A Stream Of Conciousness

I'm working night shifts this week to cover nurses who have had to put themselves into isolation .
Next week I am on holiday, though I suspect things may change if staff shortages continue.
Everything has changed in work, everything.
And emotions are running high.

In a fit of testosterone I went to B&Q  ( a hardware store for those that don't know) and bought paint and sugar soap and extra brushes .
The store was busy with people with similar plans
Next week I shall start painting my living room a gentle and relaxing vanilla yellow

I feel somewhat bombarded with information

Twitter seems awash with stoic and funny comments about isolation
But most have a sort of shocked desperation about them
Thank the lord for Justin Trudeau and his cute baby beard
I wish he was our Prime Minister.

Some of my family are scared of what will happen. The daily bulletins at 5 pm are teatime grenades
There was no dog food left in Sainsbury's yesterday
They don't mention that on the news.
I had a sausage bab in Mark's cafe yesterday.
There was only two of us in there and I still dribbled butter down my front.....

My friend Ben at work sounds as though he needs a pint. I hope to catch up with him and another workmate Ruth very soon. This is the first time since I worked in spinal Injuries that I've got friends at work.
Ben used to work under my husband.....
It's a small world.

I've just messaged the village pub to see if they do any takeaways?
It may be a source of revenue if taken up by hungry villagers

Theatr Clwyd and the Storyhouse in Chester are now shut, I know it sounds silly but I feel their loss rather acutely.

I'm on my break at work and it's 4.45 am
Briefly I stood outside a few minutes ago and let the cold air over West Shore perk me up.
A short line of mountain goats were picking their way down the Orme towards the hospice
and from somewhere a gull called out in the dark.

Everything feels , just a little surreal





78 comments:

  1. The whole world seems to be in a state of tension and anxiety. I can't even describe how it is right now here in the states. This is really a disaster of the kind we'd only see in a movie. I have a fear that this may be the "new normal" of our lives for the foreseeable future.

    Be safe my friend!

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  2. It is just the same in Australia. The uncertainty, the fear, the obsessive shopping, and doesn't everyone seem to wish for any government other the one we have. Keep safe everyone, and be kind to each other. That is something we can all do.
    Anne

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    1. "doesn't everyone seem to wish for any government other the one we have"

      Seems to be the one thing we all definitely feel acutely. I am in the States and ours is so bumbling it is scary.
      While I feel for those who have gotten ill, it is the whole of medical professionals, EMT's, Dr's, Nurses, CNA's, etc I feel the most for. They have to be beyond exhausted.

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  3. look after yourself John and stay safe x. You too 1st Man sending you hugs x

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  4. My daughter in Brisbane says the supermarket shelves are empty. Why are ours so well stocked? Maybe our time will come.

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  5. I feel like I'm living in a bad movie. Everything does seem surreal and it changes daily. Who would have thought just a month ago so much would be closed and we would be getting daily reports of the number of people infected and the number that have died. I'm ready to wake up now and be told it was all just a bad dream.

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  6. Would be a shade more tolerable if we had some inkling of when it's likely to end, but no one's got a clue, and that's nobody's fault. The last thing I need right now is to watch a horror film.

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    1. Same with books, Raybeard. I'm not going to read anything depressing!

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    2. I'm just (re-)reading the rather hefty tome of Joyce Grenfell's correspondence with her bosom friend, Virginia Graham. Quite uplifting it is, and just what I need - much of that positive outlook, even in stressed times, arising from her strong Christian Scientist belief. It's a tonic.

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  7. Everything feels VERY surreal. My job has been designated as essential, so it looks like a 7.5 mile walk each end of my night shifts. Not something to cherish but there's nothing else for it. I'm trying to stay calm and upbeat but it isn't easy especially when I'm worried about how I'm going to continue to feed the dog.

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    1. one winter I made a sort of thick stew for my dogs by boiling any meat or fish available in a big pot of rice then putting it in the refrigerator to cool. The dogs loved it and they were healthier than when fed most common dog foods, just something to consider in a pinch

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    2. For all of us who worry about feeding the dogs: years ago I spent a year in a third world country with my dog, who had grown up on kibble. As there was none to be had, I made his food daily using a base of rice and adding meat scraps and vegetable trimmings as available. Not only did he thrive, but a skin condition he'd had for more than a year cleared up. An uncle who bred large dogs always fed homemade food and used oatmeal as the base. There are many ways to feed our best friends.

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    3. Sorry about my original reply, it was after a not very pleasant night shift, the third of five. I am trying to stay positive and the number of individuals and groups trying to help is heartening.
      On the dog food front, I already feed her homemade food and Partner has managed to buy some chicken today!
      These are strange and unnerving times and we are in uncharted territory.
      Can I also say a 'thank you' to all for not dismissing my fear.

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    4. Anonymous4:34 pm

      You're welcome,Su,I agree that seeing people try to help is heartening. -Mary

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    5. I give my dogs porridge with meat and veg as well as tinned dog food.When I got my new rescue from Romania I was advised to feed him some added oats if he had loose motions- so I give them all porridge now x

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    6. Are rice/oats/veggies mixtures also okay for cats? I once had to put two very poorly kitties on a rice/chicken diet but sadly they did not pull through.

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    7. I have two dogs and two cats and while the dogs will eat almost anything the cats are meat eaters only. I think I read that cats are total carnivores and don't thrive on veg or grains.

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  8. It feels surreal because it is surreal. Really. You should have seen the toll roads in Chicago. You could actually drive! I think that the only hubbubs of activity are the grocery stores.
    Hopefully you guys will not run short of staff. Fingers crossed!

    XOXO

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  9. Smaller stores seem to be the place to go while everyone is panic buying at the supermarkets. Our tiny post office even has loo roll and paracetamol.
    Have you tried zooplus for pet supplies?
    Keep well. Xx

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  10. Difficult times John. Like living in a nightmare but you never wake up to normality.

    Keep safe - your skills will help so much, I am sure. I try and highlight any positives I hear about - the Japanese have found that a certain anti-flu drug developed is helping patients, and in India a combination of several including this one has made a difference. You can bet your bottom dollar there is a round the clock race to try and get a vaccine fully tested and into production - I have heard one's been tested on animals in San Francisco and is about to start human trials.

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    1. They began human trials a few days ago. Let's hope it is effective.

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  11. The pubs and restaurants in our village are all offering deliveries, the small cafes are struggling.

    Our family Whatsapp group was much used last night, it was set up to organise my mother's family birthday picnic in May which now will probably be postponed.

    Neighbours are looking out for neighbours. I delivered a game round to a mum with four young teens at home isolating as she put out an ask for games on Facebook.

    This is where social media is actually positive ! Stay well xx

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  12. Is "sausage bab" a euphemistic term for a turd? Good idea about "The Crown" doing takeaways. It is going to be exceedingly difficult for pubs to survive this nightmare.

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  13. I seem to be more anxious that the dog doesn't run out of food rather than us.

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  14. Some people will be eying up those tasty mountain goats then... while others may be eyeing up tasty looking dogs... while you will no longer need to rely on zombie apocalypse shows for a dose of fear... And for another does of fear just ponder that Donald Trump is in the role oft described as Leader of the Free World while the rest of them have got Putin and the old Chinese fella whose name escapes me. Still, the refreshing cool wind still blows in off the sea, the sun still shines and the Earth still spins. Good luck.

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    1. Xi Jinping. Let's hope he now bans all "wet markets" in China. The "wet market" in Wuhan has changed the world and not in good way.

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    2. My darling lily ran off for 45 minutes today even though we had been walking for one and half hours-it crossed my mind that she had been taken to eat.I phoned the ranger and they were on their way when suddenly she raced back to me thankfully x

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  15. The most surprising eateries here are now offering takeaway so I daresay your local pub will follow suit. It'll be the only way some businesses will keep afloat ... Of course, the only people who really saw this coming were the Doomsday Preppers. They must be laughing heartily from within their amply-stocked bunkers! Who'd have thought that the Walking Dead would turn out to be lifestyle how-to show?

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  16. On the one hand in 'normal' times it takes 12 - 18 months to produce a vaccine - and then you have to vaccinate 7 billion people. On the other, extraordinary times produce extraordinary efforts and scientists the wide world over will be working around the clock to develop one. When this is over there will be sadness at the loss of loved ones, but also relief - we'll hold an enormous, global street party to celebrate (that is if the shelves have been restocked with food!).The Scotch eggs are on you John.x

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  17. Our local pub has just announced it is doing takeaways and will deliver to addresses in town. They have to keep going somehow and we shall try to use them on a regular basis.

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  18. I am late going out today.I have had a card pushed through letterbox with offer of help which is so kind of the person who must live in about 20 houses away.I feel in a dream now with the apprehension of "the birds" film.I shall pull myself together and walk the dogs and hear the woodpeckers,see squirrelx,windflowers,smell the wild garlic and watch my dogs running and li!y racing ,splashing through the stream - carefree - lots of love xx

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  19. I am feeling very good having PM Trudeau as our leader in all this chaos. He is doing very well in spite of being in isolation at home with his wife (who has the virus/got it in London) and kids.
    Crazy times indeed.
    Take car, John.

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    1. Yes. Take car - not bus. Like Justin. Is he African?

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  20. I've declared myself "at home for the duration" due to asthma since Saturday. Howard is still working, riding a cargo bike to deliver, among many other things, pharmacy items to the housebound of Walthamstow. Given the frailties of some of the people he visits (sometimes their only visitor any given week), handwashing/wiping has been a habit for a long time, compounded by my nasty bout of conjunctivitis last month, not to mention standard biosecurity practices learnt from being around livestock.
    I've made a point to sow some kind of seed every day this week so far, from fancy Breton onions through to mustard & cress for the kitchen windowsill. The first batch of spuds go in this weekend. My intention is to keep us afloat, vegetables, herbs & fruit wise, plus a small surplus that can be shared if anyone in the street needs it.
    (The cat's got at least a month's worth of food & a well timed trip to Waitrose before the panic started means we have enough toilet roll till the end of the month. Will then be looking at youtube clips on papermaking to convert junkmail into something soft & flushable.)

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  21. "Everything feels just a little surreal" -- that's it, you've captured it exactly.

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  22. we have been living in chaos since january 21, 2017. and then it got worse.

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    1. Barbara Anne2:55 pm

      Frightening and woefully true.

      I'm outside Richmond.

      Hugs!

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  23. I am about to start singing from my balcony! Must be the Italian in me.

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  24. Not only do I have President Trump, but I also live in a deep red state where our governor HAS NOT YET called for statewide school closings, is opposed to reopening of the signup period for health insurance, and . . . need I go on? Because I'm immuno-compromised due to the medications I'm on for an auto-immune illness, I sequestered myself early, and my husband is being as careful as his temperament allows him. I figure, in this state, where many are still claiming this is a hoax and nothing much, I have to consider everyone I meet as someone who might already have it and be asymptomatic. I'm worried about businesses in my small town as well as people I love, but I've spent more time chatting with my normally busy adult daughters these last few days than I have in a long time. I've talked to friends. I'm working on the business side of writing. I'm taking walks and sometimes jogging outside through our small neighborhood. Neighbors are offering help to each other. It is surreal, but I keep trying to see the bright side, too.

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  25. Sometimes the most normal of things seem, at the same time, the most surreal. How can anything be normal under these circumstances?

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  26. It's surreal here, too, although lockdown of the country has been reassuring and extremely helpful in terms of services and supplies. Went grocery shopping yesterday and even bought toilet paper. Will be interesting to see if rules are adjusted after the initially proposed 15-day lockdown. We're sure it will be extended but we're hopeful some restrictions... like a walk on the beach... might be lifted. I don't know what sugar soap is, but it doesn't sound very testosterone laden.

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  27. It pleases me ever so much to know you now have a couple of friends where you work. I know what a gift that can be.

    There's nothing silly about acutely feeling the loss of the theater and storyhouse, I would have been surprised if it didn't affect you in that way.

    After I moved away from a city to the remote place I now live in watching DVD's of films I enjoy became precious to me. I don't know if you can do that , or if you want to. I find it really nice to have a friend come here to take a walk with me, share a meal and watch a show together ( all of which can be done outside with safe social distancing if need be) . - Mary

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  28. Umarım en kısa zamanda bu virüse karşı bir aşı geliştirilir... Dua ve umut ile...

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  29. A breath of fresh air revives body and spirit.
    Well done to you for all you do xx

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  30. Life as we know it has changed. I was so sad the library closed before I could make it there, but I have lots of quilting and craft supplies here to work on. I have been keeping an eye on our elderly neighbours and hoping for the best. So far we have food in the stores, but we are hundreds of miles from nowhere and that could change, as I have seen it happen several times due to natural disasters. Justin Trudeau and his govt have announced monies and plans for keeping us going, so I am thankful for that. I have a few friends that are stranded out in the big wide world and are trying to get home, that is a much bigger worry than anything I am dealing with right now. Everyone in Prince George is putting paper hearts in their windows, so parents can take their children for walks to "find" the hearts. Hope you find food for your dogs, and things to keep you busy during these stressful times.
    Barb

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  31. We are living in interesting times. The extra hours, and covering for others who are wise to stay clear of work, may help fill some needs. A little of that Karma coming your way. I am telecommuting for up to a month. I did a little grocery shopping and took one of the cars out for the first time in three weeks yesterday. When I finish my conference call this afternoon, I should take the other one out.

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  32. It does feel surreal. Our hospital is hopping because cancer doesn't take a holiday, nor does death I suppose.

    Take care my friend.

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  33. I ordered dogfood from Viovet on Tuesday and they had plenty then, whereas Pets At Home had none. That said its not been delivered yet, but due today or tomorrow. Or, buy lots of mince and make meatballs for the dogs, they will love them, wee bit of egg and some breadcrumbs will make them go further! xx

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  34. Barbara Anne3:02 pm

    It's surreal here, too, with little traffic and no loo rolls, tissues, or paper towels. I'm about to wash 3 of my dad's handkerchiefs for when the Kleenex are gone.

    Yes, walk outside and see all that hasn't changed. Spring has sprung in this hemisphere.

    Hugs!

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  35. The libraries are closed here. Yes, we have e-books, but not only is an e-reader not the same, they don't have half the titles I want. And my local yarn shop has closed, so I'm thrown entirely on my stash and YouTube for help. I'm not going to say I'm in free-fall, but my little world is certainly shaken.

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  36. It's going to be a very tough time ahead - pray, especially for Italy, and then the rest of us. Hopefully, there will be good things that come of this worldwide horror. I hope it will include people becoming kind again, less self-centered, companies less greedy. Manufacturing of just about everything needs to return to our own countries (definitely pharmaceuticals). . . . . . . in fact a whole new world order may occur - hopefully for the better - once our eyes are opened and, sadly for thousands, hearts have been broken from losing their loved ones.

    Dear John, and all readers, stay safe, be vigilant, and stay well.

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  37. My son and I watched the beginnings of virus spread in China. It hadn't hit outside of China yet. I told son to buy big bags of rice, beans, salt bacon, chicken, sugar, and other stuff we eat. I normally bulk shop once a month to last the whole month. Since retirement, I've been bulk shopping since I get paid once a month. I buy everything at first of month. So, it wasn't new bulk shopping except we just increase the size (bigger bag, etc.) goods we normally buy. Same at Costco. We call it our $200 store..it's about how much we spend each month there as we run out of things. Same with dog food. We bought an extra bag of dog and cat food and stocked up on can dog food. I supplement dog food with regular cooked food i.e. left overs. We heard about the virus in China in February so when we went shopping first week in March, we stocked up. Later we saw grocery stores empty and even Costco shelves were empty. I'm glad we, although the virus was far away at the time, had a gut feeling early on that the virus was going to spread rapidly with all the traveling by airlines between countries...never dreamed cruise ships would also be the culprit. We're set for at least three months so no worries here about food or pet food storages.

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    1. BTW we also bought big bottles of hand sanitizers, bottle of bleach, rubbing alcohol, vicks at Walmart as well as disinfectant wipes and Lysol. We had some on hand but we just bought extra...but not excessively hoarding...just extras. These should last a while. My kids call me a germaholic because I wash counter tops, floors, door knobs, dishes with Clorox. Been doing that since my kids were little and also because we have indoor dogs and you never know what they will bring into the house from their daily walk/exercise.

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  38. VERY surreal. I can't believe this is real life.

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  39. Anonymous6:52 pm

    you boomers are shutting down the entire economy because you're afraid of a flu. Seriously, can you boomers kill yourselves? You are the most selfish generation to ever exist. You don't give a shit about climate change, why should we young people give a shit if you get sick and die of some virus? I HOPE the virus gets much stronger and kills you all.

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    1. Bad vibes blocked and returned to sender

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    2. Anonymous11:22 pm

      One day you will be old and karma will ensure you're treated with the disdain you now treat others. When you're old think back on what a childish and immature arsehole you once were.

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    3. Go away dear and calm down

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    4. This troll comment is doing the rounds, someone is seriously deranged. Can't work out if it is an actual person, or a troll bot set to send out this rubbish electronically. Ignore.

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  40. Or- Gurgaon = gigantic gherkin-I fancy one of those x

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  41. I feel like I am in a bad movie. Nearly cried at our high street which seemed like it was closing down. Managed a coffee and cake a little Jewish cafe. Your descripton of the orme reminded me of childhood holidays. Xxstay safe

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  42. You’ve got that right . . . surreal . . .

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  43. Heathrt8:06 pm

    Via a Facebook message, the owners of 4 local nursing homes are asking if readers would like to send a postcard or letter to their residents. Visitors are restricted now. Thought of your postcard challenge John. It's a great idea. Have blank cards with chocolates or gin cocktails.
    One of our Granddaughter's last day at school tomorrow, no GCSE exams now. She has very mixed feelings.
    Happy to see the signs of spring in our small garden, have to enjoy small pleasures.

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  44. We live in a rural area and built our home in the middle of our 24 acres. We can’t even see our neighbors unless we are driving somewhere. As introverts we are coping nicely...so far. We have hobbies to indulge in, are retired, have money (not a lot, but just enough) that appears in our bank account from a pension, and have no pressing need to go anywhere. My most pressing problem is what to do with the continuous supply of eggs our hens are laying. There will soon be a ‘free eggs’ stand at the end of our driveway.
    Sorry to be so upbeat, but the sun came out today and I’m feeling hopeful.
    I’m the optimist in the family. Do what you can and appreciate the small moments. In a way, I see this as saving us from where our (US) government has been heading and refocusing us to be less divided.
    A few weeks from now my thoughts may all be bullshit.
    Good luck everyone. Hugs all around.

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  45. Our boy Trudeau is not bad compared to some. I don't see any real Churchillian leadership from world leaders. Our medical officer of health Bonnie Henry, is a class act but poor woman looks like she has aged overnight. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-bonnie-henry-is-a-calming-voice-in-a-sea-of-coronavirus-madness/

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  46. Surreal - the perfect work John. Today is the first day with no new cases in China they say - perhaps it will disappear more quickly than we anticipate.

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  47. I am hoping that the "shelter in place" works and that this is over quickly. Let's not forget to remain kind to one another(boomer, genXer, millenial and Z's. We all need each other. I am talking to you, anonymous!).

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  48. Anonymous10:02 pm

    There is a feeling of surrealness as if we actors playing a part. How is Mrs Trudeau recovering? I want to be first in line if the worst comes to the worst for her.

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  49. I dreamed the other night the pet store was out of cat food and litter. Or was it cat food or litter?

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  50. I‘ m so frightened for my family who have not isolated themselves like they should. I wish it was next year and this was over.

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  51. Yes, really quite surreal!

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  52. So much to take in and process it all I got up at 3 am and decided to clean out my spare room what the heck It feels like my mind is working over time. It is surreal
    John. Best wishes to all.

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  53. Your comment Used to work under my husband made me laugh.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes