Monday, 19 February 2018

Insults


I, like everyone else has been insulted many times during a lifetime that has lasted ( so far) some 55 years.
Insults at school , in childhood are often incredibly painful and barbed
They can often set you up for a lifetime of self doubt.
I've been insulted within relationships, within family, friendships and by strangers
I've been insulted in the street, in the pub and on the road!
As a nurse I have been insulted at work ....many many MANY times.

Other insults can be incredibly funny, even though you may be the brunt of them
I remembered one such one yesterday
Years ago, I was called to an incident where a manic depressive patient ( now referred to as bipolar disorder) had stripped a billiard table of snooker balls and had lobbed them through the windows of the psychiatric Ward above the one I was working.
I ran onto the ward, breathless and worried only to see the female patient ( who was incredibly manic) being " cornered" by two female members of staff as she threw a chair at them
The patient  looked at me and laughed. She was in her seventies had a cut glass accent and resembled  Helen Hayes
" The cavalry has arrived! " she bellowed "one fat ugly gay cunt in crappy trousers!......" 
I tried to diffuse the situation by feigning chagrin
" what's wrong with my trousers?" I asked the patient as the female nurses moved in
"You're wearing them lard arse " the patient yelled
And as I dived in to help the ward nurses she kneed me in the bollocks
" Go down fat boy!" Was all I heard as she was led away
I was half laughing to myself moments after my head had hit the floor
But then laughing at yourself was a defence mechanism

It it still is!

Can you remember your worst insult?

164 comments:

  1. This entry was sparked by someone who called me a Welsh arsehole today!

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    1. Bi polar patients when manic can be incredibly caustic btw

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  2. Ummm. Well. I can remember some horrible insults and I will not be sharing them here. But here's one that was funny- I was eating after-bar-hours breakfast with a fellow that I'd just met. This was years and years ago and we both knew that no one was going home with anyone but we were still enjoying each other's company. A woman walked by our table whose head was almost shaved, but not quite. Very, very short hair.
    "I think I'd like to cut my hair off like that," I said. At the time, I had hair way down to below my waist.
    "Nah," the guy said. "You don't have the face for it."
    I laughed and laughed. He was right! I still think of that. And smile.

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    1. Good for you my friend x

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  3. During typing class in highschool, a girl that I had gone to elementary and then highschool with, typed out a variety of insults about some girls, me being one of them. The paper was found stuck in a desk. The insult about me was that I was "a tall, skinny bitch"... I was so happy, as one who was quite chunky as a kid, to be called tall and skinny!! I didn't even worry about the bitch part. -Jenn

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    1. She sounded rather troubled. Was she bullied?

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    2. No, not at all. Just a nasty human being.

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  4. I remember some fat girl in high school called me a professional pickle kisser. I had no problems except for her. It was common knowledge I was out in high school. My rebuttal to her was, Well chubs, anything worth doing, is worth doing well.

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    1. Pickle kisser?
      I've never heard that phrase before.
      I adore it

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  5. Wasn't so much what was said but an action...I have never forgotten being followed out to my car by a male Herbalife 'agent' for want of a better word, from inside a supermarket, where he launched into a spiel about how he could help me.
    Having battled weight since a kid it was a low blow and knocked my confidence at the time terribly.
    Nowadays I'd say 'Stuff 'em... & piddle off'

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    1. Herbalife has a weight management program... I was assuming it is known in other countries.. sorry!

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    2. It is known all over the place!

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    3. 'Piddle off' is now my new phrase... It sounds so much nicer than the usual version.

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    4. Thank you for the explaination ....I prefer the words PISS OFF! it sounds angrier

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    5. I like 'Go piss up a rope!'

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    6. I usually say something that just comes to mind right away and I am working on my Old Difficult Woman persona
      “F🖕🏻 Off

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  6. I had gotten into a disagreemnet with a punter (I know, bad call) and he was already three sheets to the wind. I forget what I called him, but, in response, he called me 'old'. I was 33.

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    1. Punter? Where you a hooker bea?

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  7. I think the worst things said to me weren't really insults as such, but criticisms tossed off lightly by my mother. One time, a few years before she died in 2012, I was over at her house just after I'd been to my yoga class. "Oh, you look very svelte!", she said brightly. Then she followed it up with, "Too bad you can't do something about your stomach." Oof...

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    1. mothers seem to specialise in this crap

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    2. Ah the critical mother story!
      I could write a book!

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  8. I laughed way too hard at this, John! I'm still chuckling as I type. "Go down, fat boy!" slays me! 😂

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    1. And the worst thing about it Jennifer was test this was 1988 and I wasn't even fat! I had a 32 inch waist

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    2. Oh, it never occurred to me that you were actually fat! It's obvious that the patient was just crazy and looking it be mean. The way you told the story was really funny! Hope that my laughing didn't hurt your feelings.

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    3. Of course not! Lol

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  9. Goodness John, you really got me thinking! I don't recall any insults at all, but if anyone even thought about it they would probably have received a smack in the mouth; I was always a big strong lad!

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    1. That's why you weren't insulted . Insults told to be told to the weak! I was a shy youngster!
      Bet Chloe has shit a few insults over your bows recently

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  10. Most from my dad:[said to a man he was introducing me to] "She's not crippled, she just is clumsy and wears stupid shoes." //When we announced I was expecting first child: "This is a big mistake, you'll be a terrible mother. And what about your career?"// Or,"You're such a bitch, no one will ever marry you.";// OR ''Your brother got all the brains."

    OR My mean ex-SIl, walks up to me and my now ex Husband and says to him, ''OH congratulations, when is the baby due?" "What, no baby!", he snapped a. SIL makes the universal hand curved over stomach motion and shrugs, "Sure looks like she's [me] pregnant!" Ex was furious w/ *me* for being FAT, and may I add I am 5'9'' and weighed maybe 115 pounds then due to a serious illness. SIL was just causing trouble.

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    1. Oh dear... how awful for you Liz D - they are not nice memories to have of your dad who would appear to have put both feet in his gob! My Mum was very critical too, but I have forgotten the vocal hurts and can never remember the content of arguments after the fact, I think it was a habit I acquired to ignore the barbs.
      SIL ... nasty and obviously jealous

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    2. Good lord - I hope you pat yourself on the back EVERY SINGLE DAY for having the strength to escape those losers!
      Brava!

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    3. Yes see my reply above critical parents are the worst!

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    4. you should have poked her in the eye

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    5. Oh Liz that breaks my heart .
      Parents are so clueless about words and how much pain they can cause.
      I will always remember being all dressed up to go to my first dance with a date in a pretty dress and the woman who was friendly with my parents, said in a voice that carried for miles...
      “She would be pretty if it weren’t for her teeth “

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  11. Some guy I was taking action against on behalf of a client once wrote something incredibly rude about me, apparently, on the men's bathroom wall in our office building. My male colleagues would never tell me what it said (so it must have been pretty bad) and of course, I couldn't go in and see it for myself. Ha ha, you know you're doing your job right when something like that happens!

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    1. Slander! Soanderwhen it's written ...or is that libel

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    2. "Libel" when it's written; "slander" when it's spoken. But in Canada, it's all just called "defamation" now. We no longer draw the distinction that Brits do.

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    3. And only if isn’t true, right?

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  12. A fellow I'd been going out with for quite awhile was being too friendly with another girl for my liking. When I called him on it, he said, "Don't worry; I know she's way above my level!" Gah. He was an ex-boyfriend very soon after that, and he couldn't even figure out why.

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  13. "You run like a duck." I was deeply hurt.

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    1. At least you didn't sound like one

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  14. I guess laughing at yourself was the only sensible thing to do. If you took all the insults seriously and got upset every time, you wouldn't have lasted very long.

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    1. I've been called worse nick !
      A nurse iworkedwith once called me a scum sucking prig

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  15. Oh John you really made me laugh.

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  16. Mine was double edged, I was walking through our local town and two teenage lads were loitering. One of them sneered at me and said "Look at the state of that" the other one said " Yeah, nice tits though!".

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    1. I don't call that an insult. "Cor,look at the state her; nice tits though". I would have laughed with them.

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    2. It was a cross between a sob and a giggle x

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    3. Yes, John, I know I am only supposed to speak to you on your blog. Have a heart. Your readers deserve my attention too.

      Rachel, I know you like to give the impression of being as tough as boots - and, for all I know, you are. However, I don't believe that you would have "laughed with them". It's no laughing matter to have nice tits. Considering that they could have been your sons I think feigning deafness would have been more effective than encouraging them to direct their observations at the next cougar walking past.

      U

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    4. It was insulting that a girl could not walk down the street without some punks remarking on her breasts. She deserves more respect than that and no woman I know would appreciate it and not think it was insulting. Maybe not the actual statement but we aren't walking down the street for the benefit of some punk and his opinions.

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    6. Hear, hear, Notes.

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    7. It could be worse if they told me I had nice tits

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    8. But do you Have nice tits John? hehe x

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  17. Oh, so many of those awful childhood ones. But my father's insults were, and still are to my memory, the most painful. Nothing like your story that I could laugh it (Sorry, was I not supposed to laugh?)... My father called my sister and me (among many not-so-loving names) "shit for brains". I still sometimes call myself that! I'd rather be called a lard ass by Helen Hayes.

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    1. Sorry that happened to you :(

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    2. Yes, this sort of post, although on the surface is very funny does underline the cruelty of the insult, especially if the insults are offered in a sustained and barbed way.
      I wonder just how many parents in retrospect, realise how cruel and destructive they have been?

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    3. My father died at the age of 60; my sister had died 6 years earlier. He was a good man and I know that by then he had so many heart-breaking regrets. Unfortunately, it's so difficult even after all these years to undo the damage done over more than 30 years. I forgive him and love him and wish I could once and for all get that "voice" out of my head.

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  18. I had a similar cause to laugh last week. The publicity shot for our latest show featuring me in black underwear and Hans in effeminate circus wear sitting interlocked was not allowed to go in the local paper whee the show was being done. Apparently it's fine to show a beauty queen in a tin bikini on the front page but not a fat 53 year old lady in black lace undies. Here's a link to it if you want to be scandalised! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10155363358433105&set=a.10151965432208105.1073741826.736638104&type=3&theater

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    1. I adore your top hat

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    2. Thank you! I bought it in Glastonbury. I have a 7 5/8 head and couldn't believe that they had a hat that fitted it!

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  19. Once was walking through a park after work with three or four work colleagues on our way to a periodic pub meet-up. Passing some tennis courts, a ball flew over the 12-foot fence and landed near me. I picked it up and threw it back. The others all in unison collapsed in hysterics at my throw - "Girlie!" - one mimicking it. Their reaction flattened me not just for the rest of the day but for several days after.
    This was a few years before I'd 'come out'. If I had been 'out' I don't think it would have hurt as much as it did - and we all, including me, could have laughed it off anyway.

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    1. I know the pain of this insult raymondo. It stings

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    2. A little stab that leaves a lifelong scar, JayGee.

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  20. Like yourself I spent many years working/sweating for the NHS. I have laughed so many times at what patients have said, one head injury patient stated when I was in a very small bathroom with him that how could he expect to be able to wash himself with my fat arse sharing the space. Getting into a lift another patient exclaimed that I was also getting in with those thighs! At the time I weighed about ten stone hardly Bessie Bunter. Some of the patients sent barbed messages as a way of getting to you while with others it was just something to say. I always ignored the jibes and laughed afterwards. Like you say, defence mechanism, but I have remembered them. Love Andie xxx

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    1. I once challenged a visitor who I caught lying on a patient's bed. She called me an "'ugly fat nazi "

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  21. Just remembered my mum used to say that I ran with my feet splayed like ready money! not sure about that one. The one I like the best is, " If you can't be beautiful then you must be useful" that one really set me up for the NHS. Love Andie xxx

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    1. Uhg - it's a miracle some of us survived childhood...

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  22. I told a normally mild-mannered person that he had missed the last performance of an event I organised - by three minutes - and asked (somewhat sarcastically) what sort of time schedule he was operating on, and he called me an 'obnoxious tosser'. I still laugh about it now.

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    1. I don't know about "tosser", Tom. "Obnoxious"? Yes. And, in the cold day of light, your heart of hearts, you actually - if somewhat reluctantly - agree, don't you? Scant comfort: I take it almost as a form of flattery to fall outside expected norms.

      Anyway, should the occasion ever arise, I shall be on time. I wouldn't wish to miss you and any of your performances for the world.

      U

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    2. I bet you've been called a lot worse Thomas ! And I best you've laughed at all of them

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  23. My Dad once told me I would never be 'a patch on Cher' and Mum said I wasn't 'pretty enough to be a Boots girl'(when telling her I hoped to get a Saturday job at 15yo). Parents eh?

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    1. Who could live up to Cher! The goddess!

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  24. my parents told me I was stupid and ugly, teachers told me I would never amount to anything. FUCK EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!

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    1. That is horrible. People can be so cruel.

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    2. A parent telling a child she is ugly...unforgivable

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    3. The cruel one stick ... when I was a young teen, I was going to a school dance and got a pretty new dress and had my hair done. The couple who lived nearby were visiting my parents and I came out all shy and excited about going to a dance in my new dress.
      The woman of the couple, said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear .. Too bad about her teeth.
      My front two teeth were crooked. ( now fixed)
      And that is my memory of that first dance and special dress .. not who or what or how fun or not .. just how that woman made me feel.

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    4. I did get a sort of revenge when my mom told me that she often tossed the fact that I was a model into all conversations LOL

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  25. My mother has always been the queen of evil putdowns, now 84 shes not improved any.
    The one that haunted me from my childhood is. "I suppose with your looks an education will have to suffice, no man would ever want to keep you"

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    1. How awful - Have you ever seen the Bette Davis movie Now, Voyager? Thank goodness we grow up and (hopefully) learn to stand up...

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    2. I would have reminded her that looks are inherited

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    3. my mother was a Marilyn Monroe clone, alas im the spit of my father, small dark and dumpy...lol

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  26. I was once described as a manipulative fantasist. I was quite flattered. Made me sound far more interesting that I really am.

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    1. By anyone I know sweetie?

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  27. I was in my twenties with a new husband at my grandmother's funeral. One of her sisters (my great-aunt), said, very loudly on seeing me for the first time in many years, "I see you never lost that puppy fat"! My mother, bless her, retorted with "It seems that you've lost your manners over the years, though". I don't think we ever saw that great-aunt again.

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  28. It sounds like a script for a Buster Keaton movie.

    Why can't I type Windows with a small w anymore?! I just tried 6 times.

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    1. It was in fact quite scary . I hated ( and still do) any physical confrontations on wards

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    2. Gwil... I have autocorrect on my computer and it is always changing spelling, when I know what I am spelling .. like Gwil got spell check totally insane lol

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  29. I was having trouble remembering any, but then I remembered a teacher who called me obstreperous. Which surprises me still, because I always thought I was delightful!....

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    1. To me that just eats challenging

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  30. "Worst insult"? I don't know. Unlike you and most your readers I have never been "insulted" over my appearance. My beautiful self not giving a "handle", as it were.

    Anyway, an insult is what you make of it. I am an expert on this as bloggers tend to be rather tender little plants. More interested in their ego than attending to matter in hand, namely robust exchanges of views. Still, some of them - and I stand in awe - do believe that giving is better than receiving. So thanks. Beware the might of the boomerang.

    I don't know, John. Worst insult. I remember when my father towering (by height) over my nine year old defiant self, my dark brown eyes, according to my mother flashing, meeting his equally dark brown eyes with not a blink. He couldn't come up with anything better than: "You are just like my mother". My grandmother. Considering that she wasn't the most popular, albeit colourful, person I wasn't so much insulted as, I don't know ... something.

    As an aside, it's interesting, and you, John, have done so and directed at me, that when people (not just men) have a deep dislike (make that disappointed expectation) for the mother whose love they craved will resort again and again to what, to them, may indeed be the worst insult: "You remind me of my mother".

    U

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    1. I'll think about that one

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    2. BS
      My husband always said things like that because he thought his mom was a great cook and an admirable person and he knew I would love to be compared to her.

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    3. What BS, Candice? I wasn't talking about adorable mothers - otherwise, being compared to one would hardly constitute an insult, would it?

      U

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  31. I had an unpleasant contretemps with an arrogant cyclist while driving to Abbeydale Road. She called me a "fat wanker" and then I complimented her on her "fashionable" cycling outfit. She looked ridiculous. By the way, regarding her insult, she was wrong on both counts.

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    1. That's abbeydale road for you

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  32. I try not to think about them as they still can hurt. They were never clever; they were just cruel.

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    1. The cruel ones seem to stick don't they?

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  33. I suppress most of them. I was meeting with a VP of a major homebuilder one time to present an offer on a home that was finished and unsold. He was not happy with the offer and told me to get out of his office, he was tired of being told what to do by "faggots and recycled housewives." He left the firm shortly after that to pursue other opportunities.

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    1. Now he needed a bust in the chops

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  34. I've always been so proud of my DIY skills, using what I had at hand to create something I didn't have, but when I decided to make a down jacket for skiing and the lining was not down proof, I took off my coat and had feathers stuck to my ski sweater my friend shouted "Finally found something you CAN'T do! I was very insulted and it was scratchy!

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    1. It's always fun to bring some who is good at everything down a peg xx

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  35. I was at a 'drinks party' (you understand the background scene now) and a hoity-toity was overheard saying about my friend 'she's got lovely blonde hair, I don't know why she dyes the roots black'.

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    1. Anonymous5:12 pm

      Oh I am using this one!

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  36. That was a funny post and as usual I had to think about your question. I may have just been oblivious but no one insult really sticks out.

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    1. Perhaps you are just lucky

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    2. more like thick skinned.

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  37. My husband had a wonderful group of friends, a few of them were gay and performed on Broadway and out on Fire Island NY during the summer season. Some of them had names you would recognise.
    One day we were walking down the street, my husband and I and our friend Richard. Richard was usually cast as the large man in a smoking jacket with a pipe or as a large woman with a skinny little silly husband.
    So we were walking down the street and a man and woman walked towards us and as they were passing, she said to her husband, Look dear, a Fairy.
    And our friend Richard without pausing a step, said in his theatre voice that could be heard for blocks ...

    Madam, IF I were a Fairy, I would pull out my wand and fix your nose.

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    1. Bwahahahahaha!! OMG, that is one of the best things I've ever heard - right up there with Churchill's quip about drinking poison...

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    2. The best retort I wish I was always so quick

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  38. Oh yes, they can be caustic alright! Growing up with a bi-polar mother I will vouch for that. But the good thing is that they don't remember a thing after they 'come down' from the high.

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    1. The manic phase in bi polar is fraught with conflict. Manic patients can be terribly quick witted and invariably will centre upon a weakness or physical tick to pick on when angry.
      I wasn't angry at the patient in the story as she wasn't in control of herself , but the slights hurt especially as they spilled from the mouth of a an OAP

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  39. I was a tall, gangly kid with learning disabilities. The worst result was that no one would walk me home from the bus after school.

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  40. When I lived in Ghana, I used to have steel new arrivals for a very common local gambit - and high form of praise - which is to look one up and down and say in a highly admiring tone of voice, "Oh my - you are looking sooooooo FAT!"

    When it first comes at you unawares, it can quite take the wind out of one's sails!

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  41. Public school (where most of our misery begins) "goody goody two shoes". Nothing could have been further from the truth...and I spend a goodly portion of the rest of my existence trying to prove it false.

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  44. Sorry, can't put the words to it.

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    1. Ausch! This one hurts.
      Dianne, whatever it was, it was only intended to hurt, not to tell the truth.

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    2. Thanks to you both.

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  45. Things are more funny when they happen to other people. Not so funny when they happen to you. I can't remember the worst insult I have got but recall when I was a child and returned home from a party with a particularly flushed face my sister said 'her face is as red a Terry Scott's hat and the whole family fell about laughing. I went even redder and burst out crying!!!

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  46. in kindergarten i was tagged by the teacher as being a little bossy. for the rest of my childhood whenever my brother wanted to shut me up, he'd lob this grenade: "Well, you're bossy!" It took until I was fully grown and had children for me to own the character trait, and to see it as a symptom of a well developed sense of personal agency, which is a good thing. but for decades being called "bossy" felt like an insult to me. This is an example of how girls are disempowered, i think.

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    1. I think it is an example of how many of us male and female can be disempowered as children by the use of the wrong word or a cruel comment

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  47. I would have thought that insults in your work place such as yours from patients, which made me laugh, would not count. It was loony bin. From fellow members of staff would be different. As far as the insults described here I do not rate most of them as insults, all pretty tame stuff.

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    1. perhaps the commentators are keeping things lighter, perhaps not. but even the occasional barb from a patient can hurt if it gets under your skin. most would make us laugh, like I said laughter is a coping mechanism like many others, and nurses often laugh at the blackest of material. I blogged a little while ago about a patient who I was recovering from surgery woke and genuiningly thought I was the fat Jeremy speight from the documentary series AIRPORT
      now that did make me laugh.

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  48. I remember walking down the cobbled street of terraced houses with my mummy as a little girl going to visit my grandma-a big lady sat at an open door at the bottom of the street & said to us "ain't she fat".I was a chubby child -I'm 58 & I never forgot.My mum said it was Mrs Pratt x

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    1. I've also been called ''old hag''by the neighbours-also"bloody hermit''by the delightful lady of the house next door when I dared to complain about them throwing stuff at my windows & dirty stuff in my garden x

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  49. I'll put in a quote from a good mother. Known for always, without fail, seeing the best in her children, in her old age her daughter asked her, "but what if I murdered someone" there was a pause, then, "I'm sure you would have a good reason, dear". Yes, they misbehaved and made mistakes which she acknowledged but she was always in their corner. Sadly, not my mother but one I have tried to emulate.

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    1. I know mothers like yours sadly not my own

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  50. IN my twenties, I used to drink at a pub known for its blue collar clientele. One night, an alcoholic man on a bender started yelling at me, "Hey, you're so f...ing ugly. Why are you so f...ing ugly?" Note, this man was very proud of his Serbian heritage and, when not drunk, was really quite a nice person. After looking around to see who he was talking to and realizing it was me, I responded "Because my parents are Serbian." Silence. Then he said, "Why are you so f...ing beautiful?"

    Memorable because it is one of the only times in my life that I responded to an insult in just the right way instead of thinking of a comeback two days later.

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    1. I love a well pitched one line reply, I wish I was better at them

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  51. I just asked my Husband why I can't remember being insulted. His reply? Nobody is that brave!

    Although there was a time at my Husbands works Christmas do. I met the MD and his 'partner' (Very new partner, left his wife of 30 years for someone young enough to be his granddaughter)

    She said 'Sorry, I can't remember your name' I said 'Don't worry pet, I can't remember yours either'

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  52. The best self-insult was Dolly Parton (in my opinion) who said, laughing on stage, 'you don't know how much it costs to look this cheap!' Fabulous line.

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  53. There have been times when it has been an advantage to be deaf.

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  54. I barely remember any but there was a time when I went to a racecourse and the walk from the parking area to the track was too far for me so I was getting on the courtesy buggy and my husband said to the driver "I can walk but she can't"

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  55. I had very bad acne as a teenager. Whenever my grandma would see me she’d say. “It’s a shame about your face”.😢

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  56. oh and my best friend "Kylie, you're as subtle as a housebrick"

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  57. After my marriage ended, I was invited to dinner by some posh neighbours, (Captain and Mrs. Stay at Home Wife) because they thought ..."I should get used to eating with people again". Obviously
    packed lunches or hospital canteen meals didn't count.

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  58. Another time a more senior hospital colleague, said she wasn't worried about the changes in NHS structure. She continued to say " It was different for me because it was my livelihood !" I presume she had a private income and was only there to see how the other half lived.

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  59. The worst insults I have endured have always been lobbed at me by myself.

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  60. No I can't, but I laugh every time you say, "how very dare you."

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  61. 30 years ago , I was working as a newly qualified staff nurse on a medical ward.
    One evening I was caring for an elderly lady who had said hardly anything since her admission. So I decided to try and chat to her . She appeared to be listening attentively with a fixed smile on her face as I knelt by the side of her chair and asked about her day . She didn’t reply , so I then cheerily told about the beautiful sunshine that morning , how nice the weather was outside and how I had had a lovely breakfast with my husband and my children . The elderly lady didn’t make any comment . So I then said about how I had then got my 2 young daughters and gone out to the local park , there we met with my sister and her children and everyone had a fabulous time in the playground . .....not a flicker from her .....so I blithely carried on saying then we all went home and my husband had cooked us a lovely lunch ...just a lovely day .......after a minutes silence this old lady turned and looked at me and said very slowly and very deliberately ‘ ‘You......smarmy .......bastard .....’. I couldn’t do anything for giggling , still laugh about it now .
    Mind you she was probably right !
    Shelly x

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  62. 3rd year med school, surgical rotation. I asked a question. The attending looked at me and said "Well, sometimes the obvious isn't apparent enough, eh?"

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  63. Anonymous2:17 am

    Question: Is it worse to be insulted, or worse to be so invisible that you do not rate one?

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  64. I was a plump little girl as a child: a horrible family friend thought he was making a funny remark when he told my father that it was quicker to jump over me than to go around me! I'm glad I was too small to understand what he meant by that. He was never welcomed in our home again.
    Greetings Maria x

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  65. Someone with dementia in a home recently told me that I was fat with great big titties. All true! I was doubled up laughing afterwards with the home manager. xx

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  66. Well - there are a bunch, but I just remembered a great one, lol! My oldest sister Dawn is 5 years older than me, but when she was in college and I was about 16, we looked so much alike that when I would go visit her, she actually sent me to sit in on classes for her, haha. So when I was newly married (I was probably around 20 at this time), I was telling my bitchy and tactless MIL about how we did that, and she said she didn't think we looked that similar. And I said, oh yes, people confuse us all the time and at least one person has asked if we are twins. And then she very condescendingly responded, "Oh no, dear - DAWN is BEAUTIFUL"!

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    Replies
    1. Oh there are so many good replies to that and none that you could say!

      Delete
  67. My ex-husband was a nasty piece. I once came back with a perfect response:
    He said to my mother: "The problem with Sharon is God didn't give her any brains."
    I said to my mother: "yes, but God sure gave me a big asshole!"

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