Dear Mathew,
I received your card and letter on Friday.
I wish you had put a return address on it.
I have thought about it a great deal over the past two days
This is my reply.
"Being lonely can be the most dreadful of feelings to deal with but being lonely and unable to be yourself in a place that has been your much loved home for six decades must at times be unbearable.
I was moved to tears by your description of the family party. Being an actor who smiles through though the petty, snide and supposedly funny asides from others who think it funny to publically "out" you takes great courage and believe me, if you were with us all in a real Going Gently world, rather than in the virtual world we all inhabit here, you would be hugged long and hard by me and the other much more gentler souls who visit here.
Suicide is an option . I understand that and I respect your thoughts and plans about how you want your life to go but now you have shared how you feel in this "safe" place maybe there are other safe places, safe friends, safe professionals, safe people and safe gay organisations to share your burdens and your dark thoughts with.
Carrying around the shame of being gay for half a century is too long. In anyone's mind it is wrong and your letter perhaps points to that. I am touched that Going Gently has allowed you to smile at another perspective of being a middle aged gay pongo! It is my perspective and mine alone, I understand that.
(and no I have no idea where I picked up the phrase)
Please Email me (jgsheffield@hotmail.com)or write to me again you have my address. I can facetime or skype regardless of the time difference if that's a help.
In my experience people are generally kind souls.
but its hard to see that sometimes when things feel bleak and overwhelming."
With my best wishes.
John
Dear John and dear Matthew -- words fail me ..
ReplyDelete.. but yes, I´s be one of those who´d hug you, "being proud to have a friend just like you"
.. Alex
This has moved me to tears, both Matthew's situation and John's wonderful understanding reply. Sending virtual hugs aplenty.
ReplyDeleteI think we all can give Mathew a few words of. Support
DeleteMatthew you deserve to be accepted and loved just as you are. Don't give up, we are all here for you. Let our love surround you and help you through this dark time, it can and will get better. Get back in touch with John, talk it out and wait for a brighter day. Karen xxxx
DeleteI’m ready with a hug Matthew xx
ReplyDeleteOh you poor love. I would be first in the line to hug you (and John)and I am sure it would be a very long line. My heart is aching for you. x
ReplyDeleteMatthew,
ReplyDeleteHere's a big cuddly ((((((((hug)))))))) for you!
I know you're not a serial hugger John, but tough, here's a ((((((((hug)))))))) for you too! X
John, you are a wonderful and kind man. Matthew,may kindness and love find you.
ReplyDeleteI'm the sister of a middle-aged gay man, the first person to whom he "came out" several decades ago. Hugs from Texas.
ReplyDeleteHuge hugs to both of you from me. Cathy xxxx
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew sending you love and hugs from Ireland xxxx
ReplyDeleteJohn you have a beautiful heart xxxx Meg
This post is Not about me.
Deletemathew, YOU ARE LOVED!
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew, I know there are many supportive people there for you when you are ready, please accept a virtual hug and a cup of tea.
ReplyDeleteHello Matthew. Please accept this virtual warm gentle hug from me. I've been told I am a good hugger.
ReplyDeleteMatthew, I'm so glad you reached out to John and he chose to share with us. Sending you love X
ReplyDeleteMatthew, hugs from Canada. I really hope you take John up on his offer.
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew, my wish for this coming week is that you e mail John. I am certain things can improve for you if you reach out. JanF
ReplyDeleteAnd here's a mother who would gladly and proudly take you into a big hug, Matthew! You would be welcome in our family which consists of many different types of people, all cherished for their differences. There are a lot of loving people out here who would absolutely love you for exactly who you are. I hope that you can find those people and that you know you are worthy of love and affection and caring. Thank goodness you've found Going Gently where there is a community of people who care deeply.
ReplyDeleteMathew, very courageous of you to write to John, but he's the best person to write to anyway. As you've already seen, lots of virtual hugs and support for you here. I hope it helps you x
ReplyDeleteBig hug🐻 Matthew
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew: Please keep reaching out. There are a lot more kind of sensitive and loving people out here than you might imagine and we need kind and sensitive people like you! Reach out to anyone of us and share... and we'll share back. We are all of us survivors!
ReplyDeleteHere’s a person who would give you a hug/cuddle/listening ear in reality if she could. Cyberhug to you Matthew. X
ReplyDeleteMathew, go out and meet some gays in a gay club or organisation. Once you have gone in through the door you will wonder why you waited so long, even if the first time you only stay a little while. The next time won't be nearly so difficult. Even just a few words with someone will feel like the world. Rachel
ReplyDeleteMatthew, I think you've done a very good thing communicating your feelings with John. I sincerely hope you are able to keep doing that. Just getting it off your chest, even if you need to keep doing it over and over, will hopefully lift even a bit of your burden. There really are decent people out there. Authenticity. -Jenn
ReplyDeleteAs the mother of a gay young man I cannot imagine him having to hide himself, the pain must be unbearable. I offer you a virtual hug, and hope you continue to reach out.
ReplyDeleteHelen
Hugs to you, Matthew. You have the right to be who you are and you're a great person, no matter what any asshole says.
ReplyDeleteMatthew - do not feel shame. Please do not feel shame. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Keep reaching out and surround yourself with supportive people.
ReplyDeleteMatthew, the shame is not yours, it is theirs and you are not required to put yourself on display for your uncaring family. I don't know if you have the option of finding a community of gay and/or understanding straights where you live, but there is a wonderful supporting and loving community here.
ReplyDeleteMatthew I am so sorry that your life is as it is at the moment, well done for reaching out to John, sending copious hugs to you. Alison from Shropshire (just to differentiate from the other Alisons who post on John's blog)
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew please please please reach out to John again. Your life is worth something and no matter your age you deserve happiness regardless of the small mindedness of some on you life XX hugs fron a virtual friend Jenni
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you both xx
ReplyDeleteHi Matthew, this is amsterdam reaching out to you. You are loved, just for your courage to write to John. If you would like an email penfriend (female, 57),drop me a line. Love, eavdveen@planet.nl
ReplyDeleteNice idea adie
DeleteMatthew, you have taken a big step forward now, keep putting one foot in front of the other. John is the perfect person to help you do this. Keep going. x
ReplyDeleteMathew, unconditional love finds us when we least expect it. Just as the sun rises each morning, each day we are offered a new beginning, the world is full of opportunities and adventures near and far.
ReplyDeleteYes Matthew, please do take John up on his offer. These things can and will work themselves out. Life can get nasty, mean and dark, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. And keep this in mind... When you feel like giving up, just remember the reason why you held on for so long.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you
Perhaps blogs like these may also be of some use
Deletehttps://mcpersonalspace54.wordpress.com
http://sooo-this-is-me.blogspot.com
Matthew, you are at the start of the rest of your life and have made a brave step forward, see how many people are out here waiting for you. Hugs from Carmarthen x
ReplyDeleteMatthew - You are braver than you think and stronger than you know!! ((( Hugs )))from Minnesota!!
ReplyDeleteMatthew, please be in contact with John. He is a loving soul who will help.
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew, I don't know what your circumstances are but I do know that I started to cry when I read what John had to say to you. Depression is a dangerous disease. It lies to people. It tells us things that are not true.
ReplyDeleteI have struggled with depression since I was a child and more than once I have thought about suicide as a viable option to stop the pain that I feel. But I didn't and I'm so thankful (most of the time) that I didn't.
There are no easy answers. Dealing with depression takes work every single day, from a walk outside, to asking for hugs from friends, to doing something for others. It's hard work but it's important work.
I don't know you but I do know that you matter.
Reach out Matthew. You will be amazed at how much goodness there is in the world. Sending hugs.
Matthew, we are all sending you hugs! I know it's difficult to believe, but you'll find there will be MUCH more acceptance than shaming. I'm glad you found John and his blog, where compassion is overflowing.
ReplyDeleteI have not read your card Matthew but it sounds as though you sent out a signal and that in itself is a positive step. Your life is a treasure - the most precious possession that anyone can have. Cherish it. The memories you have made and the memories still to come. Be kind to yourself. Seek small victories. Be proud of who you are - who you really are and remember that springtime ais just round the corner.
ReplyDeleteMathew, wishing you peace of heart and the certainty that you are a worthwhile and important person, one of us all, and we would be the poorer without you with us. Hugs from me to you.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you Matthew, whoever you are.
ReplyDeleteMatthew, I too am glad that you reached out to John and that is a very difficult but positive first step. Please contact him again, you deserve to be listened to and understood. Your life is too precious a gift to be wasted on people, even if they are family, who seek to demean you. You can turn things around, life can and will be better and I believe that you can do it.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs
Su in Lancashire
I don't often comment, but had to reach out to add my support to you, along with all these others. There are so many people, good and loving people, who want to give you a hug and are hoping you will reach out to John again. Things can and will get better! You are surrounded here by people who wish you everything good.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you Mathew from me in California. You have made a brave step in reaching out to John, please continue reaching out, there are good people out there and you are precious.
ReplyDeleteI am the Mum of a gay daughter. There are x family members even her father who are poorer for not knowing what a wonderful person she is.
ReplyDeleteYou will find acceptance and what a good first step to reach out to John. You are who you are and that is wonderful.
Hugs, gayle
I wish I had something brilliant and insightful to say. What I do know is that family and work relationships are complicated. I found it helpful to find one, maybe two, friends that accept me as I am. This takes time because steadfast friends aren’t found overnight, but are made over time. Once you feel accepted as the person you are, it gets easier to be that person in your daily life. I think it takes courage. One step at a time.
ReplyDeleteI hope you can find acceptance in more places than here. We are an accepting crowd. Welcome.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step and you have taken that step Matthew. Please reach out to John again and be assured that your life is worth living and that there are people who care. With love and hugs, Tracy.
ReplyDeleteDear Mathew
ReplyDeleteYou've made that first brave step and contacted John - I can't think of a better person to get in touch with - he has helped so many with his understanding.
Do write to him again - or get in touch another way - every contact you make is another step in the right direction. I am grandmother to a transgender grandson - he is at last beginning to hold his head high and step out into the world. It is never too late. Best wishes and love to you
You are a beautiful man!
ReplyDelete((hugs)) Matthew.
ReplyDeleteMathew
ReplyDeleteI'm a grandfather to 3, and there are several LGBTQ members of my close family. I care about you, and would like to send you love and know that many people here care very much about you. John has my email, I'd be happy to talk to you. Do take care, my friend.
Mike
Mathew...good advice here x
DeleteHugs to you Matthew. John and all of us are here for you. Rachel had a great suggestion. There are people nearby that you can reach out to. I hope today is a better day. Mardy 🇨🇦
ReplyDeleteMatthew , you have already taken a step towards better things .John was very wise to give us all a chance to let you see that kindness and understanding are not as rare as you think . Why not e mail him - it can't do any harm and you already "know " him a bit .
ReplyDeleteReaching out is the first, brave step Matthew. Please contact John again and believe that you are a very special person, who should not have to hide who you really are and shame on those that make you feel that way. Sending a big hug x
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew, my husband and I have talked over the years of being parents to two boys about the possibilities of their sexual orientations. We've had the support of lovely gay neighbors who befriended them as young adults looking for different perspectives. We were both bullied a lot in school and have therefor home schooled them. We've agreed that being good parents means supporting them as they are, not as we might wish them to be, and have come to realize we do not wish them to be one way or another, but just to be happy in themselves as they are. I would take on any family member who dared to judge or mistreat them in any way because of any part of their personal makeup or choices. I am so sorry you didn't have that back up, because you deserved it all along,and still do.I think you will find it as you find your family of choice, as opposed to family of birth. Hugs from Carroll,a mama in Vermont.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I read about your (beautiful) card and John's reply, I wanted to give you the biggest hug, to reassure you that everything will be alright. It really WILL. Please know that so many of us feel such sympathy for you as you come to terms with whatever has gone before and whatever the future holds. We wish you strength, courage and the ability to continue reaching out. (((((Mathew))))) xx
ReplyDeleteYou have taken the first step Matthew.... all power to you.
ReplyDeleteLXX
I haven't commented on John's blog before* but I just wanted to send all my love to Mathew. One day everyone will not only accept but positively relish humankind's wonderful diversity. In the meantime, Mathew, know that John's readers already love you. XX
ReplyDelete* You all seem so witty that I never think I have much to add.
Oh Matthew, you have a huge fabulous world just waiting for you to fling yourself into with abandon:)
ReplyDeleteMy son had 3 “fairy godmothers” when he was born, they worked for my husband and were family in our hearts.
The basic wonderful things about you and most people is kindness.
Ignorance is the problem some people suffer.
Feel sorry for the stupid ones and rejoice in the love of the rest of us.
I am proud to have friends that I can call Queens 💕💕
Thank you everyone...there's a lot of Mathew support on this page
ReplyDeleteMatthew, please take John up on his offer. He is trained to help people - physically and mentally.
ReplyDeleteDear Mathew
ReplyDeleteDon't let the idiots grind you down; please talk to a friend, your gp or anyone you feel comfortable with. There are some nice, loving people out here who can help you.
Best wishes. xx
I think there is a reason sent you that beautiful card. I think he thought he could 'talk' to you because of your situation and experience. I hope that he contacts you again.
ReplyDeleteThank you John.
ReplyDeleteI do hope that Matthew reads this, feels the love and contacts you.
Hello Matthew just adding my love and support x be who you are with pride and please email if you want to talk x aspects2109@gmail.com sometimes it is easier to reach out to those who don't know you and who won't judge you xlots of love and hugs x
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMatthew, it must be so difficult not to be yourself. I have taught my own children that love is love and that so long as they are kind and try their best then that is all I expect from them. I am so sorry that you are not surrounded by kind, accepting people who enable you to be the person that you are. Remember that you are as good as anyone and nobody has the right to judge you. Value yourself Matthew and your right to be you. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew, please don’t feel any shame, there is no reason to, and please write/email John again. There is no better person to talk to, you can have a wonderful future, you have a lot of people in your corner. Sending a big hug, Matthew and thank you John, for allowing us all to send Matthew all our best wishes xx
ReplyDeleteSending hugs Matthew (((())))xx
ReplyDeleteMatthew, you have come to a good place to find love and acceptance. Please take John up on his offer, and in the meantime, know that his blog readers are behind you all the way. I'm so sorry for your present circumstances and hope this is the start of something much better. Hugs
ReplyDeleteBig hugs to you from South Carolina. Please know that you deserve so much better than the way you've been treated. Please keep in close touch with John and his GG family when you need help. ❤💜💛💙💚
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew;
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you found John and wrote that note. This blog is a safe place to visit and hopefully, you too will consider becoming a member of the "pack". This blog contains a fine community of people who really give a damn about each other. Hang in there and ya'll come back. X
A huge hug to you Matthew wherever you are. I hope you’ll find comfort and peace
ReplyDeleteIs that the card from Mathew John? if it is then.....Mathew.. that card shows a beautiful bunch of flowers in a beautiful jug....focus on how much beauty there is in the world to see and experience..x
ReplyDeleteIt was Libby, I wanted him to know that I read it. Mathew is from the USA
DeleteYes, if only there could be a "Going Gently" world. What a better place it would be.
ReplyDeleteDear Mathew,
This world can be such a crazy, unfair cruel place at times but that is only one side of the coin. Flip it over and you find people that care and love one another for who we are on the inside. I hope you will email or contact John for I truly believe he can help you. I hope you know you are among friends here. I welcome you to email me anytime if you need someone to talk with. (email on profile) It is never too late to learn to enjoy life. I am 66 and in the process of learning that myself. Hugs to you and know that many people you don't even know care about you!
Hugs Matthew. I hope you find the help and peace of mind you seek. x
ReplyDeleteDear Mathew,Maybe this is the turning point-and things will get better from now on.
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew, sending you a big, gentle hug. You are so, so right to reach out to John. I hope you are comfortable with complete strangers like myself commenting. Sending you limitless love, hope and care, Michelle in Wellington, New Zealand
ReplyDeleteMatthew, hello from the South Coast
ReplyDeleteHaving known many gay work collegues of varying ages who have become great friends, l miss their company very much now l have moved from London.
If you are around Brighton/Eastbourne/Hastings and fancy a trip out with an old fag hag like me!
Let John know and we will have a meet up for a walkabout/spot of shopping/lunch or just a coffee
Much love Tess xx
Dear Matthew: I hope you can reach out and find some help and build a supportive network that makes you feel safe and welcome. I think you could not have spoken to a more supportive person than John. I hope that people's responses have given you a glimpse of the kindness that there can be.
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew ... people can be so cruel ... but ... not everyone. Drop John a line :)
ReplyDeleteSending you much love and respect Matthew. This is your first step, keep going and stay strong. It takes courage to reach out and you've shown that you have it. Never give up. Do take advantage of all John's experience.
ReplyDeleteLove to you both xx
ReplyDeleteHang in there, Matthew xx
ReplyDeleteBeautiful response, John xx
Dear Matthew. I hope you read the comments on John's blog. Like others have said, you have taken the first steps putting your feelings into a letter and posting it to John.
ReplyDeleteIt is not easy re-inventing your life at any age. Take small steps, I hope you contact John again, he has many life experiences and would be a kind and sensitive soul to communicate with.
Please know there are many of us on John's blog who have gay friends and relations. Sorry you have had a bad time, I'm sending you a hug and both you and John my best wishes and kind thoughts. Heather x
And hugs from California too.
ReplyDeleteYou need to find your tribe, Matthew! We can be virtual tribe but find some people you can see in person, you probably already know some. The people who genuinely care about you will support you no matter what, who are they?
ReplyDeleteMuch love to you, you've just started the hardest and most rewarding work of your life
Dear Matthew, When things are at their darkest, look for the small things. Can you look and see if the sun is shining, can you hear bird song or a fav melody, or smell the coffee. Please get in touch with John, as he radiates love and warmth from his very being. Sending you much love. Fiona New Zealand. Kia Kaha = Be Strong/Strength to you xxx
ReplyDeleteHello Matthew!!,Sending Love n Best Wishes from the Midlands UK,XX
ReplyDeleteHi Matthew! Hugs from the USA!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend of 60 plus years who never felt able to come out to a lot of us old friends until about 20 years ago. I think he retired to another part of the country so he could be himself where he wasn't known by people his entire life...
Now that he's out to us, it hasn't changed ONE THING that I feel about him.. he's still my well loved old friend...
Hoping you can find that secure place.. you are loved, even at this distance. Find your own place and live the life you want, even if it means relocating.
Matthew, it gets better the more true to yourself that you are.
ReplyDeleteI was raised by a mother who also found it funny to make jokes about my most dearly held held wishes about yourself, my most tender feelings of triumph, even on my 60th birthday. Ha ha. Very funny. I haven't spoken to her since then, but I would never give her the satisfaction of letting her know that I took her stupidity to heart.
You are here with a community of people who don't know you, but we do, and we care -- you are welcomed here, so please stay.
Dear Matthew,
ReplyDeletejust wanted to chime in with the rest here and add that being a bit older might actually work in your favour at this point. I´m 59, and after a life of trying to please others (and never succeeding) I find that I care less every day what other people think. Quite a liberating feeling...
A hug and best wishes to you.
Dear Matthew, as a mother of a gay son I send you my love and support and as many hugs as it takes to make you feel secure and loved in your own skin. No one should have to be ashamed of who they are and I am very sad you have been made to feel like this. Please take John up on his offer, this blog is the very place to feel welcomed and secure, John is well loved by all of his readers and is a sincere, compassionate man. I admire courage and you have it in spades. Much love.
ReplyDeleteJo in Auckland, New Zealand
Not quite true hated by a couple but not because I am gay.....lol
DeleteLol John, they don't count and they probably no longer read! But point taken! Que sera sera
DeleteJo in Auckland
Dear Mathew my heart goes out to you please keep in touch with John we have support groups here on Vancouver Island check your phone book and you might be surprised to find a whole set of friends much like the ones here on John's going gently, hugs.
ReplyDeleteI too am moved. Matthew, know that yet another person from another part of the world is reaching out to give you yet another hug. One can never have too much love and support. As others have said, you can reach out to me as well (my blog has an email me button) and I'll chat anytime you want.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this John, hugs to you as always!!
Mathew....
ReplyDeleteLots of support and on Going support here...
Dear Mathew, Though you feel alone, you aren't. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. I wish you peace and strength.
ReplyDeleteMicks blog is a great read Mathew
DeleteMatthew, I just want you to know that the world is full of kind and supportive people like you've met here. Have faith that you'll find your own happiness and until then please know we are all thinking of you, from all over the world. I wish I could give you a hug.
ReplyDeleteDear Mathew,
ReplyDeleteI read this blog often, but have never commented as others seem to be able to say what I want to, but more effectively. However, i think it is important that you hear from all of us, so I will add my meager ideas.
I have many diverse friends and acquaintances in my work and personal life, and what is clear is the importance of who they are , not “what” they are. Let me cite two of those friendships as examples of may others.
First is my wok colleague, Bruce. He is gay and now married to his cherished husband - we all went to his wedding on New Years Eve seven years ago. He is a wonderful father and grandfather from a previous relationship and is loved by his family. We,at work, love and value him because is reliable, knowledgeable, committed, loyal, and lots of fun. He is Bruce who contributes to and improves our workplace, and helps us do the same. He is also gay, just like all of us are something in addition to our “work” persona.
My best friend has three adult sons; the oldest is gay. He is also my daughter’s first, dearest, and most loyal friend. She has always said, before and after he came out as gay, that they will be friends forever. He is worthy to be her forever friend as he is kind, thoughtful, respectful, supportive and everything she deserves. She gives him back the same. His parents, brothers, friends and co-workers love and respect him because he is a good person. He is also gay, but.... meh?
You are who are - that will always be enough. Just be a good person, that’s all that’s really important.
Dear Matthew, you are precious x Jo
ReplyDeleteMathew, I admire you for reaching out to John because by doing so you have taken an important step toward feeling better. It takes courage to do this, and there are many, including myself, who lack that courage and feel doomed to suffer in silence. I wish you well and am sending you hugs from the east coast of Canada.
ReplyDeleteDear Mathew - I hope that these virtual messages of support are able to help you. I also send you hugs.
ReplyDeleteMatthew, to thine own self be true. Seek life, love, help others where you can. All of us want this world to work. With you in California.
ReplyDeleteDearest Mathew, sending you lots of hugs from southern California. Please know you are wonderful and loved just the way you are. xo
ReplyDeleteHold on Matthew! Jon is right and there is acceptance here. Reach out and grab the hand that has been extended. Courage is what you have in spades, my friend! Hugs from California!
ReplyDeleteOf course I have no idea what Matthew wrote, but in my experience Gay men who embrace the fact are always loved, whereas those who try to conceal it struggle with themselves. Go with the flow, be honest with yourself, and see the difference it makes. If it is your own family who are making your life difficult... disown them!
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew, I hope you reach out to John or anyone else here who wanted you to know you are valued, worthy of love and friendship, and hopefully without sounding preachy know that you are a beloved child of God. And she doesn't make any mistakes. You are perfect how you are made.
ReplyDeleteMatthew you have read John's words, your 1st contact was the hardest, please find it in yourself to contact John again. We all love and laugh with John and also feel so much for his suffering, we are watching him slowly find his place in his world, along with any setbacks. Steps can be small, but they will lead you to a better place.
ReplyDeleteMatthew, I wish you gentler, brighter, healing days ahead, you absolutely deserve them. Hold on, you have every right to be you and find your place in the world living a life that's right for you, dont let anyone, especially yourself, try to tell you any different. X
ReplyDeleteDearest Matthew, sending you hugs and support from NC. As the proud niece of a gay uncle who I loved dearly and miss every day, know that your life matters. There are so many caring "Going Gently" readers sending you their support, feel the love and may it feel you with peace.
ReplyDeleteDear Mathew,
ReplyDeleteThat was a brave letter to write, and John is the perfect recipient. Sending you a virtual hug from under the Heathrow flightpath and hoping that the support from "Going Gently" readers will help and encourage you. My son is gay - he came out to me when he was 17. He is much loved and valued. I'd like you to feel that you are too. You're probably deluged with offers of penfriends, but if not, count me in. Love and hugs to both you and John, Jxxx
Dear Matthew, Value yourself for the unique and lovable person that you are and ignore anyone who tells you otherwise! Take care and stay strong. x
ReplyDeleteDear, dear Matthew, there's not a lot I can say that hasn't already been said on here. I just wanted to add my virtual ((hugs)) and to say I'll be holding you in my thoughts today and hoping that you feel loved and supported by your fellow Gently's. Take care xx
ReplyDeleteI can't add anything more than has been written here. BUT I hope you won't have a problem if I say I will pray for you. You are wonderfully made and a beloved child of God. Take heart, you are well supported and "virtually hugged" here.
ReplyDeleteJust re iterating everything that has been written here . Well done for contacting John , a wise move . Embrace the love and support here ;hopefully it will give you the strength and courage to try some of the excellent practical suggestions everyone has made xxx
ReplyDeleteOh Matthew, you are carrying a shame that should not be YOUR burden. SHAME on the people that think there is anything wrong with being gay, being different, or being anything but the usual perceived 'norm'.
ReplyDeleteYou are in a safe place here, please keep in touch with John, he speaks wisely and from a position of one that knows of what you speak.
((hugs)) xx
Another voice of a stranger sending best regards. congrats on reaching out to John. He means it when he says he will Skype or FaceTime regardless of time zone.
ReplyDeleteTraveller
Why do people have to be labelled - gay, straight or whatever?? People are people, individuals and as far as I can see it doesn't matter what race, creed, colour or sexuality we are as long as we are good people and strive not to hurt anyone else or force our own opinions or preferences onto any one else. I wish Mathew all the very best - it was sad to read this post. The beautiful card he sent you John seems to give me the impression he is a gentle soul. I hope he can find comfort and happiness.
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew: I know how difficult it is to endure bad behavior from family members. I find it most helpful to assess beliefs and motives and not be affected by those I do not respect - take their power over you away.
ReplyDeleteMy Heart is somewhat lighter than it was just twenty- four hours ago.
ReplyDeleteThank you, thank you.
Humble love from
Matthew
Missoula, MT
Mathew,
DeleteI have just replied to your email.
suck up the lurve!
xxxx
My heart is lighter and happier reading this from Matthew.
DeleteHow lovely to hear from Matthew. Really hoping these messages have helped.
DeleteIt was good to hear from you, Mathew, and believe it when we say you're welcome here. As Cro-magnon wrote, if your family is the problem, go elsewhere if at all possible. Friends are the family you choose for yourself.
DeleteMore hugs - these from the east coast - Virginia.
You have made a lot of people happy my posting here.
DeletePeople say social media is a bad thing....it can be, but it is so nice to share in a post such as this one. Good wishes travelling to Montana
Matthew, I can only add my hug to all the ones above. I'm glad you reached out to John and connected with this community.
ReplyDeleteI add my voice to all the others in this chorus. It's a hard thing to carry so much despair for so long. All the best to you going forward.
ReplyDeleteMatthew, I'm sorry things look so bleak right now. Hold on! You've reached out to the lovely John Gray, and that was the smartest thing you could do. Reach out some more. There are others around you who would cherish you just as you are. I'm saying this as a fellow sufferer of depression and a fellow member of the LGBTQ community (a middle-aged dyke, in fact). You have worth just as you are. Sending you strong hugs and courage, Elizabeth
ReplyDeletePositively love this thread. And Matthew responded! Yay!
ReplyDelete😍
XoXo
Thank you for replying Matthew. More hugs to you xx
ReplyDeleteKathy in Carmarthen
Know that your being thought of Matthew with light and warmth. I am sorry you are suffering, but please, know that there are people who believe in you. I am sure family is difficult, aren't they usually?, so perhaps it is time for you to continue to create your own tribe/family. People who are there for you. We may all be internet folks, but we ARE HERE. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I find this rather timely as I have been listening to a wonderful podcast called On Being. There was an episode about Depression that showcased a few people who have suffered with it and how they dealt with it. Their explanations as to what it was like to be caught in a depressive state was informative and helpful for those who have never quite understood what happens to people in that moment. I will put the link after in case anyone is interested.
https://onbeing.org/programs/the-soul-in-depression-mar2018/
Kisses,
MissFifi
Virtual hugs from Australia Matthew :-)
ReplyDeleteI am glad you are feeling better Matthew. Focus on all the beautiful things in this world and the kindness of all the strangers who are so willing to love and support you. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteMatthew, we believe in you.
ReplyDeleteHugs from New Zealand too!!
ReplyDeleteHugs from Edinburgh Scotland Mathew xx Jacqxx
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew, so very glad you emailed the blog. We're there for you any time you need us. Hugs, Jxxx
ReplyDeleteHi Matthew, I haven't been reading blogs for awhile, as I am pretty much overwhelmed with what's happening in our country and I've been hiding under the bed, so I'm late to this conversation.
ReplyDeleteI can think of so much to say to you--briefly, I taught at MSU in Bozeman for lots of years; now live in Portland in virtual poverty because my ex (privileged old white male who thinks he's a good guy) enjoys the assets we worked together to build; etc. Anyway, you know the story.
I mention this history just to say I'm so sorry for all of us creative, generous, trusting people having to suffer those "slings and arrows" the privileged were happy to send our way. I'm sure you have been deeply hurt by the culture that is now being questioned and changed.
It is changing! And I know there are many open and loving people in Montana who will be good for you to know.
Take good care of yourself.