Friendships


I spent some time walking on the South Bank looking at the city, a sight which could have been a backdrop from a Mary Poppins movie.
I think it is my favourite place in London.
I wandered around the vast spaces of the Tate, enjoying the building much more than any of the art on show, then back towards the British Film Institute with it's labyrinth of  highly painted corridors and it's bookshop filled with exciting pieces just about the art of filmaking.


I caught up with Alex, a writer, who has been a blog friend for over ten years but one I had never met  and later with Kim who had been a close friend over a decade but with whom I had lost touch with for thirteen years.
It was an igniting and rekindling of friendships.

I think in my 50s I now do the friendship thing fairly well.
Having said that, I think I have always been fairly good in the role.
Ok I still play, as we all do, that game of wearing different hats with different friends and I am just as fickle sometimes when I chose to be with a certain friend because I need to , but I am way too old to be in that group that has friends they don't particularly care about.
Friendship is about a bond not about filling a hole in loneliness .

At one point Alex said something like "You are exactly how you portray yourself to be" or something to that effect when we are chatting about something silly I had observed , and it was a comment which surprised and pleased me...….. three hours later whilst chatting over a drink in the St Pancras Hotel Bar Kim flicked a hand over my trendy hoodie top front  with a laugh
"Grease stain" she commented in an unsurprised tone

Par For the Course I thought......

38 comments:

  1. Well I'm glad (but not surprised) that the John we read about is the John that actually exists!

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    1. Oh yes! Stains and all

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    2. We love you just as you are. Quote from Bridgette Jones " You love me just as I am".

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  2. Your remark - "Friendship is about a bond not about filling a hole in loneliness" is a wise one that belongs in a book dedicated to the phenomenon of friendship.

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  3. I do like the way you share on your blog. You give I think a good and honest sense of your human-ness. And I do have the sense that you know how to be a friend. Not easy for everyone and not always easy for me.

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    1. Perhaps you don't need them as much as I do

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  4. It sounds like the break with friends old and new was good for you. I agree the Tates is a spectacular space, in search of art.

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    1. The vastness of it still astounds me

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  5. I want to know how you got into the St Pancras Hotel bar wearing a hoodie and with a stain to boot.

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  6. I think there are plenty of people who DO use friends and relationships to fill a hole in loneliness. But you are right- the bond is the thing. I'm going to be pondering this all day.

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    1. Perhaps it's the difference between acquaintances and friends

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  7. Good for you. It's good for the soul to meet up with old buddies.

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  8. That sounds like a pretty splendid day to me, Your friends are lucky to have you, albeit slightly stained! x

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  9. I know what you mean. A lot of blog readers that stop at our place to say hello come out with variations of 'this place and you are just as you appear on your blogs' as though they are a bit surprised. But think at our age you are just happy enough in your own skin not to either want to nor have to, put up a false facade.

    It sounds like your little break is doing you the world of good 🙂

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    1. I wonder how many arnt quite what they seem?

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    2. I think there really are some that paint pictures of a 'perfect life' when truth be told it's just normal stuff, not the perfect life they want to portray to gather in admiring readers, and perhaps sponsorship and advertisers.

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  10. Barbara Anne2:44 pm

    These are "friends of the heart" and you can always pick up where you left off when you last met. Those you interact with at work may become friends of the heart, but often are "friends of the road" so when either of you moves to a different job, you lose touch. This thought isn't original with me, but is something I read decades ago that has proved true in my life.

    What a wonderful time you've had in London!

    Hugs!

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  11. After my husband died suddenly,online friends were there with comforting emails and advice.
    Then they drifted away...when I asked one who had a drug addict son, so I knew she would be a good shoulder to cry on, she replied to me one day that "I was always so sad"
    My husband of almost 40 years woke up one morning then died.
    I guess I was supposed to fluff that off and get back to silly gossip.

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    1. So I totally agree with Barbara Anne 🌹

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    2. Fair weather friends

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  12. Reading this post I'm getting the feeling that I should visit London again.

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    Replies
    1. Nice to visit, nice to come home from

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  13. Special friends. Yes, nice all around.

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  14. There was an old cartoon: “On the internet no-one knows you’re a dog”.

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    1. Margaret...I love it!
      Although dogs are often the best friends.

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  15. Alright - we have never met but I count you as a friend - a dear friend, albeit a blog one. xx

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  16. It's been too long since I had a good friend-visit. Need to fix that! I'm glad you're having a good time.

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  17. Friends are the family we choose, dearheart.
    And of course you are IRL who you are here. Shit, we tell people in our blogs stuff we’ve never told anybody else!
    London is my dream travel destination. One day I’ll have to visit.
    XoXo

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  18. Lovely posting friends are like family I think the best friends are the ones that give you space but are always there when you need them, some you may see more often but are not the ones that you share your innermost thoughts with, like you say different hats but when push comes to shove I would be lost without them.
    I'm glad that you have so many wonderful people in your life John.

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  19. Exactly how you portray yourself to be? That sounds like a double-edged compliment to me, but I would take it as kindly.

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  20. In the end it is friends and family. Or friends or family. Keep having a good time.

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  21. I went into the St. Pancras hotel once just to quickly look around before scurrying back out. --felt like a pleb! :D

    What a fine compliment you were paid. And how nice to be able to meet up with these two during your LDN jaunt.

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  22. After 10 years of mother and nursing home, I'm trying to catch up with blog mates but 10 years really shows up the age difference than back then. I'm glad to see that some of the youngers have done very well and two gay marriages have lasted (sorry GG). Most have deserted blogging for facebook or twitter and instagram. That was what I liked about blogger, age was never a bother, we just ignored it.

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  23. I've invariably found that when I meet a blogmate in the flesh they're exactly as I expected them, and there are no unwanted surprises.

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