I have been painting the render on the outside of the cottage for much of the day.
It's an odious job.
Twice ramblers have stopped for eggs ( remembering I sold them from previous hikes) and twice they have been somewhat startled by the sight of a masturbating bulldog rubbing her fanny on the garden steps when they leaned over the lane wall.
I'm so used to it, I don't bother to even acknowledge her behaviour any more.
" Oh dear" one woman exclaimed when she spied Winnie whipping herself into an absolute frenzy this time against the outhouse wall " a woman has needs, don't you baby?! " she cooed. Her husband was more practical and certainly nonplussed
" She'll have all your pebble-dash off with an arse that size " he warned
Poor Winnie.
ReplyDeleteHa, that must have been some moment. Greetings.
ReplyDeleteWas the husband referring to Winnie or to his wife?
ReplyDeleteNaughty
DeleteShe's missing me, isn't she ?
ReplyDeleteLike YP's answer.
ReplyDeleteHysterical!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha....I'm envisioning this little encounter. Your life is really far more interesting than mine.
ReplyDeleteAww Winnie, you shameless old tart!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry. I am sure you could pebble-dash the walls with your own arse if Winnie rubs it off with hers. Not sure how the whitewash would take though.
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't make it up!!
ReplyDeleteLord, the fun never stops ...
ReplyDeleteIt was hardly fun
DeleteAnd I wasn't serious! But your paint job is very good.
DeleteHer fanny must be red raw by now.
ReplyDeleteIts as thick as rhino hide
DeleteOh Winnie - you have no sense of occasion !
ReplyDeleteReally Winnie! Totally shameless! On a more serious note, could she have an infection that irritates her?
ReplyDeleteNo! All checked and clean....shes just a tart
DeleteI'm sure most painters and decorators are well used to the resident dogs wanking themselves into a frenzy. I love the jocular comments from the passing couple.
DeleteSome people join in with the fun
DeleteIgnoring all that what are you using to paint the render?
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean by "render." Nice entry way. :)
ReplyDeleteRender is a covering for stone or brick buildings its rough and needs painting
ReplyDeleteWe call that 'stucco'.
DeleteNo privacy whatsoever for Winnie!
I live such a boring life
ReplyDeleteSo do I
Deletegood old girl, that winnie. self love is the best love of all!
ReplyDeleteA woman has her needs.
ReplyDeleteThis was funny to begin with. The comments make it even better. I'll have to use that line, "She'll have all your pebble-dash off with an arse that size."
ReplyDeleteI have a 'self pleasuring' dog too - you are not alone! Heard some strange rumblings earlier this evening - turns out B was having such a good time the lounge was shaking!
ReplyDeletecould she have an infection that irritates her?
ReplyDeleteแตกใน xxx