On paper my divorce may be finalised before Christmas, I've been contacting my mediator
this morning
The only link that will remain between my ex husband and I will be my friendship with his nephew Leo.
an odd friendship which centres around geeky tv and film reviews
Its his birthday in a few weeks or so
I've already had his birthday list sent to me this morning!
That tickled me.
It's a good job I'm pretty good with remembering dates and birthdays!
Dotty woke me up this morning at 7.20am
When the dawn hits, she wakes up and very slowly starts to perform CPR on my chest in a determined effort to rouse me.
She's small but is built like Miriam Margolyes and so even a few minutes lie in would be impossible.
I was walking the dogs down the railway track shortly after 7.30am
Since breakfast at 8.30 am I've been sat with a bucket of coffee at the kitchen table organising my calendar. I am off work for a week and divorce needs chasing up, bills need to be paid and pre Christmas meets have to be sorted with friends.
I'm juggling shifts at the hospice, mindful that I am now working all over Christmas.
I was talking to my friend Nige yesterday who gets irritated by the married middle classes
He's single and feels singletons' struggles to having to sort things out by themselves are never really acknowledged by anyone.
I see his point
So says I.. busily texting the sexy bearded dog walker to see if he can take the girls over night in December so that I can see Nuala then Sitges John in London and the Sheffield lot before Crimbo!
Life is a juggling act for all of us for sure
but being single does underline that you have to rely on yourself for the everyday things.
Having said this I have to acknowledge help when it comes
Trendy Carol and her hubby have been stars where the dogs have been concerned and this weekend I was happy at delivering a small hamper of goodies for both of them to enjoy.
A small thank you for the score of evenings when Winnie has trashed their trendy space age conservatory scatter cushions.
BING! sexy bearded dog walker has just messaged with a YES he can take the girls overnight in December and BONG the mediator has just emailed saying she will chase things up today....
It's 10.27 am and I so need my second bucket of coffee.
There are more empty boxes than ticked ones on my to do list
BING!!!! the water board has just texted and wants to come to sort my meter out...BING!!! gorgeous Dave can play badminton this week!!!
BING!!!!!! the botoxed and lovely Halifax building society Lianne wants to know what the delay is with my mortgage paperwork!
Thank Goodness I now have some time to tick some of these boxes
Lists i love lists don't you? I love the satisfaction of ticking off the boxes when something is done. Have a good week off John... Hugs! deb
ReplyDeleteIve always loved and loved making lists...." to do"
DeleteI do so wish to catch up with you..it's a year nearly since we met and I'm beginning slowly to come out of my 'not fit to see people' slump. xx
ReplyDeleteIs it that long?
DeleteYes I too am feeling better......I'm not angry my husband left just sad and hurt by the way he did it
Always feels good to tick things off your list, and I'm glad to hear that your list include some 'fun' stuff, not just the chores. It makes no difference when it happens, but psychologically it would be good for you to start the new year with the divorce and mortgage done and dusted, so I hope it all happens for you.
ReplyDeleteYes a new start is right .. I hope the decree absolute happens soon
Deletewell you have spurred me to make a to do list this morning! just done a weekly shop (it was quicker to go and get it than ponder online and have delivered, who knew!)
ReplyDeleteWay to go betty
DeleteEnjoy your week off work! Too bad the animals won't let you sleep in but maybe you can sneak a nap or two in the afternoons.
ReplyDeleteI did go back to bed on Sunday and got up at 11.30 am!!!!
DeleteI make lists all the time and ticking items off is such a great pleasure and so satisfying. At my age, it is better than sex.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the smile.
DeleteLove this !
DeleteMake a list of what you miss sexwise!
Deleteits good to have lots of things for over the whole of December, with it being dark and cold, best to get out there and attack life, whether it be work or dates with friends. Good for you! My calendar is not as full yet, but I am waiting like a trapped animal for the sign to go up that I can buy Hogmanay tickets. I am determined to know some of the dances!
ReplyDeleteToday I booked my London trip which includes a visit to thechristmas lights at Kew gardens
Deleteohh that sounds lovely John!
DeleteAt the turn of the century you should have been stirring your stumps to this particular dance hit. That is if you had been a proper gay 😂
ReplyDeleteTurn up the volume and shake your arse dear. Boxes need ticking.
https://youtu.be/rayRY_1peUE (The Bongo Song - Safri Duo)
Video not found mave!!!
DeleteThat's unsurprising 😂
DeleteNige is right about the faff of having to sort everything out yourself. I'm well aware of how much easier things are having a partner to discuss them with (or even solve the problem).
ReplyDeleteYes...it's a hidden but genuine gripe
DeleteGood to get those boxes ticked x
ReplyDeletei live with lists. it's the only way i can function. it's great that you have a week off. how are you liking the new job?
ReplyDeleteI'm loving the work.its hard and a challenge but I'm enjoying it. My co workers nurses, doctors and housekeepers are all welcoming and lovely
DeleteEven phoning in sick to work is difficult as a singleton! If I'm sick enough not to go into work then talking to people on the phone is not easy either, throw into that mix my stroppy manager who believes that migraine (my usual reason for sickness) is 'a bit of a headache'.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, enjoy your week off work at least the sun is shining today.
I never thought of this , but yes.....some aspects of being a singleton are tough
DeleteLook at you being all efficient and getting things done! You should be quite proud of yourself, John.
ReplyDeleteI like a plan dearheart
DeleteI, too, live with lists and have been known (only to myself) to do something that's not on the list ... then add it to the list and check it off. Too true.
ReplyDeleteLovely fish bowl on your kitchen table. :)
Keep on keeping on. You're doing well!
Hugs!
It was a gift last year x
DeleteMy first entry into any list Barbara Anne is something I have already done so I can tick it off immediately. Makes me feel so much better hahaha.
DeleteJo in Auckland
I would love to share my home with Miriam Margolyes- well perhaps it wouldn't be such a good idea after all x
ReplyDeleteWell things would be noises and rather smutty if you did
Deleteget those holiday plans squared away NOW!
ReplyDeleteNeed a bit more money
Delete
ReplyDeleteHave you been enjoying smooth trading by transferring the money into your Binance wallet so that you don't have to go through the process of transferring the amount from your bank account to Binance wallet again and again? But unfortunately your wallet doesn't reflect the amount that was there in your Binance wallet? Don't panic your money is not lost and the money will reflect back once you seek the help of Binance support number. They take care of such problems on daily basis and they are best support in this state of crisis. So dial the number and get the solution.
By Golly! There's some fantastic advice.. Oh I can't find the number to ring. Drat and double drat!
DeleteI'm wondering if your friend Nige is annoyed because he's not amongst the married middle classes. Maybe he should just be grateful.
ReplyDeleteHe's not a fan
DeleteI think he'd have them all shot
I like this bing and bong post:) Now I really must get on with my own list of things to get sorted. x
ReplyDeleteBing bong
DeleteI know precisely what you mean about being single and having to do it all yourself. Now I am widowed (for the second time but I was much younger last time) there is nobody to even change a light bulb, I have managed to cultivate one or two really kind men to help with various jobs I can't manage but in some areas I am pretty helpless I am sad to say.
ReplyDeleteHelpless... you seem anythingbut in my head weave xx
DeleteBetter to rely on oneself and get things done, than to have a useless partner who lies on the sofa , watching Seinfeld, while you work your butt off! You can be proud of being self sufficient instead, John.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was married I did most of the practical things anyway lizzy
DeleteGetting things done is uplifting. I rather like working at Christmas and have a couple of wonderful memories from those shifts.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind working Christmas , I didn't last year and wish I had
DeleteBING...and hurrah.
ReplyDeleteBong!!
DeleteAnd all that before 11am on a Monday! Amazing! John on wheels, and flying! Great start to the week. Youngman! Up and at 'em! X
ReplyDeleteI'm superman x
DeleteThink I knew that already!
DeleteHooray for ticked boxes.
ReplyDeleteI always put something on my to-do list that I know I CAN achieve so that I can feel better about myself as I tick it off.
A good list is critical to my functioning! You are smart to plan your good stuff along with the "musts".
ReplyDeleteAlthough I always did everything in connection with the house I do miss having someone with me. I know what you are saying. We are far from being useless wimps but it is a frequent reminder that we are on our own.
ReplyDeleteI think just occasionally it's nice to say
Delete" can you just...?"
and have a friendly voice say
" yes"
Or "I did this today and now it is sorted" and someone to say "Oh good, thanks".
DeleteUnderstood
DeleteAs I've gotten older and my memory isn't what it once was I've taken to writing recurring tasks in a computerized calendar so they come up every day and remind me, for instance, to turn my phone on.
ReplyDeleteI'd forget to turn it on
DeleteLOL!
DeleteYes, having to sort out everything that needs doing takes some getting used to. I'm getting there but would like someone to make me a coffee and cook me a meal now and again.
ReplyDeleteLists can either satisfy or overwhelm in my experience, but an ordered house is better than the alternative. New beginnings loom. A trip to kew with lights is wholey enviable. You are built for hospice work and all will benefit as a result. Total faith John. btw forgot to ask over coffee, did you have lavetera in the garden? My nana was a bugger for pinching twigs from stately homes and the like on coach trips, we had a flourishing mass of the stuff for years thanks to bodnant! Hwyl Suz x
ReplyDeleteYes i have a lavetera i nota
ReplyDeleteFan
Forgot to say lovely photo of m margolyse, fabulous lady x
ReplyDeleteJust be thankful it's not Miriam performing on your chest!!! X
ReplyDeleteJohn, I'm very sorry to hear about your divorce.
ReplyDeleteOld news polly....or it will be very soon .....
DeleteOld news...or at least it will be soon
DeleteAh yes, when you are on your own you do have to be quite organised. I use a Bullet Journal, it can be set up in any size book and can be as plain and functional or Arty farty as you want...Utube have varied good setup instructions to get you started.
ReplyDeleteDivorce, first year shite then you fly fee knowing you survived.
Just a few weeks to wait
DeleteBING !!! Look at you go John x
ReplyDeleteOh, the satisfaction of ticking things off!
ReplyDeleteGlad you can tick things off of your list. My divorce was finalized right before Christmas of 2017, but I didn't get the papers until January 8. It was difficult, but it is also a new fresh beginning!
ReplyDeleteI resent the holidays I worked, because “they had children” and I didn’t.
ReplyDeleteHave a good relaxing week off and may all your lists have more 'Bings' than 'Bongs'.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're keeping up with Leo. It seems like adding insult to injury that a divorce affects all the other relationships that two people shared.
ReplyDeleteOoh a proper list with proper little boxes, your organisational skills are improving by the day 🙂
ReplyDeleteYou'll be young, free and single by Christmas (well two out of three ain't bad😉). Nuala and Sitges John will be pleased to help you celebrate ♥️
I could use some bing bing bings today. Lots in the woks and nothing making progress. It’s awful how the divorce paperwork drags on.
ReplyDelete