Thursday, 13 February 2020

Through Others' Eyes We See Ourselves


The title of today's post is a bastardising of Lev Vygotsky's famous
Through others we become Ourselves quote.
I was thinking about him on Tuesday on the way home from Sheffield.
He was a hot looking Russian psychologist who was photographed with a wonky shirt collar
I like to think he was my kind of guy.

Last night I bathed Mary.
I didn't really have time to do it.
Night shifts mean that there is a quick turn around of eat, shit, sleep and brush teeth before you do the same again, but her skin has been playing up of late and she needed some pamper time without the more ebullient Dorothy bouncing around in the foreground like a loon.


Mary watched me with somber brown eyes as I washed her
Welsh terriers watch you.
They sit and watch everything and all of mine have loved a hot bath where all they have to do is to stand and be pampered.

They watch you slightly worried that the stroking and the warmth and suds and happiness is going to stop and their eyes never leave yours.

It's the nearest moment I will ever to have to having a baby of my own



I met my friend John on Tuesday morning. He has been ill and now really doesn't " do" the more old fashioned Wine glasses into the wee small hours thing that we used to do.
But he looks well, and fit and as always, was dressed to impress
We have evolved as friends and now often meet for a long breakfast , with sausages and eggs and toast and tea ( coffee in my case) 
He hasn't the look of a Welsh terrier but like Joan Crawford's wisecracking best friend Ida in Mildred Pierce,
he misses nothing

I saw myself through his eyes on Tuesday.
It wasn't a rebuke, it was a reminder.
I was reminded just how nice my life is now.
My friends and family, my "new " career and new friends and colleagues . My home, my village, my theatre going, my choir......my life.........and... my health

Vygotsky's main work was in child development but his Through others we become ourselves quote rings true on so many levels
When John and I got up to go from the wine bar which now does fancy breakfasts for business folk, and as the snow fell on a grey but welcoming Sheffield City centre,
John turned to me with some exasperated affection and said
" You have tomato sauce down your front!" 

75 comments:

  1. And he loves you anyway. As we all do.

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  2. Barbara Anne5:20 am

    Bless John and you - no matter that tomato sauce was down your front!

    Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. To some, it would be a problem..lol

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  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. How nice to have a reminder of just how lovely your life is now. x

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  5. Sauce down your front just means you enjoyed your food

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  6. Yes, we need that reminder sometimes. Your post has done that for me this morning x

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  7. Good to hear that your life is now focused and pleasant. All you need now is one of those plastic baby bibs with the trough, in case of more ketchup.

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  8. You have some nice friends and a good life John. And some gorgeous dogs.

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  9. It was good to get some perspective on yourself, and reassuring that even though there have been so many changes and improvements the old John will always be there .. with sauce down his front 🙃😃🙃

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  10. Spot on post. (Ever thought of buying a reversible jumper?)

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  11. Breakfast sounds lovely, but I would have brown sauce down my front, not tomato ! Xx

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  12. Should've worn your bib

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    Replies
    1. I was sent one recently mave.....
      How's your foot ?

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    2. It's no good if you don't use it 😜

      Saw the DNs for the first redressing and they say it's looking great. They'll be here every Monday and Thursday from now until further notice. I just need a little more pain relief overnight to help me sleep. The hospital were mean and didn't send me home with any Oxycodone or Oramorph.

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    3. I wonder if you could be prescribed some of that NHS medical grade cannabis oil to try Mavis- it may help x

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    4. I could buy weed off the local dealer 😂

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    5. ....but that would require smoking 😢

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  13. Elsie does not enjoy a bath.Perhaps I don't have magic hands like you do. She does watch though. A lot.

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    Replies
    1. Only the bulldogs have hated the bath. All of my terriers have adored a bath. The hotter the better

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  14. Extra sauce! You have stacks of that John. Besides it just means you are a real live warm person; not perfect just you (and with extra dressing). Long may it reign! Take care Tricia x

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  15. Haha I like how somebody could see Vygotsky through this crystal. When you have read his theories for class, you never expect him to be quoted as life coach. But you're right. Sometimes we do need that look through other's eyes to realize what we have.
    Your doggie is adorable.

    XOXO

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    Replies
    1. His child development theories seem like common sense to me
      I've not read anything on his class theory

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  16. John, what a lovely post - it is so good to hear you say that your life is good now. I often say that to myself after losing the love of my life - albeit through death rather than some form of betrayal (which is in many ways much worse).

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  17. did you tell him the tomato sauce was already there when you arrived...haha! on a many levels, your life looks very idyllic.

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    1. Surprising as it may sound, I was clean and tidy when we first met

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  18. I love a man with tomato sauce

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  19. There are a million ways of saying it, but we have it good, happiness is an inside job. I never worry about a drip or a stain, I leave that to someone else.

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    1. Some people take those stains personally

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  20. How did John know it was tomato sauce? It might have been blood - caused perhaps by over-vigorous teeth brushing or tuberculosis.

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    1. Vygotsky died of tuberculosis , his strange you mention it

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  21. I'm so glad you're feeling better these days! xx

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  22. I ALWAYS get tomato sauce down me front. wear it proudly too. and dogs are better than human babies.

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  23. Always thought Vygotsky was underrated as a psychologist, and Piaget the opposite.

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    1. His ideas on child development makes complete sense to me, they always did

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  24. I learned long ago to never have red sauce when I go out to dinner.

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  25. Pelican bib.. I need one too

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    1. Or to be fed inside a child's paddling pool

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    2. -By a gorgeous man wearing nothing but a giant tie?! x

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  26. I love that idea -- "Through others we become ourselves." I haven't heard that before, at least not that I remember.

    Love the wonky collar. Weirdly endearing.

    It's nice that Mary enjoys her baths. Olga always acts like she's being punished, and she WILL NOT allow us to get her face wet.

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  27. This is a nice reminder to us all...that no matter how profound and touching you are, there will always be tomato sauce down your front.

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    1. Oh yes..........and paw prints on my work pants too today

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  28. You are a magnet for stains 🤣 XXXX

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    1. I've just had breakfast after waking up after night shift
      Egg down my front this time

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  30. Barbara Anne3:33 pm

    Long ago I read a quote from Paig Sayers of the Shetland Islands:
    "It is in the shelter of each other that people live."

    Isn't that lovely and so very true?

    Hugs!

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  31. Anonymous3:50 pm

    And just a year ago life for you seemed so uncertain - how very grateful you must be now for things to have finally turned around. See? Good things come to those who wait!
    May you enjoy life as it is now for years to come, and in good health!!! ♥♥♥

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    1. I still have down days...but i need to get a grip.of those

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  32. I never heard of this Vygotsky. I'm going to have to read up on him. As for the shirt collar, until I think the 1920s, you bought them separately from the shirt. On dress shirts anyway. That's why they stick up as they do. On more casual clothing they came attached and that eventually spread to formal and business attire.

    Eve Arden. One of my favorite scene stealers.

    As far as the tomato sauce on your shirt, I've had similar experiences with jelly donuts.

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  33. Anonymous4:22 pm

    On the sauce front l am banned (only by the family) from Ikea with their hot dogs.
    Just overdo the mustard and red sauce and l look like l am off to a gory Halloween Party.
    We enjoy our sauces with foodstuff, it's the others that need to get over it!
    p.s. Mary looks so sweet in the bath, hope you added some hot water and popped in after her, be alright with a few bubbles added.
    Tess xx

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    1. Their meatballs havea graphic splash back

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  34. I hadn't heard of Vygotsky either, but found another quote of his that I find interesting:

    "People with great passions, people who accomplish great deeds, people who possess strong feelings, even people with great minds and a strong personality, rarely come out of good little boys and girls."

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    1. I've read that one a while ago. Hummm

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  35. John, I'm so glad that you've reached a place where you can feel happy in your life. How we perceive our lot is as important as the facts of it.
    As for the sauce down the front... yes, that's me too. All too often!

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  36. John, I love hearing that your life is good. We have hoped and prayed it would be so. Little Mary is just beautiful and looks content in the bath, It's nice to know you are content also.

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  37. Lev Vygotsky is a "dish" John- he reminds me of my old vet.My lovely lily has an ongoing skin problem-I was concerned it was ringworm and she had scraping tested but the vet think it's an allergy.I am anxious about it and check her twice a day - bathe any soreness with salt water and use betafuse cream and malaseb shampoo if it is required.Any deterioration has to be checked by the vet as I'm terrified of Alabama rot.Oddly she doesn't scratch though x

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  38. Love hearing about your life.

    My son-in-law bathes one of their dogs in the shower with him. He gets in first with Max the terrier mix and washes him, then hands him out to Sue who dries the dog. Their other dog Gus is a hairy Chinese Crested with delicate skin, so they bathe him in the kitchen sink with special shampoo. Their dogs are their children!

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  39. I always have to giggle when you end a story with food down your shirt. It wouldn't be you John if this didn't happen !
    parsnip

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  40. For years I swore that wearing a white T-shirt attracted tomato stains. Yesterday I wore a dark colour and still had pizza sauce down my front. You are not alone.

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  41. What a lovely day in the life read John, reminds me of a radio show, covered so many basis, words of wisdom, a man an his dog, warm friendships and contentment.

    I haven't commented lately computer troubles but must say I so enjoyed reading about your dinner with friends what a fun evening that was.

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  42. This is such a happy report, John!

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