" My" nephew Leo has Aspergers
We communicate by text, which can be hard sometimes as the interaction is factual, short, precise and to the point.
Everything I am not.
I value these little bursts of words
Last week came the enigmatic sentence "Do you watch Arrow?"
I scratched my head, but worked out quicksticks that it was some sort of superhero tv show
"It's very good!" Came the back up comment....
End of interaction.
I've become to enjoy the contact and now see it for what it is.
I miss him.
It's bank holiday weekend and I've organised sod all.
I need to save money as I now have to pay for a dog walker up to three days a week and the prospective walker is due to come around to interview me .
They are flexible enough to give Mary a proper midday walk during my three weekly 12 hour shifts and seem bolshy enough to be able to order Winnie off the couch and into the back garden for a wazz when she doesn't really want to go
But they don't come cheap .
The joys of single living!
Winnie is presently doing her Jewish Momma guilt thing after watching me shampoo the front room carpets after her middle of the night pee accident.
I have not said a word to her, knowing fully that her own guilt at the situation is penance enough.
For the last hour she has sat uncomfortably next to the kitchen fridge with her head pointing to the wall.
This guilt pose will last , at least another hour or more and when I emptied the fetid brown contents of the shampooer down the kitchen sink. She let out an audible, self flagellating sigh!
It looks like a hot day again. Yesterday I cleared mountains of 'going over' buddliea and pruned the bushes hard.
It was smelly, sweaty work and all I craved was sitting in some shady city cafe with a flat white and the papers.
I will do that next weekend in Liverpool. I'm meeting my friend Simon for lunch there.
The city is not renown for its beauty , but my friend has captured some of its more impressive elements
We communicate by text, which can be hard sometimes as the interaction is factual, short, precise and to the point.
Everything I am not.
I value these little bursts of words
Last week came the enigmatic sentence "Do you watch Arrow?"
I scratched my head, but worked out quicksticks that it was some sort of superhero tv show
"It's very good!" Came the back up comment....
End of interaction.
I've become to enjoy the contact and now see it for what it is.
I miss him.
It's bank holiday weekend and I've organised sod all.
I need to save money as I now have to pay for a dog walker up to three days a week and the prospective walker is due to come around to interview me .
They are flexible enough to give Mary a proper midday walk during my three weekly 12 hour shifts and seem bolshy enough to be able to order Winnie off the couch and into the back garden for a wazz when she doesn't really want to go
But they don't come cheap .
The joys of single living!
I have not said a word to her, knowing fully that her own guilt at the situation is penance enough.
For the last hour she has sat uncomfortably next to the kitchen fridge with her head pointing to the wall.
This guilt pose will last , at least another hour or more and when I emptied the fetid brown contents of the shampooer down the kitchen sink. She let out an audible, self flagellating sigh!
It looks like a hot day again. Yesterday I cleared mountains of 'going over' buddliea and pruned the bushes hard.
It was smelly, sweaty work and all I craved was sitting in some shady city cafe with a flat white and the papers.
I will do that next weekend in Liverpool. I'm meeting my friend Simon for lunch there.
The city is not renown for its beauty , but my friend has captured some of its more impressive elements
It's 10.45 am and the dog sitter is due shortly....Winnie has stopped sulking in the kitchen but has now flounced onto the sofa like Scarlett O'Hara.
I wonder if he knows what he is letting himself into
Hey ho
Aah, the joys of elderly dog ownership! I'm on the fourth load of washing this morning due to a 'leaky' dog!
ReplyDeleteTo be fair this sort of thing is a rarity
DeleteAnd don't they let us know. We have a Jack Russell called Missy. She is 11 years of age and manages to communicate what she wants. She is in control of her humans (namely me and OH) and although pampered is a genuinely loving dog. Just looking at her makes us smile as she always seems to be laughing. She also has her moodies and harumps and sighs and gets stroppy with OH. Not so much me as these days I tend to be the one with her. Love them and enjoy them whilst we have them as they are the best with their unconditional love. Missy now has arthritis and is not as mobile as she was but she is stilly enjoying life. Perhaps a nip of sausage might bring Winnie out of her trounce. They do get embarrassed though Hopefully the dog walker will be up to snuff Take care John. These little adjustments xx
ReplyDeleteI think because it was hot last night Winnie drank a massive drink then just not be arsed dealing with the overnight consequences
DeleteBless her. Missy is the same. They don't like it though x
DeleteStep-daughter's cat shat in her £2,500 designer handbag the other day. I mean RIGHT in it.
ReplyDeleteThat takes some doing, I have enough problems sitting on an average toilet seat
DeleteIt is a very small cat. About a quarter of the size of your arse.
DeleteWoke the other night at 3 am to a thunderstorm and the liquid gurgle of dog vomit being deposited on carpet. Miss Chef slept through the entire phone-illuminated cleanup. Lucky girl to be a heavy sleeper.
ReplyDeleteLovely picture that has just been painted x
DeleteYou are not doing a good job at selling dog ownership.
ReplyDeleteI know it might seem odd, or not, but if dogs didn't need to shit I wouldn't be averse to, say, a German Shepard/Alsation (grew up with one, black). In my immediate neighbourhood there is a Blue Staffie. Theeee most beautiful dog. Both in looks and temperament. Literally an incredible dog. Judging by the look on his face - quite the philosopher. Taking the perks of his status with stoic indifference. Love him.
U
Not trying to sell anything
DeleteOld dogs , like old humans , have accidents
You get used to dealing with the shit and the benefits of living with a dog outweigh it many times over. Reminds me of a joke I overheard 'If two animals go out for a walk together and one picks up the other's poo and puts it in a bag...which one is the boss?'
DeleteCharlotte, I take your word for it ["benefits ... outweigh"}. And totally sympathize. However, and for me it's a big however, there is one "problem" I have with dogs in general. It's me, not the dog. The problem? Dogs, unlike cats, tend to look at you with their big eyes, pleading, wanting something. What do they want? A walk, a ball thrown to be retrieved, attention in general? It's so beyond me. Having said that if I were handed an abandoned puppy I'd take it in, bend over backwards and buy a pooper scooper for my sins. But boy oh boy oh boy I do find the "needy" difficult to deal with.
DeleteTo put it another way: Any dog I have ever come across makes me feel lacking. If a human being gave me that vibe I'd be running - in the opposite direction. Please do let me know what you think.
U
My dog makes me feel loved! There's nothing like a furry friend jumping with delight when you come home to make you feel good. But yes,if you have a dog, you do have responsibility for their needs and it's good you recognise that.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteXx
DeleteI see your nephew's communication method..it's how I communicate with my four offspring and them with me..that and messenger..When you text you see exactly what you are saying, and exactly what the reply is. Then you have no surprises and can consider your response calmly with no pressure. You also can see what you said in the past and no mistakes or mis-hearing.
ReplyDeleteIt works..although it leaves non-Aspies a little annoyed, sometimes exasperated."why don't you just talk?"...hang on to what links you have xx
With his aspergers I have to remember not to be too frivolous . He doesn't get it
DeleteWe take words literally..jokes are difficult!
DeleteI have an Autistic friend whose texts are rather sweet.
ReplyDeleteWould Winnie pee on a newspaper or is that way too beneath her dignity ?!
She's generally not a problem, last night was a one off me thinks
DeleteWinnie does look like she is being too ashamed to look you in the face. Sometimes our little black Fuzzy Pomeranian manages to have a tiny little cling-on poo that falls off somewhere in the house. He will not rest until he alerts us of its presence on the floor. Back and forth he goes, from us to the tiny turd, trying to get our attention before we step on the offending item. Only after we notice and pick it up, dispose of it, and wipe the floor can he finally relax.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, if he wees on the floor near the door to mark his territory, I always know because he gets a look on his face that causes the whites of his eyes to show, and he acts very guilty. I believe this not so much of an "accident" happens when the pretty foxy looking female Pomeranian that lives at the neighbor's behind us is in season. I think that if Fuzzy could talk he would say that he had felt the Call of the Wild and was hoping that foxy Pomeranian would come over and see him sometime. Hopefully, soon.
Sorry Fuzzy, that's not happening.
Winnie hates to make a mess
DeleteThough scattering every cushion in the house seems to be her passion
That Pup of yours is a trick isn't she. I love the head turned away bit.
ReplyDeleteIt's the inner diva... the dog walker has just been around and she has soon perked up
DeleteCould Winnie and Mary not sleep in the kitchen in dog baskets at night? The kitchen floor looks easier to mop up rather than shampooing carpets. Perhaps though if their routine is being allowed in the sitting room at night it may upset Winnie. But, just a thought.
ReplyDeleteHow very dare you! Winnie on a dog basket?
DeleteShe would pack up and leave home
couldn't stop laughing
DeleteI wonder if texts are easier for Leo, than spoken words? Technology often enables ability. The 12 hour days will be hard, but you will be home 4 days a week. Day shifts or overnight?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely right... I think he's very comfortable in text speak
Deletepoor winnie...if i peed on the rug i would be devastated and embarrassed too. however, i would have to clean it up myself which would be worse. i bet the pups might enjoy having a dog walker. my pups get very excited when someone new pays special attention to them.
ReplyDeleteHe had eating out of his hand
DeleteLiverpool visited by us a few weeks ago was very nice. I wonder where the idea that it is not came from? Just because it was a working class town? Help, I need somebody. Help, not just not anybody....When I was younger, so much younger than today.... Sorry, it is a bit late here Saturday night.
ReplyDeleteIt was the international city of culture a few years back and things changed a great deal about then
DeleteJohn I had a company walk Tess and Tess was not happy because she went with other dogs. Then I found a lady who lives a few doors away from me. They adore one another and they go off happily - often for several hours - for the same fee but now I am totally happy about the situation. So if at first you don't succeed - look around for a change. Hope it works out.
ReplyDeleteWell it's one less thing to worry about, in the meantime I can look for a cheaper alternative
DeleteIt will be fine...I remember long ago dropping off my new baby boy when I had to return to work...most of my work day was tear filled.
ReplyDeleteOh well
DeleteI'm sure the dog walker will work out well but It's a shame you can't work out a reciprocal arrangement with someone so you walk their dogs on your days off for free.
ReplyDeleteModern world problems I guess
DeleteOne of my dogs regularly wees and poos during the evening even though he has been outside.I've had him a year and he seemed frightened of the dark.He didn't live in a house previously.Luckily there's not much carpet and I put plastic and newspaper down- he is getting close to the human loo now.Could you perhaps offer coffee,tea and biscuits for a friendly local who would enjoy walking a dog but can't have one full time.You might make a fun notice and pin it on a noticeboard x
ReplyDeleteI've had an offer already but I don't want to " put on" anybody
DeleteThere was a boy who I was told had Aspergers Syndrome who was taking an A Level exam.I was to sit in the same room,as I was an invigilator.He was read the paper,he answered,the support person wrote it down.Throughout the long exam he tapped a ruler on the table.At the end he walked right up to me,said "thank you" very precisely.He was a lovely lad x
ReplyDeleteLeo is a sweetie..
DeleteIt's great that you have a connection with your nephew, of course it's going to be on his terms so just go with it. Years ago I occasionally looked after some friend's son who has autism, everything was on his terms and I was just happy to be let in every now and then.
ReplyDeleteA straight female friend encouraged me to watch Arrow years ago, I don't know what it's like now but it had a lot of shirtless man-candy back then! ;)
I think I will have to do some research into Arrow me thinks
DeleteEverything I do for my dog is worth it. I known understand. I would be substantially less happy without my boy.
ReplyDeleteIt's just something else to organise , more change more expense.
DeleteMy oldest doesn't send texts - they leave evidence of communication. He speaks mostly with annoyed grunts ( in at least three languages, I don't think he uses German even he speaks some) - but that's how most teenagers communicate anyway. But he has a wonderfully twisted and a bit dry sense of humour, British comedy is just right his alley- US "comedies" just don't have it.
ReplyDeleteWhat wouldn't we do for our cats and dogs.
I don't think I spoke for perhaps 2 years when I was a teenager
DeleteDogs are very special. I am missing our dog very much. She died last fall. When I need cuddles I go see my daughter and visit with her dogs-well mainly her older dog. The younger husky is a bit to rambunctious for me.
ReplyDeleteBarb
Winnie had a physical at the vets tonight as we all went to update her boosters...
DeleteShe said she was in fine form l healthy heart, healthy body!
How wonderful you and your nephew have a form of communication that's working well. I don't text, have a dumb phone, and think the cost of cell phones and cell phone plans is robbery!
ReplyDeleteBless Winnie's big heart! She does take life a bit seriously sometimes. I agree that a little sausage might quickly set her world to rights.
Could the little school girls (someone's daughters but I've had no coffee and cannot remember who is their dad) in the neighborhood walk Mary after school?
Hugs!
I wouldn't ask the Randa girls although I am sure they would do it.....I think it's important to be self sufficient
DeleteI've done everything else on my own since my marriage broke down. This is just another step
Oh John, you are a kind and generous soul and it would be hard for people to see was they can do things for you - this is why people leave offerings on the door and wall, because you'll never ask and they don't have to offer. If you paid a little bit to the girls they would have some pocket money and it would be lovely. This is good surely? xo (your life your rules, just relating to this and suggesting a different point of view xo)
DeleteI know what you mean re. the expense of the dog-walker. We have one for Olga five days a week, and it's insanely pricey. But we can't keep her inside all day and can't reasonably get home to walk her at lunch, so there's really no other option. Think how happy it will make Mary! I'm glad Winnie was both properly upset by her transgression and subsequently able to get over it.
ReplyDeleteI'm paying 15£ a day!
DeleteCall it an overhead, John. A necessary cost. A bit like having your shoes resoled. Anyway, what's £15.00? Three quarters of an hour of your pay? About the time it'd take you to take your dogs for a walk.
DeleteU
Aww poor embarrassed Winnie. Suky occasionally has an accident, always bang in the middle of the kitchen floor and easy to clean up ... but she won't look me in the eye or get out of her bed until all evidence has been removed and everywhere is clean again. 😄
ReplyDeleteThey are cut from the same cloth me thinks
DeleteWinnie would have made a great character actress. So wonderful that you have a connection with your nephew. By the way, tired of the show "Arrow" after one season. However, the star is quite a bit of eye candy. If I were you, I'd watch some (but only so you could tell your nephew you have).
ReplyDeleteOff to look for him
DeleteI hope you will like him. No, he doesn't know what he is letting himself in for. LOL
ReplyDeleteMy granddaughter Sahara has aspergers. I cherish her.
The walker is rather a dish, so he can stay
DeleteIs Winnie actually Dame Margaret Rutherford in canine form?
ReplyDeleteDon’t you have a fenced back yard? Couldn’t you close them in the kitchen and buy a dog couch and put it in the kitchen for Winnie to lounge on while you are at work? They could use a doggy door to go outside to pee and poop. It would be a lot cheaper.
I also thought of the schoolgirls being able to earn money by walking your dogs in the afternoon.
Maybe pick up the water bowl early in the evening.
My Welsh Mother-in-law would visit every year or soand would giveeach of my daughters a plastic kewpie doll, then spend the rest of her visit talking to our dogs. Both daughters knew where they were in the pecking order. Now my 76 year old husband is on the road to being like her: It’s all about our dogs.
The idea of a doggie couch in the kitchen and a doggie door sounds brilliant to me. Of course, that will work only if the garden is fenced with no means of escape. :)
DeleteI'd never leave them outside , it's just not secure enough.
DeleteI will look for a cheaper alternative ...watch this space x
I was very taken with Liverpool down by the docks and the RC cathedral. Really enjoyed the modern regeneration going on.
ReplyDeleteArilx
My friend lives up near the beautiful Anglican cathedral
DeleteAh, Winnie - sucks to get older and have a weaker bladder!
ReplyDeleteOur cats always supervise the cleanup of their upchucking. They must make sure it's done to a standard, you know :)
I realize my first sentence sounds unfeeling. I meant to add "I know all too well" . . .
DeleteOh no.....my bladder is a bit forget too
DeleteIs Leo a nephew thru your ex? Is that why you say you miss him?
ReplyDeleteI have a daily dogwalker, I cannot give my young dog the brisk walks he requires [hip joint inflammation on my part]; I have just added one afternoon more per week, with a different walker. Mo seems to really enjoy the visits with these young energetic women. Here the dogwalkers are experienced, w references; and are bonded [insured]; costly but I decided against trying to find a teenager to help put. My dog is an escape artist, he needs an experienced hand on the leash.
Potty pads for Winnie if you're gone so long? I put them where the ''mistake'' was made. Icky but the residual scent attracts the dogs.
lizzy
Yes that's right lizzy
DeleteSo sad. Lovely that you stay in touch via texts.
DeleteI know you want to stand on your own two feet but please think carefully abut the villagers offer to help. You're not wanting to put upon anyone but surely they wouldn't have offered unless they really wanted to do it. You could be offending them by turning them down. Is it someone who hasn't a dog? I know if I hadn't one I'd jump at the chance to have one (or some) in my life by looking after a neighbours. I'm sure you don't feel put upon when you're helping someone in the village, your village friend won't either. It's normal for you to feel you must go it alone now but don't shut someone out by not seeing the bigger picture. If the villager didn't work in the long run you could then resort to the walker. Good luck whatever you decide.
ReplyDeleteIf I may say so, Heidi: Perceptive comment you made. It is so very true. People want to help. It's nice to be able to help. People want to be needed. It's part of our purpose in life. As you say, it's reciprocal. However, to accept help gracefully is also an art. And pride comes before the fall.
DeleteU
I suppose professional dog walkers have their overheads so they are going to be a bit pricey, and if it's on a regular basis the person has to show up at an allotted time.
ReplyDeleteI've done a lot of dog walking for people in the village on an 'as and when' required basis, Didn't want a regular commitment. It worked well. People wanted to pay me, I like walking dogs, so there was a different arrangement with each one.
One elderly gent paid me £2 per walk when he went out with the Ramblers, and couldn't take Lady. A man sometimes worked double shifts and texted me the day before to walk Alfie and Ollie. I said pay me what you like, it was a tenner here and there. An elderly lady wanted her dog walked every morning, I did it for a while but then got a rota going of three other people to help. I wouldn't take any money off her but she gave me a bottle of wine now and again. She wanted to give me something. At one time I had the keys to three houses to go and get the dogs out for a walk. Not walking dogs at the moment, but if I think someone might need help I offer. There is a dog walker in the village who charges £7 an hour. He does it not for the money but for the exercise.
If the dog walker isn't doing it for the money then why is he taking £7 an hour from people?
DeleteBecause he is skint.
DeleteGran worked by the Cathedral at one time, Rodney Street, wonder if your pal lives near there.
ReplyDeleteAnn x