, I won't be around much. I'll be gone often and for long periods of time. I will sit for them when I can. It feels SO good, doesn't it, to have plans? I could jump up and down! Something also about wanting to meet up with my relatives, and reconnect with them - my parents are both gone now, and I feel the need to spend time with them. Since I've retired, I've had to watch my "pendulum" self, which means I can do NOTHING for days, months, or I am so busy I don't even enjoy what I am doing. The middle is where I seem to be at peace. I cannot wait to read about your adventures on holiday, John! Traveling mercies to you!
ReplyDeleteAll this pushing yourself to be productively busy and actively keeping up with your friends has been your salvation John. You have literally picked yourself up by your bra straps and forged ahead with life and I admire that so much.
ReplyDeleteAs well as enriching your own life while you've been doing this you have no doubt enriched that of all those who you have enjoyed spending time with, which is highlighted perfectly by Gorgeous Dave wanting to spend time with you in Rome.
What else can I say but ... ENJOY :-)
I'll be waving frantically John from an embankment as you are taking your ease in the elegant steam train carriage winding your way home after todays adventure in London with Nu x
ReplyDeleteEnjoy - and I will just point out what rubbish about you So as my dear old mum used to say after such remarks 'put that in your pipe and smoke it'not being as good a friend as you should be. I even count you as a dear friend and we have never even met - and there are dozens like me.
ReplyDeleteYour philosophy is spot on in my opinion. Don't wait for stuff to happen - get out there and make things happen.
ReplyDeleteWOW …. What a full calendar John ……. I love Rome …. we went a few years ago …… the Trevi Fountain has just all been cleaned ! . Enjoy everything. XXXX
ReplyDeleteBrilliant plans and you don't have to defend them to anyone. It's your life, your choices, the naysayers can go fly kites! You're so right about tending friendships, too, be they near or far.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful time in London and give Nu a hug from me, please.
Hugs!
If you ask me, you‘re even better than Russell Crowe! Just look at you with Chic Eleanor in the sidebar. I love the old wedding photo. How many years ago was that? There’s nothing like seeing dear old friends.
ReplyDeleteLife is what we make it!
ReplyDeleteRome! Woo hoo! I also feel a compulsion to stay "busy," so I understand it. I wish I was better at nurturing my old friendships, but it's hard from across the pond, even in this era of easy e-mail communication. Have fun in London!
ReplyDeleteI have never had committed friendships. Which in a way is a shame but at the same time i feel lighter for it. We are planning a trip in April ( if gas prices and prices in general chill out) and its a huge circle trip to visit family and friends... family and friends i might add that never make the effort to come see us.. But this makes my husband happy so we will do it.. He tells me its the last time we will do it... If people want to see us they will have to come see us.. I really hope he means it this time.. I'd like to travel and see other places than the same darn circle... after all we're not getting any younger.. (in our 50's and 60's) .
ReplyDeleteIf only.
ReplyDeleteMake memories John, not only for yourself but for your friends too.
John, you are the last person I would think of as a bad friend. But, what I think doesn't matter. I admire that you are taking the time to see loads of people in a long weekend and catch up with relationships that you haven't been able to tend. Cut yourself a little slack, though. I mean, it's been a pandemic and a lockdown for a couple of years...
ReplyDeleteI am certain that all of your friends will be delighted to see you (and your dogs!)
I loved reading this post, John. Straight from the heart, as always. Your excitement and joie de vivre giving good vibes. Enjoy your time young man. Xx
ReplyDeleteA good break full of exciting things and good friends.
ReplyDeleteCan't fault it x
La Dolce Vita x
ReplyDeleteGorgeous Dave / Rome have the time of your life!
ReplyDeleteI said just the other day...make YOURSELF happy.
DeleteIt is up to me to make me happy . I know what does it , not everyone does.
Woohoo load on. Go for it and enjoy every minute. I echo others when I say I think you are a brilliant friend. I am more of a loner most of the time with one or two select people I spend a little time with. However, If I say I am going to do something for someone I always follow through.. so I think that makes up for not having loads of people in my life.
ReplyDeleteGo you!
Hope you enjoyed the ballet and the catch up with Nu.
Jo in Auckland
Enjoy, enjoy quality time
ReplyDeleteJust back from 4 days in Rome. It’s a gloriously easy city to walk round and eat delicious stuff on the hoof.
ReplyDeleteIt really is hard to be organised and make the effort with friendships in life and they do need to be nurtured. I'm guilty of this and also when busy with family or a relationship it's easy to let things slide and later regret it. Hope all your meet ups go well and you have a great time.
ReplyDeleteI found Rome exciting! So much to do and see!
Effort needs to be put in to keep friendships going.You certainly do that.A quick message phone call just saying thinking of you how are you makes a difference to a friends day.
ReplyDeleteHope that you had a lovely time in London and managed to avoid the hail! We had 3/4 short bursts of it just NE of London. Your Sheffield trip sounds wonderful. We lived in Northumberland for 4 years in the mid 70s and a couple of years ago we went back for a week and met up with old friends that we hadn't seen for 20 years ( we did go back regularly for a few years early on). It was so good to see them again. It's a shame it is so far away.....5/6 hour drive isn't fun at our age!
ReplyDelete