Monday, 30 April 2018

A Moment Of High Drama



Have you ever witnessed a moment of high drama?
Something that lingers long in your mind.
Something that touches your soul.
I was flicking through YouTube yesterday and stopped briefly at a moment on the Netflix production of The Queen. 
It was a clip where the new and grieving Queen Elizabeth (Claire Foy)meets her grandmother The Queen Mary (Eileen Atkins) for the very first time since the death of George VI
It's a wonderfully dramatic moment where the old Queen curtseys to the new.
It's a scene that gives you goose pimples.

The video reminded me of a nursing moment, years ago when I witnessed an estranged daughter entered the side room of her dying father.
The daughter had not seen her father for I think forty years and had been asked to come to her father's bedside by other family members. I knew nothing of the fall out but I remember that the air was almost electric as the daughter walked into the room and the other family members all stood as she did so.
The daughter looked at her father and knelt at the side of the bed like a child saying her prayers and as she lowered her head to cry her father rested his hand onto the top of her head in a gesture of forgiveness.
Nothing was said, but everyone seemed to be weeping
And I remember exiting the room like a ghost with my eyes to the floor




60 comments:

  1. How very bitter sweet! All that wasted time!

    I saw that scene on Netflix, it was fabulous. The whole series is amazing actually

    ReplyDelete
  2. Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It is so sad and so tragic when family rifts occur that fester for many years afterwards. Better to take off one's mantle of pride and start again.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Eileen Atkins went to my school !!
    You have some wonderful stories to tell John.
    Slightly ‘ off piste ‘ ..... we are watching ‘ The Woman in White ‘ at the moment which is good. XXXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jacqueline - I shared the same drama teacher as Eileen.

      Delete
    2. Small world Andi ..... are we from the same area ? XXXX

      Delete
    3. This would have been in North London.

      Delete
    4. Yep ..... that’s me ..... what school did you go to ? XXXX

      Delete
    5. I went to school in Edmonton but I went to drama lessons in Tottenham. The teacher's name was Ivy Calvert.

      Delete
    6. I went to Latymer Andi. XXXX

      Delete
    7. Oh, you were one of the brainy kids!!!!!1

      Delete
  4. My brother is in danger of cutting himself off from his family. He won't join in with any family gatherings. His latest excuse is he doesn't like using other people's cutlery. Doesn't seem to stop him using other people's glasses down the pub.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sibling spats and fall outs between parents and children ....so common so sad

      Delete
  5. There are times when separation is needed, but in the end, time can never be regained.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I will finally forgive my cousin 'M' when she pays me back the £3000 I loaned her towards a house deposit!
    She spent it on weekends away (with several different men) and lives in a council house, so it was never used for the intended purpose,
    I've learned my lesson though, 'neither a borrower nor a lender be'! X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Take her to judge rinder

      Delete
  7. well, that made me cry this morning, thanks John !

    ReplyDelete
  8. I do remember that moment from "The Crown." Very powerful! I'm not sure I've experienced anything like that in real life.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I was at a village fete when suddenly two horses pulling a cart panicked and took off careering through the crowds. Fortunately they managed to avoid all the market stalls, crowds of families with children, oncoming vehicles etc.. Maybe not 'high' drama, but high enough fir me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds very wild west

      Delete
  10. Intense Drama, yes and it was enough to change me forever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Share it with the group

      Delete
  11. That series is so well done. That scene was amazing.

    I can share a similar moment in the ICU. I was training as an Oncology Massage Therapist and a colleague and I were waiting to get into the room of our next patient. We were gowned and gloved when from behind us we heard a loud voice, filled with anguish. "Mama!" We turned to see a young black woman, perhaps her sister and/or brother by her side, their arms around her as the woman began to bend down towards the bed crying, "Mama! I'm sorry mama!"
    I felt like an intruder watching this private scene unfold, but what was amazing to me was how all the ICU nurses and doctors went about their business as they had to. We did as well, but I will never forget her voice or the pain in her expression. Some people stick with you for life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. On reflection I think I must have seen quite a few of these heartbreaking moments

      Delete
  12. Beautifully written, John.

    ReplyDelete
  13. A touching moment. So good they had that reconciliation at the last.

    ReplyDelete
  14. In your work capacity in high intensity, near death situations you were privy to these moments. In the everyday course of my life I have not been so privy to such things. I had moments of clients crying and hugging me in moments of drama in my office but I do not think they exactly compare although I did receive great appreciation for my honesty in giving investment advice which occasionally involved telling clients to keep their money away from the stockmarket because they were temperamentally not suited to investment when others had advised investment when clearly it was wrong for the individual.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess although not normal, they were frequent enough not to overwhelm

      Delete
    2. Yes, they usually left me with a warm glow that I had made somebody happy. One in particular stands out and I often wonder about the person concerned and how she is getting on.

      Delete
  15. While I've had my share of dramatic moments, nothing quite like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll accept little dramas

      Delete
  16. Family drama, yes... My father made sure that that couldn't happen for us. I heard of his death only after he was buried, as per his request... But I was present at the end of my stepfather's life and held him and my mother in his bed just after his last breath.We cried and cried together with the one son of his that was also there. The sons all gathered together to make the coffin. His burial was a home affair where the drama ran over everything like fresh lava- thick and hot and unavoidable. His family was huge and very religious and refused to acknowledge the name he and my mom chose as their married name, so that his grave marker- a very handsome wrought iron affair made by a brother- had the wrong name on it...

    ReplyDelete
  17. My cousin Peter was dying of cancer, it could have been Aids. We were never told as my aunt didn’t even know he was homosexual so I rather suspect he kept the diagnosis from her, is that possible John?

    As a small family; just my father and me, his sister Marjorie and Peter, I was Pete’s only confidant.

    One morning in York I felt a very strong need to jump in the car and drive down to see them in Deal. As I walked into his bedroom, I could see that I was arriving at exactly the right time. I suggested Marjorie phone for the doctor. Peter was more concerned that the doctor would have been disapproving of him having had a cigarette. I said not to worry! The doctor arrived and explained to Peter that he would give him an injection and he probably wouldn’t remember much after this? I suggested Marjorie go and sit beside him, as the doctor was preparing the injection Peter quietly and serenely died. I had got there at exactly the right time for both of them. What made me think that morning to go? I will never know.

    The doctor glared at me as he wrote out the death certificate on seeing the remains of Peter’s last ciggie. He obviously thought it was mine, as a life long non smoker it did amuse me. So my coz was right in one, that the doctor would be disapproving.

    LX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank goodness you were his advocate x

      Delete
  18. Replies
    1. That's exactly what I thought of this blogpost Karqa. Are you perchance Karqa the Otter?

      Delete
    2. Mr pudding. You are a card!

      Delete
    3. So much spam recently

      Delete
  19. Oh John, I think about my daughter who hasn’t had a conversation with me in 13 years. As I think of my death .. yea a little morbid. 💀 If she will allow me to say I love you Peggy Mary Ann before I pass? I pray so! Gabs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How sad...I hope you reunite well before you take your last breath

      Delete
  20. I am not much good with weepies John - they hang about in my mind far too long.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Good grief, you made me cry again!!!
    I have had quite a few moments of high drama. I tend to completely detach from emotion when lots of these moments come around, but all the dramatic moments involving medical emergencies of loved ones seem to stand out the most.

    ReplyDelete
  22. My father and I were at war when he/we discovered he was dying. We put our battles to one side. My brothers don't get along. I am the glue which holds the family together at the moment. And hope to continue.

    ReplyDelete
  23. You bring tears to my eyes with this story. Situations such as these are so difficult for all concerned. One of my brothers separated himself from all the family for many years and much sadness. At least we were able to get together before he died from cancer. Now our family lives with another such break between my two sons. I see them both and love them dearly but they will not see one another at all. Despite seeing me go through that with my brother they do not seem to understand enough to make up with one another. It is stubborness and a lack of forgiveness. Not a day goes by that I don't pray for our whole family to come together again.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Like another said ... you write so well. Very moving.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Gabs .. call or write to her and tell her you love her.
    She can't force you not to. She might be struggling with finding a way to let go of this ridiculous grudge for all the years .. Good good luck to you .. I hope you do call her and tell her and it helps ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, just a note will do to restore the connection. Don’t expect an answer. Just send another one randomly in a few months.
      I just had one from my mother after almost two years so I’m dancing. Don’t know what to say but possibly a postcard will be sent from some trip. Good luck...

      Delete
  26. John, this was written so beautifully. You captured that moment in all it's intensity. Tears for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  27. A moment like that for me today . . .
    Walking into a room . . .
    Witnessed the tender caress given toward a dying loved one . .
    Sacred . . .

    ReplyDelete
  28. Emotional separation is every bit as cutting as physical cleaving of relationships. So sad.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Lovely, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  30. As today, you always seem to have just the post to make us start thinking. That was a beautiful moment you related. Your words took me right into that room with you, and right into my beloved step-father's hospital room in 1985. He was unable to speak, but his eyes lite up as he looked at the empty doorway and a huge grin spread across his face. He shifted his eyes to my mother next to him, and he frowned seemingly because she wasn't greeting someone. Back he looked to the door, grinning ear to ear. The doctor and staff rushed in and asked the room be cleared. Soon the doctor appeared in the waiting room saying, "I'm sorry, John is gone." Still to this day we play a guessing game...who came to accompany him home?

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x