Sex in the fridge

I was sat in the hospice staff canteen picking at my tasteless mircrowaved meal when my phone beeped
It was Trendy Carol who was probably wearing something expensive and festive in green and red..................
..the text sounded all breathless and excited!!!
" A Fortnum & Mason's food package has been delivered for you.....it's TOO BIG TO GO INTO YOUR FRIDGE!" 
I nearly wet myself....

Seven hours later and I've just unwrapped three bespoke scotch eggs!!!
Massively hidden away in the cool green packaging of F&M

I've just eaten the smoked streaky bacon Scotch Egg with its sexy as fuck runny yoke!
It was better than sex
It was better than sex with a young Russell Crowe
It was
Glorious!!!
Thank you claire
You made my very long day x

54 comments:

  1. Barbara Anne9:15 pm

    Another wonderful and perfect gift for you! What bliss, warm hands AND 3 Scotch eggs. You are well loved - enjoy it all.

    Hugs!

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  2. What a sweet person Claire is to send you this! The perfect gift for you! You have many, many friends John. Enjoy.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Wow John!-did you bother to use a napkin or were you carefree and just let it dribble all down your chin?-how lovely x

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    Replies
    1. I just pushed it in with both hands

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    2. Gorgeous-gobble gobble x

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  5. Now THAT is the perfect gift!

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  6. Fabulous, indulge and enjoy

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  7. I know you have an oversized gob but not even you can insert a yoke in your mouth, darling x

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  8. You and your scotch eggs. I have never had one but theY look odd. And BETTER THEN SEX?!?!?!?!?!?!

    We need to get you laid my dear friend!!!!! LOL!

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  9. I do so want one of these! They look so damned delicious! I'm in the US, but wonder if they can be ordered online? Off to find out....

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  10. Sounds like she made your whole long year! I'm very glad I've just eaten before reading this.

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  11. Very nice of Claire!

    Off topic, but I love how you always describe what Trendy Carol is wearing . . . even if you have to make it up, like today! lol

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  12. What a winner of a gift! Claire is not only generous but thoughtful.

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  13. you are one very lucky guy!

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  14. Yummy! On I'm sorry I Haven't a Clue today they read a quote from "Mrs Trellis in Wales". How funny!

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  15. I've made these when we've has a surplus of eggs, wondrous easy to make, but even more wondrous when made for you! Wrapped in bacon would be a winner for me...

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    Replies
    1. Actually could be I'd prefer just the bacon wrapping instead of sausage..?

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  16. Oh, John! I need that yolk to be hard to be sexy.
    Have not read the run up to comments to this, so I don't know if anyone has already made the obvious yolk. Which I didn't, by the way. xxoo, Joanne

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  17. Love that card and the gift. And of course you didn't waste any of that treat by dribbling it down your front.

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  18. Claire you send a terrific gift. The card was just the best ! ! !
    parsnip

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  19. "Better than sex with a young Russell Crowe"?!?! My gawd, you DO love quality Scotch eggs! Seriously, what a very generous gift of seasonal friendship!

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  20. Couldn’t happen to a nicer yoke... oops, I mean bloke!

    LX

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  21. What a lovely considerate gift of friendship and Scotch Eggs.

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  22. Claire8:23 am

    Glad you enjoyed them John, they looked as delicious as I'd hoped xx

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    Replies
    1. You are a lovely human being Claire! What a super kind thing to do - especially at a time when John has been feeling rather low.

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    2. Bloody bloody lovely claire
      You absolute star xx

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  23. Perfection, Claire knows you so well ♥️

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  24. How lovely, well deserved for giving your readers so much pleasure. Love Jan Bx.

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  25. It was quite passable then? :-)

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  26. What a great gift.

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  27. Anonymous11:32 am

    Wonder how many of your legions of fans and followers have googled 'scoth eggs'
    Or even scotch eggs at Fortnuns?, why F and M may even have had a rush of orders placed as a result of this post and l am not joking!.
    They do look delish though.
    Tess x

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  28. I have never seen such a thing. It looks not as good as sex but I am willing to try both in a double blind study and see

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  30. who knew a scotch egg could cause so much delight! Happy Christmas.

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  31. Tweetart6:26 pm

    What a kind, thoughtful person Claire is, and the perfect gift for you, I’m sure you’ll enjoy every mouthful.

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  32. They look fabulous! I'm one mile from The Nest, HQ of The Handmade Scotch Egg Company. I suspect those are made by them! Enjoy the eggs, and a Happy a Christmas xxx

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