Monday, 7 October 2019

Piss Pocket


We all know there is a connection between the mental and the physical
My constant colds and flu over the last 18 months is a testament to the stressors caused by separation and divorce.
Last night I came down with a particularly nasty urine infection
I know what caused it.......self inflicted dehydration during two long shifts at work coupled with stress caused by the final legal push to keep my own name on the cottage deeds.
The legal process has been laborious and the stress of waiting for things to happen has made me ill yet again.
I don't need the bother of sickness, frequency and discomfort
Last night I was on the loo every two hours
Today I have taken antibiotics and have flushed through the bugs with gallons of water
And I have taken the obligatory container of piss to the labstix tested at the surgery .

I'd lost my pee container overnight and so had to piss into a hastily cleaned out vitamin  C container before going to see the practice nurse .
I was early for my appointment and so I popped the container into my coat pocket and went to the supermarket for some provisions and as I stood in the queue waiting to be served a bloke behind me tapped me on the shoulder and told me I was leaking!
My container of pee had come undone in my best coat pocket and piss was merrily splashing into the floor from the lowest corner.
I left my foodstuffs on the counter with a few embarrassed huffs and hurried out , leaving a tail of piss behind me
I smelled like an old bag lady by the time I got to the doctors.

55 comments:

  1. It could only happen to you John 🥴

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    1. Hope you're soon feeling much better 🙂

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    2. Antibiotics taken and working

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  2. This story is like watching someone else have cramp. You know you shouldn't laugh but...

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    1. .....but someone dripping piss is hilarious x

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  3. I know it can help to develop a Trump and Johnson attitude towards legal matters, i.e. untouchability, but leaking pee isn't quite the right way to do it.

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  4. Oh no John,how awful- hope one day in the future when you look back you are able to see the funny side.Once I was in the vets with my dog and I had to give him her urine sample and inside my bag were 2 containers, one belonging to my dog and other mine to take straight after to my doctor and I said to him I musn't mix them up.Keep drinking the water John x

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  5. Bladder infections are so horrid....I suffered for years. Keeping hydrated is a must to stay healthy.

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  6. Oh dear god. I don't know anyone else who has these stories to tell. You are definitely one of a kind.

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    1. Thank goodness it wasn't a stool sample

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    2. I seem to remember you left the last stool sample (luckily a dog's one) at the antique centre 🤣🤣

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    3. Indeed I did well remembered x

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  7. I feel your pain. I once had to take stool samples for the 5 members of our family, every other day for weeks to our local environmental health office as my daughter had salmonella typhimurium as a child. One Day I put my hand in the bag to find one of the lids had come off.....yuk!

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  8. Stress does get to you... sometimes when the stress cause has gone.
    It is so easy to make sure that everyone else drinks enough...

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    Replies
    1. Yes.....I'm now taking a litre of bottled water to work

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  9. "Mr Gray, I don't wish to alarm you but there are very high concentrations of Vitamin C in your urine. Have you by any chance eaten around two hundred oranges in the last twenty four hours?"

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  10. For an intelligent and resourceful man you have a terrible lack of forethought when depositing excreta in your pockets. Full dog poo bags, bottles of piss.....used condoms next?

    There are some who would pay top dollar to splash in your piss.

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  11. it's probably a good idea when putting piss in your pocket to check the lid....or put it in a ziplock bag in case it leaks...just sayin'.

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  12. Oh, John. I hope your stress is now diminishing, horrible things to have - keep drinking plenty.

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    1. Yes still waiting for the legal stuff to be sorted

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  13. Lordy, I'd chalk this day up as a bad job and go back to bed.

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    Replies
    1. I'm going to have a doze on the couch shortly

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  14. What are you like!!!

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  15. Barbara Anne2:50 pm

    As Roseanne Rosannadanna's father was fond of saying, "It's always something ..." So true.

    Sorry about the misery of a UTI and your lovely coat but I had to laugh but you do tell a good story. Hope the cleaners can save your coat.

    Hugs!

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  16. Oh bugger! Well look on the bright side, at least it wasn't a stool sample that slipped out x

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  17. To the chap who brought the 'leakage' to your attention the quickfire response could have been "Don't worry. I'm only taking the piss." But we always think of the perfect answer AFTERwards, don't we? I certainly do.

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  18. Your legal issues seem to be dragging on for ever. Hopefully it will all be resolved soon and you will truly be the king of your castle!! Drink, drink lots of water. Have you tried taking probiotics?

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  19. I just need to ask :Are you taking the piss 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣hope you get well soon 👍👍

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  20. Seems to me this is not the first excretia incident for you---what was it, doggy stool sample rolling around the car dash? Two words, Ziploc Baggy!

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  21. Time to start looking after yourself......now that 'things' have settled down somewhat.

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  22. Good laugh this morning followed by sympathy for the UTI misery.

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  23. It'll be a tad embarrassing when you take the coat to be cleaned and have to tell them what kind of stain to get out! Say it was from the pets.

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  24. I am so embarrassed for you. I hope all this stress can soon be ended.

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  25. a bad day, but you will look back and laugh :)

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  26. John I am sure you are right about the relationship between stress of it all and all the colds etc. you are getting. As for the pee episode - and least you told the tale in such a way that I couldn't help laughing - it could only happen to you. x

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  27. Oh lordy! Thank you for the chuckle but I sympathize and hope your infection clears quickly :)

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  28. Oh god, it's like a bunch of nightmares all wrapped up together.

    Sadly, I can agree with the result of grief being physical misery..
    Those people that told me that I would get through it and be stronger for it were annoying but they might have been right too.

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  29. Good grief! What rotten luck. I hope this finds you feeling better. I too haven't had a healthy month. I think the stress from school this year as played into it. Feel better soon!

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  30. I have deep compassion for the condition of being human. Take care, get some sleep, and laugh at the rest.

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  32. A good thing which has stopped a UTI developing further when difficult to get a prescription for antibiotics quickly - A Vogel's Uva Ursi and Echinacea drops taken half hourly until symptoms relieve then spreading out the dosages. Works a treat. I keep a bottle in the house as it's very difficult to get a quick appointment with a GP.

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