Mary looking uncharactistically worried
The other night I toppled out of my crocs like an semi fluid hundredweight of cement flowing unchecked out of a wheelbarrow.
Unfortunately I was peering over my field wall at the time and fell about five feet through a small gooseberry bush.
My crocs had the good sense to remain side by side on the top of the old wall
Apart from bashing my face in a hundred cuts, I did rip my third best Walking Dead T shirt and also knocked the arm from my best pair of reading glasses ( the 7£ ones from Asda!!!!)
Luckily no one saw my fall from grace though I am sure neighbour Mandy came to her bedroom window when she heard me swear" Fuckity fuck fuck" as I limped for the gate
My dyspraxia isn't getting any worse.
It's been with me since birth, it's just that I think I have a different centre of gravity than I used to have and my eyesight is more questionable so I am banging my head and rolling forward like a short sighted wombat more regularly.
I invested in a new pair of crocs this morning
Luminous green!
I can now see my feet in the dark
mary looks adorable as always. how is her ear doing? and you stay off the walls before you kill yourself!
ReplyDeleteGood lord, glad the injuries were minor. I feel like going into "mother hen" mode here, are you sure crocs are really your best footwear of choice? Perhaps something with a bit more security, less ability to slide right out of? (Although the new ones are a fetching colour!) -Jenn
ReplyDeleteMy balance is terrible so I stagger like a drunkard. It's worse at night.
ReplyDeleteShame you tore your nearly best shirt!
Have you ever thought about more sensible shoes as you seem to fall and trip a lot on the uneven surfaces around the cottage?
ReplyDeleteAs much as I like crocs or clogs fact is they are not very practical unless you live in dead flat Netherlands or (even flatter) Belgium. I have to chime in with Coffee on the Porch and Rachel (forgive me, Rachel, it's not the first time I agree with you): A good pair of proper sturdy boots will save you from many a gooseberry bush doing damage to your sweet face.
DeleteU
Im 56 and have i ever thought of sensible shoe wearing .....
DeleteYes!!
I imagine that stress worsens the effects of dyspraxia. Wishing you well through this particularly tough period.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! I am shaking with laughter at the wheelbarrow of cement picture. Hope you're ok x
ReplyDeleteI, too,am a "faller". I have fallen face first to the ground after stepping on a pea-sized pebble.
ReplyDeleteI can literally feel your pain!
get crocs with cleats.
ReplyDeleteDo they make a crash helmet, knee and elbow pads in the same green?
ReplyDeleteLife has its ups and downs.
ReplyDeleteYou should put more water with it John :)
ReplyDeleteBe careful John. I fell in January, thinking I only sprained my ankle. When it wouldn't get better, I finally went to the dr. only to have him tell me it was broken, but already healing, and not lined up! We are not getting any younger.
ReplyDeleteI seem to remember an accident involving flip-flops? Start wearing sensible shoes, or you could do yourself a serious injury and end up needing care as opposed to being the care-giver. If you must be trendy, wear Converse, although you'd probably still trip over the laces!
ReplyDeleteWhen Emma Watson was cast as Belle in Beauty and the Beast she said how impractical the cartoon Belle's ballet pumps were and insisted her Belle wore stout boots. Be like Emma.
ReplyDeleteDump the crocs!. They are so dangerous. A collegue walking down a corridor crocs gripped the lino she went flying. Face planted the floor. Get trainers!.jacx
ReplyDeleteI wear Croc flip flops in almost all shoe-wearing situations that doesn't involve exercise or gardening. Wouldn't trade them for anything. Your new ones are fine-looking shoes and who gets to judge what "sensible" shoes are?
ReplyDeleteMary's picked up on your distress - or is it your oh-bugger-it-all exasperation? - and wants to comfort you.
ReplyDeleteBtw: Are you sure those aren't 'gardening slippers'? :-)
Its a " what the fuck ate 7 up to now?"
Deletejust dispense with the shoes altogether and go barefoot and grip the ground with your toes.
ReplyDeleteOh lord
DeleteWhy were you wearing reading glasses to peer over the field wall? That might explain why you fell in the first place?
ReplyDeleteThey were on my head
DeleteShouldn't have been peeing over your field wall.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I thought it said at first. :-)
DeleteI only did that when I had chickens. It put off the foxes
DeleteWhere does one even buy a pair of those Croc things? As footwear goes they seem to be neither practical (judging by your many experiences with them) or aesthetically pleasing. I find myself wondering, therefore, what the point of them is. And for once I have to agree with Ursula and co and suggest something more reliable.
ReplyDeleteAnd I might also add that if your eyesight is so bad you should get something done about it. The last time I looked (which isn't very often I must admit as I far prefer Sainsbury's) Asda was not an opticians.
ReplyDeleteWhat's this? Lecture time from the over 50s?
DeleteWell this over 50 doesn't fall over....
DeleteIve seen you stagger a few times
DeleteI'll have to agree that reading glasses aren't appropriate for peering at things any more distant than a book in your hands. Whether the fall was a happen-so, croc related, or whatever, proper eyewear for your own eyes and purpose is essential, especially in the gloaming or in the dark.
ReplyDeleteHappy healing. :)
Hugs!
They were perched on my head
DeleteThey don't look like the REAL Crocs....! And what happened to the old ones? Were they injured in the fall as well?
ReplyDeleteAldi knock offs
DeleteAre you sure those ‘shoes’ are the same size? The right one looks much larger.
ReplyDeleteMary looks adorable with her new haircut.
Are u saying I have club foot?
DeleteOoh! Might want to switch to tennis shoes.
ReplyDeleteBallet shoes?
DeleteClearly the dog is very worried. Take it easy out there, John!
ReplyDeleteShe loves me
DeleteWhen Mistress Maddie reads this, she is going to be all over you about wearing Crocs. And then you go and buy a NEW pair. You're in big trouble! (But, still, glad you didn't get TOO hurt.)
ReplyDeleteMaybe i just need to feel a drag queen's wrath
DeleteGlad you got only scratches, dings, and dents. Then again, more crocks?
ReplyDeleteI have proper shoes too
DeleteI LOVE the colour of your Crocs, and I love you, you clumsy git 🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteAwwww shucks!!!
DeleteJohn John John. . . Love the color of your crocs but I fell so much when I wore them. I slipped out of them and they would scrap and catch on uneven walkways. One knee surgery later and the other knee smashed I gave up the crocs.
ReplyDeleteNo More Crocs.
cheers, parsnip
oops I meant to say No more Crocs for me !
DeleteBut they are so comfy
DeleteWalking dead T shirt, bright green crocs - what sort of image are you intending to create down there in Wales?
ReplyDeleteSorry about the fall. I had one on Sunday too - fantastic bruises but I can't boast about them now the shock of the fall is over - they are all in a place it would not be polite to show in public. How about yours? (sorry dear heart though)
Would a form of meditation help? Since learning to be mindful in our every day lives may help us to focus more on the moment and may reduce the number of 'accidents'.
ReplyDeleteAlso....you may want to invest in proper footwear for stability and comfort. Just sayin....
So sorry for your tumble but so appreciate that you mentioned this condition several months, maybe a year ago because I do things like this all the time and worried about what was wrong. I am much older but heavens I hit the side of my glasses on things all the time.
ReplyDeleteDear oh dear, John, are Crocs REALLY the best kind of footwear to have on when standing on a wall?
ReplyDeleteI'm a crazy bitch
DeleteNow we know what happened to your face! It looks like you have plenty of advice here so I will bite my tongue and try to keep mine to myself. (not an easy thing to do for a mother) Mary looks adorable.
ReplyDeleteGlad the damage was relatively minor. I have been tottering rather a lot recently but it is months since I have face planted.
ReplyDeleteOh how I am enjoying these comments !
ReplyDeleteMother of a Dyspraxic daughter xx
The worst fall I have ever taken involved proper lace up hiking shoes, and no, I didn't trip on the lace. Wear what is comfy and pay attention...hugs, Barb
ReplyDeleteHaving been blind in one eye many years ago, I have problems with depth perception and often misstep, no matter what shoes I wear. I wear crocs at home but not in public, save for the beach, because they are comfortable. I wear them in the yard because they clean up quickly and nicely if I happen to step in mud or dog poo, only switching to closed shoes for safety when mowing. Today I thought that I'd be "smart" and wear trainers outside to fetch in some firewood, hoping to avoid injuring my feet if I dropped a stick. Wouldn't you know it, as I was leaving the woodshed with two large sticks of firewood in my arms I caught the toe of one trainer on a clump of grass and tripped!
ReplyDeleteIt's a doomed feeling you get when you are falling, isn't it?! I just knew that I was going to face plant and break my ribs on the firewood, but instead I pitched forward, my head headed closer and closer to the ground while my feet frantically leapt forward and side -to-side at the same time, like a staggering drunkard, until, thank Dog, I regained my balance. Of course, I immediately looked around to see if my neighbors saw me. They were not in sight. Whew!
Oops, this should read "Having been blinded...."
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteyou're too cute. Rolling forward like a short sighted wombat? Dead.
And I agree with Debra. Crocs? Standing on a wall?
XOXO
I know I shouldn't laugh (but I did)... your description of the event is so comical. Glad it's just cuts and bruises and nothing more serious. The new crocs are quite lovely!
ReplyDeleteThey are hideous.
ReplyDeleteReally? Really?
DeleteI broke my wrist whilst wearing Crocs so they went to the charity shop - but oh I do miss their comfy-ness and speed of on and off! I wonder whether Birkenstocks would be better - helluva price tho and I guess Asda don’t stock them.
ReplyDeleteI'd fall over even if I was wearing wellingtons x
DeleteWhat a truly caring gift to charity, Rosie! Lol!
DeleteIt shakes a person up to fall hard. Please take care of yourself. It's a lovely shot of Mary and your crocs :)
ReplyDeleteLovely photo of Mary I quite like the colour of your crocs.
ReplyDeleteNice crocs!
ReplyDeleteI haven't commented for a long time, but that opening line is absolutely a classic - I hope it will appear in your book.
ReplyDelete