The abandoned cockerel was rehomed today.
He remained incredibly bad tempered and I had to employ the duck egg blue oven gloves again, to manhandle him back into his cardboard box, so violent was his spur covered karate feet..
An old chicken experienced contact of mine had agreed to take him on and half way to his farm this morning ( and on the A 55 expressway) the bugger started to kick his way out of his original cardboard box, much to the hysteria of the dogs who where bunched fearfully together in the opposite side of the back seat as the cockerel bellowed like bull.
I was forced to pull over in St Asaph and after a brief struggle I managed to hobble the cockerel with a dog lead then quieten him by pulling a hastily removed sock over his head.
He looked like the oddest of kidnap victims by the time we got to our destination
"Has he a name? "the gentleman farmer asked as he gave me my sock back with a look of incredulity
" Brexit !" I told him and in way of some explanation added " He arrived last Thursday night!
" That....doesn't bode well" the farmer sighed as he wrestled the cockerel under some sort of control
As I drove off, I could hear him yelling at Brexit as the pair headed towards a barn
" Whoooa yer bastard !"
What have I done , I thought
This afternoon, I met Cheryl who is an old friend from my psychiatry days for a long lunch in Chester
We have known each other over 34 years.
And we still can't take a proper selfie between us
omg...too funny. i hope brexit works for someone.
ReplyDeleteOh, your poor dogs! That must have been quite a scene in the car! Can you imagine if the bugger got loose in the backseat? Pandemonium! Love the sock strategy. You are a canny cock wrangler, John!
ReplyDeleteA canny cock wrangler eh?
DeleteHummmmm
You could of course add "Poultry Wrangling" to your CV? Well done you.
ReplyDeleteI prefer cock wrangling
DeleteIt covers more in a CV
Good job you weren't spotted by a curious policeman John-"everything ok there Sir?"-"just struggling with a cock officer!" x
ReplyDeleteYou have touched on an old fantasy there flis
DeleteIs it suitable to share with a lady John? x
DeleteAbsolutely not!!!
DeleteI fear Brexit may be soup by now!! x
ReplyDeleteThe farmer wanted a tough cockerel to oversee 12 new hens .
DeleteHe got one
How much did those specs cost you?
ReplyDelete50p
Deletelove poundland specs, I have some too - work in a call centre where many of us are cloned with them! Hope Brexit settles in and doesn't kick his way out.
ReplyDeleteNot my problem loll
DeleteNot that duck egg blue oven glove again, and was the sock part of a nice pair, what is it coming too! Should have taken Albert along for the ride, bet Brexit would have sat nicely looking out of the car window sucking a travel sweet if you had!
ReplyDeleteHope you don't get a phone call from the St Asaph area
Tess xx
I've used the sock thing before..works wonders
DeleteThis made my day..karate feet Cockerel wonderful
ReplyDeleteThe cockerels have 1 inch spurs that can cause a nasty injury if they slash you.
DeleteOh my what an adventure those poor dogs, fun chapter for that book John !!!
ReplyDeleteI shudder to think what would have happened if the bastard had escaped
Deletebrilliant!
ReplyDeleteI don't think that gentleman farmer is going to thank you in the long run. I had a good laugh at your sock trick, though.
ReplyDeleteAll hens go still when blindfolded
DeleteI had a pair of neighbours come to welcome us to the (farm) neighbourhood back in 1990. One fellow had a feed sack over his shoulder and the other had beers. As they plopped down on the grass for a friendly chat, fellow one dropped the sack to the ground and a gaggle of chickens and one very attractive rooster burst loose. We were never able to round up the poor birds, but the rooster hung around for the longest time. He would tap at the kitchen door in the mornings so we would throw him some cereal. We named him Cornflake.
ReplyDeleteWe only get litters of kittens dumped at the end of hte lane these days...
Why do people do this? I haven't had hens for two years now
DeleteIt was kind of you to find a home for Brexit. I hope he settles down a bit for his new caretaker but it sounds like the gentleman has his hands full!
ReplyDeleteHe's pragmatic ....an aggressive cockerel will calm down especially as you hold him firmly under one arm and walk around with him
DeleteYou always find a way to make your hair-raising situations fun for the rest of us - thanks for that!
ReplyDeleteAlways a story x
DeleteSo many bad jokes, so little time. Glad you got Brexit into good hands.
ReplyDeleteHe was lucky
DeleteCockerel - seems like a most apt name for the rasty blighter.
ReplyDeleteStuffed into a Kellogg's cornflakes box, no wonder the poor lad was bad tempered.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand people who seem to always load their troubles onto others, surely they could have asked you if you could help with the unwanted cockerel, rather than just dumping him on you.
I bet he's a good crower :)
~Jo
I suspect his testosterone got himself abandoned in the first place
DeleteIt's alright John, the roosters you had recently were bantams and this one wasn't, not every gay man can handle a big c.. oh wait.. you have dozens of sweet little old ladies reading this, I must behave.
ReplyDeleteI've had my moments young man !!!
DeleteAptly named, indeed! You're so right in imagining the worst had Brexit gotten out of the box while in Bluebell. It doesn't bear thinking about. It's good to know he's someone else's problem now. :)
ReplyDeleteReading your blogs is always a educational experience.
Hugs!
Lol thank u babs
Deletewell, John, that made me laugh out loud. I imagine that rooster will end up being dinner.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great Brexit story and name! The kidnap victim image is hilarious. I do love your animal stories.
ReplyDeleteSelfie tips: hold the camera further way then crop the photo? Take a bunch of pics and choose the best one?
lizzy
Thank u lizzy, they amuse me
DeleteIn the United States Army, those glasses are known as "BC" glasses. Stands for "birth control". That fiesty
ReplyDeletebird will end his days in gravy.
I have you know I've recently clicked with a guy who rather liked them
DeleteI have the same Poundland glasses which I bought last week when the girl in Specsavers whispered to me to go over to Poundland opposite to get them. I like it that you saw your friend today.
ReplyDeleteIt was a lovely lunch
DeleteHa... "Should've gone across the road to Poundland" is a nice reworking of the tedious and irritating Specsavers ad-line. Mind you, I reckon Specsavers are better than Poundland at the free NHS eye tests and examinations that are surely a good idea for all (in the UK... or, getting mildly political for a moment, perhaps that should now be the DisunitedK).
DeleteSurely you didn't cram him back in that cornflake box? Poor bugger.
ReplyDeleteIt was a large cardboard box which carried cornflakes boxes
DeleteYou’ve got to eat a huge amount of cornflakes to get a cock’s carry case.
ReplyDeleteLX
I'll have to think about that
DeleteYou manhandled a rooster. With blue gloves. I need a video of that because it sounds like extra fun.
ReplyDeleteManaging cocks is hard, baby.
And that selfie is way too cute!
XoXo
You are a sweetie
DeletePerhaps the farmer will have to interpret Johnson's endless election slogan as an instruction - "Get Brexit Done!" and then eat him.
ReplyDeleteI don't usually snort when I laugh. But Brexit made me do it.
ReplyDeleteBonnie in Minneapolis
I'm glad you explained to an earlier commenter that it wasn't an actual cornflake box, but the box that cornflake boxes came in. I was thinking he must have been a very small rooster - but sometimes those are the nastiest! Was it actually your sock that you were just wearing, that you pulled off and put over his head? -Jenn
ReplyDeleteI am scared witless by loose cockerels. Ever since I was attacked by one, at the age of 5. I was chasing the hen and chicks around, and the cockerel jumped on my back and shredded both my t-shirt and my skin. I also a very great respect for ganders and drakes - the drakes around here take on the sulphur crested cockatoos (on average half as big again as the ducks). The drakes try to clear the entire playing field but the cockatoos, rosellas, kookaburras et al just ignore them!
ReplyDeleteMany Thanks for the shared this informative and interesting post with me.
ReplyDeleteSlither 2020 | Copter io 2020| Yohoho 2020
So, we now know that you keep a spare sock in the car, in case of unruly Chicken.
ReplyDeleteI love your blogs John. Please do you have a link to the photo of the girl shouting into the wind as I would really like to get a copy of it to put up at home. Not sure where to get one.
ReplyDeleteJust put " Mongolian girl and camel into Google
DeletePoor, poor Brexit! (Words I would never have imagined me uttering!)
ReplyDeleteOh God, poor Brexit, first dumped in a cereal box then manhandled by a raving loony in oven gloves and then having his head forced into a smelly sock … at least his future with a flock of new wives looks promising.
ReplyDeleteOnly kidding, you did well. This just proves yet again that you need to write a diary style book. We would all buy at least two copies :-)
A perfect name. And that selfie is the best I’ve seen. May you both never perfect that skill.
ReplyDeleteJohn, if I didn't have you to read every morning, my day just wouldn't be the same. You are a gem.
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteI was keeping a perfectly straight face till you mentioned putting a sock over his head, "the oddest of kidnap victims". Let out a howl of laughter and now my cats won't talk to me.
ReplyDeleteLol
Delete