Thursday, 23 January 2020

Ally


A little while ago a patient asked me if I had a bucket list of my own
They died a day after our conversation 

" I want to have the confidence to be able to dance spontantiously in public" 
I told her

"Like they did on Ally McBeal" 
She replied

Understanding perfectly 

and we both did a version of this silly dance
In her sideroom
Me in my uniform and she in her pyjamas





50 comments:

  1. Brilliant John. I bet you made her day. Its the little things that mean a lot (the most) as well as cuddles. You have a big heart. xx

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    1. She made my day
      That's what the post is about today

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    2. And you gave happiness too

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  2. You cheered me up as well. thank you for that. Dance is a beautiful form of expression that comes from the soul xx

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    1. No, you just have to find your natural rhythm and groove. When you are in the house on your own, put the radio on or some music you like and as you go around the house allow yourself to move to the music anyway you choose. The dogs might bark a bit and Albert may get a bit twitchy but in your own space and without people making you uncomfy you will find it. My Dad used to throw me around the lounge dancing to Top of the Pops on a Sunday night. We wrecked a carpet three times in the process. Long story I am not the greatest dancer but it is about enjoying the music and expressing yourself. What you did for your patient was a lovely thing and you enjoyed what she did for you too. No room for regrets John go for it and do those things that please you xx

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  3. This will surprise you John, I have learnt to dance and fell in love with it, that long haired biker has twinkle toes hahaha, well the hair is not so long now, lovely story

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    1. I have read of you and your wife's joy of dancing chris...quite lovely

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  4. How touching. I am seeing the two of you dancing, and it's beautiful.

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  5. When my time's up,I would like to go dancing John x

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  6. it's such a miraculous thing to be around people at the end.

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  7. How wonderful that you were able to give her last day on Earth a pure joy moment. You were blessed to be able to participate in that. Your empathy for those near the end is a gift. I admire you very much.

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    1. She had asked me , my bucket wish ...how lovely of her

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  8. Oh yes, that is how I want to go - dancing out of life, perhaps a tango.

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  9. Shake what ever you have, I read someplace recently, dance like a two year old, start the music and they just move to it.

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  10. How amazing that in her very last day, this woman was able to reach out and show care and interest for another person. (I want to be like that at the end!)
    ...And what a gift that you were that person and could respond in kind.

    P.S. I've been reading you for a little while now but never commented before--was just that moved by Barry White, I guess! :)

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  11. This is very touching. I'm glad you and she "got" each other and had that dance.

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  12. I've given up trying not to look like a pratt when dancing; I just go for it.

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  13. What a lovely thing that you both "got it" at the same time. Wonderful that at a time where she was ailing she still found joy in life and you will remember it and her fondly.

    Jo in Auckland

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  14. What a joyous moment for you both I'm sure her next of kin would have been happy to hear that she went out dancing.
    It was the week of Christmas when the care home my mom was in had a get together and a piano player and a volunteer guitar player, she did not know me except for the person who bought her chocolate each week, I got her up to dance and she remembered every step in the rhythm of the music, she died that week but I treasure that memory and remember how she was before her dementia a lovely dancer.

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  15. Get up and do it John. You gave your patient great pleasure that day - don't wait until your last day. You might feel a prat but nobody looking at you will think you are - they'll just think 'wish I dare do that'.

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  16. How wonderful and lovely you both connected in compassion and fun!

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  17. These are the moments that matter, connecting with another just for fun.

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  18. I agree with Weaver. Don't wait. I have a lot more confidence now that I'm an old codger! Apparently women over the age of 50 become invisible so now when I'm having a bad hair day or dancing at a wedding I just tell myself Im invisible, no one can see me! It helps!! A very touching moment you had. You did good. x

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  19. I loved reading about you and your patient dancing. It's wonderful that she got to go dancing one more time. Your writing is beautiful.

    I hope you will just give dancing in public a try. Sometime you and a friend could go to a club with a crowded dance floor, wait until everyone's dancing,then wait a little while longer until everyone dancing is slightly drunk, in the meantime have a little, not much, tequila or vodka while you wait. Then look around and ask your friend or someone else to dance, if they refuse, ask someone else. Remember, everyone else is dancing, half drunk, checking their phone, or wishing someone would ask them to dance. Just dance and have fun. Don't worry that you are being judged, if someone is sitting there, watching you and judging, they are a loser. Please just try it once. Most likely you will enjoy it, once you realize that you are not in the spotlight, and it truly is so much fun. If you discover it's not fun for you, after all,just don't go back again, but do give it a try at least once or twice.

    I missed out on many years of dancing and having fun because of my fear that people would laugh and make fun of the way I danced. I am sorry now about missing out on dancing until I was in my 40's, when I finally went ahead and danced. Thankfully, I did give it a try and had so much fun dancing. Hopefully, you will give it a try too.

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  20. This post has touched me in quite a wonderful way. How lovely to be able to enjoy a last dance whether it be silly or not. You are such a lovely man John. You will be etched on the memories that people carry on to the other side... whatever is beyond

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  21. Singing and dancing brings such joy when you let yourself go. How lovely to share with your patient.

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  22. I don’t believe in bucket lists but yours is the perfect response for someone who knows for certain they don’t have the luxury of time to complete theirs. This might just BE my bucket list... if I have any have one. My philosophical response t9 that question wouldn’t make anyone laugh.

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  23. Every day needs to be lived at its best.
    And wouldn't it be awesome that people could just break into dance when the music plays?

    XOXO

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  24. Everyone should get up and dance. Sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else having a laugh can make you feel left out so I always think it’s best to get up and throw yourself about ...... it doesn’t matter a jot what you look like .... no ones watching anyway ..... they are all concentrating on their own ‘ dad moves ‘ XXXX

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  25. I'm sure the knowledge of the joy you brought her and the recognition of the joy she brought you, too, will remain with you a long time.

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  26. Anonymous12:46 pm

    I love this post John, thank you so much for giving some frivolity and fun to this lady.
    The song 'Dance with my father' by Luther Vandross always brings me to tears when it it played. I used to stand on my dads feet and he would waltz me around as a child.
    We should all dance, even alone just jiggin' in the Kitchin' it's great excercise.
    Tess xx

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  27. Awesome, John. I always dance in my garden, particularly when I wear my Ipod and hear a great song. Keep it up.

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  28. I love dancing and I miss Ally McBeal. I used to enjoy the show, in part because of the dancing and the music. I've haven't danced in years but I recently started again. I love Queen and I dance for my grandson. He loves it and no judgement:)

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  29. I love to dance like no-one is watching … but only when no-one is watching … lol :-)

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    1. I wish I had this man's courage... he really gets into it at the .20 second mark. He's actually very good!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPhXZQFBeEE

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  30. Barbara Anne3:53 pm

    What a lovely gift you gave to that patient in participating and bring joy to her dwindling life. Yes, she touched you, too, but you gave of yourself right back.

    You can now dance in your home and remember.

    Hugs!

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  31. Great post John, the clip made me smile and your moment with that person was priceless.

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  32. I wish there was another show like Ally McBeal. Like the music, have a cd of the music —-Robert Dowling Jr singing “Every step you take, I’ll be watching you”

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