I met a friend for lunch.
They are grieving and looked hollow, and lost.
I listened and gave the grief feelings validation.
But it was hard to see the sadness
Which was physical and present.
And the Jamie Anderson quote came to mind
“ Grief is a love with no place to go”
Another very evocation quotation on this topic is: "Grief is a long dark table that calls for you to come to it alone."
ReplyDeleteYes, and even if your not alone, you feel alone
DeleteIt is hard to see a friend go through grief but you gave them the most needed gift - a sincere understanding and a space to talk about it. You are a good friend, John.
ReplyDeleteIt was hard today …distress is difficult to witness sometimes
DeleteYes grief is. I hope your friend makes it to the other side.
ReplyDeleteThey will …I’m sure
DeleteGrief will take its own time, and that can't be rushed. You gave your friend your presence and a caring, listening ear. We all need friends like you at such times. xx
ReplyDeleteWe all need friends , a hug, some time ,
DeleteYou don't see the lightness you gave them, but they will have carried it away with them...
ReplyDeleteI doubt that today martin ….but I hope I helped them just a little
DeleteGrief is hard. It simply cannot be fixed. It must be endured. The only thing a friend can do is sit with the broken hearted. You did that. Bless you for that.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was grieving my marriage , the most important thing an acquaintance did for me was to validate my feelings of grief
DeleteThat moment I will always remember with thanks and relief
That is a lovely quote. I hope I remember it when I need it.
ReplyDeleteIt does have a power
DeleteAs others have written, you gave your grieving friend your time, your attention, and your quiet caring and that is what helped even if you feel it wasn't enough.
ReplyDeleteI once read (and wrote it down):
"And almost every one when age,
Disease, or sorrows strike him,
Inclines to think of God,
Or someone very like him."
- Arthur Hugh Clough
Hugs!
Yes , that’s powerful
DeleteMy favourite Kipling poem has a repeated line about grieving ( albeit grief for a dog)
“ Yougive your heart to a dog to tear”
When grief hit me long and hard five years ago when my hubby died, friends gave me the best gifts, the gift of spending time with me. That is what you gave your friend, bless your heart.
ReplyDeleteI hope I helped
DeleteI tried very hard to help today and wasn’t quite sure I succeeded
There is no other sadness like grief. I'm glad you were there for your friend. Every little bit helps.
ReplyDeleteYes it’s relentless susan
DeleteCan't think of a friend i would rather have when dealing with grief John. I look back to your kind e mails and blog messages to me when I needed it when my dear David died.
ReplyDeleteI do not know your religious beliefs but after a tragedy in my family I was told by someone 'just remember the lost one has only stepped out of the room'. I have a strong spiritual faith but whatever yours is I send good wishes.
DeleteI’m touched you remember pat
DeleteYou have always inspired me pat, your strength and your ability to see the good in things xx
Countrygal
DeleteI don’t …I’m afraid
On grieving I have shut down and been totally consumed by it-not wanted to talk-not wanted normality-Eventually I have needed to voice my desperate emotions to whoever has been kindly enough to listen x
ReplyDeleteIf you are grieving you’ve loved something so dearly
DeleteListening is so important - properly listening. No judging and no disturbance, just listen. I have been on both sides - my friends listened intently to me when my sister died tragically and I was numb with grief; last week I listened to one of the friends who told me a terrible story - her sister's husband had gambled away £100k without her knowing and is now in a terrible position, my friend rang me afterwards and said, 'thanks for listening'.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree…..totally
DeleteGrief and its five stages. Different for each individual, but you come through and begin to live again. For most of us...
ReplyDeleteI agree
DeleteBut being told it will pass never helps ….in reality
I like your quote. Time can heal a bit but you are right - knowing that never helps the pain.
ReplyDeleteThe salt & pepper shakers in the photo are appropriate for this post!
ReplyDeleteWell noticed
DeleteTime doesn't heal.You just learn to live with your loss and ever aching pain in the pit of your belly.x
ReplyDeleteUnderstood
Delete