Sunday, 21 January 2018

The Pebble That Does What it's told !


It's sleeting today. Cold wet sleet in biting wind.
I cleaned the church early and slipped down the steps of the boiler house putting the Christmas tree away. 
The Tree cushioned my fall so no real harm done.
I made sure I sprayed every radiator in the church with polish before I left so as they switched on the smell of clean shiny wood filled the space.
I learnt that trick from a friend of mine who was a cleaning lady.
Mind you she got caught by one of her clients on his CCTV one day after spraying fabreeze around his flat and doing little else!
I've walked the dogs, fed the Prof his breakfast in bed, lit the fire, sorted the field animals and cleaned the Church.
All before 9 am
Now it's coffee time with some music.
The Prof's brother and sister law bought us a strange little object at Christmas.
It looked like a large pebble connected to an electric plug.
It's a" google plus" I was informed " you ask it things"
Well initially the google plus was a real let down as it got all flustered with some of my questioning
The " Hey Google will Carol Snog Daryl in season 8 of The Walking Dead?" question fell on deaf ears and it took an age before the bloody thing found me a recipe for low fat macaroni cheese  but after a bit of practice now it's sort of come into its own as just now, after I sit down with my bucket of coffee I call over ( still somewhat self consciously I must say)
" Hey Google play A selection of movie soundtracks by John Williams!" 
And after a polite acknowledgement by a posh sounding lady the kitchen is suddenly filled with stirring music!
What strange magic!
Apparently you can get different voices to answer your hey google questions?
I wonder if they do Russell Crowe?
Ohhh errrr

72 comments:

  1. I’ve never seen one of those before, but want one, with Tom Hardy’s voice please.

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  2. Hey Google, develop a terminal fault and explode!

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  3. I've been using Amazon's version for just over a year and now Alexa is part of the family!

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    Replies
    1. It's fickle I'd say that for it

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  4. Now you tell me... a pebble that does what it’s told. When I’ve just come in from raking sacks of pebbles to make my Derek Jarman garden! I could have sat in the armchair and ordered the bags to spread themselves. The wonders of modern science...

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    1. Have you planted lots of sea holly?

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    2. Not yet! Derek Jarman’s Garden is my bible at the mo. Added to which we can see Dungeness from our little patch, not today though! Fishermen are still out there at it, as it were! Hardy mortals these men.

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  5. The Rise of the Robots!!!Wish my bleedin' Broadband connection was so efficient.

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  6. Well it looks a lot neater than some of the gadgets that do your bidding and respond to your every word ... or not as the case may be.

    I think I'd be asking obscure questions too, well for the first few days of ownership.

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    Replies
    1. I meant to add, I don't do the spraying the radiator with furniture polish trick but I do suck a piece of lavender essential oil soaked tissue up the hoover after emptying it and before I put it away.

      It makes the understairs cupboard smell nice and then when I start hoovering instead of that fusty, dusty smell you get a nice, subtle aroma of lavender as you work your way around the rooms.

      Other essential oils are available :-)

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    2. I feel a " handy hints" blog tomorrow

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    3. In summer I spritz a light cologne from Penhaligons on drapes and cushions and I sometimes put a tiny dab of my pricey perfume on light bulbs in winter .

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  7. I've got an Alexa. She frightens me a bit although she's very polite.

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    Replies
    1. Ours has no name and sounds like Jane asher

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    2. Pebbles or Bam Bam, like in the Flintstones!

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    3. I would feel so weird talking to the little box and calling it by name.. Alexa find something that cats like to watch lol

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  8. I gave exact same pebble to the husband at Christmas. He's ignoring her. Maybe if his sounded like Jane Asher he'd love it more? X

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  9. I wonder if it also records what you say and sends it back to Google...

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    Replies
    1. I never thought about that
      !

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    2. The amazon version does

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  10. "hey google, can you make donald dump and all his dumplings disappear?"

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    Replies
    1. Even something the size of Google couldn't do. It's now up to the American people

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    2. lol Joanne .. I hope so!

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  11. Alan Rickman's voice for me, please.

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    Replies
    1. Or Anthony hopkins

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    2. Anonymous7:03 pm

      John Gray's voice....

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    3. Oh yes, Alan Rickman ~

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  12. Anonymous1:35 pm

    Yay, Anne Marie!
    We got something similar for Christmas. We haven’t plugged it in yet. We’re still deciding whether or not we want to be recorded. Our son added items to his sisters grocery list when he visited. “Alexis, could you add furry handcuffs to the shopping list.”
    Debbie

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    Replies
    1. ooooh, a naughty grocery list! now I wonder where this item can be found in my grocery store...pharmacy? health & beauty?

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  13. 1984 - the rock is always listening.

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  14. I looked at them before Christmas but decided to take a pass for now. My car talks to me though.

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  15. You mean to say I'm the only one with a staff for things like this??? And the houseboys look more fun to see,lol!

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    Replies
    1. I've always wanted a housekeeper like Janet out of Dr Finlay

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    2. You reminded me of my one and only Dr Finlay's Casebook joke:

      "Can you tell me Dr Cameron, is anything worn under the kilt?"

      "Och no Janet, it's all in perfect working order."

      Maybe it's a good thing that it's the only one I know...

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    3. I could quote Bette Midler here and her divine right ! And her divine left

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  16. If i had one i would want it to sound like Sean Connery... just sayin'... Hugs! deb

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    Replies
    1. Haha ... I'm married to a man that sounds just like Sean Connery, so that would be very confusing for me 😉

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  17. "The world of tomorrow . . . today!"

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  18. When you start saying "thank you" you'll know you are too far gone.

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  19. Can you find out the meaning of life? If the answer's a number, lose it in your garden - or somebody else's !

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    Replies
    1. The meaning of life.....that's being anyone

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  20. THE John Williams (of guitar fame?) Love his playing - might buy a pebblw. What is it really called?

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    Replies
    1. No the film composer weave

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  21. Phew I’m exhausted just reading what you did before 9 am! What a clever idea with the polish. I would like a google pebble with Sean Connery’s voice on it.

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  22. You should be doing stand up! haha.

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  23. Anonymous4:36 pm

    Jane Asher nooooo. Richard Burton yes!!!!

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  24. Play Hans Zimmer next time your in the mood...

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  25. My niece heard her two year old instruct Alexa to play some music and my son got told off for swearing by Siri !

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  26. Does it make fart noises? Alexa does! :)

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  27. I denigrated these, until I discovered Google can get me anywhere in the car. I used to figure it out myself, but it's so comforting to hear Helyn tell me. You just endorsed this one, in my house. Mine will be a little stone, too.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I have google on my phone in case I need directions . In a British accent , thank yew veddy much.

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  28. I wonder if the stone lady ever spoke to your dogs?You have to take great care helping at the Church,I know someone who was recently standing on a table to remove Christmas decorations at a Church & she fell & hurt her back x

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  29. Phyllis Diller used to have a whole comedy routine about hating housework. She said that before her husband "Fang" got home from work she would dab a little furniture polish behind each ear to make him think she'd been dusting and cleaning all day.

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  30. I admit I gave mine back to the person who gave it to me.
    Everything about it just made me say no ... I think I am just too wary of things that are supposed to make things easier but they are actually complicating things.
    I have a remote that turns the tv on and one for the stereo .. both work fine .. I will remain in my cave and happy with my sticks and rocks :)

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    Replies
    1. I hear ya; this rock will NEVER be invited into my house. nor do I have a cell phone.

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  31. But John if it had Russeel Crowe's voice it might take on his attitude and would like as not come out with "Find you own fucking music you lazy bastard!!"

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  32. Imagine how exciting it will be when the sex robots come out! I will take mine in a Chris Pratt model, hmm maybe Chris Hemworth, or wait maybe.....

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  33. For some reason, I got two days behind in reading your words. I miss you when I'm not here. Glad the rock has caught on. Glad you got caught in your PJ's at 8. Makes for delightful reading.

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  34. Can the pebble cook dinner, walk the dog, program my stupid new car?
    Be careful, the polish might be flammable, wax and resin!
    Do you enjoy serving Prof breakfast in bed?

    lizzy

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  35. https://todaydirectory.blogspot.co.id/

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  36. Think I would need a permanent connection for that, eh? Guess I'll have to pass. You will get used to it.

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  37. If you need help, here's a hilarious video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2R0NSKtVA0

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  38. If I had one I would want Shelby Foote to talk to me.

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  39. I think those gizmos are programmed to "learn" the accents and inflections of the person giving them orders -- so maybe it will become more and more efficient as time passes!

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