Thursday, 18 April 2019

Risk Assessment

Mary looking uncharactistically worried

The other night I toppled out of my crocs like an semi fluid hundredweight of cement flowing unchecked out of a wheelbarrow.
Unfortunately I was peering over my field wall at the time and fell about five feet through a small gooseberry bush.
My crocs had the good sense to remain side by side on the top of the old wall
Apart from bashing my face in a hundred cuts, I did rip my third best Walking Dead T shirt and also knocked the arm from my best pair of reading glasses ( the 7£ ones from Asda!!!!)
Luckily no one saw my fall from grace though I am sure neighbour Mandy came to her bedroom window when she heard me swear" Fuckity fuck fuck" as I limped for the gate

My dyspraxia isn't getting any worse.
It's been with me since birth, it's just that I think I have a different centre of gravity than I used to have and my eyesight is more questionable so I am banging my head and rolling forward like a short sighted wombat more regularly.

I invested in a new pair of crocs this morning
Luminous green!
I can now see my feet in the dark


73 comments:

  1. mary looks adorable as always. how is her ear doing? and you stay off the walls before you kill yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good lord, glad the injuries were minor. I feel like going into "mother hen" mode here, are you sure crocs are really your best footwear of choice? Perhaps something with a bit more security, less ability to slide right out of? (Although the new ones are a fetching colour!) -Jenn

    ReplyDelete
  3. My balance is terrible so I stagger like a drunkard. It's worse at night.
    Shame you tore your nearly best shirt!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Have you ever thought about more sensible shoes as you seem to fall and trip a lot on the uneven surfaces around the cottage?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As much as I like crocs or clogs fact is they are not very practical unless you live in dead flat Netherlands or (even flatter) Belgium. I have to chime in with Coffee on the Porch and Rachel (forgive me, Rachel, it's not the first time I agree with you): A good pair of proper sturdy boots will save you from many a gooseberry bush doing damage to your sweet face.

      U

      Delete
    2. Im 56 and have i ever thought of sensible shoe wearing .....

      Yes!!

      Delete
  5. I imagine that stress worsens the effects of dyspraxia. Wishing you well through this particularly tough period.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh dear! I am shaking with laughter at the wheelbarrow of cement picture. Hope you're ok x

    ReplyDelete
  7. I, too,am a "faller". I have fallen face first to the ground after stepping on a pea-sized pebble.
    I can literally feel your pain!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Do they make a crash helmet, knee and elbow pads in the same green?

    ReplyDelete
  9. You should put more water with it John :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Be careful John. I fell in January, thinking I only sprained my ankle. When it wouldn't get better, I finally went to the dr. only to have him tell me it was broken, but already healing, and not lined up! We are not getting any younger.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I seem to remember an accident involving flip-flops? Start wearing sensible shoes, or you could do yourself a serious injury and end up needing care as opposed to being the care-giver. If you must be trendy, wear Converse, although you'd probably still trip over the laces!

    ReplyDelete
  12. When Emma Watson was cast as Belle in Beauty and the Beast she said how impractical the cartoon Belle's ballet pumps were and insisted her Belle wore stout boots. Be like Emma.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous2:34 pm

    Dump the crocs!. They are so dangerous. A collegue walking down a corridor crocs gripped the lino she went flying. Face planted the floor. Get trainers!.jacx

    ReplyDelete
  14. I wear Croc flip flops in almost all shoe-wearing situations that doesn't involve exercise or gardening. Wouldn't trade them for anything. Your new ones are fine-looking shoes and who gets to judge what "sensible" shoes are?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Mary's picked up on your distress - or is it your oh-bugger-it-all exasperation? - and wants to comfort you.
    Btw: Are you sure those aren't 'gardening slippers'? :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its a " what the fuck ate 7 up to now?"

      Delete
  16. just dispense with the shoes altogether and go barefoot and grip the ground with your toes.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Why were you wearing reading glasses to peer over the field wall? That might explain why you fell in the first place?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Shouldn't have been peeing over your field wall.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I thought it said at first. :-)

      Delete
    2. I only did that when I had chickens. It put off the foxes

      Delete
  19. Where does one even buy a pair of those Croc things? As footwear goes they seem to be neither practical (judging by your many experiences with them) or aesthetically pleasing. I find myself wondering, therefore, what the point of them is. And for once I have to agree with Ursula and co and suggest something more reliable.

    ReplyDelete
  20. And I might also add that if your eyesight is so bad you should get something done about it. The last time I looked (which isn't very often I must admit as I far prefer Sainsbury's) Asda was not an opticians.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's this? Lecture time from the over 50s?

      Delete
    2. Well this over 50 doesn't fall over....

      Delete
    3. Ive seen you stagger a few times

      Delete
  21. Barbara Anne3:57 pm

    I'll have to agree that reading glasses aren't appropriate for peering at things any more distant than a book in your hands. Whether the fall was a happen-so, croc related, or whatever, proper eyewear for your own eyes and purpose is essential, especially in the gloaming or in the dark.

    Happy healing. :)

    Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  22. They don't look like the REAL Crocs....! And what happened to the old ones? Were they injured in the fall as well?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Are you sure those ‘shoes’ are the same size? The right one looks much larger.
    Mary looks adorable with her new haircut.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Ooh! Might want to switch to tennis shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Clearly the dog is very worried. Take it easy out there, John!

    ReplyDelete
  26. When Mistress Maddie reads this, she is going to be all over you about wearing Crocs. And then you go and buy a NEW pair. You're in big trouble! (But, still, glad you didn't get TOO hurt.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe i just need to feel a drag queen's wrath

      Delete
  27. Glad you got only scratches, dings, and dents. Then again, more crocks?

    ReplyDelete
  28. I LOVE the colour of your Crocs, and I love you, you clumsy git 🤣🤣

    ReplyDelete
  29. John John John. . . Love the color of your crocs but I fell so much when I wore them. I slipped out of them and they would scrap and catch on uneven walkways. One knee surgery later and the other knee smashed I gave up the crocs.
    No More Crocs.

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oops I meant to say No more Crocs for me !

      Delete
    2. But they are so comfy

      Delete
  30. Walking dead T shirt, bright green crocs - what sort of image are you intending to create down there in Wales?
    Sorry about the fall. I had one on Sunday too - fantastic bruises but I can't boast about them now the shock of the fall is over - they are all in a place it would not be polite to show in public. How about yours? (sorry dear heart though)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Would a form of meditation help? Since learning to be mindful in our every day lives may help us to focus more on the moment and may reduce the number of 'accidents'.
    Also....you may want to invest in proper footwear for stability and comfort. Just sayin....

    ReplyDelete
  32. So sorry for your tumble but so appreciate that you mentioned this condition several months, maybe a year ago because I do things like this all the time and worried about what was wrong. I am much older but heavens I hit the side of my glasses on things all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Dear oh dear, John, are Crocs REALLY the best kind of footwear to have on when standing on a wall?

    ReplyDelete
  34. Now we know what happened to your face! It looks like you have plenty of advice here so I will bite my tongue and try to keep mine to myself. (not an easy thing to do for a mother) Mary looks adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Glad the damage was relatively minor. I have been tottering rather a lot recently but it is months since I have face planted.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Oh how I am enjoying these comments !

    Mother of a Dyspraxic daughter xx

    ReplyDelete
  37. The worst fall I have ever taken involved proper lace up hiking shoes, and no, I didn't trip on the lace. Wear what is comfy and pay attention...hugs, Barb

    ReplyDelete
  38. Having been blind in one eye many years ago, I have problems with depth perception and often misstep, no matter what shoes I wear. I wear crocs at home but not in public, save for the beach, because they are comfortable. I wear them in the yard because they clean up quickly and nicely if I happen to step in mud or dog poo, only switching to closed shoes for safety when mowing. Today I thought that I'd be "smart" and wear trainers outside to fetch in some firewood, hoping to avoid injuring my feet if I dropped a stick. Wouldn't you know it, as I was leaving the woodshed with two large sticks of firewood in my arms I caught the toe of one trainer on a clump of grass and tripped!

    It's a doomed feeling you get when you are falling, isn't it?! I just knew that I was going to face plant and break my ribs on the firewood, but instead I pitched forward, my head headed closer and closer to the ground while my feet frantically leapt forward and side -to-side at the same time, like a staggering drunkard, until, thank Dog, I regained my balance. Of course, I immediately looked around to see if my neighbors saw me. They were not in sight. Whew!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Oops, this should read "Having been blinded...."

    ReplyDelete
  40. LOL
    you're too cute. Rolling forward like a short sighted wombat? Dead.
    And I agree with Debra. Crocs? Standing on a wall?

    XOXO


    ReplyDelete
  41. I know I shouldn't laugh (but I did)... your description of the event is so comical. Glad it's just cuts and bruises and nothing more serious. The new crocs are quite lovely!

    ReplyDelete
  42. I broke my wrist whilst wearing Crocs so they went to the charity shop - but oh I do miss their comfy-ness and speed of on and off! I wonder whether Birkenstocks would be better - helluva price tho and I guess Asda don’t stock them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd fall over even if I was wearing wellingtons x

      Delete
    2. What a truly caring gift to charity, Rosie! Lol!

      Delete
  43. It shakes a person up to fall hard. Please take care of yourself. It's a lovely shot of Mary and your crocs :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. Lovely photo of Mary I quite like the colour of your crocs.

    ReplyDelete
  45. I haven't commented for a long time, but that opening line is absolutely a classic - I hope it will appear in your book.

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes