In those days we had to put 24 confused and incontinent patients to bed.
This was when night staff were real men and where planing and tenacity were better virtues than all the fluffy things we learned at the school of psychiatric nursing circa 1983
Just me and an old enrolled nurse
Toilet visit, hands and face wash, clothes off pyjamas on, teeth sorted ...in bed
24 times.
I did one side of the day room.
The enrolled nurse did the other.
The dormitory filled slowly from eight pm.
By eleven pm we had just one bed left unfilled
And two patients sat in the day room!!!!
I scratched my head and looked bemused
The enrolled nurse scanned the beds and called me a fuckwit
I had just put a visitor to bed!
It turned out that the visitor had mild learning difficulties and had fallen asleep whilst he was visiting his father ( who incidentally I had put to bed next to him) I had helped the visitor up, undressed him, helped him in someone else's pyjamas and even had praised his false teeth out of his head in order to brush them.
The visitor was nicely fast asleep and had to be woken up redressed and sent on his way home with an apology and a cake from the kitchen.
I used this story many times during my nursing career. It illustrated non personalised care, a lack of planning , an understanding and knowledge of your patients ( or lack of) and the danger of presumption when dealing with vulnerable people.
It was also a funny story, that although perfectly truthful could be embellished for comic effect.
Storytelling is rife in Nursing.
It's just a part of the profession as aseptic technique and enemas
The police and fire service have their own sages and stories that get passed down to the rookies and to the grand children and yesterday I received a message from an ex colleague who reminded me that I had told her this story during a particularly stressful night shift on intensive care.
It had got us all laughing
a funny fable can raise morale!
I am reminded again of the power of storytelling as I now look out of the kitchen window.
The outdoor service at the Church has started and a knot of villagers has gathered around the 13th century prayer cross in the graveyard to hear the Palm Sunday message
More fables, more stories
We all need them
This was when night staff were real men and where planing and tenacity were better virtues than all the fluffy things we learned at the school of psychiatric nursing circa 1983
Just me and an old enrolled nurse
Toilet visit, hands and face wash, clothes off pyjamas on, teeth sorted ...in bed
24 times.
I did one side of the day room.
The enrolled nurse did the other.
The dormitory filled slowly from eight pm.
By eleven pm we had just one bed left unfilled
And two patients sat in the day room!!!!
I scratched my head and looked bemused
The enrolled nurse scanned the beds and called me a fuckwit
I had just put a visitor to bed!
It turned out that the visitor had mild learning difficulties and had fallen asleep whilst he was visiting his father ( who incidentally I had put to bed next to him) I had helped the visitor up, undressed him, helped him in someone else's pyjamas and even had praised his false teeth out of his head in order to brush them.
The visitor was nicely fast asleep and had to be woken up redressed and sent on his way home with an apology and a cake from the kitchen.
I used this story many times during my nursing career. It illustrated non personalised care, a lack of planning , an understanding and knowledge of your patients ( or lack of) and the danger of presumption when dealing with vulnerable people.
It was also a funny story, that although perfectly truthful could be embellished for comic effect.
Storytelling is rife in Nursing.
It's just a part of the profession as aseptic technique and enemas
The police and fire service have their own sages and stories that get passed down to the rookies and to the grand children and yesterday I received a message from an ex colleague who reminded me that I had told her this story during a particularly stressful night shift on intensive care.
It had got us all laughing
a funny fable can raise morale!
I am reminded again of the power of storytelling as I now look out of the kitchen window.
The outdoor service at the Church has started and a knot of villagers has gathered around the 13th century prayer cross in the graveyard to hear the Palm Sunday message
More fables, more stories
We all need them
Isn't a "fuckwit" a beige-feathered songbird that inhabits hedgerows and thrives on mealworms and other grubs? Like a peewit, it got its name from its familiar song: "Fuckwit-a-woo! Fuckwit-a-woo!"
ReplyDeleteNurse the screens!!!!!
DeleteOh all emotional yesterday and giggling today reading your antics ! Thank you John xx
ReplyDeleteGet a ruddy grip xxx
DeleteAbsolutely brilliant, what a fable :-)
ReplyDeleteHow's the babe?
DeleteFitting in perfectly ♥️
DeleteIt sounds like something straight out of Some Mothers do 'ave 'em, with Michael Crawford being the visitor put to bed.
ReplyDeleteHe would have also fallen through the ceiling
DeleteHe would have ended up taking someone else's medication, been put on a drip and given a blood transfusion.
DeleteHaha, that is so funny. And yes, these things really do happen.
ReplyDeleteThat could be a component of your after-dinner speeches. Do you remember there was a little section in Reader's Digest' (boring magazine) Called 'Laughter is the Best Medicine'?
ReplyDeleteGawd a blast from the past I loved that section in readers digest
DeleteIt was always my first port of call
People remember the point, if they remember the story, or the good laugh, or cry. You created a legendary story, in your own time.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I am a Humanist John - I find that photo of the villagers gathered round the cross very humbling - it is obvopisly cold from their clothing but they still come because they need to.
ReplyDeleteIt is the same with fables, particularly if you are in a profession like yours, where death is ever present and if not death then suffering. There has to be laughter when available to keep everyone sane.
I wondered if someone would pick up on the photo, and I am glad you did. I, like you , am a humanist , but the sight moved me too, it always has. There is something quite valiant about the scene, one that I have witnessed for over a decade now
DeleteMade me go back and really look at the photo, taking time to ponder. Glad I did.
DeleteYou can't see the clergy who are all dressed in white and red, quite magnificent
DeleteIt is celebratory day, not sombre.
DeleteGood thing there was no IV nearby!
ReplyDeleteAm telling that story to my family when I see them at Easter. :D :D :D
ReplyDeleteHonoured xx
DeleteI,m a humanist. Last night a muslim woman died. Family wanted an iman to visit and her to directly to the mosque. Fine only iman couldnt visit and no hearse or whater they wanted could not be sourced. So after 6 hours of preying around her eating fish and chips in the side room to the hospital morgue she had to go. Family tied her toes legs and hands together, bandaged her head. Under no circumstances could that be removed to get off hospital nightie and put on kaftan type thing and trousers only female staff. Only grandchildren spoke english. On saying not possible unless hands feet untied they said they had no idea but elders said no untying of hands and feet. Agreed to us chopping it to make a theatre type gown n trousers chopped at the seams. We did well looked good stuck at the back with the best NHS sellotepe along back arms and legs. When family of 40 plus came back in the room created merry hell. Aparently kaftan and trousers was only worn for viewing then taken of and worn by next. Worth many thousands. So glad conversation by grandchildren was witnessed by nurse manager!.Grandchildren appologised for family ready to murder us!. Jac x
ReplyDeleteI've experienced several challenging nursing times like this one. They require a great deal of patience x
DeleteWell... I can see it happening and the visitor fit the profile of one of your hospital patients. I could see that happening easily where my mother is now sadly.
ReplyDeleteThis was a hospital cock up...I've seen many in my time
DeleteI met an nursing angel called Wendy just like you when Sue's Dad was very poorly in 2012. You are such a lovely Man you do not deserve what has happened to you recently XX
ReplyDeleteYou are right x
DeleteWhat this says to me is that two people to get twenty-four people to bed is inadequate staffing!
ReplyDeleteAnd I was a student nurse at the time
DeleteToday's post gave me a good laugh!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny because I was just telling my grandson's mama this last night, that nurses all of their war stories.
ReplyDeleteIt is a funny story. No harm, no foul:)
I could fill this blog ten times over with nurses stories
DeleteAh, an easy mistake to make (especially with the willing and sleepy visitor) - but all the more funny in the telling and re-telling. Yes, understaffed is all too true.
ReplyDeleteWe used to have a fairly young man who would occasionally come rollicking into the emergency room lobby and holler to the triage nurse "I've come to see what condition my condition is in!" The proper response was to assure David his condition was fine. He'd wave and leave by the opposite door. It takes all kinds to make a world.
Hugs!
Thank you for that one
DeleteOf course we noticed, Palm Sunday.
ReplyDeleteat least you weren't operating.
ReplyDeleteWe certainly do. Thanks for the fable and laugh.
ReplyDeleteWhat is an ''enrolled nurse", pls? And whose funeral is the photo?
ReplyDeletelizzy
An enrolled nurse was a qualified nurse but one that had a shorter and less " detailed" training. The enrolled nurses could not progress to sister status
DeleteIts palm sunday service which takes place outside the church
DeleteIt sounds to me like that visitor had more than "mild learning difficulties"! Couldn't he have stopped you?!
ReplyDeleteI don't think he was that bothered as I recall
DeleteI thought the Palm Sunday photo quite moving. I was thinking about all the Palm Sundays I went to and were given a twist of Palm.
ReplyDeletecheers, parsnip
We always had then on the fireplace
DeleteBest. Story. Ever.!
ReplyDeleteHelpless with laughter although your cautionary words are true. At our hospital the staff are bounced around so much, picking up shifts far from their home unit just to keep the place covered, one night in A and E, the next psychiatry, its a wonder they remember their own name let alone anyone else's. Most, however, take professionalism and kindness to the job wherever they end up.
ReplyDeleteHopefully nowadays the student nurses are supernumerary
DeleteMaybe the visitor just thought it was a "sleepover" night. Great story! I too love the picture at the church.
ReplyDeleteThere have been hospital visits where I would have been v grateful to have been put to bed. And would probably have resented being woken.
ReplyDeleteYes, we all need stories. Thanks John.
You are welcome dearheart
DeleteOh. My. God.
ReplyDeleteThat story is basically a metaphor for life. You didn't tell us you were a philosopher, John.
But really I laughed hysterically because I know that could happen to anybody. And he got a cake!!
XOXO
Thanks for this laugh!
ReplyDeleteoh dear, a chuckle...and relief that it came out right in the end! xx
ReplyDeletesorry to be annonymous!
ReplyDeleteI once asked a young lady who was chatting amiably and eating with another, very elderly lady, to bring mrs X into the cubicle.
It was only when I asked her if she could help undress her that she protested and said she didn't know her, they had just got chatting and had shared a packet of biscuit together, that the old lady had brought to the hospital.
The old lady was quite happy to go ahead with everything though and the young lady was quite happy to help until that point. Perhaps she thought we were really, really short staffed
Sounds like something out of a "carry on" movie- at least he didn't loose an appendix or anything!
ReplyDeleteIt's the comfort of hearing the old story told every year that does it for me.
What a beautiful view you have from your kitchen window. I think it could help put life into perspective.
ReplyDeleteI know how your patient must have felt - that feeling when you're just too tired to get up and go home. Teachers have a million stories also!
A funny story John and heart warming at the same time we need to hang on to our sense of humor to get us through the day sometimes.
ReplyDelete