The sad death of Caroline Flack has galvanised the ongoing debate about trolls and social media.
There is, I think, an underlying truth about some people that patrol the internet
And that is they feel vindicated to say exactly what they like on line,
Words and phrases that they would never say to anyone face to face.
The internet buffer allowing a type led Tourette's to be unleashed and unchecked.
I last lost my temper a week ago.
I was in the gents toilet in Sheffield's Lyceum Theatre and had just washed my hands when three giggling young women boldly walked in and stood next to the one occupied cubicle.
In front of them stood six men all in the process of having a wee.
I went off like a fire cracker
" How DARE YOU COME IN HERE, HOW DARE YOU! Get OUT! GET OUT! A MAN WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED INSIDE A WOMAN's TOILET GET OUT!!!!!!"
You get the gist
I had the three of them scuttling for the exit like panicked chickens and before anyone of you jump to their defence at the poor provision of lady's bogs in theatreland compared with the average size of a woman's bladder..All I will say is that ....I DONT CARE!!!!
(Btw I did note that in the Albert Hall , all of the toilets are multisex)
Privacy is privacy and men deserve it just as much as women regardless of the fact they can effectively wee into a hole in the wall...
Like those women in the theatre, or the man that can't control his Huskey dogs on the railway walkway. I am quite capable to say my piece, but I shall always do that to their face.
This ability to speak my mind has improved the older I get, but immaturity and low confidence or low self esteem is no excuse for trolling insults.
Trolls feel they have the right to say anything they want
They feel that they have the moral right to speak their own truth and I guarantee that they would never speak the shit they do online to anyone's face.
I guarantee it...
I'm sat in my favourite cafe , the one with the bad tempered barista .
I've got some small jobs to do
I've collected Albert's "rustic " bowl from pottery
I have to buy a belated birthday gift for my brother in law ( Ive decieded on some fresh steak and trimmings)
And I want to visit my aunt who is home from hospital
I bumped into labradoodle guy,again this morning. I think he is gay but I've gone off him as I caught him chainsmoking in his car!
It's a shame really,
I really did like his bobble hat
Is that a euphemism?!
ReplyDeleteHugs, Susan
lol I never looked
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ReplyDeleteI have a friend who says exactly what she thinks and oh how I envy her. Brought up a Methodist, although now a Humanist, I still have traits of Methodism and no way could I demand someone leave like you did. But well done you - it needed saying.
ReplyDeleteThat bowl is absolutely lovely - wish my name was Albert.
Love the bowl. Hate unisex toilets.
ReplyDeleteI had to look up who Caroline Flack was. How sad. Depression is such a dangerous disease.
ReplyDeleteGood on you for telling those young women to get out. I'm getting better at speaking my mind. On line people are anonymous and will say awful things. Young people are more likely to be cruel as well, I know I was when I was young, something I regret.
Good for you, with your toilets escapade. Equality for all. If there are going to be unisex toilets, then they need to be completely enclosed cubicles, with a good lock. Non of these with gaps above and below the doors and sides.
ReplyDeleteOur schools are not doing any favors to children with the goings on at the moment.
Too right shelly
DeleteAt one school I worked in the students loos were unisex and had a fountain hand wash in the centre of the area-I think it was to quell bullying though x
DeleteI agree: Never say anything online that you wouldn't say to a person's face. Period. End of story.
ReplyDeleteYeap!!!! But so many hide behind their anonymity
DeleteRudeness abounds!
ReplyDeleteThe young ladies might think twice before doing that again. I'm game for unisex as long as nobody is vulnerably exposed (ie open urinals).
Good for you. Some people have no common sense. They need to be told, just as you told them. I hope they learned an important lesson. Albert's bowl is great. I would not give up on Mr bobble hat. Smoking habits are meant to be broken and a good friend might just be the impetus. Don't we all have our vices? Susan
ReplyDeleteEver the optimist susan x
DeleteI don't like unisex toilets.
ReplyDeleteOnly in Ally mcbeal
DeleteI agree, those girls were out of line. However it's not so much the size of women's bladders as the size of the line sometimes for relieving them. I went to a continuing education conference once (I was a dental hygienist) where there was a very long line for the only women's restroom available and we were given just a short break. After making sure the men's room was empty and no men were waiting, a few of the women commandeered it for our use so we could get back to the conference without straggling in and disrupting it. We would never have just barged in like that.
ReplyDeleteUnisex cubicles for all is the answer
DeleteI went to the mens once on our road trip from D.C. to Pittsburgh. The line outside the ladies was a mile long and nobody was using the men's, so I check there was no-one there and asked the ladies in front of me if they wanted to go first, and then went myself. When I came out a cop was standing there and said "you could get arrested for doing that", so I told him I was terribly sorry but I suspect they didn't want me pissing on the floor either did they. Don't know why I got to be so cheeky but he just laughed!
Deletei find that all of my trolls are always anonymous. gutless jerks!
ReplyDeleteNo ... you have Ursula!
DeletePerfect response Marcia :-)
DeleteI did walk into the gents toilets in a bus station , in my defence I was not concentrating on where I was going ans never even noticed the urinals till I came out . I live in France and it is quite normal for women to have to walk past a urinal to reach a cubical .
ReplyDeleteThat's what you told the gendarme !!
DeleteI live in France too Sewing mamie and yes it's not uncommon to walk past the urinals. I still don't like it though!
DeleteAs someone who's never (yet?) used a unisex toilet, all I can say to your 'losing it' action is "WELL DONE!" I've always found it hard enough to wee when there are other men around anyway, or just one in the same place - but if women are there it would be totally pointless in my unzipping at all.
ReplyDeleteBtw: I'd never heard of this Caroline Flack figure until that original court case (or was that just the magistrate's stage?) - and promptly forgot about it afterwards - until, well, couple of days ago. Just reflects what TV I DON'T watch and what papers I DON'T read, I suppose. Still, undoubtedly very sad, though.
Yes......and I think it was a shame that only I said something
DeleteGood for you! I totally agree there would have been outrage if a gang of men had tried to do the same trick. I always say what I think, on many occasions the husband has said afterwards, do you think you should have taken a diplomacy tablet before uttering that pearl of wisdom LL? In my defence I can take it on the chin if it is coming the other way. Sad about the bobble hat man.
ReplyDeleteLX
He stank of smoke from 20 feet away 😠
DeleteHe may be having problems John-perhaps you could offer him a peppermint next time you chat and see if he elaborates x
DeleteLoll ever the optimist
DeleteI admire your gumption at speaking your mind and wish I was better at it. I have gone off in public before at people. A group of drunkards were cussing like sailors at a ballgame with young children around and I politely asked them not to. It escalated into a screaming match and upset my niece to the point of tears. People can be horrible.
ReplyDeleteMark....I think the older I get the more gumption I possess...is that fool Hardy ? Perhaps.......I loved your last blog..the trip looks fantastic x
DeleteAlbert's food dish is delightful!
ReplyDeleteIt's way too small but I'm going to use it as a spill dish
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Deletepretty bowl for albert!
ReplyDeleteNot bad for a first effort x
DeleteWhy can't everyone just be nice to one another, with decency and respect. No wonder you went off, and rightly so. Be wary though, for the very fact those who aren't nice could be despicable enough to retaliate.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Albert's bowl!!!!! Good job, John!
I find they get naaastier x
DeleteI once stupidly hurried into the loos with my dogs on the local park-I then realised it looked different and hurried out again-the main door was open and I didn't see the sign.I did the same on holiday as I got confused with the picture on the sign-I think it's because the figure on the sign has trousers on as I do and the ladies sign had a dress on x
ReplyDeleteAlbert's bowl is lovely, pottery is something I've never tried but I'm sure I couldn't make anything so good as your pony and dish.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame there are so many people who comment anonymously on blogs, most often unkindly. Kindness is something we could all put to better use, it costs nothing and doesn't hurt anyone.
I don't think I would have had the gumption to speak out as you did but I would have done a lot of tutting!
Shame about the bobble hat guy, smokers don't seem to realise they stink like an overfull ashtray. If you don't smoke yourself it can be very offputting and unattractive. I'm not a knitter but I'm sure there must be someone who could knit you a lovely warm and snug bobble hat?
Im looking fir a multi coloured one
DeleteLove Albert's bowl ! Tell us if he will eat from it or will he pass it by ?
ReplyDeleteGood for you on speaking your mind. I have been known to speak out here and there.
parsnip
Albert's bowl is delightful, you're very talented!
ReplyDeleteDo you never fear that your confrontations might escalate and you will be physically attacked in return? It also can't be healthy to get so angry? Walk away....
lizzy
Nope..i just open my.mouth....
DeleteThat mouth might get punched someday, tho of course we hope not!
DeleteAs long as the trolls are able to be anonymous, they can churn out the most extreme abuse and threats and get away with it.
ReplyDeleteGood for you telling the three women to butt out of the men's toilet. As you say, men would soon be removed from a women's toilet. And I don't agree with multi-sex toilets, there should always be separate toilets for women for personal safety reasons.
You have had trolls too like me nick.
DeleteWe need to push them out of social media
LOVE Albert's new bowl!
ReplyDeleteYes, what's fair for the goose is fair for the gander, eh? I've gotten less able to speak out as I get older because I worry more about getting injured as a result. I can't fight and I can't run away. I should try to be more brave.
Not all your trolls are anonymous though John - I see you've had to remove some posts from her again!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely love Albert's bowl - I think you could set up a second career being a potter! x
I know my big mouth will get me in trouble by way of a smack in the gob one day. BUT, if l see injustice l will say so, especially feckless behaviour towards children or animals.
ReplyDeleteTrolls ha! they sit in the broom cupboard under the stairs wearing last years underwear, unfit to be seen out in public, dolling out their vitriol, as my old mum used to say ' talk about me you're leaving some other fucker alone (she never said fucker, poetic licence doncha know)
Love Alberts bowl btw!
Tess xx
I went to Catholic school many years ago where to raise your hand and ask to leave the room to use the loo was frowned upon by a nun whose face could scare the s#&t out of you. If we had pain, we were told to suffer it up for the poor souls in purgatory. As a result, I have a very trained and patient bladder and can stay in long lines for the ladies room without having to embarrass myself and others in the men’s room.
ReplyDeleteWell thank you sister superior bladder muscle
DeleteI wish my bladder had half the fortitude of yours, Arleen!
DeleteI believe I'm one of those rarities that has no filter whatever the method of communication. I'm probably more offensive face to face.
ReplyDeleteIve experienced that filter
DeleteAnd I used to smoke 😂
DeleteLove Albert's bowl.
ReplyDeleteThank u x
DeleteGood on you for confronting those young women. I am not a fan of confrontation and normally avoid it at all costs but a few years ago I had a go at two giggling young women who thought it would be a lark to enter the men's changing room where I happened to be getting changed. Equality works both ways.
ReplyDeleteWomen are still not treated as equals
DeleteBut the toilet thing was and is a Nono
I love Albert's bowl! Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteYou are right women ask for equality and they should abid by equality.
ReplyDeleteEspecially as 6 willies were out at the same time
DeleteGreat bowl, nice color. Kindness is so simple, respect for others is free
ReplyDeleteSuccinctly put
DeleteWell what about when I say your accent is sexy or you're a cuddly bear or let's play gay nurse gives me a sponge bath, I would never say that to your face (because I'm shy). Does that count? ;D
ReplyDeleteGood for you John, you are correct, imagine a group of young men went into a women's washroom, the police would be called.
Lol you just did x
DeleteAlbert's new bowl is charming and so happy with the polka-dots and Albert's face. Applause!
ReplyDeleteYes, I speak my piece, too, when necessary. All those years working as a nurse got me used to saying what needed to be said to whoever needed to hear it.
Hugs!
Albert is one lucky fella! I also find the older I get the bolder I get. Won't let anyone walk all over me. Good job John!
ReplyDeleteI once wrote a piece questioning the 'fashion' for unisex loos, and received a lot of opposition, mostly from women in the USA; which surprised me. I love Albert's bowl.
ReplyDeleteIt’s always been the case that people are much less kind when they write. First it was nasty little notes and poison pen letters. Then email at work where colleagues would write what they’d never say in person. Random comments on video posts, blogs, and photos have taken it to a new extreme, and sadly, reality shows and the desperate need for fame don’t bring the results many people expect. And thanks for the photo; that at least makes me smile.
ReplyDeleteLove Albert's bowl … Ginger says could his be a tad more colourful please ;-)
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ReplyDeleteWe were at the Art Gallery of Nova Scotia earlier this month and when I visited their washroom facility it was 'open' to both sexes......no urinals at all.....just a few cubicles. I did feel strange at first. Something to get used to I guess. Yes....great job on Albert's bowl.
ReplyDelete