As I sneaked one cocktail sausage out of the pack I somehow caught the packaging on the lip of my carrier bag and dropped 39 miniature sausages onto the floor.
It would have been fine if I was home, after all the sausages were bought as treats for the dogs, but I was stood at our local ATS Euromaster waiting for a tyre to be changed, and the waiting room was almost full of people.
Now if you drop money all sorts of people will come out of the woodwork to your aid, but I have to say, drop 39 mini bangers in front of 7 people in a grotty garage waiting room and no fucker comes to help!
I could have died of shame
"Help me folks. Three second rule rules".
ReplyDeleteOnly you, J.G. Ha ha! I can just see you, face purple as beetroot and muttering to yourself, wishing the ground would open up and swallow you - and the sausages.
ReplyDeleteIts my dyspraxia i knew I was going to drop them a fraction of a second before i did
ReplyDeleteI wanted t o say dyspraxia bites but I couldn't remember the name of it!
DeleteI fell over in the garden later on too
DeleteAfter all these years you really should be able to control your sausage, John.
ReplyDeleteLOL ..... giggling helplessly ... thank you
Deletebwhahahahaha!
DeleteThey have minds oftheir own
DeleteMy dear John, you let yourself be embarrassed too easily. Try bleeding like a pig (white jumpsuit) on your first postpartum outing, visiting WAITROSE no less, with freshly baked baby in arm. Such was my delirious happiness I thought people smiling at me were smiling at the Angel. Even a group of youngsters sniggering didn't register with my new mother's pride. Till a kindly older lady pulled down the Angel's blanket to cover my "shame". I did flee back to the carpark. Though not embarrassed. Disgusted with human kind.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, since you appear quick witted, why didn't you turn to the garage audience, with a grand and sweeping gesture: "Help yourselves."
U
I just went red , said " whoops" and bent over
Deletedid you fart when you bent over?
DeleteThat'll teach you to sneakily snaffle one of the dogs treats!
ReplyDeleteThey're just little wieners. No real harm done.
ReplyDeleteToo bad you didn't have a dog with you. There would have been help a plenty from that province.
ReplyDeleteAt least your life is never boring and you never wonder what you'll blog about :) Did you buy another package for the woofies?
ReplyDeleteNo i filled my pockets with them and the dogs had them later
DeleteIt helps to travel with dogs.
ReplyDeleteI have known anyone have so many minor crises as you John - you seem to dash from one to the next.
ReplyDeleteYou should have asked "Anyone for a game of Snakes and Sausages?"
ReplyDeleteNext time bring a dog. :)
ReplyDeleteRight, there were 40 in the package then?!
ReplyDeleteGreetings Maria x
For little thing like this I was called "Grace." What do they call you besides John?
ReplyDeleteThey look a bit wrinkly!
ReplyDeleteThere's a silver lining to this, John. You have taught the old Catalyst a new word. I had never heard "dyspraxia" before this. And I commend you for only saying "whoops". My expression would have been much worse!
ReplyDeleteDid you pick them up and did the dogs get them?
ReplyDeleteOh John, I needed a giggle with my afternoon coffee.
ReplyDeleteYou are so not alone. Klutzdom rules here too.
ReplyDeleteDamn . . . you are fun!
ReplyDeleteActually i am a liability
DeleteNever travel without a labrador (ps what does albert get for snacks?)
ReplyDeleteThat's is just the sort of thing I do. Soooooo funny.
ReplyDeleteOh dear.
ReplyDeleteAnd dogs everywhere wailed with disappointment.
ReplyDeleteThe good thing is that you saved the sausages. No reason to be embarrassed, after all, you didn't eat them off the floor.
ReplyDelete(ps what does albert get for snacks?)
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