Thursday, 25 January 2018

Lewd Behaviour


Much has been made of the dreadful conduct of the rich and famous at that charity night at The Dorchester last night.
The sight of a men only night out where 300 men slavered over a bevvy of mini skirted hostesses ( who happened to agree to go to the night in question with matching skirts and knickers) makes me feel rather sick but I think it is important to have some balance here so I wanted to tell you of the time in 1999 when I went to a nightclub in Sheffield with a friend.
In a function room of the club there was a "female only" charity night taking place.
Male "exotic" dancers were on show, the ladies had a  basket meal, much too much to drink, a comedian and a raffle and
their behaviour would have made Caligula blush believe me!
My friend and I were molested, groped and goosed several times by some of these women as they staggered back from the loo ( and we were in a corridor at the time on the way to another bar!)
A barman had his shirt removed ( well ripped off!)
and I am sure an "oral act" was actually performed on one of the dancers in full view of the wife of the head of the council!
lets get a bit of balance here
bad behaviour is bad behaviour ! whatever sex you are
plain and simple.........lets not make it into a man hating moment please!

94 comments:

  1. I agree 1000 percent and yes that has three zeroes :)

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  2. I totally agree John. And... not that it makes it a whit more acceptable, looking back through history it was not just common, but accepted as normal, for women - servants, and daughters, - to be abused, and wives to accept marital rape, just as 'the way life was'. And the girls/women who then got pregnant were thrown out to bear their child in disgrace, and ALL of society saw that as OK. Hardly a surprise male attitudes have a fair way to go to change, is it.

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  3. I believe, from a Radio programme I've just been listening to, that there's less behind this story than we have been led to believe. No-one has complained; just a few journalists having their day!

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  4. I rather think that Cro has got it right, especially after watching the journalist woman struggling to convince that she had been groped. Also, I presume that no one forced those hostesses to be there and dress as they did, they surely agreed to do so.

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    1. And it was ok that these women who are just trying to make a living had to put up with behaviour like this ?
      No no no

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  5. It is true that groups of women have sometimes imitated lewd male behaviour in situations like the one you describe but harassment of women by sexist men has always been much, much more prevalent. It's like comparing a flea with an elephant.

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    1. Agreed yp. The shift of power has always been against women
      That's changing . It really is

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    2. Yorkshire Pudding, hi, at last a sane, if lonely, voice. I like your "comparing a flea with an elephant". Indeed.

      U

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    3. For once I agree with you Ursula. I think the first crux of my blog entry was more a side swipe at the mentality of single sex meetings rather than a swipe at women be a men thing. Any abusive. Sexualized behaviour is wrong. Period.

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    4. I agree Yorkshire Pudding. Bad behaviour is unacceptable whether male or female but I think what this event highlights is that some men (in this case also rich and powerful men) think it acceptable to behave in this way in the guise of 'doing good'. I imagine most of the hostesses were students and not wealthy. Had they employed prostitutes I expect the wages would have been much higher but it would have levelled the field somewhat. I know it may seem an over reaction to some but if my student daughter had been there I would be glad the event received the bad publicity it did. Power and wealth should not be a licence to bully or harass anyone, even if Trump shows otherwise.

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  6. It sounds sexist to say it now (Sexist? MOI?) but for a long time I've thought, having been through the experiences, that having the attentions of a group of drunk men is bad enough, but being at the mercy of a gang of drunken women is even worse. (Details are too embarrassing to recount here!)

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    1. Raybeard how many times in your life have you had to deal with this, and at any time did you feel your life or personal safety was at risk? Women live in a sea of this, ALL THE TIME, with instances of feeling in real danger being many and frequent for some. It is changing in some areas but not in enough and it feels as if we're going backwards.

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  7. Any man who has worked in an office full of women, as I have, can cite examples of what would now be called "sexual harassment" but at the time we simply all enjoyed the office banter. Funnily enough though, I doubt that even now, men would consider complaining about such a thing.

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    1. Hopefully all of this dreadful behaviour will be eventually bred out of us

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  8. In the early 80's I once went out with the local playgroup PTA. We we all mothers of children under 5 years of age.
    We were merry but not drunk, the manager had to swap our young male waiter for an older female as the young gentleman was embarrassed by our conversations. I heard the manager explaining that we were normal and that he'd better get used to it.

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  9. I can't help but agree. As barman who had to endure a hen party's attentions said in an interview, this isn't a male or female issue - it's a human issue.

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  10. Some women can be shockers too.

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  11. I agree that behaviour like this from either gender is unacceptable and at the moment the media is only concentrating on one side of the story.
    Arilx

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  12. Tried to comment but it disappeared. This was commenting from Google.

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  13. I find myself distracted by the arse in that black mini skirt...

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    1. ...and didn't notice that the man she is standing next to is smoking a cigarette! Indoors! In public!

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    2. Tom, They're standing outside the Dorchester doors in that photograph!
      So, misogynistic twat he may be, but at least he's not smoking indoors!

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  14. In the long, dim, distant past I have attended Young Farmers' dinners, Rotary and Round Table functions and business Christmas Parties and seen many a middle-aged man made silly by drink. (And yes, I totally agree about women on hen-nights and the like.) This will not change.
    Perhaps this is a generational thing. Perhaps it's just down to experience and seeing people as they are, not as we'd like them to be.
    What I do know is that if I was the mum of a sick child who was not receiving treatment for want of charitable donations, I would don my fishnets in a flash!

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    1. Hopefully through natural selection and attitudes this behaviour will die away

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  15. I have attended Ann Summers parties and girls' night theatre and I find the lewd behaviour very manufactured. It's a mob mentality thing stirred up by the people running it. Couldn't get out quick enough.

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    1. Yes feral behaviour that sweeps a room

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  16. Yorkshire puddings comment made me think about this and of course he is right. We (men) have little understanding of the power wielded by men and especially men of a certain status and age . trump ism

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    1. And that's where you hit the nail on the head, John: It's a question of "power". Power of money and status, of course. But also actual PHYSICAL power.

      If a man grabbed your (John's) bottom or the equivalent of your "pussy" full on, uninvited, indeed a stranger, you'd most likely lash out, wouldn't you? Or do as my, then 23 year old, son did when one of the (male) managers grabbed his bottom on some stuff do. He hissed at him to never do that again or the Angel would see him outside. Oh dear. Poor guy muttered something about it having been a dare (remember my son looks like your archetypal Viking with long blond locks cascading down his back and confidence to match). Now imagine the same case scenario for a woman. A woman might hiss at a man "Never ever do that again" but she'd hardly be in a position to promise a fist fight and a black eye, would she?

      I am lucky to say that most men I know aren't the arseholes that give men a bad name. But, by golly, and reading through your thread and comments on this subject on the blogs of some of your circle, the ones who poo poo a very unpleasant (usually directed at females) experience are out in full force (both male and female).

      U

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    2. I actually have never had any problem decking any man or woman who overstepped my boundaries.

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    3. Come on, Hard Up Hester, if push comes to shove there is little contest. And you know it. How does rape happen? Because you, woman, can just kick a guy in the balls? Give me a break. Whilst a woman's strength may lie between her thighs, a man's (and so much more useful) is not only in his arms' pecs but his upper body.

      To give men credit, when it comes to the garden and its dwarves' variety of violence - rather than violation of someone's body - most men will actually shy away from hitting a woman where they have no compunction to take on another man. Well, it's a man thing, isn't it.

      Mud wrestling greetings,
      U

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    4. Hester impressed me

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  17. "Any abusive sexualized behaviour is wrong. Period." = HELL YEAH! by EITHER gender!

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  18. There is an appropriate time and place for anything, and a charity fundraiser, is not the place or time for this kind of behavior. The organizers and men involved should be ashamed of their behaviour. This was a charity fund raiser, the women involved were hired as essentially wait staff.

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  19. I agree Yorkshire Pudding. Bad behaviour is unacceptable whether male or female but I think what this event highlights is that some men (in this case also rich and powerful men) think it acceptable to behave in this way in the guise of 'doing good'. I imagine most of the hostesses were students and not wealthy. Had they employed prostitutes I expect the wages would have been much higher but it would have levelled the field somewhat. I know it may seem an over reaction to some but if my student daughter had been there I would be glad the event received the bad publicity it did. Power and wealth should not be a licence to bully or harass anyone, even if Trump shows otherwise.
    Well said Travel.

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    1. I think Trumps behaviour will eventually provide a resurgence of good manners .......the ideal protest

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  20. I doubt if many of the women protesting are man-haters. What they're objecting to is not men as such but what many men see as normal behaviour i.e. harassing, groping and raping women. They just want men to treat women with respect and not as sexual prey.

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    1. The man haters will be the media writers making a story

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    2. @nick - (this is not aimed at you, but men in general) I am NOT an ignorant piece of ass, you disgusting str8 males! I am an intelligent woman! THIS REASON is why I like gay men; they see me as an equal, and have no interest in getting into my pants!

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    3. AM NICK is a supportive straight guy to women , all women .....like me xxx
      I love the way you support your gay friends btw xxxx

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  21. And the club who hired these women as waitresses and asked them to dress in this manner should be shot down too.

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    1. It's interesting that the catering company defended itself by saying knickers had to be black as some wear white knickers with a black frock and that didn't look good!
      Ho hum

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  22. Everyone, no matter physical or sexual orientation, should respect everyone and behave in a civilized manner. That said, there are women (and men) who cater to the basest of behaviors.

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    1. Amen......perhaps the discussion about this night ( and others like them) will allow another step in the right direction of new behaviour

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  23. The old "she asked for it " BS ... And how many women do you think haven't the qualifications to work somewhere better, who have children to feed and house and they are humiliated every night just dressing like that, then dealing with piggish men who think a woman is available to be touched and insulted because she works there ?

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  24. A belated Best Wishes from one who was attacked a Rottweiler.

    May the gods be with the underdogs George.

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    1. Good for you....you are a braver man than me

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  25. And the common denominator: Alcohol!

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    1. I agree with that.

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    2. Alcohol and feral behaviour are bad bedfellows

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    3. Exactly! Kevin Spacey should have ended his apology with the words "I now choose to live my life as an alcohol free man."

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  26. Is it just me or is the human race getting more disgusting every year?

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  27. Respect everyone regardless of what sex they are? I agree wholeheartedly but will it ever be so - certainly not while there are men who have money, girls who want money. And when do we start including war and the terrible things done to men and women then. The world was always like this - I honestly don't know where to start.

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  28. People on the whole are a total let-down. However, I do have to admit - guiltily - that I was a tad relieved that all the bad behavior is not exclusive to this side of the pond.

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  29. In a way, it goes all the way back to the old image of the cave man with his club, knocking out and grabbing any women he wants. Personally, I doubt that much of this male/female thing will ever change.

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    1. Let's hope so.....I think things have changed hugely

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  30. I remember watching an interview with a man who confessed that he used to be a stripper in his younger days. He said that he found gay men treated him with more respect than when he danced at all female clubs. There are brainless people regarding both genders.

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  31. Probably irrelevant comment .. but a few years ago regularly attended what may - in the eyes and beliefs - of the Bishops circa 300 CE ...
    be considered a "lewd" strip club.

    However - will counsel against making judgements on a few words.

    The females working there knew exactly what they were doing.

    (um, have experience working real life "theatre" ... some time ago. What the audience sees, and believes ... is not necessarily what happens behind the 'flats' ... heh)

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  32. um, JG ... reminds me of what one of my "mentors" told me a long time ago .. perhaps on the "Real live" stage ... 'our job is the willing suspension of disbelief'

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  33. Buuut .. back in the days of the 'proscenium arch' .. the audience KNEW ..
    these days, who knows what fakery happens on the internet ..

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  34. If the women wore skimpy clothes as bunny girls did & under no circumstances could they be touched or be spoken to distrespectably I wouldn't mind so much but no one seems to have been protecting the employees x

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    1. Yes I agree wholeheartedly

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  35. It behoves any person who has power over another to behave with restraint and not abuse their position. The fact that both sexes do is a sad reflection on humanity generally.

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  36. Anonymous7:00 pm

    Agree with last comment!

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  37. Women who work in strip clubs or places like Hooters or at events like the one you reference do so for many reasons, and part of that is that they understand they are being paid to be looked at - NOT manhandled, molested, and humiliated. And that goes the other way with the sexes switched, too. But for women, a fear of physical harm is always an additional factor...

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    1. I should have said being paid IN PART for being looked at - obviously they are working, too!

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    2. Mutual respect is perhaps the next vital step. I suspect this is the death of these sort of nights

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  38. I think women get it far worse than men ever do. I remember a tv drama many years ago which I suppose was art imitating life. The scenes with the London toffs in their club and waitresses was very much as this recent event has been described. The rich and powerful thought it was their right.

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  39. Waited until the end (new post from you)before commenting. John, this is a subject that as a male, gay, straight or whatever, I'd venture into. This is for women to work out on their own. Whatever different sub groups of men there are, do their own issues. Don't do the equivent of 'mansplaining' to this 'metoo' issue. You won't come out on the right side. Object all you like, but don't do it in response of a specific issue like this. You're in the wrong here, my friend. Don't happen often, but it does to everyone.
    Cheers from my quarter century past you, which makes me no wiser, just a bit more experienced.

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    1. 'this is not a subject....' sorry

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    2. I think we all need to figure it out xxx

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  40. Don’t often disagree with you John but on this one I do. It is mostly a male thing I am afraid.

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    1. I think you are right , my point was a the dangers of same sex meetings

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  41. It's all been said so I wont say anything.Makes for very interesting reading tho.

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  42. I really like you post good blog,Thanks for your sharing.

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  43. I am old and fat but at a drag gig I was doing last night looking hawt by all accounts, I got hit on by a really nice young man. I knew he was straight as his gal pal pointed this out earlier. He was very gentle about it, and it was the first time I experienced feeling flattered not angry. They are always cute, always half my age and yet, the term cougar applies to the women who are older but there is no word for the young men. typical. Anyway I am not interested in any of them and it's one of the reasons I perform in gay bars, to ensure I don't get hit on by blokes. Women are generally much more fun to flirt with, although they all know I'm not going to take them home (monogamy is a life choice!) Not sure what my point is except that to be a woman outside her own house is to be preyed upon at any time or place, of the predators choose to do so. And often, inside her own home too.

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    1. Anonymous8:42 am

      I agree being a female we are on 24/7 alert. I find my space invaded by leering stares,etc, When I am 100% switched off 24/7 I cringe daily.

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    2. I got accosted on the street last night to by a very persistent Greek guy, who would not take no for an answer, tried to kiss me on the mouth, just wanted what he wanted and figured he could charm me into agreeing. Turns out he couldn't. I was not rude or offensive to him though i found his behaviour to me both of those things. WHY will these guys not take a no to mean NO NO NONONONONONNO

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    3. Anonymous11:59 pm

      Sorry to hear!! It's not nice is it! Luckily it's never happened to me. Only catch odd man staring as they do all females.

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  44. Enjoy with video model sexy that get top in the world

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