I'm irritating myself
Last night I went with the family to an am dram version of Charles Dickens Ghost Stories which despite a couple of fair actors in it , couldn't have been more dire if it tried.
Usually I would have seen the humour in the bad writing, wooden acting and stinking ramshackle theatre but to be perfectly honest, the whole event just depressed me even though I tried to be amused when a near mute Judge came on during a court scene wearing a Lily Savage wig and Father Christmas coat ......my heart wasn't quite in it from the get go
If it was a professional performance, the quality of the piece would have pleased me- I'm not very tolerant of bad anything at the moment.
I've just been short with the vet's clerk on the phone for not sorting Mary's claim forms out and at the Christmas Market the other day, a well intentioned lady who demanded a hug and my presence at her Christmas Day dining table after she just heard that I am now living alone nearly got a sharp leave me the fuck alone sort of comment.
Of course I smiled and thanked her and moved on.
Smile and glide....smile and glide.
I'm up and down like a pair of whore's knickers.
I've decided to have Christmas on my own this Christmas and I suspect suddenly single people may understand this much more than any concerned observer who just want to support could do. I have Bluebell so will pop down with gifts for my family in the evening, and Bluebell will allow me to take control of what I do and when I do it.
Christmas morning the dogs and I will go to Colwyn Bay Promenade with coffee and cocktail sausages .
I don't want people to "pop in"
Having people feeling sorry for me is almost a painful thing at the moment and I feel a bit shamed by it all.
I also know that I'm not much company at the moment and I'm irritated at my own petulance
Smile and glide John ...and shut the fuck up