Change Only What You Can Change

Sharing a car with a soon to be ex husband is difficult,
Like many things that have happened to me recently I feel that I am in a position devoid of any control, in the country, without access to a car, you are effective marooned at times, and reliant on the kindness of friends and family....so it's a big official thank you to my sisters, sister in law, neighbours and Jason the affable Despot

Recently it's felt a little like life is happening to me rather than with me.

It's always the case that you can see solutions in other people's problems and life issues whilst being totally incapable to sorting your own out, and so when reflecting and exploring a life change with a caller at Samaritans the other day I experienced a bit of an arhhh Ha !  moment .
Change only what you can change I suggested
It's not fucking rocket science is it?

I bought a car of my own yesterday.
It's not flash, it's not sexy.....but it is clean and economical and it's bleeding mine
It has five doors and a roomy back seat just built for dogs and tomorrow Winnie will travel in it for the first time , a trip a for a check up at the vets, a check up which will hopefully concur that she is indeed recovering from her " do" of the other night.
She's brighter again this morning and to prove the point has just sucked all of meat off an Aldi lamb shank.
She's the only dog in existence who could probably be resuscitated after a full cardiac arrest by wafting a garlic sausage under her nose.

My old girl is back!

British Bulldogs are built of strong stuff

118 comments:

  1. Great news on both counts. You must be so relieved. X

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  2. Anonymous12:55 pm

    Wahooo! Things are definitely looking up. So happy for you. And absolutely thrilled for Winnie.

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  3. Barbara Anne1:00 pm

    Congratulations on getting your own set of wheels!! Varroom, varroom!

    How wonderful that Winnie continues to perk up and I hope the vet concurs. Love the thought she could be brought back from the brink by a whiff of garlic sausage. Imagine urgent care refrigerators stuffed with garlic sausages if that worked for people!

    Hugs!

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  4. So happy you have your own car now. I hope Winnie continues her recovery with steady improvement. Hopefully by the end of the year you will have it all 'sussed out'. x

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  5. What a fabulous photo, she's gorgeous. Enjoy your car/pet carrier! hehe x

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  6. Now then . . .
    Winnie News is a “great best!”
    AND a car of your own . . .
    Perfectly wonderful!

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  7. Great news! May Winnie's recovery continue.

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  8. I am glad to hear about Winnie and the car. How wonderful that you had friends to drive you, but even it is better to be independent.

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  9. So true John, that's something I have had to learn in my old age. Change what you can and keep moving. Its very difficult at times buts its the best any of us can do. So happy to hear Winnie is improving. Give her plenty of kisses and more sausages please. You needed a car of your own. You have too many four legged beasties to care for to be without one.

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  10. Anonymous1:40 pm

    So good to see you pulling yourself up by your own boot(bra!)straps and adopting a more positive attitude.
    John you are a strong and resourceful wonderful person. Choose to swim and not sink - after all Winnie is blazing a trail for you. Hugs,

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  11. So glad to hear Winnie is still going strong. was dreading bad news. So happy you got a car. now you can start making plans for yourself and you can get out and about when it is tricky at home.

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  12. News (re Winnie) that's cheered so many of us up, JayGee. While sincerely hoping that jubilation is not premature, my shoulders can revert to their habitual non-drooping position now.

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  13. Just all kinds of goods news in this post - woo hoo! Winnie's only on her third life - I'm sure she has several more to go :)

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  14. Your right about solutions to your own problems. When I have clients come in freaking out about, say, a phone bill, I think maybe they're unstable. And then I get a water bill that is obviously wrong and suddenly, even though I'm sort of a professional problem solver, I can't think clearly enough to resolve it.

    Glad to hear about Winnie. I've been looking forward to the updates!

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    1. Yes I just needed to be a bit more self aware xx

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  15. So glad that gorgeous Winnie is improving and hopeful on the mend to a full recovery. Good luck at the vets tomorrow and enjoy your new transport.

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  16. Anonymous2:13 pm

    Good news, lovely pic and self reliance re your own wheels.
    Love Tess x

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  17. That's good Winnie seems on the mend and you have wheels of your own. Good advice too. All the best,John.

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  18. Anonymous2:14 pm

    Yay for the new car big enough for all, but more importantly, for Winnie, she's such a good girl. Love the picture of her. Donna@gather

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  19. Congrats on the car! That will make life a LOT easier, I'm sure. And I'm glad to hear Winnie is still apparently on the mend! She looks happy and confident in that photo.

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  20. Baby steps! You are going in the right direction,,,,so is Winnie!

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  21. Anonymous2:34 pm

    You are gaining control of your life one step at a time - good on you!
    KJ

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  22. Good news about Winnie and the car. As caterers we both have a van (for last 20 years) but have recently decided to buy a car as with a van you can only have one passenger and we want to be able to take our grandchildren out. It will make such a difference.

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  23. Slow but sure, its all coming together for you and Winnie. x

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  24. A step (or car ride) in the right direction!

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  25. Well done both of you.

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  26. Oh I wanted good news today and here it is ! Hurray for Winnie. Kisses to Winnie :) Big sloppy doggy kisses are good for what ails you ..

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  27. A good news day ... yay 😁

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  28. good for you ( and Winnie too). a big step down the road.

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  29. Great news about buying a car, a good step forward.
    Winnie, like the energizer bunny, just keeps going. Strong stuff indeed.
    Lots of rays of sunshine in your life. Try to enjoy.

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  30. Congrats on the car!!

    This line: "She's the only dog in existence who could probably be resuscitated after a full cardiac arrest by wafting a garlic sausage under her nose."
    Made me laugh out loud. You have a real gift with words John.

    Cheers!
    MissFifi

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  31. Oh my, I am so happy, both about Winnie's recovering and about your now having that car.There was a period of time when I was without my own car. Getting one restored the independence and autonomy I needed to turn my life around. My serenity and happiness soon soared to levels I had not thought possible during the time I'd been dependent on someone else too often. I really expect it will also be that way with you, John.

    You have coped with everything amazingly well while you have needed to share a car, and accept rides from all those that care for you. Obviously, both you and Winnie are built of strong stuff! -Mary

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  32. Hooray for both pieces of good news!!

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  33. Glad to read the good news for your girl, and I know what you mean about the car! ... I hope there will be many happy and safe miles in it, with Winnie along too!!

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  34. YAYZ for Winnie! YAYZ for a new car!

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  35. Nothing like your own set of wheels and being independent. Good news about Winnie. Toot toot!

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  36. Well done Mr Gray ! ( and Winnie ) x

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  37. Great news all around.
    I am so happy !

    cheers, parsnip and badger

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  38. Change what you can. You just gave me a light bulb moment. x

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  39. Bless her, she looks like she doesn't have a care in the world. We will obviously need a pic of her testing the new transport tomorrow. It's always a good feeling to be independant John and vital where you live. Onwards and upwards that man.........

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  40. Can we now have a picture of her in the back seat of the new car? What a wonderful solution.

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  41. Great news about the car and Winnie. Hang in there, these troubles will pass.

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  42. Great news about Winnie and the new wheels, another step forward in regaining control of your life. Alison from Shropshire.

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  43. I'm glad Winnie is there to help christen your new vehicle!

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  44. Morag4:29 pm

    Great news re the wheels and Winnie, John. Laughed out loud about the garlic sausage resuscitation! Enjoy your vehicular freedom xxx

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  45. The tears of relief are dripping off my nose. Glad you have your own wheels/independence and that you had helpful friends, neighbours and relatives to this point. Your advice is sound, and I hope this is the beginning of things looking up all around.

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    1. I should clarify the tears are for Winnie :)

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  46. Good news for both of you!

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  47. Aww, that a girl sweet Winnie! 😉 John, I’m glad you have a car 🚙 all your own. It’s nice to be able to run to the grocery store or for a drive. It’s just nice! I’m happy for you! Gabs

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  48. Great news about Winnie John and congratulations on your new wheels. It's one step at a time isn't it - like how they say you eat an elephant. You'll get there.

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  49. Thank you for the update, so pleased that Winnie is enjoying the attention. The car is an added bonus, independence is undervalued.

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  50. So happy about Winnie and the car! The car will make a huge difference for you!

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  51. She’s a beauty xx

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  52. Winnie is beautiful and loved by us all through you, her devoted human dad! And the news of your own car is excellent! Wishing you many thousands of carefree miles and newly gained independence!

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  53. Well done both of you. Hope Winnie carries on recovering well. Bev

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  54. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  55. Awesome news about Winnie and your own car will give you a sense of freedom, wishing you a happy journey ahead John.

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  56. Good news about Winnie.....happy to hear that every day has been better. And happy to hear you have your own vehicle...independence feels good. I love the line about 'change only what you can change' hard to remember sometimes. These days are difficult ....hopefully they get better soon, think of you always...hugs ♥️����. Mardy

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Those question marks were suppose to be a Canadian flag....not sure why that happened.

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  57. Great news on both fronts!

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  58. Good choice on getting your own car. I've lived in the country and it's very isolating to be stuck without transportation.
    LOVE the picture of Winnie! What a trooper!

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  59. Debi.5:48 pm

    Love it!,That made me laugh when you said that the Lovely Winnie could be brought back to life by wafting a sausage under her nose!!I am so happy that you have now got your own car...It will make life so much easier.I wish that I was a clever bugger on a lap top,cause I would have that photo of Winnie enlarged and put on my wall.She is a beauty!

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  60. Winnie deserves the front passenger seat for the inaugural drive to the vets! You should name your car Winston, (male version of Winnie), Churchill had a stroke too....that didn't stop him either!
    So happy for you and the fur babies xxx

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    1. No only Mary in front seat.. Winnie and the boys in the back

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  61. After this post, all I want to know is what colour is your new car and has it got a name? If it is Japanese, it needs a Japanese name - perhaps Fukumi.

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    1. I think that is an ideal idea for a frivolous post
      Funny name for my car

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  62. Having a car really is no longer a luxury it is a necessity, especially in rural areas. So glad Winnie is recovering so well, it took weeks with my Bess. She looks really good. Take care xxxx

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  63. Hooray for Winnie's recovery!!!

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  64. Positive news all around

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  65. What good news. It is wonderful to have your own set of reliable wheels and Bless that Gorgeous girl, Winnie.She really is magnificent!

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  66. One small step for mankind.....and great news about Winnie.xx

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  67. Having your own wheels must feel good. Glad your pooch is feeeling tip-top.

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  68. I am smiling ear to ear! So happy that Winnie's on the mend and enjoying her meaty treats. Great news on your car too - such an essential thing when you live rurally.

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  69. Warm hugs to Winnie, new car and You !!!!

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  70. I'm rooting for you every time I read another post. You'll get there in the end John. And I'm so pleased the Winnie is on the mend.
    Briony
    x

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  71. Moaning Mavis8:17 pm

    Fantastic! Thank you for a tear free day.

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  72. YAY Winnie!
    YAY John! ENjoy your 'new' to you wheels!!

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  73. Your own car will make all the difference!

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  74. Beautiful Winnie ❤️ Congrats on the car - freedom to jump in the car and just go is the best!

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  75. Yeah Winnie! That's a good girl!
    I just got off a plane and there was a bulldog as a therapy dog in the airport. It took everything in me not to run over and snuggle her. Ruth in Oxnard CA USA

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  76. Good, I'm glad you bought a car!!

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  77. That is great news about your car! And, I am pulling for Winnie!

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  78. Winnie, he loves you! Make sure you get to ride shotgun!

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  79. We all love your Winnie, and your other doggies. She definitely looks like the dog who just ate the lamb shank in that photo. ;)

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  80. She looks tip-top in your pic! It will be good to have a car just for you and the dogs. Do they fight over sitting up front with Dad?

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    1. No...Mary gets priority ....winnie just comes over twice a night ( when well) for a kiss.. the boys just cuddle up as and when

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  81. Fantastic picture of Winnie, so very very glad she is getting better. And great news about the car, unshared wheels, well, except for the fur babies.

    Jo in Auckland

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  82. Glad you got a car! I hope to see pictures! Glad Winnie is doing better.

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  83. Anonymous11:49 pm

    Our new pup George the French bulldog is a huge lover of food, any food including but not limited to strawberries, bananas, meat of any type and age, all veggies, he has a special love of our blue healer Bindis food that she use to leave and eat over the day depending on how she felt but now eats in 5 minuets. I’ve even seen him have a go at our rabbit Sugars food or poop, he sits on a chair at our table like one of our grandchildren waiting for a plate just like the kids and looks totally pissed off when he gets told to hop down. He’s the most adorable part of our family and we’d do anything for him, if he was not well like your Winnie any of our little loves really I don’t know what we’d all do, thinking of your beautiful girl. Jo

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  84. This made my heart happy...for both of you.

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  85. That's the face face of a dog if I have ever seen.

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  86. Oh yes, you must have a car in the country!! Good decision! That dog of yours is just the best. That picture of her is priceless! You wouldn't know a thing had happened. Very happy for you! -Jenn

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  87. Love.

    That is all.

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  88. Winnie is returning - as are you.
    I am so very happy on both counts.

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  89. I'm so relieved....well done winnie..there's still a twinkle in the old girls eyes xx

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  90. Good for you and Winnie!!! I expect that someone has already said this, but there are so many comments I haven't read them, but YOUR car needs a name John!!

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  91. So pleased to hear that Winnie is on the up and up!! You keep improving Winnie.

    And good for you buying a vehicle, you have your autonomy and independence back even if the good people in your life came to the fore - its good to be free to come and go at will. Hope the Vet visit goes well.

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  92. "She's the only dog in existence who could probably be resuscitated after a full cardiac arrest by wafting a garlic sausage under her nose." Too funny.

    I'm glad you have your own vehicle now. I tried sharing a house with my ex-husband as we were in the process of separating, didn't go well.

    Take care.

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  93. Well done, John! Both you and Winnie are coming back!!!!

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  94. Chin up Winnie !

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  95. I'm so happy to hear she is improving, John. Sending her and you a hug. Deb

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  96. I’m so happy and relieved that Winnie is recovering xx

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  97. Dear Winnie - and dear John - hugs to you both. xx

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