I finished my revalidation paperwork around 6pm
Just enough time after that to walk the dogs, eat something healthy ( spiced garlic roasted cauliflower with prawns) and chat with a friend, a wisecracking Frenchman called Oli.
By definition, my day’s intense reflections have thrown up a great deal of nursing memories.
One special one came to mind.
A dying patient once asked me to join her in prayer.
She was Jewish so I didn’t quite understand how she thought an agnostic Welshman living in Yorkshire would fare with such a request.
I compromised by saying that I would sit with her as she prayed.
She needed to be heard
Quietly she recited the vidui prayer of the dying in Hebrew with her head against the pillow, a hand over her eyes .
And I listened , head bowed
Terribly moved by words I didn’t understand
That was kind of you John. You're a mensch.
ReplyDeleteLol had to google that Mike x
DeleteOften the greatest kindness is being there and listening
ReplyDeleteI feel bad …was she speaking Hebrew or Yiddish ?
DeleteYou shouldn't. She knew, her God knew, and you were there for her.
DeleteI agree with Travel Sometimes it's just the being there that matters. You don't need to say anything.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes envy those who have strong religious beliefs. Your presence was what she needed. xx
ReplyDeleteI envied her
DeleteTruly listening is a gift beyond measure, and you seem to have that gift. I am sure it meant a lot to her.
ReplyDeleteSusan M
i am so hooked on season three of Shtisel. i just can't get enough of it!
ReplyDeleteIn the end, I think, most people fear facing things alone. The saddest thing I ever saw was people dying alone because their family couldn't/wouldn't come. The first time I dealt with it, the staff was instructed to check on the patient every 15 minutes. It was so inhumane. When I clocked out, I sat with her on my own. She was a regular tartar but nobody deserves to leave this earth alone.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your human kindness. The world is in such an uproar at the moment but you made a difference to her
DeleteThe best thing you can do for some patients is to be there.
ReplyDeleteYears ago, I attended the bar mitzvah of my son's friend, and it was deeply meaningful to me.
Hugs!
I can only endorse the comments over mine, and appreciate your compassion.
ReplyDeleteI long to be moved by words I don't undstand. Sometimes poetry does this.
ReplyDeleteI agree with many above; no-one should die alone. The least we should do is be there to say adieu, and assure the dying that they'll be missed.
ReplyDeleteTeam Going Gently are a terrific bunch of people! So I can only agree with everything everyone has already said.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree with everyone no one should die alone.
ReplyDeleteMy sister lives near our hospital, where she used to work. Whenever there is an elderly relative, no matter how distant, if there is no one to sit with them, she does. Sometimes she barely knows these relatives to begin with, but she says she has learnt so much, about their lives and about our wider family. She is there at the end.
ReplyDeleteShe just sees it as something she can do to help someone. I think she does something amazing.
But I was with my mum and she was asking me for painkillers-I rushed to the nurse station and they said we would have to wait for the doctor-she was in a terrible state and died very soon after-no pain relief in agony-she didn't go peacefully even though I Was there (afterwards they said they couldn't give her pain relief because she had been a recent admission) x
ReplyDeleteI suspect that in a situation such as that John you didn't necessarily need to understand.
ReplyDeleteThat warm and loving heart of yours, John! You naturally seem to know what people need. Connection is your language. It is a gift.
ReplyDeleteThank you, John. We have a family member who is Jewish and nearing the end.
ReplyDeleteThat is a nice memory, John. I imagine that you have hundreds (thousands?) of these moments where you have connected with your patients. What a good job you have done!
ReplyDelete