A Frozen Lobster on Your nipples.

The Prof broke a tooth on a maverick hors d'oeuvre and has retired to bed after emergency dental work. I took the dogs out in the relative cool of the evening. It's been so hot today Winnie has laid down in the shade of the garden buddleia with a tea towel covered Aldi frozen half lobster placed under her nipples.
Bulldogs don't do heat! 
We bumped into affable despot Claire in the street. She had just seen very small girl running through the village clutching a teddy bear, and had gone out, in her comfy pants to investigate . The girl  was no where to be seen, which prompted a " ghost girl " sort of conversation 
We've all agreed that we had experienced far too sun today. 


37 comments:

  1. The heat has fried your brains like eggs on the pavement.

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    Replies
    1. I agree John. Aldi also sells frozen peas, much more appropriate. Or does she demand a more refined ice pack?

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  2. My gud dugs lay their bellies and chests on the cool tile floor in the air conditioned home. The only way they survive in Tucson heat.
    They go out to potty and then zoom back in. Today high is 109 the low will be 71.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. I remember that Arizona heat and would like to lie on the tile floor too !

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    2. Me too ! but if I did get down I know I would never be able to get up !

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  3. Replies
    1. No it was the teddy walker from episode one

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  4. How hot is it there?

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    Replies
    1. 28 degrees in Trelawnyd which for Welsh people is tropical!

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    2. John is that 28 deg Celcius? This morning we had 0 degree Celcius or 32 deg Farenheit. .bit chilly. Our doggies are double rugged to brave the grass!

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  5. ....hhhm, interesting way to thaw seafood.

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  6. Much cooler and fresher here today. Perfect for dogs.Hope you're not going to eat that shellfish!

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  7. Oh, the hijinks in your part of the world!

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  8. Funny way to thaw a lobster.

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    Replies
    1. Only for 20 minutes , then i put it back in the freezer!

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  9. Oh the mental pictures !!
    First of all, I imagine falling asleep with a frozen lobster on my bare chest and having someone come into the house ...
    or the cats come in and think I have prepared a picnic for them ..
    Or I get a freezer burn on my chest in the shape of a lobster and have to see a doctor ... the mind... it is spinning .. lol

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  10. hmmmmmm, I will never look at lobster the same way again. we just had some thunderstorms go through to cool us down. we hit 32C today.

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  11. i guess it's better than a live lobster on your nipples. it's so frigging hot and humid here that i really envy winnie! i need a frozen lobster but i'm not saying where i would place it.

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  12. Freeze bottles of water for Winnie to lie on.

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  13. So hot here today...........
    Southern California is burning again.
    I have the evacuation kits
    and animal crates at the ready.
    A few years ago we were evacuated
    four days while our neighborhood burned.
    Our house made it with only smoke damage
    but we lost all the fencing and garden and patios.
    So many of my neighbors were not so lucky.
    This time of year always makes me very nervous.
    Yes, I do believe global warming is happening.
    My family way up home in Canada are
    complaining of the heat as well.

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    1. Janet - very scary. Take care & good luck.

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  14. Fart too soon or Far too much sun? I blame the heat for this confusion. Roll on winter weather!

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  15. This may be the funniest blog post I've ever read ever. Thank you. I remain your faithful reader, sans nipple lobster. Rebecca

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  16. Poor Winnie. Good thing it wasn't a live lobster.

    Couldn't you be normal and use a bag of frozen peas instead, though? :)

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  17. She looks as if she will fit in to Comic Con just fine.

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  18. Anonymous2:37 am

    Coming here is better than seeing a therapist. I threw away my prescription for an antidepressant. Who needs it when I feel better after a visit here? Thanks. :D

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  19. I feel alarmed that a young girl was seen running through the village clutching a teddy bear. Did you investigate further ?
    I've been putting a wet bandanna on Dillon to keep him cool. He is recovering from a big operation so it's actually quite good that it's hot as he has to have short on the lead walks and lots of rest. It would be nice if he could cool down in the village stream though.
    Husband is on a boat in Scotland and it has poured with rain for the last week - not happy. He loves the heat & I struggle with it, a wet bandanna round my neck me thinks for today xx

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  20. I used to have a pug - they don't do heat either - in fact they can die from not being able to breath well enough. Tess found it very hard going and I didn't walk her till late at night. But frozen lobster? What's wrong with frozen peas?

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  21. Think I would need a whole lobster for my nipples x

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    Replies
    1. Frozen or still alive Lisa?

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    2. Ooh! still alive would be....interesting! hehe

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    3. I would need two whole lobsters with adjustable claws. just sayin...

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  22. Anonymous4:24 am

    The reality is that people suffering mental illness are more dangerous to themselves than to other people. Certainly the majority of murders and serious violence are committed by those who are otherwise 'sane' individuals.

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I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes