Despite the Sexy Bearded Dog Walker attending to one particular Welsh Terrier and Bulldog when I am at work, one aforementioned bulldog has acted out her displeasure at not having me on hand 24/7 by trashing the cottage population of scatter cushions and chair throws as effectively as Die Hard's Bruce Willis kills English terrorists!
Even the trendy little armchair in the kitchen has had its cushions deftly removed and every one in the house, some 15 in total, have been flung about during what I can only surmise as a tantrum of gigantic proportions
Tonight I came home just before 9pm and stood in the doorway surveying the damage
Mary looked guilty
Even the innocent Albert hung his head in shame
Winnie just gave me a dirty look and when I pointed to the nearest cushion lying only six inches from my feet, she snorted loudly and kicked a sweet embroidered homemade button pillow with a heavy and very angry foot!
It sailed through the air like a rugby ball
Hell hath no fury as a Bulldog Bitch Scorned
Oh dear...at least you know exactly what they think..
ReplyDeleteNow after I've fed her and walked her and kissed her , she Is lying with her big fat face on my lap fast asleep x
DeleteIt is nice to be missed when you are not there. We feel the same way when you don’t post to the blog every day.
ReplyDeleteS bucks be care about being too nice to me
DeleteI do believe that Winnie thinks she's your wife now and the Mrs. is not well pleased!
ReplyDeleteShe has always felt entitled ....from her first day here
DeletePoor Winnie.
ReplyDeletePoor Winnie nothing... she's a diva
DeletePerhaps it was a game and they had fun while you weren't there.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was sexy bearded dog walker guy ?
DeleteDogs play don't they? It doesn't have to be bad reasons
DeleteWinnie hadn't played for two years
DeleteWhat about Mary? Frisky Mary
DeleteShe was looking for a lost cocktail sausage.
ReplyDeleteGood point well made
Deletejust tell her it's how you pay for the cottage so she doesn't have to move. she'll understand. or not.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I was going to say!
DeleteI had a rant for a minute
DeleteShe just sniffed and faced the wall
Poor girl,she misses you bless her.I'm sure she would help tidy the cottage with you now you are back,but she only has little doggy paws x
ReplyDeleteYeah right !
DeleteCan't you take Winnie and Mary to work with you? The presence of the dogs will bring joy into the hearts of the hospice patients as they approach the pearly gates.
ReplyDeleteYes, I've already taken Mary in ....she was a great hit
DeleteWell, closing the barn door and all that; but have you ever thought of crating them while you're away? Most dogs get used to it and don't mind -- they just sleep.
ReplyDeleteLaughs
DeleteToo long to be in a crate... ....I don't really mind tom xx
DeleteWell, I guess she's not shy about telling you that you are missed! Hopefully you are surviving the long shifts.
ReplyDeleteStill can't comment on your block mick xx
DeleteI felt guilty crating a puppy for three hours to keep him safe. How in the world could somebody crate dogs for 12 hour shifts? And they wouldn't mind? Some life that would be! I agree. Laughs!!! At the very idea.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am home she only moves a tiny bit for the occasional walk, wee and poo..... now I do that distance with her in the morning before work
DeleteYou need a wireless surveillance camera, connected to your smart phone, and then you can check in on them throughout your work shift, and give them a little reassuring talk ..
ReplyDeleteJo
It will all settle down
DeleteMaybe you'll have to put some of your (best)cushions away so she can't make such a mess. I reckon she moved them because she thought you was hiding behind them! Peekaboo!!!
ReplyDeleteMy best one is covered in hairy bum stains
DeleteThey are called scatter cushions are they not? They are there to be scattered.
ReplyDeleteA point well made
DeleteHow eloquent of Winnie, Mary, and Albert (certainly he's totally innocent as all cats are). You belong with them as they've let you know.
ReplyDeleteHope the couch parasites (think: Steve in Coupling) survived the onslaught.
Hugs!
I love that analogy I loved that analogy x
DeleteHahaha, I wondered if the kids would act out, that's a long time to be home alone. Do they like to watch TV? Leave lights on too. My pug does this if left longer than 3 hours, he throws the seat and back cushions off the sofas too. And I consider him a well behaved doggy. I like to think ''It could be worse'', he used to pee on my bed, copious amounts of pee. I 'd layer clear shower curtains on the bed---he'd pee on them too.
ReplyDeleteProb they'll settle down soon. [close your bedroom door when you leave tho.]
lizzy
It will settle down tonight I took all three ( including Albert in tow) to the Churchyard where we sat and shared a roast chicken breast
DeleteLucky she's mostly gum and not fangs otherwise you'd have a cottage full of feathers!
ReplyDeleteOh bless her huge heart... I wonder how long after the dog walker left and you didn't return it happened. I can just see her standing waiting at the door, waiting, waiting, waiting...RIGHT that's it...flounces around the cottage like the Diva you said she was and wrecks havoc with all the cushions...I can imagine Albert looking on in disgust hahaha... but Mary hmmm she probably joined in the fun.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland
An apple never falls far from the tree
ReplyDeleteYou know there is something amiss when they aren't jumping for joy when you come through the door they all look guilty, but I bet they had a fun time tossing the pillows around and those faces are hard to resist.
ReplyDeleteLovely that you took all three to the churchyard for a treat lovely way to end the day John, they are bound to get used to the new routine.
Are you sure it was Winnie? Mary may not be happy either.
ReplyDeletePut some calming music on or talk radio when you are gone. Maybe that will help. I always leave the radio on for my cat when I leave the house. I think that a little bit of noise is comforting for pets, but cats really don't give a crap! They live in their own little world!
Well, she certainly told YOU off in no uncertain terms!
ReplyDeleteShe's a drama queen:)
ReplyDeleteOh, boy! They don’t leave you in any doubt do they! The radio on might help, and I’ve heard of a tv station in America (where else🙄) that is especially for pets left alone! About not being able to comment on a blog, I had the same trouble with your blogs, when google was just not hooking me in, then suddenly all is well again... I wonder if it was something about needing to download the latest version of something or other.... perhaps ...
ReplyDeleteouch
ReplyDeleteBetter than my childhood dog who would deliberately pee on the oriental carpet in the front hall every time we left the house for more than an hour. Eventually it left a bleached spot.
ReplyDeleteI hope they all went to bed with no story, and no Horlicks.
ReplyDeleteWhat a hissy fit she threw. Lol
ReplyDeleteCali G
In all conscience there's only one thing you can do - resign your work and stay at home. It's simply a question of priorities. It's what I'd do - and blow the consequences.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry but this is so funny.
ReplyDelete'Suma only does something like this when I see - she wants to have attention then. When she is left home, she mainly just sleeps (but she's never alone, because my oldest is at home). But when I'm gone overnight or longer, she is sulking me afterwards.
Well at least Winnie is beyond having a little 'dust up' with Mary involviñg scatter cushions. You might have returned to a sea of kapok, feathers, zips and fabric everywhere!
ReplyDeleteTess x
What a Diva, I love Winnie x
ReplyDeleteThey'll be happy that you have a couple of days off now.
ReplyDeleteAll of your wages will go to replacing soft furnishings 🤣
ReplyDeleteDo you think they will settle down after a while John ? XXXX
Yes, bulldogs are notorious divas...
Deletewhy don't you hide some sausages around the place before you go out and they'll think this is a great new game you're playing! The place won't be any tidier on your return but at least you'll know they had fun looking!! Might cost you in sausages though. Don't you love that you are so loved that a tantrum was had cos you left?! Gave me a laugh anyway! x
ReplyDeleteShe must have been exhausted after all of that pillow tossing.
ReplyDeleteOh My Gosh.
ReplyDeleteWell you know I do hate passive aggressive. Winnie is at least direct.
ReplyDelete