In October my nephew Jon and his girlfriend Holly get married.
It’s the first family wedding since my own back in 2015.
Jon is my brother’s son.
(For those that don’t know, my brother Andrew died of motor neurone disease almost ten years ago now)
The wedding will be a relaxed affair in a country hotel over the border and so, I think my family is going to book a large shared suite at the hotel in order to stay over.
It will be nice to have a few drinks.
I do love a nice wedding.
The only knotty thing about the wedding is that I will need a suit.
I am sure, non of you will be surprised to hear that I don’t own one.
I did have a tuxedo however, a matching one I wore at my wedding. But since I have lost over two stone ( and counting) it no longer fits! I dug it and my dress shirt out last week and took it to one of the hospice charity shops for recycling.
The man behind the counter was broad, like me..and he immediately took a personal interest in the tux when I handed it in with the caviat that it had only been worn one by one not-so-careful owner.
“ I think it’s my size” he preened and asked hopefully “Have you got the tie to go with it too?.”
I told him I had not, for I had kept the woollen maroon tie and had placed it in my almost empty tie drawer ( alongside my black funeral tie)
…It is the only thing I have kept from my wedding day….….I’m still not quite sure just why I have kept hold of it.
And so I am still left with the suit dilemma. Should I buy one for the wedding or just get a jacket and trousers ? I’m not sure of what is appropriate.
A bit lost I reviewed my options and have texted Chic Eleanor for advice
She’s left me with a reassuring and simple note of
“ Leave Things to me”
The wedding isn’t until October so I will wait to nearer the wedding day to pic my duds as I hope to lose at least another stone plus before the nuptials.
I don’t want to be the fat bastard in the wedding photos
In NZ jacket and trou would be perfectly acceptable, but I guess UK may be a bit more formal. A suit seems a bit over the top for a family wedding these days - no?
ReplyDeleteOh, I LOVE that Chic Eleanor will be your helper in finding just the perfect outfit for this joyful October wedding! Who is better suited for that task? Oops, sorry for the unintended word-play.
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Depends what the dress code is. Some people like everyone to be dressed up to the nines. Mine was a come as you please wedding (my dress was from M&S). By the sounds of it, chic Eleanor will get you sorted. If not, a charity shop suit or jacket/trousers combo, or even borrow from a friend? Either way, I'm sure a good time will be had by all, whatever you're all wearing. xx
ReplyDeleteI find clothes shopping excruciatingly painful and always embarrassing .
DeleteI didn’t make this clear in my lazy text .
Having someone along is such a buffer
Me, too. Although less excruciating now communal changing rooms have disappeared! I just hate making decisions. Having someone as chic as Eleanor to help will be a boon. xx
DeleteCan you not just hire one for the day??
DeleteJo in Auckland
Eleanor will guide you beautifully on your outfit for the wedding. Weddings are such wonderful celebrations. I especially like the custom hats women wear to British weddings. I am looking forward to attending 4 additional British weddings (+ 4 new hats).
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that Chic Eleanor is to be your stylist John-she is such a lovely Lady-This morning I found a white blouse to wear from my back bedroom-it was a forgotten £1 charity shop purchase-a Moss Bross wedding style mans shirt-ideal with jeans and wellies for the dog walk x
ReplyDeleteI worked at the Goliath retail store Sears, Roebuck in the young man's dept . We had a 10 way suit for little guys, that's what you need, reversible vest, one jacket and two pairs of pants. I suspect you will be attending more events like the wedding in the next few years as all of the youngsters grow up. Ruth in Oxnard CA. USA
ReplyDeleteWell, your photo brings back a memory from my school days. From time immemorial Me. D.P. Morris taught all second-year high school English students Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar. The year my class was scheduled to “get the treatment” the school had grown enough that a second teacher, Mrs. Elinor Field, was hired and was given second-year students. She, being very young and very modern, decided we would dispense with old Julius and read a modern novel instead. And the one she chose for us was The Man In The Gray Flannel Suit. She was gone by the next year and I didn’t read Julius Caesar until 20 years had passed. Decided to do it on my own.
ReplyDeleteThis has nothing to do with your dilemma. Your illustration just stirred up an old memory.
Me. = Mr.
DeleteI bet the fella in the Scotch egg shirt will be another size smaller, so best leave it to Chic Eleanor. She may give you curly hair, too.
ReplyDeleteWell, you are certain to have lost more weight by then, so deferring the decision is wise, and Chic Eleanor will "take you in hand" and have you looking fabulous!
ReplyDeleteIf the groom is wearing a morning coat, then I presume you would follow suit (Moss Bros). Otherwise why not a dark suit with black T Shirt?
ReplyDeleteTrust Chic Eleanor. She'll do you up proper.
ReplyDeleteAsk your sister-in-law if you are in any doubt about what to wear.
ReplyDeleteThat's good advice Rachel.
DeleteThe dress code should be on the wedding invitation or at least included with the invitation. If not, and John is unclear about what the code is and he wants guidance, then he should ask the family, not a stranger to the proceedings in my opinion.
DeletePersonally I would think that John see's how fellow human beings are dressed when he goes out and about and he should be able to work out for himself how to dress at a casual wedding within his own taste and reflecting his own personality. As you said, he is not the centre of attention at this wedding.
DeleteHow about a Birthday suit with strategically placed carnations and a discreetly positioned corsage x
DeleteI have always sought advice about my dress
DeleteIt’s not an area I’m overly confident about
Of course I know what I like but I have always wanted a second opinion.
I went to my sisters wedding in a lurid orange jacket which was too much even for the 1980s
Weddings are much less formal these days unless you're titled and wealthy. Or not wealthy but want to make an impression. A decent shirt and tie (the tie soon discarded after the photos) and a decent pair of trousers and jacket, it doesn't need to be a suit these days, just get something you can wear afterwards and not waste money on something you won't wear again.
ReplyDeleteA major point to remember - you're not playing a leading role at the wedding.
As a man , i doubt any suit or jacket combo worn my me, even if it was made from gold thread would overshadow a handsome young nephew in his own duds
DeleteHaving advice in the purchase of a suit is such a buffer for me as I find the whole rigmarole of going to the shops to find the ideal thing to wear excruciatingly embarrassing.
Always have.
I think a jacket and trousers is the right course of action
Your dilemma appears to be that you need something appropriate that is somewhere between the wallpaper and a nice suit. As you have discerned, that appears to be a jacket and trousers. You are so fortunate to have Chic Eleanor as a resource. I trust that she will steer you away from wearing the wallpsper.
DeleteIf it's going to be a "relaxed affair" it sounds like a nice smart jacket that you will enjoy wearing again would be "suitable".
ReplyDeleteBTW, changing the subject, a huge thank you to you and your neighbour for alerting me to the existence of udder cream! It has done my elbows a world of good and doesn't smell too bad at all. The smell reminds me of something - Sudocrem or Germolene perhaps? Anyway, thanks a million!
Ask your sister-in-law is good advice; then tell Eleanor what's expected and you will be the smartest slim chap at the wedding.
ReplyDeleteWhen we got married, my mom worked at the local Oxfam shop. She found a super suit for Dave, for £7.99 (this was 30 years ago). When anyone said how good he was looking, he took great delight in whipping the Oxfam price tag out of his top pocket!
i hope you can wear a jacket and trousers. you could wear them over and over again mush more so than a suit. you are going to be skinny!
ReplyDeleteSkinny I will never be , but slimmer yes x
DeleteIf size reduction is your problem, you could always hire a suit. Or have a serious trawl round the charity shops in Llandudno or Chester. Oddly enough, I have the same dilemma - three stone health prompted weight loss - for an October wedding. Do you reckon we should go clothes shopping together? Two reluctant smart clothes shoppers (scotch)egging each other on. It would be a giggle! (Seriously though, the best advice is to put yourself in Eleanor's hands. She's not chic for nothing!!)Good luck!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to the photo of a relaxed and dapper you x
ReplyDeleteWhatever you wear it should not be a bright red dress. That's all I know about wedding guest etiquette.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was white ?
DeleteThat's for the mother of the bride - red, I mean. You could always wear your birthday suit.
DeleteDefinitely buy a suit. Something to be buried in at a much later date x
ReplyDeletePragmatic mave
DeleteLOL -- now THAT's thinking ahead!
DeleteA nice smart suit and your Scotch egg t-shirt :-)
ReplyDeleteWhen we moved to Spain and did the major downsize, I kept a couple of suits and sports jackets... just in case. The suits didn’t live up to style trends (jackets too long, too baggy, etc.), so I gave them to charity. The sports jackets were already old, so I didn’t much like the fit of those anymore. I bought 2 new sports jackets and trousers and those have worked fine for me for 2 weddings and a funeral.
ReplyDeleteUnless you're walking down the aisle as part of the wedding party, why wear a suit?
ReplyDeleteGood point , but perhaps I’m thinking it’s time
DeleteCongratulations on your weight loss. If Chic Eleanor is on the case, you are going to look like a movie star!
ReplyDeleteBun in PA
How lovely to have a wedding to look forward to. I'm sure that Chic Eleanor will guide you in the right direction and you will look fab-u-lous! Well done on the weight loss x
ReplyDeleteI agree with ask the your nephew. I smart jacket, is so versatile. I don't own a suit anymore. I have bought some amazing jackets in charity and consignment shops over the years. It takes a little looking, but often they are like the tuxedo you just passed on, worn once.
ReplyDeleteI may even wear a handkerchief in my pocket how chic
DeleteSky blue or red silk would be nice.
DeleteWhat a lovely thing to have a friend like Chic Eleanor.
ReplyDeleteThat’s why I’m asking, I have no idea
ReplyDeleteI’m not confident about clothes and
ReplyDeleteIt’s a bit of an Achilles heel with me and one I’m actually quite , overly sensitive about.
Being a large bloke who often keeps things light, there is a side to me that hates being photographed
I’m not confident with fashion
I hate having my photo taken too John-I know you perhaps can't wear tinted glasses constantly but I feel more confident in sunglasses x
DeleteI’ve never worn sunglasses outside let alone inside
DeleteI love to see a man in a well-fitting dark - but not black - suit and think you should always have at least one for occasions such as weddings and funerals. A medium to dark grey works anywhere.
ReplyDeleteHowever, that said, perhaps a pair of well cut slacks with a nice muted check sport jacket would fit your lifestyle dear John. Please just don't wear jeans to the wedding which I hope will be a lovely, and enjoyable, family event.
Eleanor will be fun to shop with - thank her from me!
Congrats on the new sleeker you - you've done an admirable job and I know must feel wonderful.
Hugs - Mary
My uninformed opinion is that a jacket and trousers would be fine. I say buy whatever you're most likely to wear again!
ReplyDeleteYes I'm going with you steve
DeleteYou have gotten lots of advice here! I agree with Steve that you should get something you might wear again. You will look great and have a terrific time!
ReplyDeleteI think you would look good in dark coloured trousers,pale grey or beige jacket,shirt and tie toning with and then dark brown or dark tan smart leather shoes and a nice paisley or flowered handkerchief spilling from your breast pocket x
ReplyDeleteThat’s vague x
DeleteSorry John-I meant to be helpful-an actual linen jacket could easily crumple so just the effect of and blend the colour of shirt and jacket for a svelte line x (ps socks of character may make an appearance)x
DeleteI'm joking flis xx
DeleteFWIW, I also hate shopping for clothing - give me a craft, sewing, or garden store any day though. My problem has always been the dearth of tall women's clothing in stores, forced to rely on mail order or on-line with fit and quality being a total crap shoot. And those are even slimmer pickings as it seems companies have decided there are no overweight tall women.
ReplyDeleteI think you'll be well set with Chic Eleanor helping you. And as others said - if there's still doubt as to how casual or fancy - ask the bride & groom to-be.
Take tips from Owain the weather man. Watching him on tv today, if he dresses like that to present the weather forecast one wonders what he would wear for a wedding.
ReplyDeleteWill do
DeleteI cannot wait to see what Chic Eleanor kits you out in!
ReplyDeleteA nice pair of trousers and jacket not as stuffy as a suit and you will likely wear it again, if there are a lot more dress up occasions in the future you can always get a different pair of trousers for a whole new look.
ReplyDeleteJacket and trousers is my vote. Excited to see what Chic Eleanor comes up with!!
ReplyDelete