You need bigger balls!


I'm  now sat at the kitchen table with a large coffee. According to radio 2 research has " proven" that drinking three cups of coffee in a 24 hour period is good for you. I drink one massive cup of coffee in the morning, so I'm doing something right!
One of cockerel bachelors has been attacking a couple of the more timid  neighbours. Nothing serious given his size but it was slightly upsetting for the slightly built Mandy who was actually sharing a few crusts of bread with them at the time.
"Stand you ground, stamp your foot at him, face him and flap your arms like wings" I told her as she gave me a rather dubious look. " He has to know you are a tough bitch with balls bigger than his" 
It seems to have worked as Mandy has been " flapping her arms" like a good un everytime she passes the group as they sunbathe by the field gate.
Back to my coffee.
The sun is shining today too which is lovely. I can catch up with jobs after the torrential rain of yesterday.
My job list is growing as my 500 ml coffee cup empties

Bath dogs,
Order coal and logs, book car service, more phone calls....Flower Show jobs
Paint old Trevor's side fence ( he's paying me!)
Finalise garden entries for Flower Show
Deliver remaining schedules, and sell raffle tickets to the East side of village,
Make turkey meatballs and a tomato sauce from scratch for supper
Write a letter to the village conservation group
But for now......before I start.......I shall sit quietly at the kitchen table with the sun streaming through the window.
And I will drink my coffee
Beetroot rat

The latest novelty veg photos
Zombie celeriac  

31 comments:

  1. Sitting in the sun with a coffee is the best medicine!
    The celeriac zombie is brilliant, you have some talented readers

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  2. I have three, sometimes FOUR MUGfuls of coffee every day. (Instant, alas. Can't be bothered with all this faffing around with filters etc). I'm going to live to 120 at least. Bear that in mind.

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  3. A great habit to get into for the coming retirement! Would love to see that flapping of the arms!

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  4. I have just had my cup of coffee. Instant, like Ray, with Carnation milk and a bar of Aero. Yum yum.

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  5. sounds like a good start to a busy day. I just rolled outta bed and I have my coffee mug. don't ask me to do anything yet.

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  6. Dont drink coffee and never have. Time to go to work. Have a nice day.

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  7. You don't need to make turkey meatballs, just ask for some from your local turkey farmer. The gobblers are a lot more passive when they have had their balls removed.

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  8. Stop and savor the coffee, the balls and birds await.

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  9. i do not know where you find the energy to do all that in one day amd have time to relish that well-earned cup of coffee!

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  10. And I am sitting in my little office, *upstairs small bedroom*, with my coffee, with the sun streaming in, , reading your blog.

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    1. I am sitting in my conservatory with a brute of a dehumidifier drying the cellar. My kitchen is ruined after the seal on my hot water tap blew... In the middle of the night.... I discovered it on Sunday morning.

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  11. That bit about the coffee was on our news as well...I wonder how much the coffee industry paid for that bit of promo. I'm willing to believe it though because I do love my coffee.

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  12. OMG that gif! LOL! And Zombie Celeriac too!

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  13. I'm not falling for another 'what you should or shouldn't consume' bunch of blarney.

    Absolutely love the rat, best so fat!

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  14. Was it just me that thought, at first look, the beet rat appeared to be a pile of doggy doo? LOL! I almost spit out my coffee!

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  15. Just reading your list tried me. I say get yourself some houseboys.

    I seriously thought that was a rat. I thought WHAT IN HELL is he cooking!

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  16. I thought you were doing an autopsy on something one of the dogs had caught!! Too hilarious for me!!

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    1. acccck ! Sorry Amy I wrote the same thing. I should have read the comments before I wrote mine !

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  17. Just a few months ago our news was....
    Coffee will cause you heart problems.
    Like it will stop and you will die.
    Now they say I can drink it and be wonderful.
    Good news for me. I never stopped anyway.
    I recently learned cold brewing coffee.
    Great stuff in this insane heat we've
    been experiencing.

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  18. I first thought that you were performing an autopsy on the gift that Albert left for you.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  19. Coffee, the lubricant of civilization.

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  20. OMG that rat is horrible.... brilliant but horrible. I feel quite sick.

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  21. Anonymous11:22 pm

    At my age... pass the coffee

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  22. Even when I look at it now it looks like a rat and I made it!

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  23. That celeriac looks like the robot from "The Day the Earth Stood Still."

    I drink exactly 3 cups of coffee each day! Who knew I was being so good to myself? LOL

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  24. Well I drink at least 6 cups a day .... so it must be doubly good for me 😁

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  25. Before I read the caption, I thought the beetroot rat was a gift from Albert.
    I gave up coffee due to GERD. A pot of tea for me is now the morning ritual.

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  26. The beetroot rat looks more like a used tampon to my eye LOL

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  27. Thank you to everyone, especially John, for watching the video and I enjoyed making it. Lovely place, beautiful views and fantastic people.
    ลา ลีกา สเปน

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes