Gorgeous Dave earned his nickname on the very first shift he did as a Samaritan .
It was Sams stalwart Norma who coined the phrase, for after he walked past her booth and flashed a pearly white smile at her she looked at me with a look of astonishment and mouthed the words " Fuck he's gorgeous !" So dithered by his sudden appearance ( presumably one that was accompanied by a fanfare of celestial trumpets) she promptly knocked her crutches from the back of her chair but never let her caller know that she had just been wrong footed by a surge of oestrogen .....
Now that's a professional Samaritan for you!
Last night I went for a drink with Gorgeous Dave. We had become friendly during his brief time with us and both of us thought it time we reconnected . Gorgeous Dave had recently split up from a long term girlfriend.....and you know my history only too well, so meeting up over a pint to lick wounds seemed only sensible , especially given the fact we were both used dealing with sad stories!
Now GD is dealing with being a singleton in a slightly different way to me . Where as I have spent too long a time crying at TV re runs of Pet Rescue in my track suit bottoms ( the ones with a hole in the crutch) whilst eating anything savoury from out of the fridge GD had made the most of his looks and has started to think about dating again.
Gorgeous people can do that. mouldy old pongos like me cannot.....it's the way of the world
I explained to GD that 56 in gay years means that you are more past your gay sell by date than if you were a three month old prawn sandwich left in your glove box.
He was lucky, he was straight, looked almost 30 and had teeth like Donny Osmond , he'd be snapped up as quickly as a Black Friday 62 inch tv.
We laughed about it but playing the daddy role I did suggest that he spends some time on his own.
It's easy to hide your hurt behind dating......especially if you look like a Welsh Dev Patel.
When you look like a gone to seed Russel Crowe in hole filled sweatpants its easier to have the time to reflect that dating is not quite the answer to grief
Ps
This was intended to be a frivilious post and not one fishing for complements.....
The photo is not of the real Dave but is a pretty close version
I will leave you with the views i can see now....winnie bumming chips at the beach cafe
Don't sell yourself so short. Somewhere there is the right guy who will see you for the wonderful person you are. If I were just twenty years younger!
ReplyDeletePeter
Flattered Peter xx
DeleteHaving posted a picture of Gorgeous Dave in "Going Gently", I suspect that he will receive many offers from the blog lasses who will post comments after this one...
ReplyDeleteBut that would make most of John's female readers into cradle snatchers (no offence meant to either John or his largely aged audience). Which reminds me of one of the worst social disasters I nearly committed. I escaped on such a narrow margin I still thank the god of near misses. Introduced by the artist to a group I hadn't met before, the next morning over a tres elegant breakfast I nearly asked the gallery owner, the host of the vernissage, something about her "son". Luckily, before I could do so my own son (then very young) distracted me with the urgency so typical of a child. Her "son" turned out to be her boyfriend.
DeleteIf she could have a boyfriend who looked like her son, you could make a bid for Gorgeous Dave Gemma! He could perform various duties including cooking, cleaning and answering the telephone.
DeleteAlas, YP, Georgeous Dave couldn't be further from my "type", regardless of age. Neither am I on the market - preferring to do my own cooking, cleaning and answering the phone "Gemma Mansion ..."
DeleteWe middle aged people here are still very much sexual beings
Delete..but right at the moment...sex is not on the agenda
You made me laugh with 'Mouldy old pongo'. If that's really how you see yourself then it's something you can remedy. You already have a generous heart. xx
ReplyDeleteThat's how I've always seen myself
DeleteDoes Dave have a day job?. Dating for him and you would be organically different...people have to focus on others in their 'swimming lane' if you know what I mean....so, in time, no teenyboppers (that ages me) for you and no retired gents for him perhaps? x
ReplyDeleteYes he works full time
DeleteI don't think I made sense there John....I meant no older ladies for him.....
ReplyDeleteI have to admit that he is a stunner. All in all, I think he has a head start on you in the dating game, but actually you had a head start on him. Buy yourself a new suit instead of sweatpants. With a clean white shirt it would improve your self-esteem and work wonders.
ReplyDeleteAnd a good pair of shoes - suits are ruined by trainers!
DeleteAgree Tom
DeleteI don't agree - I don't like people that try too hard for effect. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being your genuine self, it's much more appealing. So there's nothing wrong in wearing sweat pants if that's what you're comfortable in. I'm sure John has the suit, shirt, tie etc for the occasions that call for such attire but the fact that he chooses to wear his sweats at other times because they're comfortable make him much more appealing and genuine.
DeleteJohn - there are other older singletons out there too, you'll find him when you're least expecting it and most likely when you're wearing your sweats.
I can tidy up nicely but I've. Never EVER been a naturally smart person as bel ami here, he'll vouch for that one
DeleteOk then. I give in to Heidi. Buy yourself a string vest and hit the town. Let me know how you get on.
DeleteI agree . . . love that face!
ReplyDeleteGood advice for GD . . . “dating isn’t the answer to grief” . . .
As (straight me) speaking to (gay you) . . . I find you handsome, with a generous kind heart, a delicious sense of humor . . . a love for “all creations great and small . . . bright, intelligent,p & so much more.
And I encourage you to not sell YOURSELF short . . . believe me . . . if you want to meet someone . . . he is just around the corner, also . . . wanting to meet some one.
Not about age, scruffiness, extra pounds, none of that.
Like finds Like, Kind finds Kind, Love finds Love . . . trust it to be so.
One day perhaps
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm not looking for one
DeleteWell, John, sigh, joggers with holes (particularly in the crotch area) will never do anything to increase your stock value. Not least in your own eyes,in the privacy of your own company.
ReplyDeleteYou undersell yourself. For starters you have a lovely smile, soulful eyes, good facial bone structure and a "manly" figure (I like your arms) - and that's before anyone starts raving about your "inner" beauty.
Strange though, maybe there are exceptions, that all gay men I have ever met were absolutely immaculately turned out (apart from the barely-out-of-their- nappies rent boys you come across in films; so scruffy if gorgeous by dint of youth, all my sisterly/motherly instincts point the way to the nearest shower). The secret ingredient? Confidence.
Other than that, good advice you gave the young man: If only people were able to spend time alone they'd shed that whiff of despair in pursuit of that needle in the haystack.
Good luck to both of you.
Flexes manly arms and smiles
DeleteI often think of the young and beautiful as hard work, can you imagine having to compose yourself before getting out of bed in the morning, sucking it all in, stand straight, head up, smile. Nah give me my ole man any day, he's real, just as I like them, so are you!
ReplyDeleteMarlene when I was young I had a great body and wasn't bad looking so it was easy. My husband left me when I was 51 (so think another 16 kg on top). When I started dating again I was a little embarrassed by my now saggy body but then I thought "what the hell - he's not embarrassed is he" so just went with the flow! In the end there aren't many Greek gods around!
DeleteNice one
DeleteEveryone else is saying it, toss the holey pants, get up and out. You are bright, whitty, mature, and cute. When you are ready, there is another 50-something out there, looking for someone to walk dogs with.
ReplyDeleteWhat about a 40 something david?
DeleteYou wanna be a sugar daddy?
DeleteThere will be someone for you. And maybe getting out there for GD is the best thing for him. life is for living, get out there and grab it by the arse (I was going to say tail then..) and have a good time! maybe stitch up the hole in the joggers, unless it is for ventilation! ha ha
ReplyDeleteI've binned them
DeleteThere will be someone out there for you, and someone who isn't so shallow as to care about appearance (although I still agree with others about getting rid of those joggers!). Don't forget that the way you dress has an effect on the way that you feel, so smarten up and straighten up.
ReplyDeleteA bit of wallowing and introspection is natural, but now you are starting to go out again don't put up barriers that stop anyone getting to know you. You are a lovely and kindhearted man, and anyone would be lucky to have you as a friend.
This is sound advice Athene. John could pick up a nice dark suit from Matalan and perhaps a smart pair of brogues from Clarks. A visit to the local barbershop would also not come amiss. I know that we should not judge a book by its cover but the reality is that most people do!
DeleteI wouldn't go that far YP ... clean jeans and a Walking Dead t-shirt are fine in my view! It wasn't so much about others judging us by our appearance, as about how clothes make us feel.
DeleteAnd clean underpants
DeleteBrown ones - just in case.
DeleteThis was designed to be a friviolous post xxx
ReplyDeleteThere is no hope of a post ever being taken as we mean it John. You should know that by now.
DeleteIndeed sigh
DeleteDid Winnie get any chips?
DeleteThat is what I want to know !
DeleteSeveral, half a sausage and three bits of bacon
DeleteI swear that I'm laughing with you and not at you but this was the funniest post I have read in weeks, lololol!!! Also I am right there buddy, my best before date says "B.C." I think 35 years old is 107 in gay years from what I see. Our big problem is the extremely limited number of potential partners we have as opposed to a straight man who would have hundreds of potential partners to choose from. A young handsome guy would have thousands.
ReplyDeleteGlad it gave you a laugh steve...that was my intention
DeleteAs you sit wallowing, watching re runs of Pet Rescue, treat yourself to a darning mushroom and get started on your holey crutch. Along the way you might just mend the hole in your heart. One word of warning, don’t stab your honeymoon tackle, you never know when it will be called to arms...
ReplyDeleteLXX
Okokok ive thrown them away!!!!!!!
DeleteWinnie has beautiful rolls! And I agree on the taking a break before diving back into dating after a breakup.
ReplyDeleteYes......too many jump in too quick.... some people can't cope with themselves and need to have Someone else in bed or on their arm
DeleteYou're so right John.You need time t lick your wounds 😙😉xx
DeleteAbsolutely
DeleteI think you've had enough of a break. You are a very attractive man! I've often thought if you swung the other way I would seriously crush on you. I agree a good, up-to-date dark suit and white shirt and a trip to a barber to groom that sexy facial hair would transform you into a hottie. And nothing wrong with Russell Crowe. I find he has a certain dissipated vulnerability that is downright "hawt af." Enough wallowing and introspection! If your libido is in neutral, perhaps read a few online dating profiles to get you started at least wanting to get out there. Fortune favours the bold! And remember to be ready when the mood strikes you!
ReplyDelete-invisigal
I need a bit longer dearheart x
DeleteI’d date you.😍
ReplyDeleteFlattered
DeleteI have no dating advice but how is that woman managing to ignore Winnie and continue eating her chips? She must have a heart of stone!
ReplyDeleteNo she fed her a sausage, chips and her son passed over his bacon
Deleteif things were different, i would be standing in your lane hopeing for a glimpse of you thru window, And hanging presents on your gate.
ReplyDeletebut there is an ocean between us, and no one wants a 64 yr old redneck gay person here in wv
Shucks ronaldo xx
DeleteJust what is the matter with the people commenting on here? From John making a frivolous remark about his sweat pants it's degenerated into a 'slag off his appearance' session! Somebody even directing him to the shower! Not to mention sending him to Matalan - for goodness sake! What a way to support him, those comments are enough to make anybody sink into depression. Think before commenting, casually thrown comments can hurt.
ReplyDeleteNo Heidi, it's all in fun ( I hope) I wanted this post to be a silly funny one
DeleteJohn I think I'm your female equivalent. Sweat pants is my current "go to" attire as I'm now retired, although no holes as I know how to use a sewing machine! The absolute best though is no bra (sorry TMI). Bliss, not to mention the woolly socks. I don't go out this way (as yet) but it is so warm and comfortable and as long as it doesn't become permanent why not!
ReplyDeleteTHEY ARE IN THE BIN!!!!!!!!! The bloody things .ARE IN THE BIN XXXXXX
DeleteI enjoyed reading your post...it put a small on my face. You do so have a way with words. It is a bitch getting older, isn't it? But the alternative is worse!
ReplyDeleteCheers mick
DeleteJohn, this has been quite the read. I can only add, black jeans, white shirt. Invest in decent trainers, any color than white. When I had to learn to walk again, it was butt out, stomach in, shoulders back, chin up. Makes you look decent, too. Meet new people at every opportunity. In the vet office, in he check out line. If you like them, don't let go soon. Meet for breakfast, lunch.
ReplyDeleteWell damn, all I intended to say was black jeans, white shirt, and see what you've done to me.
Joanne xxoo
What on earth would you want to dress up in a suit for! I agree with Heidi above. You are you, and there is no need to change. Be comfortable, be you, that's more than good enough!
ReplyDeleteHappy New year
Pauline B
I've only own one suit... my wedding tux 🙁
DeleteI disagree with you. I think you're a very nice looking man. Getting older is difficult but it does force us to look beyond the wrapping.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure there are gay men, as there are straight men, who look past the outside and want to love your soul. I found that and it makes me cry just writing this. It's a lovely thing.
You have taste lily
DeleteYou got me laughing on that one! Thanks, I needed that!
ReplyDeleteI wish I were only 56 again. Even ten years can seem like forty if you are aging fast. I started geezering up long ago and am trying to turn it into an art form, just to get a little recognition for still being alive.
Glad you laughed that was my intention
DeleteYou are such an excellent storyteller, John Gray. And quite frankly, of the two of you, Gorgeous Dave might be pretty but it would be you that would attract someone looking for true love. You should watch that documentary about Armistead Maupin for inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI will, I've always loved his books
DeleteLoved your post. Gave me a laugh. I'm a very lazy dresser and comfort is the way forward if you ask me, but please don't ask me, I'm giving up advice for this year! Take care and wear what you like! Oops, is that advice?? xx
ReplyDeleteLooking like "a Welsh Dev Patel" -- great image! This whole post was one long delightful turn of phrase!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed writing it
DeleteI didn't want to do the whole mummy reading the riot act thingy but my ex led me a merry dance over Xmas and the new yearx my tear swollen eyes once coaxed back into their sockets will sparkle again. I am going out tomorrow with my hair done and my makeup on in defiance of my misery x he can reduce me to an emotional heap of rubble but he can never spoil who I am or break my will. I wish you were in Coventry if you ever are please let me know x you are such a worthwhile person but I fully understand your pain x hugs and love x it takes time John x
ReplyDeleteTits up and out jomo
DeleteGone to seed Russell Crowe? And that’s bad because of the hole filled sweatpants??
ReplyDeleteXoXo
Has that dog no shame?
ReplyDeleteNo whatsoever
DeleteYou might not be out there on the pull at the moment, but your gorgeous girl has no such reservations when it comes to snaffling chips :-)
ReplyDeleteYay Winnie.
ReplyDeleteThe 'mouldie old pongo' made me smile. And wince. I think I have always been in that category (in my head at least). And love that you reached out to Dave through your own pain.
We all need a few mates eh?
DeleteBeing wanted for you looks must be awful......but I'll never know for sure.
ReplyDeleteMe neither
DeleteI was relieved to hear that you intended this as a light-hearted piece because it did make me smile. And that Winnie! Shameless! But so very endearing.
ReplyDeleteYes it was nevera serious post, I've posted too many of them recently
DeleteWell Winnie is not the kind of girl you take home to mom but she is quite special. I admire you being able to give solace to someone else. Compassion was always one of your best attributes. Also don't sell yourself short, John.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky I've had ashedload of support
DeleteOMG you are hilarious! I was thinking that WAS Gorgeous Dave right up to the end of the Post and that image, yeah, GORGEOUS! GD should have no trouble overcoming Grief alone anyway... winks.
ReplyDeleteThe real gorgeous dave read it and found it amusing too
DeleteI like this post. Your truth is not necessarily his tho. I didn't meet G till I was 40. Then again I doubt if he would look twice at me now. Yes, I am dieting.
ReplyDeleteNo, but I have the benefit of experience xx
DeleteYou binned them? A good pair or pre holed and naturally distressed pants?
ReplyDeleteIn the bin bag
DeleteI love your colleagues professionalism. LOL
ReplyDeleteWinnie is so damn cute as she begs.
She was serious and demanding
DeleteMouldy old pongos !!! ... you are the prince of prose Mr Gray x
ReplyDeleteThere are millions of mouldy old pongos in the world's gay capital 'Sydney':)You have a distinguished look which would go down well here. No worries luv...you'd be fighting them off, whisked off your feet before you reached the hotel.Weather is nice at the moment...pack you budgie smugglers and come on dooown !:)
ReplyDeleteLovely photos John with a beach as lovely as that every day is a good day, good advice you gave to Dave to spend some time on his own, a friend of mine was never alone got married from her parents home, left her husband and moved in with a previous boyfriend got married not happy, left him and went back to her first husband not happy instead of taking the responsibility to get to know herself and find out what she wanted out of life just could not manage on her own.
ReplyDeletetime you chucked the holy joggers and bought some new underwear chuck , there is someone out there for you . Hell i found a weirdo who made a good cuppa and didnt bat an eyelid at my oddities so theres hope for everyone
ReplyDeleteEvery branch of Samaritans has a GD. My branch is lucky enough to have two - Athletic Andy and Rough'n'Ready Ryan. They need no further explanation...
ReplyDeleteYou have two my friend !@!!
DeleteGive me an email..ive got some sams questions
Deletejgsheffield@hotmail.com
I want to see the real gorgeous Dave. Did Winnie know those people she bummed chip from?
ReplyDeleteLook at upur email
DeleteI'm with Mitchell! LOL! Love those pictures of Winnie.
ReplyDeletePersistence paid off for Winnie in the end! It’s a lovely beach, John, to blow the cobwebs away x
ReplyDeleteyou have a lot to offer someone! you're nice looking, have a fantastic sense of humor and you are KIND!!! The dogs and cat are bonus.
ReplyDeleteBarb in PA USA
Loved seeing that your Gorgeous Dave stand-in was Manish Dayal, one of my favorite actors (now starring on TV in The Resident). He is very gorgeous! But you have your own devilishly handsome charm and delightfully unique personality!
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