Thursday, 18 January 2018

The Sins Of Youth

Mr Bradly is on the far right


I was thinking today that this internet thingamajig should come with a health warning.
I am sure the MP Ben Bradly is thinking the same this morning as his blog comments, written when he was 21 years old came back to bite him in the arse.
Mr Bradly was promoted in Theresa May's recent minister "shuffle" and at 28 he has taken on the mantle of "Conservative Vice Chair for Youth". Unfortunately a comment about the sterilization of men on welfare, a nasty and ill advised comment no doubt thrown into a rant about the sponging poor, has been unearthed from blogland and it now threatens to cost him a job that he may well be very suited to.
The internet is unforgiving when it comes to quotes. If it is there in black and white it's there...plain and simple, even if it was written when God was a boy.
I have no thoughts on Ben Bradly one way or another. He may well still hold his youthful views for all I know but I would like to think that he does not.
My thinking, views and prejudices are very different now than they were when I was 21 that's for sure. My saving grace is that my gauche thoughts on the universe were never published on line for the universe to reread forever.
Inspector Javert never forgave Jean Valjean for stealing a loaf of bread despite all the good deeds the poor man did later in his life. Javert was like our modern media.....he never let anything go.

*****************************************************************************

In a rather different vein, the subject of disappointment has been somewhat on my mind. It was raised by an old friend who is clearly disappointed just how their life  has panned out over the years. and was shared not in a self pitying kind of way but in a matter of fact that's how it is kind of way.
I was asked if I had ever been disappointed with my lot and I changed the subject. Not to disguise that fact that I had in any way been disappointed by life's fickle ways but it was to hide the fact that I hadn't .
I didn't want to sound smug.
On the morning dog walk I got to thinking of just when I was last disappointed ?
ok I was miffed that the Mathew Bourne ballet was cancelled on my last visit to London ...oh and I remember feeling hurt and disappointed when a friend I once held very dear gave me a cheap bunch of petrol station flowers for a birthday but that was over a decade ago, and I was being Queeny.
One thought did come to mind when I put some more effort into the question
and it was a moment in New York.
I wanted to somehow reinact this wonderful scene at Grand Central Station


little did I realise that the New Skyscrapers that surround 42nd street now block out all of the light.

I am easily pleased

64 comments:

  1. Disappointed with my lot? I don;t think so. You can't really call being widowed so - that has happened to me twice - not easy to cope with but just how life is. Disappointment is something else and I can't say I have ever felt it. I always worked hard in my working life but managed to 'rise through the ranks' so to speak and so feel reasonably pleased with my efforts. Perhaps it depends on what one's aspirations are.

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  2. Disappointment is just a way of life right now.....

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    Replies
    1. you have a valid reason which is completely out of your control

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  3. Anonymous2:51 pm

    Whenever I feel disappointed, I try to remind myself that I don’t have the two diseases that my parents died from. I will admit to having the occasional pity party but even I don’t want to be around me when that happens! There are no guarantees.
    Love the New York picture! I’ve never been.
    Debbie

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  4. You are not easily pleased - quite the opposite.

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    Replies
    1. how VERY dare you!

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    2. how very funny you two!

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    3. wahahahahahahaha Very funny Dr. Chris Burton.

      cheers, parsnip and mandibles

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    4. @dr. chris - oh me-OW! spoken like a spouse...

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  5. Some people are able to find the good stuff in the middle of shit. Some people see the tiny pile of shit in the middle of the good stuff.

    I work at the former but my bent is the latter. Today I am anything but disappointed.

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  6. I am also easily pleased. It's a blessing.

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  7. I liked the way you compared Javert to the internet and how it is so unforgiving. One might say that Javert is our conscience. The ever lurking presence of the law and our own condemnation. The tension between who we were and who we are and who we can be. Javert represents that inescapable, shameful past that forever haunts and persues one's conscience.

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    Replies
    1. P.S. I must admit that only the first sentence of the above comment was my own.

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  8. Cool pic of Grand Central! Progress sure does change things.

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  9. It just goes to show that if you fancy a career in politics, you have to live a totally blameless life!

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  10. I was extremely disappointed when we didn't get our first woman president last year. It's been all downhill from there.

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    Replies
    1. ‘Disappointment’ doesn’t begin to explain the feeling, does it?

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    2. Never mind, next time you can choose between Oprah and Ivanka,

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    3. Or Mrs Weinstein, or Mrs Obama, or Judy Garland dec'd, or Monica.

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    4. Or, dare I say it aloud, Elizabeth Warren

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    5. Anonymous9:06 pm

      or Rosemary West oh... wait

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    6. 2018 - smash the patriarchy! VOTE!

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    7. Would it hearten you all to know that not only do we in NZ have a 37 year old female Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, but she announced today that she is pregnant, in her second trimester, and she and her partner Clarke thought they would never get to be parents and he is going to be the primary care giver and she is beyond fabulous? Very happy today!

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  11. One day when I was in a supermarket pushing my trolley I literally bumped into an old work colleague. I hadn't seen him for a long time. Or maybe he was looking older. 'How's it going?' I asked. 'It's not,' he replied, 'I wish I was back at work.' He went on to say how bored he was in his life. I was disappointed. I was basically disappointed FOR him. I wanted to scream and shout and shake him: 'Pull yourself together man!' but of course I didn't. I simply cracked a banal joke, an attempt to cheer him up for a few seconds. And then I went the checkout with my purchases. What I should have done was take him to the nearest pub. But maybe not. That could have been worse.

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  12. I am struggling to think of anything major I found disappointing. Then I did. Other peoples lack of empathy. Like Ben Bradly.

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  13. I thought about this for a bit. I loved my work and I now like retirement and I find that the small things do make me happy. I am fortunate because I do have friends who are disappointed with the way life has gone for them.

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  14. Anonymous5:00 pm

    I have always thought of myself as a lucky person although there have been times of disaster when that went by the board. At 70, I still have it better than many of my contemporaries and remind myself of this whenever I feel disappointed.

    Sometimes it is a matter of choosing to see the positive in a situation; choosing to remember the good times in a marriage that broke down so I did not become bitter about the ending and subsequent grief. But I am a hopeful idealist.

    Carol from West Lothian

    Carol from West Lothian

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  15. I worry about saying I am disappointed with anything these days , as some people have this tendency to lecture me.
    Somehow the idea that when a woman becomes a widow, she becomes a twit and must only be spoken to as a child.
    Which because I am a twit, I react to in a childish or bitchy way.
    I can't win.
    I love my cats and they never disappoint me and neither do you and the blog so I am content ... muy contenta * I am homesick for Buenos Aires*

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  16. With the benefit of hindsight I am not saying I wouldn't have done some things differently but disappointed with anything? No.

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  17. I've been blogging publically since 1974...most entries illustrated one way or another. I did all sorts of things that shouldn't have been published in the first ten years...maybe more, actually. If any comes back to haunt me, life will get a little more interesting. LOL

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  18. At the moment I'm not disappointed with anything.

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  19. Disappointed with the way life is now, I will say yes but I will also say that a lot of it didn't "turn out" that way for me, it had a lot to do with me trying to take the easy way in life and now I have the consequences to live with.

    As for past mistakes, it was easier for us as our younger years were not put on the internet. I can think of a guy in my high school class that used to constantly tell racist jokes about a certain group of people, eventually he went out into the world and learned something. Today he is married to a beautiful woman from one of the cultures he joked about. I am sure he would be sick to his stomach if someone had an old tape of those jokes to show his wife and teenaged sons.

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    Replies
    1. I heard a young man talk about such behaviour on the radio. He was homophobic, and racist and joined a far right organisation as a result. He did it to fit in and to be a part of something.....when he realised that he changed

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  20. I have been disappointed!? with several people I have known.If one of my dogs were to do a poo on the floor & I stood in it I would smile-as my teddy does the occasional teddy poo x

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  21. I have been disappointed a few times, I am not sure that is the right word because it is the hit in the gut kind of disappointment/sorrow.
    But everyday I wake up and I am happy I am here and still chugging along.
    As for Mr. Bradly, I do not know him but I think we all have views when we are young. Hopefully we grow up and have a better understanding of the world. I would hope we all accept growth in people.

    cheers, parsnip and mandibles

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  22. My poor mum was permanently disappointed I think, my dad wasn't Robert Mitchum, she didn't get to marry Clint Eastwood, I wasn't pretty, I'm sure there were other things that disappointed her, but these are the ones I remember best.

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    Replies
    1. That's not disappointment just negativity

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  23. It's my middle name.

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  24. Dissappointment, like happiness, is a choice. You can choose either way. I personally feel better when I decide to feel happy, or not be disappointed over life's servings of shit sandwhiches. We all have them, and it's our lessons, and it's how we respond, that teaches us. Needless to say, I am also disappointed that the beautiful light in Grand Central Station is blocked by skyscrapers...such a travesty!

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    1. I'm not sure you can choose not to be disappointed you feel what you feel....it's how you cope with the disappointment which is the key

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  25. I’d have done things differently, with hindsight, for sure, but I’m not disappointed with how things turned out. As for the other thing, there’s not a day goes by I don’t thank my lucky stars that we didn’t have mobile phones with cameras, and the internet, back in the early 80s. I would be ashamed of my mis-spent youth if I could remember more than about ten percent of it. It was more through luck than judgement that I didn’t end up dead in a skip somewhere, so yeah, best not revisited really....

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    1. Dead in a skip
      Been there, worn the vomit

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  26. My life has not been what I hoped and increasing disability means I won't be able to play catch up like some are able to. Yes, I am disappointed but you know, life is never what we expect and hopefully I 'm not bitter

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    1. You never come across as such

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  27. I love your way with words,makes for very interesting reading.I could write a book about my life,very turbulant,some very sad times,very happy times but isn't this what shapes who we become,and how strong we are.x ps.More pics of the fur babies pleeeeeese

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    Replies
    1. I've posted a photo just for you

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  28. Everybody has disappointments in life, no biggie. How boring it would be if we got everything in life we wanted and had no challenges. I have regrets but they are all lessons learned. Life is never easy, but I have had a good ride.

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  29. A lesson learned for that new minister of the Crown....a tough one I'm sure.
    Disappointment is something life throws at us to test our reasoning skills. After the first 100 or so, disappointment takes on a different we become numb!

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  30. I was orphaned before my teens, but I was lucky that my siblings were old enough to take care of me and we didn't lose our home, and we had enough brains and determination to find good jobs. I do think that accepting that s**t happens really helps. I'm sure that if our parents could see us now, 50 years on, they would be really pleased with how we have turned out. I am certainly not disappointed, and I have a strong sense of "There, but for the Grace of God, go I."

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    Replies
    1. Now there's the screenplay for a great movie

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  31. I try not to take things personally..

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  32. You said you are not the same person now as you were at 21 and perhaps Mr. Bradly isn't, either . . . but there is a huge difference between seven years later and 29 years later (or whatever it is for you). I find very few people mature enough or with enough general knowledge or experience at age 30 to have the ability to do a good job in office. There is no substitute for life experience, in my opinion.

    I do take your point that those currently of a younger age have this great disadvantage of having every foolish thing they've publicly posted out there for the world to see. On the other hand, there are many younger people who were wise enough not to publish every errant thought that ran through their heads, and even those who actually did not HAVE those regrettable thoughts.

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  33. Disappointed there are so many choices in life but we only get one go around so for the most part I'm happy and who knows if my choices had been different I may not have been so I'm not disappointed I don't sweat the small stuff I always make sure I have something to look forward to simple things like desert or an outing with a friend.

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  34. He should have deleted all social media the moment elected. I think that is wisest policy now frankly.

    Now, two left from the PM my local MP .... what I could tell the tabloid press about that man......

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  35. Anonymous7:05 pm

    I've been reading your blog for a long time now, & Toms, & Weavers, & Thelmas ( North Stoke)& Bless our Hearts. All beautiful. Ben Bradley has no place in any civilised society. I don't give a shit wether he regrets these comments or not. He says nothing to me about my life & he is a nothing.





    &

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  36. Anonymous7:18 pm

    Even at 12 years old i was aware that sterlising anyone wasnt a decision anyone could make; even in jest. His mindset is abhorrent. He is unevolved & completely ignorant.

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