The train was packed.
I was on the 9.10am from Euston and was due back in Wales by midday, which was good as I still had a ton of work to do for the Flower Show and I am on a six hour Sams shift this evening to boot! So much for retirement.
A large Jewish family of five took up most of the seats around me leaving me and another middle aged couple opposite me, the only strangers in our part of the train. Next to me was teenage son of the family who looked perhaps fourteen. He was busy on his ipad
The mother of the children spent most of her time fussing away. She handed out food, constantly asked the children and her husband questions and organised the journey within an inch of its life.
In between all this she engaged me and the other couple in polite conversation.
Where we were going? how awful it was to have only one toilet in our part of the train working ( yeah thanks Virgin Trains) would we like a polo mint?
All very nice stuff I must say, but dovetailing all this she kept on at her teenage son about what he was doing?
Was he on facebook? Was he emailing his brother in France?
What was he doing on his ipad?
It's terribly antisocial you know......!
Finally the boy snapped but did so in such a delightful way the couple opposite to me and I all burst into fits of laughter!
After the mother had asked him for the twentieth time what he was doing on his ipad.
The boy slowly put the ipad down, and said in a very loud and serious voice
" I 'm watching gay porn on it mother!"
Anyhow, this afternoon I have been making traybakes at the kitchen table and as I did so, watched Mark Gatiss' recent Talking Heads tv show QUEERS. One monologue where Ben Whishaw plays a World War One soldier in love with his commanding officer was incredibly moving, and I must admit I shed a small tear as I
Folded in the self raising flour.
Try and watch it, if you can get BBC IPLAYER
Hey ho
I was on the 9.10am from Euston and was due back in Wales by midday, which was good as I still had a ton of work to do for the Flower Show and I am on a six hour Sams shift this evening to boot! So much for retirement.
A large Jewish family of five took up most of the seats around me leaving me and another middle aged couple opposite me, the only strangers in our part of the train. Next to me was teenage son of the family who looked perhaps fourteen. He was busy on his ipad
The mother of the children spent most of her time fussing away. She handed out food, constantly asked the children and her husband questions and organised the journey within an inch of its life.
In between all this she engaged me and the other couple in polite conversation.
Where we were going? how awful it was to have only one toilet in our part of the train working ( yeah thanks Virgin Trains) would we like a polo mint?
All very nice stuff I must say, but dovetailing all this she kept on at her teenage son about what he was doing?
Was he on facebook? Was he emailing his brother in France?
What was he doing on his ipad?
It's terribly antisocial you know......!
Finally the boy snapped but did so in such a delightful way the couple opposite to me and I all burst into fits of laughter!
After the mother had asked him for the twentieth time what he was doing on his ipad.
The boy slowly put the ipad down, and said in a very loud and serious voice
" I 'm watching gay porn on it mother!"
Anyhow, this afternoon I have been making traybakes at the kitchen table and as I did so, watched Mark Gatiss' recent Talking Heads tv show QUEERS. One monologue where Ben Whishaw plays a World War One soldier in love with his commanding officer was incredibly moving, and I must admit I shed a small tear as I
Folded in the self raising flour.
Try and watch it, if you can get BBC IPLAYER
Hey ho
Ben Whishaw
That boy will do well in life!
ReplyDeleteA storm in a teacup... A tear in a traybake...
ReplyDeleteLove the put-down, hope Mother had the grace to laugh?
.....all interesting observations, but what was you doing in London and what was the dancing bear about in the last post? :)
ReplyDeleteThat would be telling!
ReplyDeleteSometimes "don't ask, don't tell" is appropriate.
ReplyDeleteJudging from yesterday's post you must have been down in London to audition for the part of Balou in a forthcoming West End production of "The Jungle Book".
ReplyDeletetears through laughter is my favorite emotion.
ReplyDeleteLoved the boy's response.
ReplyDeleteI watched that programme. I though it was quite, quite wonderful. So very well acted and I must admit I shed more than one tear!
Lisa x
When he cried it broke my heart
DeleteNow tell us what the mothers reaction was, both to her sons comment and your reaction.
ReplyDeleteThe mother, father and siblings groaned then laughed after we all did...the boy never changed his deadpan expression
Deletemarvellous!
Deleteperfect
DeleteOK I'm still curious about Balou the Bear. Are you just going to leave us hanging?
ReplyDeleteIt was a happy dance
DeleteIs Mark Gatiss gay? I have never thought about it before, but I suppose he is multi-talented enough to be.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteNo idea, but I didn't want your comment go ignored.
DeleteYes very gay! His monologues were very good, this one was outstanding...look for the one by Rebecca Front as the 1950s woman married to a gay man
DeleteWere you playing the Jewish mother here in deleting Tom's second comment?
DeleteYes and you know very well why i did it
DeleteI can't even remember what I said. It must have been a throw-away comment, so he threw it away.
DeleteRubbish needs tossing
DeleteWe all need tossing every now and then.
DeleteSmart lad! Love to watch Ben but we can't normally watch BBC. I am never quite sure why we have free access to radio and podcasts but not tv, given the Beeb says it is copyright issues.
ReplyDeleteI hope it reaches youtube andrew
DeleteDid you check other religions?
ReplyDeleteNo others were offered
DeleteI really like Ben W. What a great actor.
ReplyDeleteHe was exceptional in this production
DeleteThank you for viewing the world with such a clear eye. No BBC I Player here, darn.
ReplyDeleteI hope his mother was able to appreciate her son's response! What is a traybake? Never mind, you're busy baking them, so I'll Google it :)
ReplyDeleteLooks like they are what we call "squares" which my Australian son-in-law finds hilarious ... "as opposed to circles? rectangles? pentagons?" etc.
DeleteRectangles of sponge with icing on the top....the mother, father and siblings roared with laughter...but only after we did
DeleteI do like learning a new word! "Traybakes" is definitely not in use in the USA; we have brownies and blondies, and if you're in parts of the Midwest (mostly Minnesota), you have squares (which everyone everywhere else finds as hilarious as Jenny's Australian SIL, even though we lack an adequate name for them).
DeleteThat should be the answer to every question an overly-inquisitive mother asks in public.
ReplyDeleteGay porn being so outrageous? Purleeeeese ...
DeleteU
Was it necessary to point out that these people are Jewish?
ReplyDeleteFar be it from me to take up John's baton. However, in answer to your question, it was necessary to mention that the family was Jewish. It paints a picture. And Jewish mothers (ask a Jewish person) are people from both hell and heaven, unique. Think Maureen Lipman. And there is no escape from a Jewish mother as long as they live. nay, beyond the grave. Which is why John's story doesn't ring true. Oh, how he'll love me once more for reminding him of his own mother, the spoil sport.
DeleteU
It was an aside liz,
DeleteThey were a delightful , loud and exuberant troupe and it was the the mother who informed us of their background by her narrative.
I was being purly descriptive when i said it and in no way judgemental,
You should know that of me by now
It was not immediately apparent to me that the family incident you went on to talk about was the one and same Jewish family you said were in your carriage. Like Liz I saw no reason for you to have made the description "Jewish" although when I read it through again I could see where you were coming from.
DeleteThank fuck for that
DeleteYes, that Whishaw/ Gatiss monologue was hellishly powerful television. My sole gripe was that I think it would have been even better had the name been left unsaid of the miserably humiliated convict standing shackled on the station platform - or was I in a minority to have seen it coming from a mile off?
ReplyDeleteYes that bit was just a bit heavy handed
DeleteI must remember the boy in the train when Jenny suggests I'm over-using the iPad.
ReplyDeleteAm i the only Jewish mother here? sometimes i wonder.
ReplyDeleteI think i am one too yael x lol
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteBrilliant answer !
ReplyDeleteI watched Man in an orange suit yesterday & looking forward to the second half.
John - did you watch Man in an Orange Shirt? I found it so very moving and like you I shed a tear at the end. The second episode is next Monday and is a story from sixty years later. I can't wait for it to be on.
ReplyDeleteIt was a powerful programme on many levels pat, btw tgank you so much for the raffle money
DeleteHilarious, I'm not surprised everyone laughed! Loving The Man in the Orange Shirt too.
ReplyDeleteAnd a decade from now he will tell his therapist, "no one took me seriously when I tried to tell them!"
ReplyDeleteSort of thing 16 year old boys say, They love to shock. One gets used to it sadly. Sighs heavily
ReplyDeleteI love it ... keep an eye on the puddle in the road and see how long it takes to disappear ... or see if any of the villagers is suddenly very cheerful and possibly Silly ~
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