The Lows Of Owning A Neurotic Dog

Me on the loo this morning

We all have had the experience of a neurotic relative.
Invariably they are hard work,
And often need careful handling
So dealing with them is often fraught with winced eyes and breaths held,
Owning a neurotic dog is no different.
In fact I think, caring for one is harder than looking after a person with high anxiety
For neurotic dogs can more more unpredictable and difficult to handle.

Dorothy runs on a certain high desperation level ...
She is desperate for acceptance and reassurance and is jealous of anyone or anything else who receives what she pecieves as praise or attention.

When I am on the loo she will sit on my feet content at that physical warmth my fat feet will provide and when I am talking to passing villagers , she will be stood with her paws on my thigh and pleading eyes fixed on my face in a needy request for an acknowledgement that she is still there and she is still loved.

Now Winnie's sanguine personality has helped tremendously in Dorothy's " rehabilitation." The two sleep together every night on the kitchen reading chair ( something I am very strict about) and puddles on the kitchen floor, although still common overnight, are staring to deminish in frequency and volume . Mary is another leveller when the two are out for a walk, as she just egnores Dorothy's constant lack of manners, but I am sure that the time will come that one barge too many will ignite a spat which will lead to a bitch fight of frightening proportions .

Dorothy still does not understand the rules of waiting for food
She is still quick to temper when Winnie joins her on " her part" of the couch
And she will react in the oddest of ways when suddenly she does not want to walk on this or that part of the road, an area she is fearful of moving towards.
Using a bowl she has not seen before will bring forth a sudden drop onto her belly that cannot be relieved by a kind word and a scratch on the head.

Boy is she hard work....

But it takes just one look at her desperate, needy brown eyes that makes all of the effort and the exasperation and the odd shouts of pain when sharp claws run down bare legs and the mopping of puddles worthwhile
Her fear and anxiety must be exhausting for her
She is a damaged dog who needs consistency and patience

I don't always provide both as I am only human
But I have chosen to take her on
and she  is my Dorothy to care for

88 comments:

  1. And being 'only' a dog, she has no idea how lucky she is to have fallen on he r feet bless her.

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  2. Anonymous10:14 am

    Just nice.

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous10:15 am

      Btw, loved the village drone photos.

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    2. The drone thing was great fun Andrew, I want one

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  3. Oh I nearly cried reading this. My sister has a gorgeous bulldog, Lavender (or Lavvie) who has been raised with much love and care. 6 months ago she took on another - one that had lived all her life in a small cement floored cage in a backyard, abused and forced to breed over and over. A friend of my sis had broken her out of captivity but couldnt keep her, so she came to live with Lavvie. Sis named her Vivian (Vivvie) and I fell in love with her. Poor thing has severe anxiety, cowers if someone raises a hand or a voice and is desperate for love and attention. Yet she is the sweetest dog ever and I wanted her but she was better off with my sis and Lavvie for company.
    When I see your Dorothy I get just a little bit teary :)

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    1. They are divas anyway , bulldogs , natural performers

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  4. As the goddess of dog trainers, Barbara Woodhouse, once said: "One has to give a great deal of oneself to animals if one is to get the best out of them." She was not promoting bestiality.

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    1. Anonymous12:29 pm

      Trust you!
      Are you some sort of pervert?

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    2. Anonymous1:16 pm

      That's exactly what I wondered too! I'd say the answer is Yes.

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    3. I do find that naughty but funny YP you cheeky man x

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    4. He loves throwing grenades in does dear YP

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    5. I've known you a long time dear friend

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  5. You were meant for each other. You need her as much as she needs you.

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  6. And she knows a good thing when she she sees it, John. She is lucky to have you.

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  7. Owning a pet means knowing and showing unconditional love. While not rising to the challenges Dorothy presents, our own Rita Mae is high maintenance, with uncontrollable barking and licking, a fear of any loud or sudden noise, and the need to pounce with gusto on us at any moment. While it is not always easy to tolerate, we have no regrets making her part of our family. Your dogs are lucky fur kids, indeed.

    Sassybear
    www.idleeyesandadormy.com

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    1. High maintenance
      I have known a few men like that in my time

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  8. I hope for her sake that one day you will be able to say "she's a different dog to when she arrived"
    And I'm very happy that she's loved no matter what

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  9. She is lucky to have you.

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  10. let's face it, we bitches are just high maintenance! ask my spouse! :)

    have a loverly day, dorothy (and john)!

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    Replies
    1. Bitches are more more difficult than dogs , in my mind they are much more straight forward

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  11. A double-edged sword, this 'privilege' you experience of having each other, as we can well understand how much hard work it can be. I'm sure you demonstrate your reciprocal appreciation of each other, she in the only way she knows how, you by doing your best in whichever way.

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  12. Kindness and patience heals a lot of hurt.

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  13. I too have a dog that suffers from anxiety, possibly from being a stray when his previous owner died. I knew that taking on a rescued dog meant there could be problems.

    As my husband also suffers with anxiety life can sometimes be ' interesting ' but I married my husband for better or worse and I take my vows to husband and dog seriously. That doesn't mean there aren't times when I want to brain both of them.

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  14. It is in your nature. She sounds more human than some humans I know.

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  15. Having also been 'mum' to a damaged dog for 17 years (the first few truly challenging) I get where you are at. All of your girls are gorgeous and as for the cat, well what a handsome chap!

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    1. I've just treated him for fleas....it was a mamouth job..as he hates being touched

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    2. We now have a cat who is not that happy about flea drops either. When he first came to us as a stray I put a flea collar on him and he looked so p***ed off with it I removed it immediately and he hasn't worn one since (10+ years).

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  16. Heidi1:22 pm

    I've got an anxious rescue dog too. Things have improved over the years but he'll always be anxious to some extent.
    One thing I noticed John, Dorothy wears her harness in the house, have you tried leaving it off and only putting it on when she's going for a walk?
    My boy's anxiety levels went down noticeably when I took his harness off and he didn't wear it in the house. It's now associated with walks only. As he is very anxious outdoors I think he associated the harness with that, once 'undressed' he visibly relaxed indoors.

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    1. Heidi
      There is no difference . It's easier to keep it on as when trying to put it on her prior to walks she gets far too xcit

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    2. My little old Pomeranian wears his harness in the house all of the time.
      When I take it off to wash it or when it is off for his bath (it gets washed, separately) he keeps reminding me time after time that it is on the doorknob(where I hang it to dry). He comes and gets my attention and then runs back to the doorknob and looks at me to make sure that I know his harness is still on the doorknob, and he wants it back on again. He seems to love his harness.

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    3. Anonymous4:56 pm

      Of course harnesses are taken off - you don't wear your outdoor clothes inside!

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  17. Having many rescues over the years, I can fully relate! I know your warmth and kindness will prevail, and you will enjoy a devoted companion for many loving years.

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    1. I have waverered Val ,
      Especially when I was going through difficult times with the divorce

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  18. My little dog is exactly the same very nervous and has separation anxiety she’s a 3 year old Chinese crested powder puff, wouldn’t be without out. Heather

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    1. I'm lucky with the other dogs Dorothy doesn't suffer from separation anxiety

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  19. And you are her 'John' to love and adore ... even whilst on the toilet :-)

    I know the difference in a dog that is completely happy and secure in her skin, her life and her home, Suky. Compared to one that has been used and abused twice in her short life, Mavis.

    Suky believes the world is there to love and look after her and is totally surprised by anything that hurts or avoids her in any way. Mavis on the other hand thinks everything is out to get her, hurt her and make life bad. It's only when she's with us and people we know that she will completely relax.

    With Winnie and Mary's help you are slowly transforming Dorothy, even Albert will be helping just by being there.

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  20. My sister's dog came with a lot of anxieties, he's ten now and much better but there are still some issues. Dorothy is cute as a button, we would have taken your word for it regarding the loo, photo not necessary... lol.

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  21. I brought my thatch to join me and my others about 2 years ago from a dogs home and previously he lived outside with other dogs.He is difficult and at times I'm in despair and think I'm not doing a good job of dealing with him.I've had 12 one to ones with the dogs home and several private group walks with other dogs.I thought my top dog was a hand full but this one is more so.The dogs home said that many would have returned him.Luckily he loves my lily and he and the more recent romanian play rough and tumble together and teddy bear sticks up for himself most times.Life would be easier with a well behaved dog but I love the little monkey x

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    1. It's exasperating at times admittedly flis

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  22. Barbara Anne2:46 pm

    Our dear and beloved Basset Hound, Daisy, was a lost dog that we adopted, to our joy. The one worry she had that we could never fix was about food. Despite having her dog food and treats (plus plates to lick after we'd been allowed 20 minutes to eat - her inner clock!), she always stashed soggy dog food in corners, on dropped socks, or in shoes to have some "just in case".

    Bless Dorothy's dear heart and your's, too. You, Winnie, and Mary are good for Dorothy.

    Hugs!

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    1. Food love and guarding Is a very difficult habit to break

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  23. A friend of mine has a little Chihuahua. Every morning they get up and he goes to the loo, his dog does the same thing, only being small, his dog gets in the dropped drawers!!!!

    Dorothy is so adorable though.

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    1. Nothing worse than having a tiny chihuahua lol x

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  24. Early on in life taking care of hurt ones that would have been lost without my understanding became part of my life. When life itself caused me to become broken, too, being needed helped heal my wounds. Both you and Dorothy are fortunate to have each other...- Mary

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  25. That description so fits Smokie... he doesn;t like me to play with or even touch Lolly or The Hump. he gets between us in bed and usually up against me all night. Were the other two just sort find a place on our bed and fall asleep. and now that I;m working at home he sort stays downstris with me and is never to far away not to keep me within his eyline.... it's kinda nuts!

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    1. They are brittle little souls arnt they

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  26. The pet/human matching service in the sky did well with you and Dorothy (and the others, of course).

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  27. Dorothy is lucky to have someone who cares for her so devotedly. It sounds like she was very badly treated before she was fortunate enough to find you.

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    1. I think she has always been a nervous soul

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  28. A perfect match: the caregiver and one needing care

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    1. Like I said, I guess I need to be beeded

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  29. We have a pedigree girl chocolate lab, well researched by the OH. A JRT/Pug mix with an under bite and little legs from a farm, she is very nervous. If you try to pick her up she cringes and pees on the floor. The third one is a rescue Pappion inherited from my ex MIL (she was worried where he would go on her death. So I promised.) Poor lad is on his third home. I thought that he might bring problems, but no he behaves as if he always lived here. Including taking to the two cats. They all rub along quite well, sharing beds at times.
    You take on the broken ones and they help each other and the humans as well.

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    1. Yes the broken one is cushioned by the strong

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  30. I didn't realise Dorothy is so difficult and needed. Your description of her desperate brown eyes just broke my heart. I suppose her early years were damaging---will she ever improve, with your love and support? I suppose there's no way to know. Such a sad story.

    lizzy

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    1. Yes she was a handful from the beginning and very aggressive at times with Winnie and Albert
      That phase thankdpfully is now over

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    2. "needy" not needed/ typo.

      You are so good to take her in and love her. Is this one year with you, or two? How old is Dorothy?

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  31. our rescue dog has separation anxiety, even if I go out into the garden for 10 mins and come back it is the same as if I have been gone for days. You arent the only one who has a n audience in the toilet. Mine jumps up on the door handle and lets himself in. he then sits on the bath mat waiting for me. I can see a lot of dogs having anxiety when the lock down is over. Especially when people go back to work.

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  32. What was her previous home like? I'm sitting here looking at the picture of No 21, much smarter than dogs?

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  33. SpikesBestMate9:17 pm

    What a lovely photo - the one of Dorothy looking over your shoulder. It shows such trust and tolerance, you are obviously made for each other.

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    1. I took the photo soon after her arrival she needed contact so much

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  34. I have two dogs and one a spoodle x Cavoodle is very anxious and needs to be by my side wherever I go. She too pushes in if she thinks the other dog is getting attention when she isn't. She was bought as a puppy straight from the breeder so no previous ill treatment. I think it is just in her nature. One thing I have found that calms her a little is when she is wearing a jersey. Something about being wrapped in a dog jumper just eases her being so scatty and nervy all the time.

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  35. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. Trust you!
      Are you some sort of pervert?

      Delete
    2. I do think it may be so-Preferred payment-in and...please remove-thankyou

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    3. Anonymous3:04 pm

      And you too Flop?

      Delete
    4. Thank you-flop a lop

      Delete
  36. Itll pass mate, my two were traumatised when they first arrived , they have to be certain you're not going to abandon them

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  37. I have enjoyed reading all the heartfelt stories today I can't image my life without a dog and sometimes a cat as well I think they can be exasperating at times But we love them just the same.

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  38. I totally get that. My 2 cats are rescues, and Charlie still follows me to the loo at any hour to check I'm OK, then sleeps on the pillow next to me. Minouche is younger and flightier but can manage a vertical take off if you eg try to give her a flea treatment. But they are so loved and loving, and right now in lockdown they give me much-needed affection.

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  39. She's lucky to have you.

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  40. Lord, but she is sweet. Those eyes. Bless you.

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