It feels rather Christmasy this morning.
Bright and sunny with the sun low in the sky.
I dropped a natty Prof off at a local conferenc centre
He looked mighty fine in his best suit.
I was wearing my pyjama bottoms under my trousers.
On the way home, I stopped at the drive through to buy an egg muffin and coffee
The girl on the intercom was being playful
" what's your Christmas wish?" She asked
" World peace " I told her
It got me in the Christmas mood
Driving back I sang
" These three kings of orient are
Selling knickers a pound a pair
How fantastic!
No elastic!
Selling a pound a pair!"
It got me in the Christmas mood
Driving back I sang
" These three kings of orient are
Selling knickers a pound a pair
How fantastic!
No elastic!
Selling a pound a pair!"
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
ReplyDeleteMy drive through gave to me:
Twelve bags of Pepto,
Eleven pounds of blubber,
Ten baked potatoes,
Nine Polish hot dogs,
Eight bowls of chilli,
Seven tubs of coleslaw,
Six chocolate milkshakes,
Five onion rings,
Four Egg McMuffins,
Three XL Fries,
Two Happy Meals,
and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese.
you have created clever comments the past 2 days; keep up the good work, sir! :)
DeleteLovely, but you forgot the scotch eggs.
DeleteI must confess that it's not entirely original. I just made a couple of changes.
DeleteThree Scotch Eggs? That would fit in nicely !
DeleteIn the bleak mid winter
ReplyDeleteJohn Gray made my day
He's my Father Christmas
And the dogs all pull the sleigh
Albert finds the Christmas mouse
Hidden in the snow
In the bleak midwinter
Lo-o-ong ago
another good poem!
DeleteAnd that's Bette in my favourite Christmas movie EVER!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe Man Who Came to Dinner! In my top 5, along with The Bishops Wife, Its a Wonderful life, The Polar Express and top of all Christmas Vacation!
DeleteI never thought I'd meet someone (virtually speaking) who had the same top 5 Christmas films as me...Hurrah!!
DeleteNot a rhyme I have heard before. Funny.
ReplyDeleteOne on a scooter, blowing his hooter...
ReplyDeleteWorld peace is a very good thing to wish for!
ReplyDeletethat's our john - pj bottoms and crocs!
ReplyDeleteJohn, reading your blog and the comments makes me so happy in the mornings. Needed it especially today. Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteMy second laugh of the morning, what a wonderful way to start the day.
ReplyDeleteLOL -- don't you mean "whirled peas"? Some people probably need knickers with no elastic. :)
ReplyDeletePeas on earth,
DeletePeas on earth,
DeleteI learned this version as a child:
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of orient are
Trying to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded and exploded.
We two kings of orient are....
Xoxo
Barbara
Cracking! More bastardized hymns please
DeleteI always ask for World Peace--sadly, I'm still waiting--but I'll take a Bette Davis movie in the meantime.
ReplyDeleteme too; and I ask for an end to hunger and h8 and bigotry and never get those either.
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8XKEvClA-k
ReplyDeleteThis should put anyone in a good mood ...
I woke up with a Bette Davis mood today, and it's not for sissies.
ReplyDeleteThat's my mood most days...
DeleteIf I had one one-hundredth of your Christmas spirit I'd be a much happier human being.
ReplyDeleteLittle donkey
ReplyDeleteLittle donkey
On the M25
Got run over, by a Rover
Little donkey died
Im enjoying these!
DeleteThat's inflation for you. In my day those knickers were tuppence a pair. I blame decimalisation.
ReplyDeleteCheap knickers how unfortunate x
DeleteYou'll have to catch me later, I woke with a headache ...
ReplyDeleteThe one we used to sing -
ReplyDeleteWe Three Kings of Orient are,
One in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter blowing his hooter,
Going to Potter's Bar !
Keep em comming xxx
DeleteI always liked the kids' version of "Silent Night," changing "..round yon virgin mother and child" to "..round John Virgin, mother and child."
ReplyDeleteMy daughter when she was little used to sing Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad" as "Feliz Blobby-blob" because that's what it sounded like to her.
We should have a contest.....rewording of traditional Christmas songs...who can get the biggest laugh.
ReplyDeleteThe next verse:-
ReplyDeleteOh star of wonder, star of light,
Charlie caught his pants alight
He went screaming through the ceiling
wasn't a very pretty sight.
More please!
DeleteHere's one from New Yorker magazine that I copied to my blog in 2014:
ReplyDeleteA Climate Change Christmas Carol
Silent Night
Endless night!
All is dark, there’s no light.
Cyclone clouds have blocked out the sky,
We’re almost out of our dry-meat supply.
Sleep in uneasy peace.
(We may have to eat Aunt Bernice.)
Hey that must be a rarity! Fantastic
DeleteAlmost fifty years ago my son was at Lichfield Cathedral School. He wasn't a choir boy but of course had his lessons with them. One year one of the carols they practised for the Christmas service was 'The Angel Gabriel from Heaven came.....' The last line of the first verse being 'most highly favoured lady - Gloria'
ReplyDeleteTo a man they all sang 'most highly flavoured lady - strawberry' and got a flea in their collective ears afterwards.
Get on Youtube and check out Kevin Bloody Wilson's 'Hey Santa Claus'. When you've recovered, try a few Bob Rivers songs like 'Yellow snow' and 'Chipmunks roasting on an open fire' :-)
ReplyDeleteJust have......bloody marvellous
DeleteSimon Mayo, DJ, used to play a brilliant version of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland", changed to "Walking round in Womens underwear". It had lines like " Later on, if you wanna, we can dress like Madonna" and "Wearing her clothes, silk pantyhose" me and the hubster cried laughing when we first heard it.
ReplyDeleteAnother Bob Rivers classic
DeleteI found some Bob Rivers stuff on youtube, I was in tears of laughter, brilliant!
DeleteTo the tune of Good King Wenceslas:
ReplyDeleteRebecca does revolting farts
The stink is quite disgusting
There's no let-up once she starts
Especially when she's dusting
Nice one
DeleteLook up jingle bells shot gun shells
ReplyDeleteYou are simply precious...and funnnny!
ReplyDeleteLook up jingle bells shot gun shells
ReplyDeleteIt went from winter chills to autumn breezes, so I can't say it feels like Christmas but feeling like Christmas is a hard thing to define in the southern United States
ReplyDeleteOnly you . . .
ReplyDeletecan bring out rhyme and silliness
from "the troops" . . .
and throw in a world peace line to boot . . .
but if you take that equal 5'nine" huge boned frame and put it in a bikini weighing in at among one hundred forty to 160 lbs that can happen. http://musclegainfast.com/leanfire-xt-reviews/
ReplyDeleteI've only ever heard, We three kings of Orient are... smoking on a rubber cigar... I like your version better.
ReplyDeleteIf you had the time to put on your trousers, couldn't you have slipped off the pyjama bottoms first?