Wednesday, 27 September 2017

If You Can't Beat Em.............


Foolishly I was drawn into a political conversation at 3.30am this morning.
I should have known better,as I hadn't even downed my first coffee of the day but my colleague, who is politically very active, pushed a button on a subject I feel passionately about.
My temper started to flare when I was told in no uncertain terms ( and rather patronisingly I thought) that I was wrong and that my colleague was right because he had read extensively on the matter.
Luckily for all I changed the subject before things got out of hand

My second upset of the day came when Albert followed our walk up the lane which necessitated me slowing down a speeding car in order for him to exit into the sheep field.
The driver wasn't best pleased with me and impatiently revved his engine as I stood there. Luckily Winnie was standing directly in front of the car like Buddha so he couldn't have pulled past me even if he had wanted to, so in the time it took Albert to reach the field pull in , I had already been called an " f€#king animal freak" by the driver , something I replied to with my best gay wave.

What's wrong with people ? I thought.
A statement I repeated to myself just a hour or so later when I bumped into a nurse friend of mine in the book row of Tescos. We chatted for an age before an untidy Irish woman yelled at both of us for being in her way" Get out of my way! " she snapped angrily  " look at you chatting up that girl and laughing! It's a bloody supermarket not a social club, you shop here not talk!" 
Obviously this had been brewing for a while, and me calling her " a crabby old cow" didn't really help matters greatly, although her surprise at the statement was some vindication for the spat.

As luck would have it I spied the same woman as I stood at the check out of Boots-The Chemist a half hour later. " I can't believe that you called me an old cow, you awful man!!!!" she started up again
I almost went for my usual " Cheap Shoes" put down , but the woman was wearing old lady booties so instead I replied with and equally loud "In fact  I called you a CRABBY old cow if you are going to quote me get it right" much to the surprise of the other women in the queue.

" I'm surrounded by idiots" I said to no one in particular when I handed over my dehumidifier tablets to be scanned

"Welcome to the world of retail" said the cashier wearily

63 comments:

  1. Wow! I'd say you had more than your share of negative human interaction for any given day. Some people are SO angry, mysteriously. (I'm impressed you were awake to have a political conversation at 3:30 a.m. I haven't been up at that hour in ages!)

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  2. beautifully told!

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  3. Thats more than enough for anyone's sanity in one day. Stay in bed tomorrow :)

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  4. Nobody in their right mind talks politics in the middle of the night. At least you changed the subject, but guess it was too late.

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  5. A ghastly day, well handled. I thought you might relate to a snippet from Cleaver.
    https://youtu.be/2xZEJvDlOlg

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    1. A programme ive never seen but i adored him

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  6. Good retorts. Well deserved.

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  7. Sometimes you just have to let it out. More people should I think.

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    1. Idid and i do......hope tom stevenson is driven mad by the gif

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  8. I generally only think of smart putdowns about an hour later.

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  9. Anonymous2:51 pm

    Ha ha ha - loved the punchline on this.

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  10. Well that was a start to the day wasn't it?

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  11. Good lord. No other words :(

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  12. i know those days well

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  13. Some days, we have simply had enough, and being a "crabby old cow" is the best option - I was rather rude to someone on Monday - it felt good to say what I was feeling.

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    1. Sometimes you just need to open your gob

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  14. Sounds like you had a great day. All I ever get in supermarkets are short women asking me to grab something from a high shelf for them.

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  15. You could have given here your best gay wave too.

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    1. I was beyond being nice, i wanted to bitch slap her in reality

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  16. John what a day! Mines just begun here in Arkansas... having my first cup of coffee... Its a little late to be having a first cup of coffee... slept in late...First really cool Fall morning here and i'm savoring it!
    When you reminded that lady that you sad 'Crabby' it reminded me of something from my youth... I was a quiet, shy kid.. moved around alot.. always starting a new school... Well in grade school this one girl picked on me mercilessly... I guess now it would be called bullying.. buy anyway one day the anger and frustration reared up in me when she was making fun of my long legs... (when your a kid you don't realize having long legs is a good thing lol )I'd always been taught to ignore them and they will tire and leave you alone.. well i can tell you that is not always the case... So here she is calling me 'long legs' and i'm just boiling inside and something snaps and i look at her straight in the eyes.. (something i always avoided doing) and i said loud and clear... 'I may be long legs but YOUR Daddy Long Legs!' And you know what? She never bothered me again.........lol Hugs! deb

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  17. I've worked in retail. I know what that guy means.

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    1. I take my hat off to a good retail person.being nice consistantly must be exhausting

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    2. It is really, really bad for people I reckon. I thrive on being around people but even I after five years just find my inner Bernard Black rearing up several times a day!

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  18. Lost your sense of humour by the sound of it

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    1. When the old bag started, i sure did

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    2. It sounded like it was banter in the supermarket

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  19. Ha ha, that poor cashier! And personally, I try never to speak to anyone before my first cup of coffee. Not advisable.

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  20. Some days its best just to stay in bed! I tried to help an old woman the other day when the wheels of her shopping trolley got caught. She screamed at me 'get yer 'ands off my trolly' I tried to placate her by saying that I was only trying to help and then she started up again! As I walked past her she shouted 'stupid woman' and followed by 'thanks anyway!'

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  21. bastards/bitches had it coming; stupid people get on my last nerve!

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  22. Wish I had been there to make you a cup of tea and a soothing comment.

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  23. I am always amazed at the rudeness/aggressiveness of some people, as I'm quite a laid back person myself. I do wonder what horrible sad lives they must live to be like that. Good for you in correcting the crabby old cow though.

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    Replies
    1. On reflection I was being a bit of a knob

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    2. Good on you sir

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  24. Blood pressure, John! Blood pressure!!

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  25. There are some days it's better to just not get out of bed! Sounds like one of those... would a Scotch egg help?

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  26. Bloody Hell, what's got into these people ? They need to take a Chill Pill.

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  27. I said it the other day and I'll ssy again John - I have never know anyone get into so many scrapes as you.

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  28. What was this subject you feel passionately about? Kitchen design? I guess your argumentative colleague had read the IKEA catalogue from cover to cover.

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  29. Oh gawd .... what a day ..... I hope Russell Crowe on The One Show has cheered you up !!! XXXX

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    1. I missed him! Was he grumpy?

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    2. No ...... he sang with his new group and they were quite good ...... and he was on with Mel Brooks so they were both very funny. XXXX

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  30. You can't blame people for being edgy, given the state of the planet and the buffoons with their fingers on the red buttons just waiting to nuke us all into oblivion. Everybody's scared.

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    1. She was in a grump because we were just standing in her way. I did tell her that if she asked us to move nicely we would have done nicely.
      Incidentally chatting people in supermarkets get on my tits too but I'm too polite to let rip

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    2. Someone wrote 'wanker'in the dust on the driver's side of my car today. I thought that was charming considering I have two child seats in the back of my car, not hard to miss when viewed from any angle. I'd like to meet that angry person who dared to overstep the mark (most likely parked next to me at Tesco car park yesterday).

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  31. Of course.... retail.

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  32. It sounds like a dreadful start to the day - and I am glad to read in the comments that it improved.
    I too have been a retail worker and could only think those retorts. And think them I did. Often.

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  33. There seems to be an epidemic of authoritarianism, of people casually judging other people and telling them how they should or shouldn't behave. I wish they'd all shut up and let people just get on with their lives. Good for you, calling the Tesco woman a crabby old cow. I wouldn't have the nerve.

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    1. Are people more angry? Perhaps

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  34. Oh my...some need to be reminded of how they sound. Good for you.

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  35. I don't have much use for human beings in general and avoid contact whenever possible.

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  36. Aline in Michigan1:14 am

    I just cannot wait to call someone an OLD COW the next time someone of the female persuasion pisses me off! My new putdown of choice.

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  37. I don't really lose my temper in the general public but working, as I do with the elderly and infirm, one negative, moaning old gent got my goat so much one day ... without thinking I nodded to another negative comment about the state of his life with " yeah... but god you are a miserable old git ain't ya"... we were both stunned into silence...me thinking "Did I just say what I think I did" he blinked once or twice then laughed and said.... "well done, no-one has had the balls before now"....."do you want a cup of tea?" All came out in the wash really ... thank god!

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  38. Sometimes the fizz has to come out of the bottle.

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  39. I understand the feeling. But just imagine the life of that poor cashier!

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  40. These idiots can sure be downers...they must be miserable!

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  41. As an aging one some things take me a bit longer . . .
    And I enjoy playing a game in the Self Serve lanes with it all.

    EVERYONE is in a hurry . . .

    Taking MY TIME isn't always received well by the person waiting next.
    I finish, smile, and say, "my nickle is worth the same as yours."
    RELAX and enjoy the day . . .

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes