Wednesday, 21 February 2018

Hanging On


Trendy Carol makes a mean beef stew.
The cancelled pancake lunch took place at the Nazareth chapel yesterday and Carol was doing the cooking, so I dug out a couple of plastic food containers and went along.
I was the only person in the village that paid for a take away!
Trendy Carol ( in a fresh springtime outfit and matching shoes) ladled out her stew in the foyer of the chapel which had seen better days and behind her came the low murmur of locals and the click of cutlery on plates.
I was glad that a few people had turned up.
The two village chapels and the church are just about hanging on, but their congregations are somewhat sparse and aging now. With the village shop gone, and apart from the village hall " dos" such as the Flower Show and the pub, they remain to be the only venues where people can meet.
Anyhow, as usual, I am digressing.

This morning I received an email from a fellow blogger. They shared a painful memory sparked by a previous post of mine. The email was matter of fact, and in no way sorry for itself. To me it was what blogging is all about. It was about sharing something.
A private sharing from a public discussion .
Another blogger Rachel shares her honest and sometimes raw thoughts on line and I adore her for it. I try to be open with my thoughts but like most men, I pull my punches when it suits.
Honesty in blogging opens you up for support from the likeminded but it also opens you up to trolls and the unstable.
That's the way of the net.

Now I rambling so I am off to mark out my  'Bosoms'
The vegetable plot resurrection starts today.







66 comments:

  1. Knowing you're a trained Samaritan probably aids people's openness with you and that you don't shy away from revealing your own vulnerabilities. You bring something to blogging that many don't.

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  2. Enjoy the gardening John. I am off out to a lecture on Descartes now. I am not going to ramble about blogging, I say enough about that all the time over at mine cxxx

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    1. And I forgot to say, I enjoy your blog but don't always comment on dogs and doggy things posts xx

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  3. I just woke up, I have my cawfee, and I have to go to work. have fun playing with your "bosoms" (smile).

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  4. Could Trendy Carol be persuaded into doing a takeaway once a month? I love the idea of you trogging along with Tupperware for a food parcel.

    LX

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    1. She's a good baker too.....

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  5. I agree with you about blogging and rapport, John. When it's good it's good; when it's awful it's not so good.

    In the name of reason: Who is to decide what constitutes a "troll", what amounts to "unstable"?

    One definition of troll I have come across recently, and it is a lamentable one, that a troll is someone who merely doesn't tow the blogger's line, who dares open up another vista. In my world, and by definition, a troll has malicious intent. Define "malicious". Who is to say there is "intent". What is one person's tiger is another's pussy cat.

    As to "unstable". You, with your professional experience, will agree to be careful about labelling fellow humans as most laymen have no idea what those (professional) diagnoses REALLY mean. This labelling, so I have noticed, and it is a form of inverse trolling on the blogger's part in response to a reader, is becoming more and more obnoxious. It sure doesn't help communication. It destroys bridges, instead of building them.

    I have encountered a blogger I do believe to be unstable. Very much so. That doesn't mean I don't take that person seriously. So then you tread a fine line. You take their being unreasonable (in its many manifestations) in your stride (sometimes more, sometimes less); on the other hand that doesn't give them Carte Blanche. It has been recommended to me to do so, however, I don't give up on anyone until they bore me. I don't ignore even those I occasionally think beyond contempt in their contempt for others.

    U

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    1. I'm not a professional here Ursula. I am a blogger . Unstable is exactly the right word for some characters who belittle . Insult and argue on a site they are not welcomed to. And I use it with gusto.

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  6. I've rarely had issues with other bloggers and I can't say I have been trolled. Only twice really, and both were such well known people personally to other people, that I could have easily identified them.

    After fourteen years of blogging, I just don't engage if someone says something nasty, and if they do, perhaps I delete their comment. I really can't remember.

    Isn't it alway so nice to receive a personal email from a blogger who you like.

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    1. It will all settle down again

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  7. I don't always say all that I am thinking, I actively avoid some topics on my blog to avoid the rudeness.

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    1. Politics and religion ..oh and gun laws

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  8. I lie continuously. It's the only way I can get through the day.

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    1. Just imagine the shock on peoples faces if you only said the absolute truth ..
      Honey do I look fat in this dress ?

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    2. I heard an interesting discussion on radio the other day where the partners of people that have asperges syndrome described how it is living with someone who tells the truth in such a black and white way....it made for interesting radio

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    3. My dad has aspergers. He cannot understand if I'm upset about anything but if I ask him about anything to do with engineering his face lights up! He loves a slide rule......

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  9. I am in serious awe of Trendy Carol- shoes to match an outfit??? Some days it's a miracle that my shoes match each other! And I now have a lusting for beef stew x

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  10. I've never had a troll. Ever. And sometimes I do indeed spill my guts. I have only ever received the most loving and supportive of comments. And I, too, have gotten e-mails sparked by posts which have torn my heart out and made me feel grateful that someone felt as if I was a safe person to talk to.
    It IS what blogging is about.

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  11. Well I blogged about armpits, you can't get any deeper than that.
    Sadly around here the churches are empty, the people who attend will probably not be here in another ten years. I am often asked to help out because there is no one around, they can't accept the fact that some buildings need to be closed.

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    1. I have been lucky enough in my years of blogging to only pick up an annoying troll a couple of times and thanks to Blogger, and my computer, I am generally able to block them .. pretend they don't exist. But they do follow a person around sometimes.. such is the life of a troll.
      I was told the other day that I lied .. so I gave in and told the person the truth. Which made them cry. Then they apologized for calling me a liar .. It we all told the truth every time, we would hate each other ..Now I have to go read about arm pits. I have 2 !!

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    2. It's strange how these blog comments meander

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    3. My mind meanders, I imagine my comments do too :)

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  12. The Methodist church, where I play cards, is suffering the malady of all save, perhaps, the NRA. It is funded well enough to maintain itself for several generations, but cannot say the same of its population. It makes me sad, but I cannot help.

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  13. Why is your vegetable garden called Bosoms?

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    1. A few years ago one of the the more colourful characters in Trelawnyd was The Red Faced Welsh Farmer . To say he was colourful was somewhat of an understatement. He helped me construct the pig enclosure and helped take the pigs to slaughter....anyway when I was digging out the attotment I told him that I wanted to name it like cro has done over on his French based blog. Cro calls his allotment HADDOCKS so I wanted a name similar. I aske the Red Faced Welsh Farmer to think of a name and asked him to think of his most favourite thing...hence BOSOMS,

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    2. LOL! Wonder if there are any DICKS out there in allotment land. I know...I just couldn't help myself! :)

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    3. Oh yes one big dick clearing the land

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    4. The Bosoms name story is hilarious. Poor pigs tho.

      lizzy

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  14. We have an allotment half a mile from home. We went last weekend to find the shed roof had been blown off!
    We tell people we go "Allotmenteering". It makes us sound adventurous!

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    1. At least all I have to walk is 78 steps ( I've counted them)

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  15. I can not wait to see how Bosoms is coming along. Doing a fluff up on my side yards now but my helper is doing all the hard work.
    Two times I have been ripped apart and left a bloody mess on the floor, was from comments to me on other blogs. Yours and Weavers. Same person each time . Everyone seems to like them but they don't like me ? ? ? I do not even follow them.
    Just the way of the world I guess.
    Can not wait to see a few more photos from the cleanup. Did the fruit trees you planted few years ago make it ?

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Best just keep away from them. I've had bloggers who dislike me for no good reason

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  16. One of the villages where I clean set up a book exchange in a hall which stood empty. It's manned every Wednesday between 10 and 3 by volunteers and people can bring and/or take books and either keep them or return them when they've read them. They hold a soup based lunch once a month and there's always coffee and biscuits available. It's proved a huge success. Arilx

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    1. Now that's a good idea

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    2. Simply wonderful.

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  17. Yay for Trendy Carol!

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  18. Too right about blogging John. The love and support I got from bloggers (especially you) when my darling farmer was dying from that wicked and cruel Glioblastoma was really the thing that got me through. I had wonderful support from family and friends - but I counted you all as just that little bit extra.

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    1. In your case weave, it was well deserved x

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  19. Weaver, something similar to what has happened in my life .. I have been thankful so many times for Johns Blog here and a few others that I can lose myself for a few minutes, when my mind meanders down the wrong lane where everything is sad.

    Meanwhile I think I am getting that Old Timers Disease lol
    Where you just say what you think and be damned.

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    1. Being kind doesn't take too much effort x

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  20. I try to be honest in my blog, but as you say there's a constant tendency to pull punches (women as well as men). And yes, total honesty leads to some very peculiar reactions.

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    1. Nick strangely all of your comments go to my blog spam folder that's why they get published late after I redirect them

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    2. I've been having a lot of trouble with comments lately, on various blogs. They frequently vanish and I have to re-post them.

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  21. I’ve had one or two strange visits but I don’t think they were trolls, they didn’t say anything nasty.
    I think the shop in my village struggles, it’s about to change hands again. The church has a dwindling congregation but ‘do’s’ at the hall are usually well attended. Coffee mornings once a month and seasonal lunches are very popular.
    I’m not sure if I’m going to continue with my allotment this year, it’s hard work and very time consuming. Mind you I’ve been saying that for the last 2 years!

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    1. I've been helping on an allotment for over 30 years & I do love it there-but it is exhausting isn't it.I once had similar to sunstroke when I'd been crawling around weeding in a tunnel for hours & poorly for 2 days.The asparagus & raspberries last year were loverly though x

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  22. "Anyhow, as usual, I am digressing."? Don't you mean digesting?

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  23. I once attracted a long-lost half-brother to my blog, who I last saw when I was 8. He absolutely did not want to communicate with me privately by email, yet kept trying to get me to acknowledge the relationship in the comment section, which I refused to do until I knew what was up with him. I wouldn't say he was a troll exactly, but I sensed some resentment toward me (our mutual father didn't keep in touch with him over the years, like that's my fault.) I have reason to believe he's no longer alive, and I regret, without regretting, that I didn't really get to know him, but I didn't want to do it on his terms. Anyway, that may be my closest encounter with an unstable person on my blog (if you don't count the person--heh, heh--actually writing my blog.)

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  24. Many people these days are frightened of calling a spade a spade or even a shovel. I think the rot in the UK started at the Beeb and spread out from there. Today for example when reporting terrorist attacks and suicide bombers they pussyfoot around and often use the term 'Asian' to described the attacker/s thereby tarnishing Koreans, Chinese, Russians and others - in fact half the world's population. Disgraceful. This is the way to self-censorship and you will see it grow. Guaranteed.

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  25. I'm not very consistent with how I share on my blog. Sometimes I surprise myself with my honesty about personal issues. Often I hold back.

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  26. Sadly we have no 'village' amenities, we are just houses dotted all over a hillside. The few get togethers we have had have been hosted by us or our neighbour, who has lived here for over 30 years ... no one else has picked up the baton to continue them ☹

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  27. I always feel bad about these village churches, just barely hanging on -- as are many of our city churches, too. But at the same time, I have no desire to attend church myself! So I suppose I can't feel TOO bad...

    As for honesty in blogging, I keep things pretty light most of the time, but I always admire people who write well about weightier personal subjects.

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  28. Your reply button isn't working so I've had to reply to your comment here. I've had a lot of trouble with comments lately, on various blogs. The comments keep vanishing and I have to re-post them. (This is another re-post)

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  29. Your reply button isn't working so I have to reply to your comment here. I've had a lot of trouble with comments lately, on various blogs. The comments keep vanishing and I have to re-post them (this is the second re-post)

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  30. I enjoy your truths whatever they are.

    Here the Baptist church shut its doors. The Episcopal church became Anglican then shut its doors, and the Catholics shut half their school.

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  31. I commend you on your blog as it does seem a place of safety to share things you might not say on other ones. I think the way you leave a question hanging encourages one to start thinking back in time and that might be what gets the honest, though sometimes painful, answers. Whatever it is, it is refreshing to come here.

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  32. I enjoy reading your blog I have laughed and cried your stories and your take on life seem honest with no pretense, you have a big heart but you don't let people walk all over an as for trolls that;s what the delete button is for.

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