Tuesday, 6 August 2019

A Fart In Choir

My choir before Heulwen and I joined
RAF Jamie is back row far right

Our choir master Jamie ( sans his 1940 RAF moustache) was back in harness tonight after his two week tour with The Spooky Men's Chorus. 
It was a bit like the first day back at school with certain members of the choir chattering and overly restless but he soon got us back into shape as we have a mini concert booked at a local golf club for next week! ( next week Melyd Golf Club, next year the Albert Hall! )
One of my fellow basses ( I shall refer to him as Howard) has a tendency for inane comments and a habit for not listening and although he has the best voice in the men's section, he really gets on my tits, a fact that has not gone unnoticed by Hattie and Heulwen , who are buddy tenors and who always stand just to my right.
My eye rolling at his high jinxs makes them giggle as does the fact I can't clap and sing at the same time.
In our warm up exercises tonight, Jamie got us to sigh loudly and touch our toes at full stretch
I let out a pinched alto sounding fart as I bent over, but luckily this was only heard by gentleman farmer Peter, who has good breeding so kept his mouth shut!

Nice to be back singing


49 comments:

  1. I laughed heartily at work a week or so ago and had a gas leak. Nobody was close enough to hear and my laugh was too loud anyway, but sheesh. Didn't think I'd be doing this until my 70s or so!

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    1. It's been happening to me since I was 40

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    2. When we fart, Turbo (the dog) looks accusingly at us and moves away!

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  2. The scarves are stunning!!

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  3. I hope you were in tune!

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  4. If you could only fart on cue !
    parsnip

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    1. I could end the 1812 overture

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    2. On-key, I trust. You do realise it's in E-flat!

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  5. don't fart at the golf club.

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  6. Possibly not the only reason he kept his mouth shut.

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  7. There is no like button on here!

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  8. I was in rehearsal for a play once and a man whom I had to stand next to or be in proximity to for most of the play had obviously eaten something toxic that evening. His farts were silent but my god, they were deadly. I, too, have good breeding and never said a word but I will never forget. I should be more sympathetic. He was probably in agony.

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  9. How does the acoustics of your rehearsal space handle it?

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    Replies
    1. Luckily the tenors are a powerful bunch

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  10. Of course Peter kept his mouth shut. Who would want to eat a fart?

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  11. The RAF is a winsome lad. Have a great season.

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  12. Highly entertaining :)

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  13. You're back on form! These are just the kind of anecdotes that brought you international fame. Bravo!

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    1. Farts and bodily functions
      I know my level

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  14. Nice that you have musical farts! :)

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  15. Could've been worse, it could have been one of those silent but deadly ones - like my dog does! Good to hear you're back singing - and on form! x

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    1. Now I could have blamed anyone in the choir we all stand in a circle

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  16. Anonymous8:12 am

    Years ago a friend was visiting her boyfriends family they were all out of the room she was in, when a large Labrador bounded into the room farted loudly then bounded upstairs.
    The family arrived with a tray of tea and food, to be greeted by the aroma left behind in an otherwise empty room, except for my friend.
    The relationship didn't last very long after this!
    Tess x

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  17. Lucky you to be able to touch your toes... a genteel fart... a small price to pay.

    LX

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  18. "In our warm up exercises tonight, Jamie got us to sigh loudly and touch our toes at full stretch"

    Oh dear. Today's breed of chorus directors have this strange idea that warm-ups must be events in themselves, with all sorts of dubious add-ons that don't seem to have much to do with facilitating singing. There are all sorts of clapping games or making funny faces or pretending you're a this or a that. Much of it is reminiscent of Joyce Grenfell's Nursery School and utterly mortifying. I particularly loathe the 'Turn to the person next to you and introduce yourself and massage their shoulders' move. I refuse to do that. Should I be called to account for not obeying, I have an answer ready: "There was a time when I did not object to men i didn't know running their hands over my body, but those days are past."

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    1. To be honest I understand the need to warm up but I find the whole process uncomfortable
      I even hate being in church when you are encouraged to greet the people around you
      I find that excruciating and difficult
      I am unhappily British and too laced up for all of that crap

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  19. I don't dispute the need to warm up.

    It's the making of it a supposedly fun event, as though the chorus director had taken over the role of inspirational team-builder, that I find mortifying. Each week we are given a round to learn. What is the point of this? I want to save my intellectual energy for the Mozart or Bach we're going to learn for performance. And then there will be silly games-playing like leave out every third word and clap instead. And then we get told, "Tomorrow is November 5th so we're going to send our voice up like a rocket, starting down here--your voice is in the bottle--and up, up it goes..." Aaaargh.

    Perhaps I shall object to the shoulder-massaging on the grounds that in these days of MeToo, unwanted physical contact should not be encouraged.

    I'll happily do whatever is necessary to warm up. But too much of the rest is a pointless exercise of power grounded in mushy theories of team-building and the like.

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  20. Good thing gentleman farmer Peter has good breeding. At least SOMEONE does! Afartinchoir... could be Welsh, couldn’t it?

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  21. Good to know a chap can rely on good breeding when one makes an unexpected backside faux pas.

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  22. I've heard 3 ladies do quite loud ones whilst we were doing yoga in a hall.I really had to contain my giggling.I felt so sorry for them as I'm sure they must have been so embarrassed.I was thankful it wasn't me as I'm vegetarian and can be occasionally windy x

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  23. Anonymous2:15 pm

    Hate those silent deadly farts in crowded situations. Horrible smell and hard to say from where it leaked... It wasn’t me!

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  24. "luckily this was only heard by gentleman farmer Peter"

    Um, farts aren't just HEARD, you know. They can be detected in other ways.

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  25. It’s good and healthy to be in tune on both ends.

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  26. Moral of this story - never bend over in a crowd.

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  27. Brilliant :-)

    Alan seems to be a bit deaf these days and is known to fart regularly, as he can't seem to hear them he is under the impression that I can't either and always looks shocked when I say in my best school ma'am voice 'Excuse you!!'

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  28. We had visitors over one evening when I was a kid and all of a sudden there was the most awful stink. My dad just went "oh for God's sake Brett (the border collie), get out of here" - at which point the dog jumped up at the window as he was outside in the garden! And just a point, do all the Trelawnyd natives' name have to start with an "H"?

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  29. You are wonderful. Alto fart?

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  30. Farting aside, this reminded me of that lovely hymn Enya sings - "How Can I Keep From Singing?" It's so beautiful and expresses how I feel about it too!

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